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 Message Boards » » holistic chinese medicine is disgusting Page [1]  
jcgolden
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YUCK!! my gf just made me swill about 4 shots of this this nasty chinese liquor with rotten yangmei (bayberry i think we call it) floaters in it. all because i had the squirts today.

ITT we tell our stories of nasty cures that are worse than the disease. bonus points if later research or experience showed that it was pointless.

12/15/2012 8:04:02 AM

jcgolden
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myrica_rubra http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myrica_rubra bayberry

reason for edit : stinging sensation when peanuts in my masturbatory feces get turned sideways and friction

12/15/2012 8:43:01 AM

jtw208
 
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acupuncture isn't so bad

[Edited on December 15, 2012 at 8:51 AM. Reason : jcgolden strikes again]

12/15/2012 8:50:33 AM

AntiMnifesto
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Wow...if I didn't have an iron stomach already, I might have thrown up a bit at this thread. Turns out I just kept going anyway with my oatmeal.

12/15/2012 9:22:00 AM

wolfpackgrrr
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So what's the benefit of that stuff over Imodium?

12/15/2012 9:29:24 AM

jcgolden
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i dunno, she did it not me. they don't have stuff like imodium, pepto, etc over the counter here. you can get anything here but you have to hunt for it or order it. i generally don't do anything when i have something wrong. hell, that stuff she fed me is apparently made once a year in households when the yangmei are in season. like make your own pepto or something. chinese culture is lulz.

12/15/2012 9:41:44 AM

ncsuapex
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did you recently up your life insurance policy? Or add your gf to be your beneficiary?

12/15/2012 9:54:53 AM

EuroTitToss
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http://youtu.be/HMGIbOGu8q0

12/15/2012 10:55:54 AM

Fumbler
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http://www.myseveralworlds.com/2007/08/27/traditional-chinese-medicine-my-experience-with-scraping/

My mom used to do this when I was small and had a cold. She'd use tiger balm and an old Cambodian coin to scrape my back. It'd look like you drew the outlines of my spine and ribs with red paint when she was done. It'd hurt like hell and she'd sit on me to keep me from squirming. It did seem to make the cold go away...maybe because I was too traumatized to notice the cold.

[Edited on December 15, 2012 at 12:16 PM. Reason : ]

12/15/2012 12:14:35 PM

0EPII1
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Quote :
"It did seem to make the cold go away...maybe because I was too traumatized to notice the cold."


Ha! That's basically how acupuncture is theorized to work, by causing minor pain which blocks the sensation of the major pain you are trying to cure.

12/15/2012 3:55:33 PM

jcgolden
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stimulating the release of endorphins yea. acupuncture works by inducing the immune system to kick in, dilate the blood vessels, and open up the lymphatic system (sewer system of the cells)

even when i got dangerous 2 week long severe diarrhea in the jungle of Sumatra and it spread to my eye I was like "fuck it" I don't like to healthcares. that whole thing resulted in a 4 day stay in a luxury suite private hospital bed, colonoscopy, physican trained in a soviet hospital in Vietnam with 30 years experience/ 3 decent meals/ 24 hr nursing care/ all medications and antibiotics for.... about $450 grand total.

i not insurance because i self employed/rich and I'm not stupid enough to buy healthcares in America. also i dont like being blackmailed with laborious forms and procedures and forced to see bottom shelf doctors that went to fucking ECU. nobody makes a high quality insurance product for people like me. Fortis was the last thing I had self-pay in the states and they started lowering their quality with exceptions and shit so I canceled.

12/16/2012 8:19:08 AM

Fumbler
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I don't like to healthcares either.

12/16/2012 12:42:12 PM

0EPII1
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stimulating the release of endorphins yea. acupuncture works by inducing the immune system to kick in, dilate the blood vessels, and open up the lymphatic system (sewer system of the cells)

even when i got dangerous 2 week long severe diarrhea in the jungle of Sumatra and it spread to my eye I was like "fuck it" I don't like to healthcares. that whole thing resulted in a 4 day stay in a luxury suite private hospital bed, colonoscopy, physican trained in a soviet hospital in Vietnam with 30 years experience/ 3 decent meals/ 24 hr nursing care/ all medications and antibiotics for.... about $450 grand total.

i not insurance because i self employed/rich and I'm not stupid enough to buy healthcares in America. also i dont like being blackmailed with laborious forms and procedures and forced to see bottom shelf doctors that went to fucking ECU. nobody makes a high quality insurance product for people like me. Fortis was the last thing I had self-pay in the states and they started lowering their quality with exceptions and shit so I canceled.

Quote :
"DIARRHEA

IN

EYE"

12/16/2012 1:47:40 PM

Kiwi
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Hahaha why is this so funny to me?

12/16/2012 3:01:21 PM

ncsuapex
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Dude also has diarrhea of the keyboard.

12/16/2012 3:17:44 PM

jcgolden
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i had a sore throat so this time, she gave me 4 little brown hamster turd looking things and told me to put em under my tongue. i did it.

turns out these little things are just the original version of menthol eucalyptus cough drops.

like weed is to cough drops as hashish is to these little things.

sometimes Chinese shit is bomb

1/11/2013 7:52:58 AM

benz240
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Quote :
"sometimes Chinese shit is bomb"

1/11/2013 9:55:18 AM

justinh524
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how does diarrhea spread to one's eye?

1/11/2013 3:44:03 PM

baonest
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someone farts on a pillow and you have a pillow fight..


oh wait, thats pink eye

1/11/2013 4:20:45 PM

GREEN JAY
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more like stink eye

1/14/2013 3:29:29 PM

jcgolden
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bacterial/fungal infection worsened to the point where it was making my eye sting. that prompted me to go to the hospital. I was given colonoscopy and anti bacterial and anti fungal as a total blast of cares. considered malpractice in the states.

1/19/2013 12:30:14 PM

benz240
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Quote :
"I was given colonoscopy and anti bacterial and anti fungal as a total blast of cares"


sounds like you had a blast

1/20/2013 9:14:20 AM

jcgolden
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i just ate some japanese style BBQ leisure balls from taiwan. in other news, my calvin cleins with cod piece feature when accidentally worn backwards make you look like you shit in your underwear.

1/22/2013 2:10:56 AM

ssjamind
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OuEf-xV9hQc

1/22/2013 8:44:06 AM

quagmire02
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why is this still in the lounge?

1/22/2013 9:06:55 AM

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