was caught in the rigid zipper of my pants, I am about ready to throw these damn jeans away. I wouldn't even want to give them to goodwill, because some other poor sap would no doubt have to endure the same incidents that have plagued me.

This last time, it took me 2.5 minutes to work myself free. Fuck.

1/24/2013 8:45:25 AM

this thread triggered my PTSD

1/24/2013 8:46:08 AM

You know the sound a puppy makes when you accidentally step on it's tail? The yelp?
That's the sound that I made.

1/24/2013 8:52:44 AM

"weve got a bleeder"

1/24/2013 3:06:20 PM

that 190% button fly

1/24/2013 3:10:37 PM

are all yall going commando? I fail to see how this happens when wearing the proper undergarments

1/24/2013 3:13:14 PM

Boxers here

God's undergarments

1/24/2013 3:15:59 PM

Oh jeez...I have never had a penis yet I just got phantom pains.

1/24/2013 3:22:37 PM

1. Don't wear jeans to work. I don't care if they 'let' you, its not a good look and you won't be taken seriously. Chinos or slacks do just fine.
2. Full withdrawl, not just the head. When you whip your cock out, whip your cock out. This provides a clearer demarcation between zipper and flesh.
3. Fully sheath your cock before even beginning to zip up. Mine generally rests against my left thigh. So when I put it back, I make sure its in a secure place and not in the underwear/pantleg purgatory.
4. Zip slow at first until you're sure the area is cock free, then zip to completion. 90% of all cockzips can be traced back to failure to comply with this step.
5. Take two fingers and lightly prod your prostate. This will get rid of the leftover piss squirts that otherwise go in your pants.

1/24/2013 3:25:48 PM

Step 5 before step 3 or failure will still occur

1/24/2013 4:40:03 PM

I think the fault lies with my pants. They must be defective.


These incidents have happened twice in as many months with the same jeans; whereas in the past I have never so much as caught a stray pube in my zipper.

1/24/2013 5:29:08 PM

thanks Obama

1/24/2013 5:32:34 PM

you might be wearing pants designed only for the white man, or perhaps even a china man

your dork was not in the design parameters for those jeans

1/24/2013 5:37:46 PM

Perhaps, B. these are the first pair of GAP jeans I've ever owned.

1/24/2013 5:39:10 PM

1/24/2013 6:59:51 PM

B , Plz bring back that boastful alias, G.

1/24/2013 7:06:12 PM

Ever since There's Something about Mary, I've followed steps two through four religiously.

1/24/2013 7:18:28 PM

Pain is one of the greatest teachers. I have done this a few times, but prob not in 10 years. Maybe 20. That shit is not something you soon forget and revert to carelessness with.

1/24/2013 9:13:29 PM

I think every guy will catch, or has caught, the cock-n-ball skin in the zipper once.....and once is all it takes to never do that shit again

1/24/2013 9:18:20 PM

A fat guy at my work wears elastic pants and there's no zipper, or fly at all really. You have to pull them down like sweat pants. Lucky bastard, he never has to deal with this.

1/24/2013 9:20:56 PM

I was all:

1/24/2013 9:24:27 PM

I'm more just like

1/24/2013 9:29:58 PM

1/24/2013 9:30:52 PM

1/24/2013 9:33:07 PM

[Edited on January 24, 2013 at 9:33 PM. Reason : ]

1/24/2013 9:33:14 PM

1/24/2013 9:37:54 PM

1/24/2013 9:38:20 PM

1/24/2013 9:38:40 PM

1/24/2013 9:44:22 PM

Jerry: I like the button fly. That is one place on my wardrobe I do not need sharp interlocking metal teeth. It's a mink trap down there.

1/24/2013 9:52:05 PM