might as well start one of these so we can add them as we all come across them...or skew anything we don't like into something it wasn't...or just make it up if we're bored

1.) i remember when quagmire02 told a guy who had a brand new laptop, sealed in the box, who was selling it for half what he paid in order to fund his nephew's cancer treatment that he'd pay four times the asking price and then once he got there and opened it up, set it on fire, and then offered $10...which the guy accepted, while sobbing...and then quag spit in his face

2.) i remember this one time when quagmire02 drove around town in his 1970 gremlin, looking for luxury and exotic cars...when he found one, he'd get as close as possible, then open the door and throw all his weight into it, trying to beat his personal best for the largest ding

what else have we got...it's also more fun if you have some sort of evidence to support your story, but as noted above, it's okay if you just make it up

2/5/2013 10:49:31 AM

3) Ruined some poor woman's life by marrying her.

2/5/2013 10:51:26 AM

^ true story

she was "rescued" from a sex trading ring in NYC...i think she's russian (i don't know because i don't let her speak)

2/5/2013 10:52:40 AM

Mocking someone loses its appeal when they invite it. Pointing out your tales of dickery is much more effective in small doses.

2/5/2013 10:54:58 AM

translation: "shit, i actually don't have anything to hate him for because it seems that i, like others, just exaggerate to feel better about ourselves and/or make shit up because we're bored"

keep 'em coming, kids...i can't wait to find out what i do next!

2/5/2013 10:56:04 AM

4) He sold me smokable cocaine product cut with deworming agent.

2/5/2013 10:57:25 AM

^ actually, that one's about as true as it gets

2/5/2013 10:57:58 AM

Pissing folks off gets you off. There’s really no ambiguity in the vast majority of your posts here; you get a rise out of making comments that ruffle the feathers of the populace. This is good for the site as a whole. Every story needs a good antagonist. Where you falter, and where you really feel miss the chance to have an impact beyond assorted scoffs and guffaws, is that you keep trying to justify your actions. You say “Yeah, I did this, BUT ONLY BECAUSE he did that, etc.” If you would just take a ‘fuck you’ stance with your posts, without giving a caveat for everything you do, your trolling would be much more effective and abrasive.

2/5/2013 11:03:34 AM

^ you make some excellent points...i'll try to come up with some more appalling and offensive things to say and then not justify them

can you give me some examples, though? i really need to learn from my mistakes

2/5/2013 11:06:24 AM

Its as simple as it sounds.

With the laptop: "Fuck that guy. I got a lower price and lawyered the shit out of him. Suck my dick, TWW"

With the car: "Fuck that guy. I dented his shit and let him know not to fuck with the Quag. Suck my dick, TWW"

Follow that template and you'll go places.

2/5/2013 11:08:54 AM

Hell, to name one

2/5/2013 11:10:39 AM

I saw in some thread that you work in that big government building downtown. What do you do there? Do you screw over the public at your job?

2/5/2013 11:16:07 AM

Quote :

"With the laptop: "Fuck that guy. I got a lower price and lawyered the shit out of him. Suck my dick, TWW""

well, i don't want to lose character TOO much...but in my defense, the way it has been presented by all of you is...wrong

you folks made me into the persona YOU wanted by exaggerating and blatantly lying about it (because it supported what you made me in your mind)

Quote :

"With the car: "Fuck that guy. I dented his shit and let him know not to fuck with the Quag. Suck my dick, TWW""

admittedly, the car thing was petty...but given the situation, i'm not ashamed of what i did...i'm betting he pays attention to how he parks in respect to others, now

*shrug*

Quote :

"I saw in some thread that you work in that big government building downtown. What do you do there? Do you screw over the public at your job?"

hah, that was one of several pictures i posted

i do frequently screw over my clients, though, usually by embezzling money

[Edited on February 5, 2013 at 11:20 AM. Reason : .]

2/5/2013 11:18:27 AM

You only become more of a douchebag when you make excuses and try and defend the douchebag things you do.

Good job quag.

2/5/2013 11:21:03 AM

See, you just don't get it. You can't half ass trolling. Have you ever seen face break character? Have you ever seen him apologize? He gets it. Embrace the asshole. We're all someone human at heart, so I realize this can be difficult. But if you really want to make the leap from 'annoying guy on the internet' to 'really annoying guy on the internet', you have to step it up. Basic human traits like dignity and compassion must cease. You have to be stone cold, emotionless, vapid. You have to not care.

2/5/2013 11:22:13 AM

^^ shit, brick, does this mean we're not friends anymore? i keep hoping and hoping that you'll like me and i keep messing it up, don't i? WHATEVER WILL I DO?

so far, i've only "defended" my choice to knowingly and willingly hit the car door of a person parked so close to me that i couldn't get into my car without going over to the other side...it is not "defending" myself to point out that other things aren't actually true

so what else have you guys got? i have to say, i expected better stories...i have this reputation for being such a douchebag, but i'm not seeing much evidence to support it...step up your game and post some links!

^ I'M AFRAID I'LL BECOME THE MONSTER I'VE CREATED, THOUGH

[Edited on February 5, 2013 at 11:24 AM. Reason : .]

2/5/2013 11:23:44 AM

*shrug*

2/5/2013 11:25:38 AM

i knew face when he was a habitat and SPCA volunteer...he was such a good guy, then

2/5/2013 11:26:14 AM

can someone link the car door thread? i must have totally missed this one.

2/5/2013 11:26:15 AM

lol, this is like an intervention. Pretty soon Quagmire is going to be all

2/5/2013 11:26:20 AM

^ it's possible...i tell myself the tears are actually tears of justification, but they're probably just shame and remorse

^^ i don't know which thread it was from, but slave posted it in another thread:

Quote :

"quagmire02 All American 41757 Posts user info edit post a few weeks back, some jackass parked so close to me that i couldn't get into my car except through the passenger side once i got in, i open my driver door as hard as i could and left a nice-sized dent in his '08 or '09 escape (not a luxury car, certainly, but new enough to be pissed about the dent) joker was in the last space of the row...he had PLENTY of room on the other size, so he had this coming 2/20/2009 2:13:08 PM"

[Edited on February 5, 2013 at 11:27 AM. Reason : carats]

2/5/2013 11:27:08 AM

lol, a thread quagmire himself started sarcastically calling himself a douche has turned in to the same old pattern of him legitimately trying to defend his actions...within the first handful of posts.

not enough smilies being used though

2/5/2013 11:28:18 AM

Quote :

"legitimately trying to defend his actions...within the first handful of posts"

reading comprehension fail...please educate yourself on the definition of "defend"

then you can come back to play the game

2/5/2013 11:29:29 AM

Quote :

" i have to say, i expected better stories"

I feel like the craigslist one is the only one that's necessary.

2/5/2013 11:30:10 AM

^ post it...i tried to find it, but couldn't

maybe i'll pwn myself like whoa...but someone with nothing better to do than google and search back through boatloads of pages and threads needs to do it because i don't have time to do much more than respond to each of the quality posts in THIS thread

[Edited on February 5, 2013 at 11:33 AM. Reason : it's out there...but as i haven't been very douchebaggy in several years, you gotta go back a bit]

2/5/2013 11:31:57 AM

quag, i'm gonna need some rolly-eyes or perhaps even the spinning smiley if you really want to get your point across.

also, please die in a fire

2/5/2013 11:32:59 AM

^ someone sounds butthurt that i think so little of his opinions in the lounge

2/5/2013 11:33:43 AM

The Craigslist story was your Illmatic, so it doesn't really matter what you've done ( or haven't done ) since. Classics stand the test of time.

2/5/2013 11:35:45 AM

you must be thinking of someone else, we have never interacted in the lounge...or ever, really

2/5/2013 11:36:26 AM

He's just very douchey in his arguments. I've been on his side in several of these arguments...but he just always ends up going:

"I respect that you don't like cargo shorts...but it's hard for me to understand because I don't spend money on designer clothes...BECAUSE THAT'S STUPID...WHY WOULD YOU SPEND HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS ON SHORTS WHEN YOU COULD SPEND 30 BUCKS ON CARGO SHORTS AND HAVE LOTS OF POCKETS TO CARRY IMPORTANT THINGS IN."


So it's basically what Slave says. He'll say something really douchey, but he'll either make an excuse for it afterwards or try to preface it with something to give himself an out.

2/5/2013 11:38:00 AM

what about that time quagmire02 wanted to rescue an abandoned dog from his neighbors house after it had been neglected for days on end? what a douche!!

2/5/2013 11:39:38 AM

^^^^ i had to google "illmatic"

well, the problem is that the "craiglist story" as you guys remember it isn't correct...just like BobbyDigital's lame-ass attempt to make it sound like i just go pounding away at car doors for fun...you remember things however makes you feel good about yourselves and the truth isn't really important

^^ i maintain that cargo shorts are fucking awesome

^ there you go again, making shit up...what i ACTUALLY said is i wanted to STEAL the dog, cut it into pieces and nail it to all the doors and windows of their house...all because the neighbors didn't say hi to me one evening

[Edited on February 5, 2013 at 11:42 AM. Reason : they take better care of the dog now, after i had an non-douchebaggy chat with them, btw]

2/5/2013 11:40:05 AM

quagmire responds to people calling him a douche like b4c responds to people calling him creepy.

2/5/2013 11:42:45 AM

does that it means it encourages me or it just rolls right off? i see b4c called creepy all the time, but i've never seen him do anything creepy (though i'm sure it's not based on nothing)

2/5/2013 11:44:34 AM

Quote :

"well, the problem is that the "craiglist story" as you guys remember it isn't correct"

I read that thread when it was posted months ago...and the story only gets worse the more you try and explain yourself. I don't know about the car-door stuff....but you come off as a complete dick in the craigslist thread.

2/5/2013 11:44:39 AM

well, i DID try to explain why setting it on fire was justified

i spit on the man out of contempt for his sobbing, though...that was 100% d-bag

2/5/2013 11:51:09 AM

at a time when most TWW users were under age 21 quagmire02 supported the handing out of drinking tickets, and alcohol law enforcement inside and around east village

2/5/2013 12:58:01 PM

fuckin' kids!

only thing worst is when they're on my lawn

2/5/2013 12:59:42 PM

You are a douchebag irl, so that helps with your sociopathic narcissism.

2/5/2013 1:01:09 PM

also true

you know how people show you their true selves when drunk? i show my true self while on tww

tww is my gin-and-tonic

2/5/2013 1:02:19 PM

i need to hear the rest of the craigslist story

2/5/2013 1:03:32 PM

i'll let one of the haters tell it...their version is WAY better than the truth and this thread needs all the entertainment it can get*

*i'd really like to hit at least 2 pages

2/5/2013 1:07:31 PM

here, you can tell it yourself!

http://thewolfweb.com/message_topic.aspx?topic=594220

Quote :

"i recently bought a laptop from some asian guy down in chapel hill he said it was new in the box, still sealed, and he was only asking what he paid for it (which is retarded on craigslist...no one goes to CL to buy something for the same price they could if they bought it new directly from a store or company)...i asked him if i'd be able to open it up and see if it worked before buying it and he said sure so i get there, and he gives me a pair of scissors to break the seal...i take it out, hook it up make sure everything's good...and then i offer him $150 less than his asking price dude throws a holy fit, says i'm dishonest for opening the box when i didn't intend to give him his asking price...he starts bitching about how now he can't return it for his full refund and i'm forcing him to sell it for less i shrug, pull out the cash and tell him to take it or leave it, with the admonition that if you can get your full refund, you should, and not bother wasting peoples' time on craigslist...he says he won't take the money and that i should give him $50 and then leave, to make up for the fact that i opened the box...at this point i actually laugh and tell him to take it or leave it, but i'm going one way or another he actually sells it to me for the $150 less, all the while telling me i'm a bad man, very dishonest i was greatly amused...also, i love my laptop "

Quote :

"i'm doing it again tonight over a camera lens...it's been up almost a month, and he seemed pretty eager when we talked, so i suspect i'll get him down by quite a bit "

2/5/2013 1:09:36 PM

THERE WE GO

i made no promises, i told no lies

that's not the original thread, unfortunately...can you find it? because i further clarified that the shipping label indicated it was past the return date and he actually COULDN'T have returned it for a full refund

in that one, though, FroshKiller (who probably likes me far less than the rest of you) at least supported the fact that only an idiot buys something unopened and that simply opening the item means you're going to pay the asking price is stupid:

Quote :

"Seriously? Y'all motherfuckers think asking if you can look at something means you're about to pay for it? Seriously? Man, let me sell you some boxes."

[Edited on February 5, 2013 at 1:19 PM. Reason : so yeah, there's that]

2/5/2013 1:11:34 PM

seriously, what does your job involve? are you management? do you deal with the public on a daily basis?

2/5/2013 1:11:48 PM

me? no, i don't work with the public at all (or, rather, very rarely)

our customers are almost exclusively corporations under FDA sanction and requiring a third-party consultant (me...well, the company i work for...i'm just a contractor)

2/5/2013 1:14:16 PM

*shrug*

2/5/2013 1:15:05 PM

yeah, that's pretty much my response to...everything

2/5/2013 1:20:21 PM

Quote :

"sociopathic narcissism"

2/5/2013 1:23:10 PM

Just another penny pinching asshole. meh

2/5/2013 7:41:48 PM