Share the cray with your tee dub fam

Quote :

" I love u Andrew "

And a really fun one...

Quote :

"really wanted to reach out.... because...I was very interested in chatting with you..but thankfully we can avoid an obvious outcome.... You see, I can sometimes be very charming and funny. Next thing you know we are talking ALL the time. Your work/sleep schedule might be affected. Then comes the deeper feelings of desire and longing. You'll eventually find yourself aching for the feeling of my hands exploring every part of your body, our lips pressed against each others, every nerve tingling just to feel me near you.... Eventually we are flying off to the middle of the country somewhere, probably Kansas City, just to spend a couple of days with each other. We go out for dinner, both of us making small talk all the time anxiously waiting to get back to the hotel for a night of unparalleled passion. We do things to each other you only read about in steamy romance novels...crazy shit...there may even be monkeys or a midget involved... Two days later we emerge into the light, our bodies delightfully sore and still drenched with the aroma of an unforgettable experience... Then we part, each returning home, unable to wipe the smile from our faces... Friends, family and coworkers notice something different about us but we never tell... But then the longing sets in. We can't focus on anything but each other... We start to make plans, real plans about being together for more than just a weekend of lust and passion, the kind that would be illegal in at least 7 states. But where? which one leaves their comfort zone to be with the other? Do you come to me ...do I leave to be with you? We both know Kansas City is not an option as we are both still wanted for questioning...something about missing zoo animals and a midget who keeps muttering some nonsense about chocolate syrup and a "safe" word....? not to mention a ridiculously large outstanding hotel bill to cover repairs to the bed, 2 walls, a chandelier and the plumbing costs to remove 400 gallons of lime Jello from the bathtub... Finally we decide that the logistics are just too complicated and we tearfully decide that it is best we end our brief but unforgettable relationship before resentment sets in and/or a pelvis gets dislocated....I've seen it happen....trust me...it's not pretty... We find ourselves back on the dating websites, simply going through the motions, wrecked for any other would be suitor. Sure, we go on other dates, but our minds always drift back to K.C..... Did it really happen...could it ever happen again....will they ever find the body.....so many questions. Finally, after several years and several failed attempts to contact each other, it happens...just by chance we run into each other... At first we aren't sure, but then we both notice the unmistakable tattoos. ... Sweet memories come rushing back.... We rush to be in each others arms once again. To feel the warmth of our bodies against each others.....seconds before we embrace, our arms outstretched to receive one another, large heavily armed officers pounce on us, slamming us to the ground and cuffing our arms behind our backs... Dozens of officers from various law enforcement agencies start high fiving each other, one younger recruit bent over behind a patrol car... puking....obviously still traumatized by the haunting images from K.C years ago.... We are booked and thrown into a local detention facility. There is talk of a trial, but the odds of paneling a jury that could endure the photos admitted into evidence is dismissed as "highly unlikely." Eventually we are released into witness protection, something about..for our own safety....apparently the midget was very well "connected" to a local crime family...who knew? We are unable to contact our families, friends, coworkers...anyone from our past. We grow old in our new surroundings, you a manicurist in a small Korean boutique, me as a speech therapist for under privileged teens. We never speak of our past again...to anyone, under the conditions of our release. When we finally pass, very few attend our funerals. we are placed in unmarked graves, forgotten by all....except for that one shadowy figure that visits our plots every year....never says a word..just leaves one curious little token....an empty box of lime Jello...nestled in the soft earth....in between two very very tiny footprints... Or.... we simply say F-it and give it a go.... your call.... "

3/19/2013 9:22:28 PM

unleash the cray cray

3/19/2013 9:34:24 PM

wtf?! 10/10

3/19/2013 9:34:57 PM

Someone Bttt this later. i got one


Im Krallum and I approved this message

3/19/2013 9:36:45 PM

yes, let's go fuck in Kansas City and get tattoos

3/19/2013 9:36:53 PM

are we talking Kansas City, Missouri or Kansas City, Kansas

3/19/2013 9:45:34 PM

your call...

3/19/2013 9:49:18 PM

hang on, I'm going to join a dating site, brb...

3/19/2013 9:52:07 PM

what about from TWW?

3/19/2013 9:52:14 PM

I didn't tell you I love you for you to post it all over TWW

3/20/2013 12:20:47 AM

Poor midget

3/20/2013 12:26:49 AM

sounds like plot of some shitty movie

3/20/2013 8:42:29 AM

You know that shit works on tons of girls...

"OMG Becky...read this! This guy is crazy...I should at least have a drink with him, right??"

3/20/2013 8:48:04 AM

Acraw, posting teedub emails could be hilarious, but dangerous.

^ I'm sure he copy and pasted it from some random site that said women would laugh... and give him a chance. BTW, dude lives in Massachusetts.


Here's MOAR:

Quote :

" keep getting drawn back to you. Maybe it’s yo...I keep getting drawn back to you. Maybe it’s your poise, your elegance, or the warmth you exude with that incredible smile or the fact that you are absolutely stunning. I’m a smile guy BTW. They say you can’t tell a lot from pictures, but I must be drawn to something. I’ve been on here for close to a year now, and your profile is ahead of the rest which I’m sure leads to a lot of competition for me. But so far I haven’t met anyone that suits, or gives me that feeling you get in a room full of people, where no one seems to exist but each other and sparks are flying. I do like your cretive side and that is usually what I am attracted to because isusually leads to a passionate and sensual person. Sounds like you like what you do and that is important to me also. Nothing you said in your profile concerns me at all. In fact, I think you sound like a perfect balance of sugar and spice. I believe a good relationship needs both. I have two beautiful little hearts walking around outside of my body. Two blonde haired blue eyed boys, 3 and 8, that I absolutely adore and so would you. My friends, that are girls, fight over watching them if the need ever arises. I wish I could attach a picture here. As for my ex, we couldn’t have a better deal and understanding that lead to an ideal co-parenting situation. She is happily in a relationship with a female surgeon…yes female. Wow, now you know everything. =) Anyway, I just couldn’t move on without at least saying something as you seem so special. Knowing all of this, I would like to talk and learn more if you are not completely scared off by now. Who knows, we might just become good friends in the end. But I’m confident that you will adore me!! =) I really do have a lot to offer. I come from a good family where my parents have been together for 55 years. You’ll find me a good balance of being a handy guy’s guy/southern gentleman, but would give you all of the attention you desire and deserve. I hope to hear from you whether it’s through email, smoke signals, sky writing or hell here’s my number, call me maybe…;-) "

3/20/2013 9:55:42 AM

i thought you were already in a serious relationship?

3/20/2013 10:06:54 AM

It just blows my mind that guys will do all of this crazy shit to get a girl's attention when all they really have to do is say, "I would like to get to know you better, wanna grab a drink/coffee??"

You might get turned down, but you'd waste a lot less energy/time/embarrassment than pulling shit like that ^^.

3/20/2013 10:27:49 AM

Quote :

"pretty princess i love your eyes, smile and hair.Damn i love everything about you. You are the sunshine and id love to be your guy.Can we talk?"

this one still wins for me

3/20/2013 10:37:06 AM

Quote :

"i thought you were already in a serious relationship?"

checking emails from, and having a profile on, a dating website in a serious relationship is fucked up and not cool

3/20/2013 10:38:37 AM

you left out "to me"

I'm Krallum and I approved this message.

3/20/2013 10:40:37 AM

Quote :

"i thought you were already in a serious relationship? "

We broke up a few weeks ago. Long story. He had some very shady friends... figured that it was an issue of bad judgment.

3/20/2013 10:53:16 AM

oh hai then

3/20/2013 10:58:21 AM

3/20/2013 11:03:33 AM

Quote :

" the plumbing costs to remove 400 gallons of lime Jello from the bathtub... "

that is one huge bathtub.

3/20/2013 11:05:07 AM

second one sounds like a Slave Famous post

3/20/2013 11:07:00 AM

^ totally! haha

3/20/2013 11:13:30 AM

Quote :

"We broke up a few weeks ago. Long story. He had some very shady friends... figured that it was an issue of bad judgment."

Plz explain. I also believe that who you surround yourself with is indicative of your character. But what kinda shit we're talking about here?

3/20/2013 11:14:03 AM

and now you do this, knowing our divorce was just finalized

3/20/2013 11:19:04 AM

^

^^ Basically, his best friend (who owns pawn shops and a strip club, and always has hard drugs on hand) slipped Molly in my drink at Gasparilla Fest. I noticed my drink tasted funny, spit it out and asked the friend what he put in my drink. He laughs and says, "Molly! God, it's no big deal."

When I told the bf the next day, he yelled at me... accused me of lying about his friends. Huge fight. (I told him about it bc the bf had been sooo drunk/crazy at Gasparilla... I wondered if he had been slipped something as well. I wasn't tattling.)

2 weeks later he tells me that, "Oh, yeah. Apparently you were right. I'll make sure he never slips you anything again."

No apology. I ended things right then.


[Edited on March 20, 2013 at 11:22 AM. Reason : h]

3/20/2013 11:19:07 AM

He put a pill in your drink?

I'm Krallum and I approved this message.

3/20/2013 11:21:05 AM

He crushed a pill pretty finely and put it in my drink.

3/20/2013 11:22:27 AM

molly is already in powder form

[Edited on March 20, 2013 at 11:29 AM. Reason : semantics ]

3/20/2013 11:28:38 AM

not all the time

3/20/2013 11:30:09 AM

"usually"

3/20/2013 11:31:47 AM

i'm sweating, woo.

3/20/2013 11:33:01 AM

Yeah I had the most success with messages somewhere between crazy guy up there and what jbrick said although probably closer to what he said. Too short and it looks like a form message sent to everyone. Long like that and you look clingy and psycho. I dont have anything to contribute to this thread as I am not an attractive female haha

3/20/2013 11:37:06 AM

I feel like ONLY psycho girls initiate messages that are longer than "Whats up?"

I'm Krallum and I approved this message.

3/20/2013 11:39:05 AM

I can't even imagine the bullshit girls deal with on dating websites

3/20/2013 11:40:40 AM

...in exchange for not having to be active in any way. I bet if you made a okcupid profile today, put up a picture of a random less than average looking girl, didn't fill out any of the sections and answered like 5 questions you'd get a full range of responses in 24 hours.

I'm Krallum and I approved this message.

3/20/2013 11:43:49 AM

Quote :

" Too short and it looks like a form message sent to everyone."

Yeah...my statement was more along the lines of what you would say in person.

Obviously you have to slightly tailor it with the dating websites (that's my guess...I wouldn't know as I've never done it)...but you gotta get straight to the point and make sure you don't scare them away from the get-go. They see your picture and your profile...so they already know whether they like your or not. You don't need to do anything out of the ordinary.

The only reason I think you should do something like iheart posted above is if you are severely obese or have elephantitus. In that instance, you have to do something to get someone to look past your obvious physical deformities.

3/20/2013 11:44:27 AM

My fiance was only on there for a week or two and half of that didnt have a picture up and I heard some strange stories. I remember someone offering to pour chocolate all over her and lick it off and then one who thought it was a good idea to compare her kid to his dog. She got pretty lucky to meet an awesome guy like me to save her from anything else

3/20/2013 11:45:03 AM

Quote :

"Caroline, Normally I wouldn't skip eHarmony's vaunted "guided communication" but I needed to comment on your Russel T. Davies and Joss Whedon comment. I couldn't agree more, well on Joss Whedon. lol I love Russel T. Davies but I like Steven Moffat just a little bit more, he did "Blink" one of the best Doctor Who episodes (imho) as well as numerous other ones, then there's Coupling, Jekyll and of course Sherlock! While I enjoy the current season of Doctor Who I'm really more a David Tennant fan than Matt Smith. As for Joss Whedon, well he's brilliant. Firefly is...well a work of art. I read somewhere that he called up Nathan Fillion once and said he had a dream that they were making Firefly again, he said it was the best dream ever. I think every artist has like that one thing that surpasses everything else they do, for him I think that's Firefly. Kinda like Shawshank is for Frank Darabont. So that's it! Feel free to respond with a rebuttal on Russel T. Davies or send guided stuff if you want. Take it easy. "

first message was just to argue that SM is better than RTD

3/20/2013 11:50:37 AM

I'm not sure why people would expect anything more from a dating site. You're basically dealing with:

90% of which have not had any success with "natural" dating (i.e. meeting people IRL and going on dates with them)

10% of which are too busy with their careers to meet people, but become corrupted by the horror stories of online dating.

3/20/2013 11:57:47 AM

^^sounds like bhehe dude

[Edited on March 20, 2013 at 11:58 AM. Reason : ^]

3/20/2013 11:58:16 AM

^^ incorrect, you are ignoring the people who have an account and use the mobile apps to find hookups while out (its effective). its not an insignificant percentage.

3/20/2013 12:06:46 PM

iheart, you did the right thing. Most girls are stupid once they get steady dick, and would have probably brushed it off.

3/20/2013 12:15:46 PM

what kind of scumbag slips molly in somebody's drink? should have had him arrested.

3/20/2013 12:17:38 PM

TWW is considered a dating site, right?

3/20/2013 12:17:50 PM

That dude that spiked your drink should have his ass kicked.

3/20/2013 12:23:49 PM

Quote :

"We broke up a few weeks ago. Long story. He had some very shady friends... figured that it was an issue of bad judgment."

so did you get the expensive watch back that you bought for him?

3/20/2013 12:29:30 PM

This chick was all like "set em up!" and I was like "word!!!!"

3/20/2013 12:30:23 PM