I'd like to read some.

Help me out, TWW.

8/12/2013 3:48:48 PM

Steve Crisp of Golo fame:

http://www.ihos.com/steakhouse.html

8/12/2013 3:50:46 PM

I did it one time on a freshman trip to Asheville. It was actually more of a shart. I just threw away my boxers. However this other girl actually shit her pants on a hike in the woods. I still give her shit for that to this day. She has no idea

I'm Krallum and I approved this message.

8/12/2013 3:53:21 PM

Al Roker did it, at the White House no less

http://articles.latimes.com/2013/jan/08/entertainment/la-et-mg-al-roker-pooped-pants

8/12/2013 3:55:17 PM

when i was checking into my hotel last night about 1230 some foreign European looking dude came up and cut in front of me.

asked where the bathroom was, was shown and left.

THEN

the 3 of us still standing there all looked at each other with that DO YOU SMELL THAT look.

it was HORRIBLE. that dude must have really dropped one in his skinny jeans

shitting yourself while wearing skinny jeans must have been the worst. as i was making my way to the elevator he reappeared heading my way.

i was pressing "shut door" so hard i though i was going to break it. luckily shitty pants never made it in time.

8/12/2013 3:57:54 PM

On most elevators made since the mid-90s the shut door button doesn't do anything unless you have the fireman key inserted.

8/12/2013 3:59:16 PM

It happened to "my friend" once. It was pretty hilarious.

8/12/2013 4:12:50 PM

I've got a gem from eighth grade:

[words]

I went to a private school and we had chapel once a week that was very strict and traditional (Episcopalian). We had to file in by grade in a particular order, sit through an hour long service, sermon, then file out in reverse order.

Fifteen minutes or so into the service, I realize that I'm going to have to shit. I get the teacher's attention and ask to be excused for the bathroom, and get denied. I was a class clown and it was not uncommon for me to do this so I could just dick around in the halls since the entire school was at chapel. I waited another 30 minutes just pinching it in as much as I could, and again motioned to that I really needed to go to the bathroom, again to be denied.

Finally the service ends and as I was one of the first to file in, I was also the last to file out. As soon as I got through the door, I ran as fast as I could to the bathroom and right as I'm dropping my pants and turning around the bubble just bursts and I shit all over myself, down my pant legs, everywhere. Nasty watery shit all over my chapel clothes.

Fortunately, there wasn't anyone in the bathroom (I had strategically chosen this one because it wasn't a main bathroom. I cleaned as much shit off of myself as I could with paper towels and then crept like a damn ninja to the front office so I could ask to phone home.

The old lady asked why I needed to phone home and I looked her right in the eye and said "Ms. X, I pooped my pants". She was taken aback, but then realized that 14 year old me was dead serious. She lets me call home and I can only get in touch with my dad and he was skeptical about picking me up until I told him what happened.

I'll never forget the grin on his face when he pulled up with the window rolled down and said "how ya doing champ" laughing his ass off at me the whole ride home.

Nobody ever found out except for the secretary in the front office.

tl;dr - had to shit, but was forced to stay in chapel service for over an hour, shit self, dad mocks me when he picks me up.

8/12/2013 4:16:57 PM

I had food poisoning from some bad mussels right before Christmas last year. I get over it, but my shit was still not fully back to normal for a week.

So I'm laying in bed one morning and let slip one of the half-awake farts. I immediately realize that some poo snuck out with it, so I do a ninja leg swing bed dismount and run to the bathroom. I clean up, put on fresh boxers, put the others in the wash, and get back in bed without waking the gf. It was so ninja. The perfect crime.

The next night we're going to bed and I discover that I'd left a pretty good skid mark on my side of the bed. Confessions were made at that point.

8/12/2013 4:18:34 PM

I did it once (or several times, but on one occasion in particular), while I was outside smoking pot with some people. It was one of those "whoa, I was just trying to fart...mother fucker!" scenarios. I just continued to hit the bowl and hoped no one would smell it. Then we walked the half-mile back to our dorm, and retreated to my dorm-room (thankfully.) I just grabbed some boxers, unobtrusively retreated to the bathroom, wiped my ass and made the switch.

Also, one time when I was a little kid, I shit my pants while wandering around K-mart. Then, as I was walking out, a little piece of poop fell out of my pants and onto the floor of the entry-lobby. I just kept walking and gtfo. I was only about 8, I guess, but I can't say that I'd deal with the matter any differently if it happened today.

8/12/2013 4:22:40 PM

not quite shitting pants story, but a buddy of mine went to a fraternity mixer at The Farmhouse bar (Cantina) and had to shit but there was a huge line for the downstairs bathroom so he went upstairs and shat in the urinal. He got caught by a bouncer and was permabanned from that bar. They just wrapped the urinal in plastic wrap and had an "out of order" sign for the rest of the time the bar was in operation.

8/12/2013 4:27:03 PM

ive chucked three pairs of draws in my life. one was after i graduated from college

the worst is the fear that the shit is gonna start dribbling down your legs and out of your pants for all to see/track behind you.

[Edited on August 12, 2013 at 4:45 PM. Reason : s]

8/12/2013 4:44:09 PM

I shat myself at work once, luckily it was almost time to get off work so I went straight home and did laundry and took a shower.

8/12/2013 4:50:18 PM

a lot of loose butthole itt

8/12/2013 4:52:42 PM

The problem was the bathroom was too far away, and this fucker stopped me to talk to me totally ignoring my "im holding in an explosive shart" facial expression.

8/12/2013 4:55:04 PM

First day of class at NCSU. Driving from my house to school, thought it was a fart...

Stopped in Target, bought some new boxers, made the switch in the bathroom, skipped first class.

8/12/2013 6:38:20 PM

went to Savannah for St. Patricks Day with Johnny Cate (schindlersfist) and drank my ass off all day. Next morning we got up to leave town and drive back to Raleigh. Got caught in completely standstill traffic on the interstate in the middle of a field. Cars were literally stopped, people standing outside talking, no tree, bush, anything within hundreds of yards of the interstate. Stomach started rumbling bad. Really bad, beer shits bad.

Stomach was cramping.

Nowhere to go.





I went to the trunk and got a sock. A tube sock. Everyone near my car saw me go to the trunk and pull out just one sock. They were probably pretty damn curious as to what I was up to...

I hung my head, and got in the backseat of my car. Plan was to balance myself and attempt to shit into a tube sock which isnt the most waterproof of containers.







Right when I was undoing my belt, with kids in cars next to me staring into my car, I notice brake lights disappearing in the distance. Hope springs eternal. Hauled ass to the next exit and shit my ass off.



Not quite a shitting your pants story, but close.

[Edited on August 12, 2013 at 7:46 PM. Reason : d]

8/12/2013 7:31:40 PM

I'm in tears thinking about a grown man trying to shit in a sock...

8/12/2013 7:38:44 PM

Eat at Hibachi Japan and make your own story.

8/12/2013 7:42:01 PM

waiting for callout ITT

8/12/2013 9:37:28 PM

Imagine a time when you've really had to shit. Now imagine if that time was at tailgate and the portajohn lines were just too damn long. What do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO? Well, one thing you won't want to do is follow in the footsteps of lion4russell. It was a day that stands alone in history. A day which will live in infamy.

8/12/2013 9:48:36 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hL4lSavSepc

Embed please!

[Edited on August 12, 2013 at 10:08 PM. Reason : /]

8/12/2013 10:07:10 PM

Quote :

" I'm in tears thinking about a grown man trying to shit in a sock..."

Seriously. Like Dumb and Dumber bathroom scene funny.

8/12/2013 10:37:41 PM

Won the thread hands down

I needed that laugh

8/12/2013 10:40:45 PM

if I'm desperate enough to attempt to shit in a sock I don't think I'd have any chance of making it to an offramp

8/12/2013 10:46:28 PM

Bigman shitting in a tiny soooock [/tommyboy]

8/12/2013 11:09:12 PM

SHITTING IN FLOOR > SHITTING IN A SOCK

8/13/2013 5:28:08 PM