but then when you call them to do said thing they come up with an excuse and back out. These kinds of people really grind my gears. Here are two recent examples..


I've had one guy say to me a dozen times that he wants to play softball and anytime my team needs a sub to call him and he'll play. Needed a sub the past two weeks. Two different excuses. First was yard work, second was errands with his wife. The games last an hour and both were at 6:30, less than two miles from his house.

Second guy wants me to call him anytime i'm going to ride my bike on a certain part of town because he "has a road bike and wants to get back into cycling". I've texted him three times about riding. each time i get a reply about having a bum knee or a long day of work. Both of which i know aren't true because I play ball with him on Wednesday nights.


who else has friends like this?

9/12/2013 11:25:33 AM

other examples i can think of...



"Outdoors guy" who never wants to go camping or hiking

9/12/2013 11:27:29 AM

I've been accused of being this guy, except it makes no sense because I never say I want to do anything.

9/12/2013 11:31:07 AM

We used to have a friend that we would invite over all the time whenever we had parties or would go out with friends. He would always tell us he'd be there but then cancel last minute because he had church in the morning or his mom needed him to come by the house and take care of some stuff.

We eventually realized that he was only telling us half the truth to get out of hanging with us. He had another group of friends who were all BFFs since they went to the same church and did bible group with him. They always planned shit last minute and would ask him to come hang out after he committed to us. So he'd wait until it was too late for us to change plans and cancel.

The shitty thing is, it's not like his bible thumper friends were guilting him into some Friday night prayer-off, they all just hung out and drank together watching some shitty movie for the 8th time. Meanwhile it's not like we were throwing epic keggers with tons of slutty girls and sinful behavior, but we weren't content to just sit in a dark room nursing beer all night.

And the shittiest thing is, we liked his friends. Whenever he'd host an event at his place both groups would end up together, and we usually had a really good time. It just turns out his church friends don't really like us since we didn't go to their church, attend every Sunday and go to weekly bible studies.

We knew it was over when he married a girl in that group. His mom called the shots on 95% of his life before he got married, and now his wife calls the shots.

tldr: an old friend used me and my group of friends as his backup plan every weekend, and cancelled when his A-list friends scheduled something else.

9/12/2013 11:43:45 AM

Invited girl out to a friend's birthday party. Cancelled a few hours earlier, complaining she tweaked her back.

Next day begins a text conversation talking about yard work.

I didn't call her out, it wasn't worth it. Not that close to her, was being nice and just invited her out to network/meet new people.

9/12/2013 11:44:50 AM

are you in raleigh? id love to play some fucking softball dammit

9/12/2013 11:49:56 AM

I hate people like this. Also with this age of text-only conversing it's easy to just fire a flake-out text with zero accountability and go on with better plans.

9/12/2013 11:51:52 AM

Quote :

"who else has "friends" like this?"

FIFY

9/12/2013 12:00:13 PM

Welcome to thirty

9/12/2013 12:14:52 PM

I, too, will play softball any time you need a sub

9/12/2013 12:16:00 PM

Quote :

"Also with this age of text-only conversing it's easy to just fire a flake-out text with zero accountability and go on with better plans"

I, too, love texting

9/12/2013 12:19:02 PM

Quote :

"I'm definitely down for that, definitely!!"

9/12/2013 12:33:23 PM

So do you have so few friends that this actually presents a problem?

Why not institute a three strike rule or something and let them come groveling to you in the future?

9/12/2013 12:51:58 PM

Yo anytime your team needs a sub call me I will play.

9/12/2013 12:57:37 PM

This thread is #girlproblems

9/12/2013 1:02:51 PM

Quote :

"So do you have so few friends that this actually presents a problem?"

no, it's usually never a problem. the softball thing just arose because it was two consecutive weeks.

and i don't have many riding partners in Charlotte, so I was looking forward to not riding solo, oh well.

Quote :

"Why not institute a three strike rule or something and let them come groveling to you in the future?"

oh these guys are definitely on strike 3 for softball sub and bike riding. no mas.

9/12/2013 1:07:07 PM

Where do you ride around Charlotte? Ive thought about getting back into road biking, but moving from the mountains this is obviously a much different scene.

9/12/2013 1:11:37 PM

i live near uptown. most of my riding is around the booty loop and surrounding areas. Queen's college, Plaza Midwood, Myers Park, etc.

9/12/2013 1:19:41 PM

How is riding through the Plaza area? That wouldnt be my first choice

9/12/2013 1:32:31 PM

I too have the 3 strike rule. For some, it's 1 strike.

9/12/2013 1:35:27 PM

i have family members who accuse me of not keeping in touch - but then never respond when i invite them to do anything. that's kind of the same thing.

i also have a co-worker who gets hurt feelings whenever small groups (even just 2 people! or me and no one else from work!) hang out outside of work, even if it's nothing exciting. i make it a point to invite her out (because i generally like her, and i don't want her feeling hurt) but i'd say 75% of the time she backs out. it's gotten to the point where i'll invite her places even when we don't have enough seats/rooms/whatever because i know she'll back out. so that kind of sucks.



[Edited on September 12, 2013 at 1:43 PM. Reason : ]

9/12/2013 1:41:26 PM

^^^it's not too bad. I have no problems riding up The Plaza from Central. But i'll hang a right and ride back roads to avoid riding on the other portion of The Plaza leaving the city. I'll usually cross over to Clemson Ave. if my route is taking me into NoDa. Other than that i'm usually only in PM to make a run down Commonwealth.

if i'm just cruising around i'll avoid Central/Plaza all together and cruise up Thomas St. to stay away from traffic.


^^yeah, that's a little different but I know people like that too. The "formal invite" person who needs to be formally asked to come to something no matter how informal. Or the someone who wants to be invited even though you, they, and everyone else know they won't show up. both of those types are annoying.,/]

9/12/2013 1:44:53 PM

Hey jeepn. I'm down to cycle with you next time I'm in clt. I visit south charlotte though, are there any ok routes to where you go from rea rd/pineville/matthews?

9/12/2013 2:10:15 PM

eh, it'd be a long route but there are plenty of greenways down in that area i'd like to ride.

9/12/2013 2:40:20 PM

I know a guy who hoards beer and always talks about meeting at HRL and sharing his beer, but when I call this guy, he always has to hang out with his wife, or has dog issues or doesn't drink beer anymore.

9/12/2013 6:57:22 PM

My wife and a good friend of ours (we can call her Samanthica) have been trying to plan a night out on the town for a long time. The problem is Samanthica works in the hospitality industry and a Friday or Saturday night off followed by a morning off comes along about once in a blue moon.

Samanthica told my wife she had tonight off several weeks ago and they both planned a girls night out of drinking, dancing, re-enacting scenes from Sex and The City or whatever girls do when they go out. My wife is stoked because very few of her old girlfriends still live in the area and can do nights out, thus its been years since she's been able to go downtown and have a good time.

We have dinner with Samanthica and her husband on Sunday, plans are still good, everything's in order, tonight will be a night to remember.

This morning my wife texts her to find out when they should meet up and where.....no response.
She texts again around lunch....still no response.
She texts her a third time this afternoon, then an hour later gets a response "Hey sorry can't go, husband has to work late and can't find a babysitter"

My wife is irrate, she was really looking forward to this, she even bought a dress specifically for tonight. We also know that:
A) Her husband works every Friday night, they knew he'd be working when they planned this.
B) the no babysitter thing is bullshit. I am already staying home with our kids, so I had volunteered to watch her son while they go out. Our kids get along great together and I've babysat for them lots of times, often in a pinch when unexpected things happen like car's breaking down or grandparents getting sick.
C) Samanthica's bailed on my wife and others before, without ever saying anything, just not showing up while my wife and their other girlfriends were left waiting for her at a whatever venue. They find out later she just stayed home and blamed it on a headache and never thought to let anyone know.

If this was anyone else, we'd just not invite her to shit anymore since she's flaky and sucks at communicating, but her husband is also one of the most important people in our lives. The two of us and him have been best friends since high school and have known each other for 13 or so years.

And the worst part, both of my kids were going to be asleep by 8, leaving me to drink beer and eat pizza on the couch while watching all the gory violent movies on instant watch that I can't watch when everyone else is home. Then my wife would come home around midnight, tipsy, happy and primed.

Now I'm going to have to share my beer, my pizza and compromise on a movie or read a book while she watches Grey's Anatomy reruns.

9/13/2013 4:34:08 PM

I implement the three strike rule also. Works out well. And I make them aware of the rule on strike one.

I am also a flake sometimes. It's easier to let them down easily instead of always saying no. Especially if they include a rowdy redneck brother in law.

9/13/2013 11:55:53 PM

When you live with someone else sometimes it's difficult just to drop shit and go. That being said.... I just drop shit and go a lot.

9/14/2013 12:30:00 AM

Maaaan, I can't even get my people to say they want to do something with me. It may have something to do with the crazy look I get when I have an idea: OMG, YOU KNOW WHAT WE SHOULD DO?!?!?!

My enthusiasm used to work on people, but now they start shaking their heads before I can even finish the pitch.

9/14/2013 12:13:34 PM

"Hey brah I miss training bruh I wanna fight again"
"Yo come to united thai boxing its right by your house u can try a couple free classes"
**months pass, never shows up, see the same dude again**
"Yo bruh man I really wanna train"
FUCK YOU

same to all the fuckers that Inbox me about that kinda stuff on here...never show up!

9/14/2013 7:26:41 PM

[Edited on September 14, 2013 at 7:28 PM. Reason : Odvhv]

9/14/2013 7:27:30 PM

I'll actually be at that place in Chapel Hill starting in October. I'm just in Canada until the end of the month.

9/14/2013 7:31:45 PM

Lol I'm not even talkin about you that was like what last week??

9/14/2013 7:32:39 PM

Yeah, about.

9/14/2013 7:33:09 PM

Y'all have some shitty friends

9/15/2013 8:37:27 AM

I don't normally hang out with people who won't hang out with me.

9/15/2013 9:11:28 AM

Quote :

"I know a guy who hoards beer and always talks about meeting at HRL and sharing his beer, but when I call this guy, he always has to hang out with his wife, or has dog issues or doesn't drink beer anymore."

that guy is insufferable

9/17/2013 8:16:43 AM

dude I never get to "go out" anymore

I'm always too broke

I can only do things that are meticulously planned in advance and require a fairly steep initial investment - this does mean that people will not back out at the last minute

9/17/2013 11:44:06 AM

If I don't hear about plans before 5:00 i'm not fucking participating

9/17/2013 11:46:11 AM

Yeers. I agrees.

9/17/2013 12:27:59 PM

I've been guilty of being 'that friend' before, but I would think everyone has been a time or two. Sometimes you just decide you don't want to go out, or would rather hang with a different group with plans more suited to what you're up for.

9/17/2013 12:50:34 PM

Americans are such pussies when it comes to doing anything related to hobbies. Nobody wants to be 'that guy' that left work early on a Thursday to go kayaking.

9/17/2013 1:08:43 PM

damned responsible Americans

9/17/2013 1:12:25 PM

I was "called out" for being that guy last night. On the way home from work I got a text inviting me to dinner literally 15 mins before the actual event. If I had turned around then and there and gone straight to the restaurant I still would have been 5 mins late. lol.

Flakey people annoy the hell out of me. I especially hate it when it is an event planned like a month ahead of time and you make something on FB about it then invite all the people who said it was awesome. Everyone says "maybe" at first then people start backing out until eventually the only people going are you and the one weird guy nobody wants to hang out with alone.

9/17/2013 1:27:12 PM

yeah, i want to dump some people who did that to me lately. and when we finally met up they brought a guest and ignored me. Guess I'm that weird person that no one wants to hang out with, great.

9/17/2013 1:36:43 PM

There's a big difference between flaking and legitimately not being available when someone asks you to do something if they aren't asking in advance. I'm a planner, so I tend to schedule things out ahead of time. Some of my friends seem to only make plans day-of, so every time they'd invite me to something I'd be busy. (I think this happened with Meg for a long time)

If it's a continued trend or they never invite you to do anything in return, then yeah, they probably suck or don't want to hang out with you.

9/17/2013 1:41:15 PM

Quote :

"I was "called out" for being that guy last night. On the way home from work I got a text inviting me to dinner literally 15 mins before the actual event. If I had turned around then and there and gone straight to the restaurant I still would have been 5 mins late. lol."

yeah but did you spend weeks before the text saying how badly you wanted to go to dinner?

i've got no problem telling people i don't feel like hanging out or am not interested in going somewhere.

but if you spent all night talking about wanting to do something only to back out when it finally presents itself then you'd be "that guy"

9/17/2013 1:41:49 PM

Also, if I make plans at a tentative time, and that time passes, I mentally move on even if I don't have anything else to do. So if we plan for noon, but you call at 1, I've probably called it a day and put on my PJs to watch ABC Family.

9/17/2013 1:44:07 PM