Yea yea, tl;dr. It's so painfully bad I can't help but laugh every time I read it.

A guy I used to work with sent it to me years ago and he just texted me asking if I remembered it. Apparently whoever wrote this amazing piece of modern literature turned this in as a draft for a paper in an intro english class.

Quote :

" The sport of wrestling is like no other the intensity, amount of dedication put into it, and the feeling of victory is enough to make you lose yourself within the sport. Throughout my high school years I had always been one of the top wrestlers and it was my passion. On December of my senior year my school held the conference tournament. But you would find me there because I was no longer on the team. As the summer was coming to a end most people were dreading going back to school but I was ready. It was my senior year and I had high hopes for this years wrestling season. It was months away still but I had already started training. Waking up at six in the morning to go for a run, running to and from work, and lifting at the gym regularly where some ways I prepared myself for the upcoming season over the summer. More than anything I had every wanted in my life I wanted to be a state champion. I started out the school year as I always did I excelled in everything for the most part, but my mind was mostly on the starting of the season. I did not have much of a social life because I spend all my time with school work, sports, and working. But I was so wrapped up in being successful that nothing else seemed to matter. As the season came closer I became restless and everyday I thought of how I could succeed and how this was my year. When the season started up I was so excited and I was off to a great start. As I’m walking in my coach says “are you ready for this year“ I said “yeah coach this is going to be my year.” Me and my coach did not always agree and I he use move me all around and make me wrestle way heavier than I was suppose to which annoyed me. After one match although I won I felt shoulder pain after getting off the mat. I told my coach that I did not want to injury my shoulder and since the next match we were almost guaranteed a win if I could sit out. He turns to the other coach and says “Phil do you have a extra tampon for Jonathan.” I said “I don’t want to risk hurting my shoulder for the rest of the season and we have already won this match“. He turned around and walked away. That is were everything started to go downhill. I was doing awesome, but as the season went on my coach never left me alone always talking about me in some way. As the season progressed I was losing respect for him fast. Then one day my best friend who also wrestled called me “ hey Jonathan my little brother is suck at school and my mom still at work can we get him before practice.“ I agreed but because it was so short notice that I showed up late to practice. Despite the fact that both coaches showed up late the day before and I had to run the first part of practice when I got there he was infuriated. He over reacted making us run for almost a hour (which I did not mind) but he was yelling things like “Tomorrow you wont see me in your coaches chair then we well see who the fool is“ and “I going to win this game not you cant just do whatever you want“. Eventually I got angry and at the end of practice he was still yelling so I just said “well if your got going to be my coach then I wont be at the tournament tomorrow to be made a fool of.” he said “well then it was nice knowing you.” As soon as I left the room I realize what I had done and was devastated by my decision. When I got home I almost began to cry but I figured I would show up tomorrow and see if I could sort it out. When I got there he refused to speak to me and left with out saying a word to me. For the next week I tried coming to practice and calling him determined that I could not let my dreams slip away. After many failed attempt I began to realize that I had to let it go. But letting it go was like letting part of me go. I had been wrapped up in it so long that I let my identity fall into wrestling I was no longer myself but just a wrestler. Wrestling was one of the biggest parts of my life and for so long and when it left me it was as if a part of my heart left with it. We I told people I was no longer on the team they did not believe me. I was a wrestler and when people asked me to describe myself one of the first things I would tell them was that I wrestled . Accepting the fact that I was no longer a wrestler was as difficult accepting the fact that I am no longer the same person. I was miserable trying to figure out who I was now. I began to realize that I was Jonathan Langlois and was way more than just some wrestler. I had always been shy and realized that now I had to come out of this shell I was in and show people my true personality because now it was all I had. Throughout my earlier years I was kind of a quiet guy never really talked a lot. I relied on wrestling so much to define myself I had almost forgetting how to be myself. I began to open up and become more social but as I progressed I began to realize that who I am is so much different than the person I used to be. Being quiet and putting all my time into school and sports had just been a way creating wall to hide behind. I did more thinking than I had ever done I was starting to realize that for a long time I had been hiding who I was and I was just beginning to understand why. As a child I had been let down a lot by my parents and a lot of the people I interacted with. I guess I grew up learning how to do things for myself and not rely on other people. My would parents tell me one thing but they did the other confusing me and making me not trust other people The way I was raise contributed to a lot of the reasons why I had put up so many walls. I put these walls up to avoid all the pain that I received and as a kid I unknowingly created these walls that made the thing more acceptable. Having these blocks in my mind made me less social but it made me more susceptible to get lost in things I did. I threw myself into wrestling and just made it the only thing that mattered. It put me in my own world and created my own sense of happiness. As my senior year progressed it was like a wrecking crew had came into my mind and began knocking all these walls down. Since I no longer had wrestling to fall back on I had show myself in other ways. I no longer could stay quiet in class I had to be something else. I knew that the only thing I could do now was to show everyone that I was more than just a wrestler and that I was I my own unique person. I opened up to one of my friends who became my first best friend I ever had. We use to just talk for hours something I had never really done before. I went from being quiet and reserved to being extremely outgoing. I began to go out on weekends and not just stay at home. My social life went from basically nothing to being full of life. I was invited to parties and even to simple things like small get togethers. I was happier than I have ever been and for the first time I allowed myself to have friends. There was not a day that went by that I did not talk to my friends. I felt like I was bigger than I had ever been. I become know as a outgoing and energetic person. I was almost the complete opposite of who I had been before. I no longer let myself cower out of social situations because I felt like I need them. With wrestling people respected me for my skills but now everything was different they actually liked me. I was no longer afraid to speak my mind in class. I felt better than I ever had during wrestling I was no longer just another wrestler I was myself. Although some people still looked at me as my old self I new I had changed and I felt invisible. On June 11th 2009 my high school graduation took place. I heard it was lots of fun but you would not have found me their because I was in myrtle beach attending lifeguard school so I could have a summer job. I felt like a new person and wanted to experience something different. Once getting out there I realized how much different it was than I expected. But I had one of the best summers of my life. I took everything I learned from this experience with me and it has helped me more than I could have every imaged. Yeah getting kicked of the team seemed like it only had negative effects on my at first but in the end it made my realize who I really was. Despite how people say you will regret quitting a sport your senior year I know I never will because it helped make me who I am. "

9/23/2013 8:44:58 PM

Bold something, niggaaaah.

9/23/2013 8:45:50 PM

The entire thing has to be read. There's no need to bold everything

9/23/2013 8:47:14 PM

can we at least get a summary?

9/23/2013 8:47:22 PM

NO GOD DAMMIT.

9/23/2013 8:47:42 PM

how about a brief synopsis?

9/23/2013 8:48:42 PM

After I eat I'll consider it

Basically it's just a kid complaining about his wrestling coach being a dick, but most of it doesn't make sense because the grammar is so terrible. That's the best part.

It's like a retarded 8 year old wrote it.

[Edited on September 23, 2013 at 8:51 PM. Reason : ]

9/23/2013 8:50:09 PM

So yeah. Not going to read it.

9/23/2013 9:04:24 PM

you people

and by that i mean faggots

9/23/2013 9:05:18 PM

Cunt punt was better

9/23/2013 9:06:14 PM

/care

9/23/2013 9:09:58 PM

I read it. It's nothing special.

9/23/2013 9:25:13 PM

9/23/2013 9:29:06 PM

pretty good, actually....it ain't terribly well-written, but it held my attention and touched me just a little bit.

9/23/2013 9:33:51 PM

9/23/2013 9:38:13 PM

I like this story better.

Quote :

"John Stalvern waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were demons in the base. He didn’t see them, but had expected them now for years. His warnings to Cernel Joson were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway. John was a space marine for fourteen years. When he was young he watched the spaceships and he said to dad “I want to be on the ships daddy.” Dad said “No! You will BE KILL BY DEMONS” There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the space station base of the UAC he knew there were demons. “This is Joson” the radio crackered. “You must fight the demons!” So John gotted his palsma rifle and blew up the wall. “HE GOING TO KILL US” said the demons “I will shoot at him” said the cyberdemon and he fired the rocket missiles. John plasmaed at him and tried to blew him up. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to kill. “No! I must kill the demons” he shouted The radio said “No, John. You are the demons” And then John was a zombie."

9/23/2013 10:55:47 PM