What was the worst thing you were caught doing by your parents when you were growing up? How old were you? What was your punishment?


Nosy EMCE is nosy.

10/28/2013 9:39:31 AM

the answer to this question for 100% of the males, regardless of what they actually say, is spankin it

10/28/2013 9:41:26 AM

caught watching porn

caught smoking weed

caught tripping mushrooms


i think that's about it.

10/28/2013 9:45:34 AM

caught watching porn when i was about 13 or so. no real punishment except for a stern talking to

got caught twice having sex with my gf when i was 16. no real punishment either time except for an even sterner talking to and my mother hating that gf from then on for taking her baby's virginity.

that was punishment enough

10/28/2013 9:49:38 AM

Caught drinking in middle school. Out of my keepsake baby cup.

My step sister and I swiped a bottle of crown from the back of the pantry and tried to be bad asses. It was awful. And my mom came in and took one look and sniff. She knew what was up. I didn't actually get punished though. Just raked over the coals.

10/28/2013 9:52:46 AM

When I was like eight, I found a quarter on the dresser in my parents room. Then I saw another few coins on the dresser. I reasoned that the drawers were all probably full of all sorts of coins that my parents had lost. I'd pulled out most of the drawers and rifled their contents when my Dad walked in. He was...not happy . I got my ass beat and learned not to mess with their stuff.

10/28/2013 9:53:36 AM

I "stole" $5 (they say I stole, but really, finders keepers losers weepers) and went to the candy store and bought a shitload of candy and hid it in my room. They found my stash (finders keepers backfiring ) and wouldn't let me have any. They ended up giving out the candy to my siblings every day until the bag was empty


I was 6.

10/28/2013 9:54:48 AM

That's lame. I knew what was in every single drawer in my house.

10/28/2013 9:55:17 AM

I never got caught doing anything by my parents. I was pretty good at getting away with shit. But I got caught playing mailbox baseball by the police when I was 16. That phone call to my Dad and the subsequent ride home from the police station was pretty brutal.

10/28/2013 10:11:10 AM

probably tripping a kid at church. i still don't know why i did that

ain't nothing wrong with porn or fuckin so i'm not mentioning those

and i didn't do drugs until college

10/28/2013 10:14:40 AM

American Pie is a good series of movie.

10/28/2013 10:17:13 AM

Actually, I did skip an entire month of school my senior year in HS. Again, my parents didn't catch me, the Principal did. But I got a pretty good ass whipping for that one too. I'm still not sure how I figured I would get away with that one.

10/28/2013 10:17:54 AM

Nothing too bad. Porn was probably the worst thing. Also my mom found a lighter in my pants pocket when doing laundry. Got a stern talking to about the dangers of smoking. That's pretty much it.

10/28/2013 10:39:11 AM

i used to have 5-6 nice glass bowls but only kept one with me in college. I came home one weekend and realized my mom had gone through my closets and tossed a bunch of stuff out, including all but one of my pieces. I'm still mad at her about that even though I don't even smoke anymore. it's the principle!

10/28/2013 10:51:57 AM

I had a little klepto streak in middle school. Mom found my treasure box. Stupid stuff like hair clips, nail polish, and other junk. She was mad but not irate. I didn't steal from stores, just stuff I found around the house. I lost the door to my bedroom for a month so I couldn't hide anything or do anything sneaky.

10/28/2013 10:55:39 AM

my mom and dad were so different when it came to punishment. unless it was something my mom was really on me about. But if my dad said I was grounded and had to come home immediately after school my mom would let me go out until my dad got home at 6.

10/28/2013 10:58:13 AM

why do you think only Males masturbate, Forte? The only girls that "don't" masturbate are the ones that don't know how or don't realize that's what they're doing.

10/28/2013 11:06:47 AM

pulled a fire alarm in a museum and everyone ran out screaming...

10/28/2013 11:18:10 AM

I totally got caught masturbating in the shower but that wasn't like bad or trouble or anything. Just embarrassing.

[Edited on October 28, 2013 at 11:20 AM. Reason : .]

10/28/2013 11:19:02 AM

cutting myself with a razor when i was a teenager, smoking pot in my room when i was 19, though i claimed it was a cigarette, and one time the dog fished a rubber out of the trash can when i was home from college with my boyfriend, and i swear my dad stepped on it. no confrontation about that one, though. I guess I'd already had it when my dad found a pregnancy test (from a twin pack, sigh) in my car like 2 years after I used the other one. I didn't have the heart to tell him that i hadn't even had sex then, i was just dating a psychopath who made me take it.

10/28/2013 12:12:55 PM

caught drinking Jack Daniels when I was 5

10/28/2013 12:42:42 PM

depends on which parent of mine you ask

my mother - all the drinking and sex in HS I'm guessing

my father - dressing my younger brother in a tutu when he was 2 yo

10/28/2013 12:48:55 PM

Just curious, how do you get caught in the shower? Do they just randomly come in to the bathroom and open the curtain on you? Or was it one of those see through showers?

10/28/2013 1:01:41 PM

Shoplifting a metal compilation cassette with Metallica, Anthrax and others on it when I was 8. God, I have always been a badass. Mom didn't tell dad or I would have been killed.

10/28/2013 1:03:28 PM

Glass shower doors. I was raised in a house where doors were never locked and no one thought twice about just barging in -- at least not until my brother and I were in high school. And I was probably in middle school when my mom caught me at it in the shower. All she said was that I might not want to hold the shower head against my skin like that. I thought I would die of mortification, but mom just took it in stride like most things.

10/28/2013 1:35:08 PM

dweedle once got caught by his mom. Late 90’s, came home from school before she got home and decided to fire up some Jewel De’nyle. Pants down, feet up, 3 squirts of lube, and he gets busy. As he reaches the point of no return, unbeknownst to him, his mother’s car pulls up in the driveway. His strokes reach a fever pitch as he gets to the very brink of his impending eruption. Faster and faster he jerks, the lube and precum working itself into a froth as he reaches the breaking point. His eyes close, his cheeks clench, and he lets out a roar at the very moment he hears the lock turn and the door open. He feels his balls tighten as the first milky white volley arcs high in the air, a perfect parabola. His mother enters, locks eyes, then sees the rouge cum rocket reach its vortex and slowly begin its descent. Her mouth agape, she tracks thru the air, audibly gasping as it splatters with a thundering crescendo on the linoleum below. Dweedle continues to pump out rope after gushing rope until he is completely spent, his thighs and torso saturated with a thick coat of nut. After what seems like an eternity, he turns toward his mother with a mischievous grin and says “Am I crazy, or is that a lot of cum?” to which is mother, finally snapping back to reality, responds “That’s a lot of cum!”

10/28/2013 2:19:48 PM

I got caught all the damn time. Two funnier instances:

My girlfriend and I would go back to my place every day after school to have sex and my dad worked about a mile up the road and owned the company so he would fucking RACE home every day and screech up really fast in the driveway and run up the stairs to try to catch us and yell at me.
Our townhouse backed up to Ravenscroft so there was a big barbed wire fence that runs for a few miles. I found a gap where a tree had fallen on it (hurricane) and set up a tent about half a mile deep into the Ravenscroft woods and so my gf and I could go back there and have sex.
One day I come home and my tent is sitting on the porch and my dad was like "I FOUND YOUR FUCK TENT IN THE WOODS". motherfucker walked half a mile down the fence and another half mile into the woods to find it (you couldn't see it from the fenceline).

Senior year my friend's parents were hardly ever in town so he'd have people over all the time so I usually spent my weekends there. I came home on Sunday morning and my dad is standing in the front hallway and grins at me and says "had a rough night, champ?" and I was like "what are you talking about we just watched movies at Matt's". I go into the bathroom, piss, and go to wash my hands and there are cocks drawn all over my face. Don't fall asleep with your shoes on or you get shamed.

10/28/2013 4:54:38 PM

^ lol

Me and a friend tried to do the "you tell your parents I'm staying with you and vice versa" trick. It didn't work and they caught us drinking and hanging out with older guys. I was grounded, but the real punishment was the disappointment I caused her. After that I quit drinking for a few years months.

My brother caught me and my boyfriend having sex multiple times. Pretty sure I would rather it have been my Mom than him.

10/28/2013 5:54:10 PM

Quote :

"One day I come home and my tent is sitting on the porch and my dad was like "I FOUND YOUR FUCK TENT IN THE WOODS". motherfucker walked half a mile down the fence and another half mile into the woods to find it (you couldn't see it from the fenceline). "

hahhahahahahhahahahahahha

10/28/2013 6:16:33 PM

WOODLAND

FUCK

TENT

10/28/2013 7:17:03 PM

bwahaha

10/28/2013 7:21:28 PM

lolol

10/28/2013 9:18:34 PM

Not that's a classy broad, right there.

10/28/2013 9:23:08 PM

OMG, I wanna have kids just so I can find their fuck tents.

10/28/2013 11:41:04 PM

I want to hear more about this fuck tent. I'm considering making a purchase soon...

11/20/2013 2:02:04 PM

^^ If you were any good at finding fuck tents you'd already have kids.

11/20/2013 2:34:38 PM

also there was this chick that always was sweating my D back in the day. she said i could feel her tits if i sent her a pic of my D. I took said pic of my D and sent it to her but never took it off of the computer screen. Go to school the next day and my Mom got on the computer as soon as I left to find a picture of my hard D right there. That was way awkward and embarrassing. I was like 14 and got grounded from the computer for a long long time.

11/20/2013 2:48:47 PM

Should have just said it was a pic of someone else's dick.

11/20/2013 3:02:35 PM

haha my face was in the background . cant believe i didnt close it out.


couldnt even pull an anita flick and claim photoshop

[Edited on November 20, 2013 at 3:04 PM. Reason : .]

11/20/2013 3:03:40 PM

Parents go on a business retreat to Vegas for a weekend and I throw the biggest party my shitty little town has ever seen. My sister comes back from college for the weekend and helps me clean up the ridiculous mess it caused. We somehow get the house spotless. I leave for school on Monday (parents haven't come back yet) and my sister leaves later that day. Unfortunately, she left me a note that mentioned a few stains she couldn't get out. Luckily my mom got in the house first, found the note, and hid it from my stepdad. She laid into me, but saved me a beating of epic proportions from my dickhead stepfather.

Only other thing was more embarrassing for my girlfriend at the time than myself. My gf thought she lost her earring and her and my mom were searching in the living room for it while I was taking a nap upstairs. My mom lifts up the couch cushion and finds an opened condom wrapper (we had fucked on the couch the day before and I couldn't find that fucking wrapper to save my life). She didn't say anything...just held it there while my gf stared straight at her with her mouth open. Mom throws it in the trash, gf walks up to my room and can't look my mom in the eyes for a couple weeks.

That's about it I think.

[Edited on November 20, 2013 at 3:08 PM. Reason : .]

11/20/2013 3:08:15 PM

They caught me fooling around with my boyfriend once. They didn't walk in, but knocked on the door and it took me a bit to open it. They didn't say anything at the time, but my mom brought it up the next day to tell me to leave the door open if he was over.

11/20/2013 3:10:03 PM

^my mom always had a 'door open' policy when I had opposite-sex guests over.

my dad, however, always seemed to vanish

(divorced parents, separate households)

11/20/2013 3:16:33 PM

i snuck a playboy subscription stamp onto a publishers clearing house sweepstakes thing (as a joke), and it actually got mailed. So I started getting playboy... in my mom's name

11/20/2013 3:17:41 PM

They didn't really care most of the time. They let him spend the night. So I was kind of confused by that.

11/20/2013 3:19:02 PM

Quote :

""I FOUND YOUR FUCK TENT IN THE WOODS""

Pure Gold right there. Made my day reading this thread.

11/20/2013 3:25:57 PM

That is a bit confusing...

My mom to this day won't let a girl stay with me when I/we go visit... Hell even her best friend from college would come visit (recently) with her fiance and they had separate rooms.

Never tested it with my dad but back in the day I'm pretty sure the answer would have been "no". Doubt it would be an issue now, but with the impressionable-aged stepsister who knows.

11/20/2013 3:30:27 PM

I never really got caught doing anything...though I'm pretty sure my parents more than suspected some of the shit I got into and just never said anything.

11/20/2013 3:57:52 PM