I drove to work early this morning, and parked in the parking garage just like I normally do. Its still dark out when I get there, and its not made any better by the fact that one of the hanginging lights is busted.
Anyway, I get out of my car, and start walking towards the garage exit. Right as I'm about to walk through the door, I hear this guy moaning. I turn around and he's kind of leaning on this car, hunched over a bit. I asked if he was ok.... No answer. I asked again, and walked up to him. By this time, I can see the guy looks a little sick...pale skin....sunken eyes. One more time, I ask if he's ok, and tell him there's a security gaurd inside that I can get to help.
Then the Asshole lunges at me . I hold him at a distance with my hands, and in the struggle, he loses his footing on a slick spot on the ground I guess. I think he was trying to rob me, but luckily I fought him off. He didn't get back up, or at least did so slowly. I wasn't going to stick around to find out.

Anyway, I told the security gaurd about it on my way into the building. Later on, at my desk, I noticed that Asshole in the garage must have scraped or bit me, cause there is a small scratch on my arm. I didn't feel the scratch, and only noticed because hours later, its still bleeding. I'm starting to feel a little light headed now, so I think I'm going to go home in a few mjnutes. Anyway.... Crazy shit...

2/10/2014 2:08:32 PM

you gonna turn into a vampire, brah

2/10/2014 2:09:49 PM

Good night, Sweet Price



[Edited on February 10, 2014 at 2:12 PM. Reason : d]

2/10/2014 2:11:42 PM

So begins the Zombie Apocalypse!! Quick someone stab him in the head!

2/10/2014 2:20:43 PM

But srsly, was he hot as fuck?

2/10/2014 2:21:59 PM

Did anyone else skip to the end to check for "Yo holmes to Bel-Air!"

2/10/2014 2:28:53 PM

Might want to go get a tetanus (sp?) booster. No telling what was under those fingernails. Or worse, if he bit you somehow.

2/10/2014 2:30:27 PM

E-dog

2/10/2014 2:32:16 PM

Large, Dark Complexion Male Attacks a Homeless Man. Hate Crime? More at 11..... http://www.wral.com/news/local/

2/10/2014 2:34:06 PM

It was definitely a Zombie.


Everyone I know you love EMCE but he was bitten by a zombie and now we must kill him.

2/10/2014 3:12:44 PM

What the heck

Glad you're (mostly) OK!

[Edited on February 10, 2014 at 3:44 PM. Reason : If this is true. Never can tell with you.]

2/10/2014 3:44:30 PM

I hope we all learned a lesson here.

2/10/2014 7:15:29 PM

Ugh

I don't know what's going on. I took a nap when I got home, and when I woke up, my back was all stiff. Same with my shoulders. I have this buzzing in my head that won't go away, but whatever. I might be coming down with a cold, maybe

I'm freaking starving, but I can't keep any food down. I'm taking it easy with water and crackers now, but... It's not really cutting it. Still hungry.

2/10/2014 7:30:36 PM

before I got jacked I was on the same track

2/10/2014 8:09:51 PM

hey EMCE don't come to Alexandria, k

2/10/2014 8:12:37 PM

that man was me emce, btw

2/10/2014 8:14:38 PM

I'm guessing you're stiff/sore from the fight to keep that guy from doing whatever he was going to do (pain), you are extremely anxious from what happened this morning whether you realize it or not (enough that eating sucks), and that big surge in adrenaline you had followed by all that nothing knocked your system out of whack and you'll feel better tomorrow.

Have a showerbeer then go hang out with some friends and get your mind off of zombie man.

2/10/2014 8:53:02 PM

Quote :

"I took a nap when I got home"

You came.

Quote :

"and when I woke up, my back was all stiff."

You came after being raped. It's common. I guess.

Quote :

" Same with my shoulders."

He rode you like a shetland pony. Then you came.

Quote :

" I have this buzzing in my head that won't go away"

Semen in the ear. Use alcohol and a cotton swab

Quote :

" but whatever. I might be coming down with a cold"

Quote :

"I'm freaking starving"

...for some homeless ding dong

Quote :

"but I can't keep any food down"

...due to the liters of semen deposited in my ears and stomach...

Quote :

"I'm taking it easy with water and crackers now"

...because my fluid retention isn't really an issue. Plus, when I tilt my head to the side, this tasty cracker topping oozes out of my ear, so all I have to do is hold the cracker to my ear and...

Quote :

" but... It's not really cutting it. Still hungry."

Diagnosis: You're a dong zombie.

[Edited on February 10, 2014 at 9:09 PM. Reason : :0]

[Edited on February 10, 2014 at 9:10 PM. Reason : :0]

2/10/2014 9:06:58 PM

Hahaha. You called him gay. Well played, sir.

2/10/2014 9:10:09 PM

I did?

2/10/2014 9:11:58 PM

Exclusive WRAL video of the attack

2/10/2014 9:24:07 PM

Quote :

"I don't know what's going on. I took a nap when I got home, and when I woke up, my back was all stiff. Same with my shoulders. I have this buzzing in my head that won't go away, but whatever. I might be coming down with a cold, maybe I'm freaking starving, but I can't keep any food down. I'm taking it easy with water and crackers now, but... It's not really cutting it. Still hungry."

Zombie

2/10/2014 9:57:23 PM

Quote :

"HANG ING ING"

2/10/2014 10:04:22 PM

^ha

2/11/2014 6:42:31 AM

fever

Still hungry, but cant eat

Stay home today and rest

2/11/2014 6:49:23 AM

I can help all you guys, I know how to find the cure, but you all must protect me at all costs no matter what...


.....profit......



nah, I'm just a high school science teacher with no survival skills, but thanks for laying down your lives for me these past few years.

2/11/2014 10:24:00 AM

Eye infected and red

Dog keeps growling and barking at me.

Hungry

2/11/2014 12:24:10 PM

Zombies do not eat, unless they are biting other humans

2/11/2014 12:25:06 PM

Anyone live close to EMCE? Time to barricade him in his home to prevent outbreak.

2/11/2014 12:30:48 PM

omg

2/11/2014 12:35:03 PM

2/11/2014 1:52:27 PM

2/11/2014 3:18:21 PM

can Zombies walk on ice?

2/11/2014 4:01:55 PM

May 9, 1998

At night, we played poker with Scott the guard, Alias and Steve the researcher.

Steve was very lucky, but I think he was cheating. What a scumbag.


May 10th 1998

Today, a high ranking researcher asked me to take care of a new monster. It looks like a gorilla without any skin. They told me to feed them live food. When I threw in a pig, they were playing with it... tearing off the pig's legs and pulling out the guts before they actually ate it.


May 11th 1998

Around 5 o'clock this morning, Scott came in and woke me up suddenly. He was wearing a protective suit that looks like a space suit. He told me to put one on as well. I heard there was an accident in the basement lab. It's no wonder, those researchers never rest, even at night.


May 12th 1998

I've been wearing this annoying space suit since yesterday, my skin grows musty and feels very itchy. By way of revenge, I didn't feed those dogs today. Now I feel better.


May 13th 1998

I went to the medical room because my back is all swollen and feels itchy. They put a big bandage on my back and the doctor told me I did not need to wear the space suit any more. I guess I can sleep well tonight.


May 14th 1998

When I woke up this morning, I found another blister on my foot. It was annoying and I ended up dragging my foot as I went to the dog's pen. They have been quiet since morning, which is very unusual. I found that some of them had escaped. I'll be in real trouble if the higher-ups find out.


May 15th 1998

Even though I didn't feel well, I decided to go see Nancy. It's my first day off in a long time but I was stopped by the guard on the way out. They say the company has ordered that no one leave the grounds. I can't even make a phone call. What kind of joke is this?!


May 16th 1998

I heard a researcher who tried to escape from this mansion was shot last night. My entire body feels burning and itchy at night. When I was scratching the swelling on my arms, a lump of rotten flesh dropped off. What the hell is happening to me?


May 19, 1998

Fever gone but itchy. Hungry and eat doggy food. Itchy Itchy Scott came. Ugly face so killed him. Tasty.

4.
Itchy.
Tasty.

2/11/2014 4:19:08 PM

Feel empty

Having trouble memory

Hungryhungry

2/11/2014 8:48:51 PM

2/11/2014 10:36:01 PM

Errr, we have a real problem here guys.

EMCE doesn't look so good. He keeps groaning, and trying to bite me. I lured him out on the back porch and locked him out there

2/13/2014 5:35:24 PM

cocaine is a hell of a drug

2/13/2014 7:09:18 PM

EMCE got in the krocodil again

2/13/2014 7:22:42 PM