You've heard of Bitcoin, the cryptocurrency that's taking the world by storm. This is your chance to get in on the ground floor of laftacoin, the world's first trollocurrency.

The way it works is simple: lafta has owed me a principal amount of $5.00 for four years (message_topic.aspx?topic=597447), and the juice has been running. While I've never made a serious attempt to collect, I have taken some small pleasure in demanding that he pay up every time I catch him posting in a thread.

Others have followed suit, and from this well has sprung the idea of a digital currency with hardly any real value outside of pure speculation.

How it works: Whenever you see lafta post, reply with a vitriolic demand that he pay me my fucking money and include a link to the original thread (above). If you are the first to reply in this way in that thread, congratulations, you have just earned one laftacoin. Second is worth half, and third is worth a quarter.

This scheme makes laftacoin earnings public and completely verifiable through your posting history as well as limiting the potential for general annoyance due to repeated exhortations in every thread.

What's your advantage? One laftacoin buys you one guaranteed flame from FroshKiller to be deployed in the thread of your choosing against the poster of your choosing, although I reserve the right to determine the content. To cash in, simply PM me with a link to the thread and the username of the poster you'd like me to bash, and link to the post(s) that earned your laftacoin balance that you'd like to exchange.

In addition, I will also from time to time offer arbitrary services for an arbitrary amount of laftacoins.

Now, all that sounds pretty lame, but here's your chance to really cash out on this. Should lafta ever settle his debt with me, I will see to it that all holders of laftacoins receive a share of that settlement in line with their proportion of the total number of laftacoins in circulation on that date.

For example, should lafta agree to pay $100.00 on July 4, 2014 and 13 laftacoins have been generated by that date, someone with a balance of 2 lafta coins would be entitled to $15.38. This encourages lafta to settle quickly and for you to post frequently.

Thank you for your cooperation.

[Edited on July 1, 2014 at 11:13 AM. Reason : P.S. I realize he hasn't posted under lafta since October. Hint hint.]

7/1/2014 11:10:15 AM

Pay up, laftadick

7/1/2014 11:25:38 AM

wow, such troll, very currency, much lafta

7/1/2014 12:18:28 PM

So who will be the first few people to collect enough lafta coins to pay FroshKiller to have a giant flamewar with himself?

7/1/2014 12:29:44 PM

Check here to see if you have any you can redeem

7/1/2014 12:36:55 PM

It's $5.46 now if you account for inflation

7/1/2014 2:52:04 PM

You realize the total number of laftacoin will always be less than 2 in your implementation, right?

7/1/2014 4:06:51 PM

Why don't you show your work so all the cute girls can laugh at you?

7/1/2014 4:23:08 PM

ZOMG HACKED INBOX BETTER SUSPEND DWEEDLE

7/1/2014 4:51:08 PM

Quote :

"from this well has sprung the idea of a digital currency with hardly any real value outside of pure speculation."

so basically just like every other cryptocurrency, AM I RITE?

7/1/2014 5:48:11 PM

^^^^ its every time lafta posts, which currently is not at all so current max laftacoins is zero.

7/1/2014 5:53:25 PM

Each lafta post is theoretically worth two coins

7/1/2014 8:00:55 PM

^ how do you figure that?

Also, this is funny to me.

7/1/2014 8:37:20 PM

7/1/2014 8:52:10 PM

He never said that we're taking the limit as posts approach infinity. He said that there are credits for the first 3.

7/1/2014 8:54:37 PM

7/1/2014 8:56:03 PM

I still remember when this fool thought you could rent a Redbox movie and keep it forever for just $1

7/1/2014 10:58:32 PM

its absurd how much time i have wasted legitimately contemplating whether or not lafta was trolling

because, on the one hand, some of the threads are just so absurd that there simply must be some sort of design - yet they also make me acknowledge the potential depth of stupidity in humanity.

honestly, it gets kind of dark sometimes.

7/2/2014 12:29:52 AM