The poop at work was going very well. I feel the need to poop at work, you see, because someone once told me that if I'm good at something then I shouldn't do it for free. Outside of the stall, I could hear the normal hustle and bustle of the restroom.... Other people pissing, washing their hands, incessant chatter, etc...


Then there was a knock on my stall door. I look up and very clearly exclaim "occupied".

Then

I see them peer through the thin open space between the locked stall door and the stall wall, then walk off.




WHAT THE FUCK?!?!

7/15/2014 10:33:24 AM

I'd heard stories about your dong man...just wanted to verify.

7/15/2014 10:36:00 AM

"dong"

hehehe

7/15/2014 10:37:02 AM

I'd heard stories about your dung man...just wanted to verify.

7/15/2014 10:39:22 AM

you might have been a turlet ghost, you never know

7/15/2014 10:40:41 AM

Quote :

"I see them peer through the thin open space between the locked stall door and the stall wall, then walk off."

That moment when your eyes meet theirs and you want to be like "WHAT THE FUCK DUDE".

Been there.

7/15/2014 10:42:11 AM

I don't even know who it was. All I saw was the sliver of his

h[a]ir
eye
f[a]ce
s[h]irt
p[a]nts
Shoes

Through the space between the door and wall

7/15/2014 10:46:33 AM

was he wearing a:

[h]at?
e[y]e glasses?
j[e]ans?
d[r]ess shirt?

we need more information.

7/15/2014 11:01:49 AM

One time in a Golden Corral restroom, I saw a girl probably about 14 whose mother was seemingly having severe stomach issues in one of the stalls. She was peering in through the gap watching and repeatedly asking if she could do anything to help.

I felt pretty violated by that, too.

7/15/2014 11:05:58 AM

it was me...

7/15/2014 11:06:16 AM

i know what they were trying to eyeball, emce

7/15/2014 11:06:23 AM

That is the precise moment when I am most vulnerable. His eye peirced straight through TO MY SOUL

7/15/2014 11:09:05 AM

i'm not gay. I don't care to see his peen.

I was looking for a glimpse of his

7/15/2014 11:09:13 AM

pm sent to EMCE

7/15/2014 11:11:54 AM

YO, FUCK THAT.

7/15/2014 11:15:33 AM

EMCE Panic Simulator

7/15/2014 11:18:39 AM

^ LMAO

7/15/2014 1:01:46 PM

^^ Well played sir, well played indeed.

7/15/2014 11:26:13 PM

When people shit at work I assume they must not have toilets at home.

7/16/2014 1:42:04 AM

That is an accurate assumption that leaves little to no room for alternative explanations.

7/16/2014 6:14:32 AM

I'll take the comfort and serenity of pooping at home over avoiding work for 15 minutes every time

7/16/2014 6:47:49 AM

My day doesn't really get started until I've had my morning coffee at my desk and then dropped the subsequent kids off at the pool.

7/16/2014 9:10:12 AM

I'm just saying. At some points when you walk by the restroom every morning at work, and if you know you will smell sharticles without question at 9:37 AM, something is wrong. Your employees are shitting on the clock.

Maybe your spy buddy was the boss, wanting to know whose pay he could dock for the shit-spiracy. I mean, can't you do that shit at home? As a co-worker who is aware of the trend, nobody appreciates it when it's routine, and I am sure the boss knows too...think about it man. You go to work and shit. That is like shitting at a restaurant and going home to eat.

7/16/2014 9:19:00 AM

That is stupid.

7/16/2014 10:59:13 AM

^^are you typing that from work?

7/16/2014 11:01:25 AM

http://money.cnn.com/2014/07/15/smallbusiness/bathroom-time-penalty/

7/16/2014 11:07:16 AM

60 minutes is a little excessive. I think the most I spend, over an 8 hour day, is probably like 20, maybe 30 if I deuce at work.

I probably spend about 30 in there overall but I usually work 10-11 hours, so that ratio is about the same.

7/16/2014 12:13:40 PM

The article says 6 minutes a day, you are 5x over the allotted time

7/16/2014 12:27:43 PM