Angles in the outfield had a much better story

10/5/2014 5:48:50 PM

10/5/2014 5:55:03 PM

10/5/2014 5:55:51 PM

Males over the age of 12 watch Disney movies?

10/5/2014 6:02:15 PM

but frozen has a story I can beat to

10/5/2014 6:09:31 PM

I have children if that's what you mean

10/5/2014 6:50:22 PM

10/5/2014 7:02:47 PM

I must have been a weird kid. Even at that age, the only Disney movies I gave a fuck about were The Little Mermaid, Lady & the Tramp, and 101 Dalmatians. The only reason I even saw Lion King was because my sister took me to the theater to see it when it first came out. I was 11. I think that's the last Disney movie I really watched.

When people talk about Aladdin, Lion King, Beauty and the Beast, etc., I just have to shrug because I haven't seen them in 20 years and was pretty meh about them.

And these movies come up surprisingly often, even amongst adults.

10/5/2014 7:09:22 PM

I must have been a weird kid. Even at that age, the only Geroge Lucas movies I gave a fuck about were Star Wars , Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back, and Star Wars: Return of the Jedi. The only reason I even saw Star Wars Episode 1 was because my father took me to the theater to see it when it first came out. I was 13. I think that's the last Starwars movie I really watched.

When people talk about Star Wars Episode 1, Star Wars Episode 2, Star Wars Episode 3, etc., I just have to shrug because I haven't seen them in years and was pretty meh about them.

And these movies come up surprisingly often, even amongst adults.

[Edited on October 6, 2014 at 12:21 AM. Reason : /]

10/6/2014 12:20:37 AM

The Lion King is a goddamned travesty, like virtually all Disney movies. The only positive thing I can say about it is that at least it wasn't racist as shit like most of their other ones.

We have a hereditary absolute monarchy that is openly built on the principle of the nobility killing and eating their subjects. Mustafa, by virtue of being born first, is lord dictator for life, and Scar is the bad guy for thinking at this system is unjust? And then we're supposed to cheer when Simba -- a wastrel youth with no leadership experience or education who is motivated solely by revenge -- overthrows this leader and feeds him alive to goddamn hyenas?

The hyenas remind me, wait, actually the movie is racist, because it encourages a caste system based on your species. Are you a hyena? Then you are destined to be a depraved, opportunistic, borderline psychopathic scavenger in Lion King land. Are you a lion? You get to rule shit forever. Bullshit. Fuck this movie and what it teaches kids. Why can't kids movies every promote a republican system of government where the prince/princess doesn't get their position by birthright or magic or boning someone who got to that position by those means?

10/6/2014 4:50:03 AM

^
When the movie first came out, my mom made this observation about The Lion King (and i, to my 4th grade teacher's horror, repeated the observation in class...):
http://virtualiansanity.blogspot.com/2011/06/racism-in-lion-king.html

10/6/2014 4:54:21 AM

Don't get me fucking started on Mulan, either. My girlfriend made me watch it. Oh, this is empowering to women, is it? A woman pretending to be a man to save the same patriarchal totalitarian monarchy that introduced foot binding so that their women could be crippled, tiny-footed fetish objects? And what the fuck is wrong with Mongolians? Under the Mongol Empire a woman could walk unmolested with a sack of gold on her head from Baghdad to Beijing. It created a revolutionary trade network and encouraged science while maintaining peace over an area larger than that occupied by any other empire in history. But no, we have to root against the Mongolian, because he's big and has a falcon or something.

10/6/2014 6:52:28 AM

Maybe you should seek professional help.

10/6/2014 7:07:23 AM

10/6/2014 10:27:54 AM

pretty sure my family had 2 (yes, two!) copies of the lion king soundtrack

10/6/2014 10:54:39 AM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6a_I2RSHFxg

american idol's shot at the COL

10/7/2014 10:21:59 AM