It sucks.

I slaved for 10 hours prepping and cooking my first turkey on the big green egg. I did the Mad Max Turkey recipe. Even made gravy from homemade turkey stock.

Very underwhelmed.

May be going to Bojangles to get a turkey tomorrow to feed 15 people.

Fuckin a.

11/27/2014 2:11:30 AM

Did it come out dry?

11/27/2014 2:14:06 AM

Nah. Just a shitty taste.

11/27/2014 2:28:53 AM

Not gonna lie, I get turkey from the deli or any sandwich shop and eat it like >150 days a year. So like... Suck it

11/27/2014 3:20:02 AM

crock pot cooked turkey is where it's at - moist, falling off the bone.

11/27/2014 7:38:58 AM

Fry that motherfucker

11/27/2014 8:55:57 AM

You screwed up so all turkey sucks?

11/27/2014 8:58:22 AM

11/27/2014 9:03:04 AM

We eat turkey all the time. Its awesome and super versatile.
The only problem I have is the carcass is near impossible to break up for stock. I already lost one chef's knife this year trying to hack through a backbone.

I'm adding a cleaver to my wish list for christmas which should solve that problem.

[Edited on November 27, 2014 at 9:15 AM. Reason : ]

11/27/2014 9:15:46 AM

Brine it. One family thanksgiving does this, the other does not. At the end, all of the white meat is left on the platter at the non-brined festivity

11/27/2014 9:18:05 AM

11/27/2014 10:43:01 AM

turkey is awesome. you suck.

11/27/2014 10:47:34 AM

Got a spatchcocked turkey on my kamado now. Sorry your turkey sucks.

11/27/2014 11:15:19 AM

Mine turned out delicious. Spent about 15 minutes cutting out the backbone and putting it in my brine bucket. 5 mins making a compound butter. 10 mins shoving the compound butter under the skin and sprinkling on some seasoning. Lit the grill and it's done in 1 hr 45 mins.

[Edited on November 27, 2014 at 1:01 PM. Reason : 36 hrs in the brine. that is the key.]

11/27/2014 1:00:28 PM

I got 99 problems but shitty turkey ain't one.


Seriously, smother it in gravy and keep on truckin (this is worst case scenario IMO)

11/27/2014 2:03:44 PM

Quote :

"The only problem I have is the carcass is near impossible to break up for stock. I already lost one chef's knife this year trying to hack through a backbone."

Poor man's pseudo turkey gravy/stock.

Sautee the giblets and let stand in warm chicken stock (scratch or decent commercial product {assuming one concedes one exists}) for an hour or so.
Make a light brown roux.
Add the "turkey infused" stock to the roux slowly. Then simmer down.
Sautee onions/celery/carrots (salt/pepper to taste) in butter.
Add to the simmering sauce.
Continue to simmer down the sauce, skimming fat that accrues on the surface.
When desired consistency reached, strain through a chinois.

11/27/2014 3:34:36 PM

I got dat 190% Dexter Russell cleaver for that backbone.

11/27/2014 4:15:50 PM

^ I was about to say, "you bitches never heard of a cleaver before?"

11/27/2014 4:32:59 PM

I've had turkey like 30 different ways and I'm just not that big of a fan. I like duck way better, and failing that a roasted chicken too.

11/27/2014 4:54:06 PM

I'd definitely rather have chicken, but turkey is the traditional meal and it isn't hard to make it fairly tasty. Our huge commercial turkeys nowadays are to blame for the dry, tasteless meat that most folks associate with turkey. Wild turkey is like a whole different meat.

11/27/2014 6:36:06 PM

I always thought turkey was just a cheap thing to eat. But my wife is really good with it...

Really good.

11/27/2014 6:46:49 PM

we did a turkey on a big green egg last night and it was fucking awesome. We stuffed it with onions while we smoked it. I don't think anything beats a good deep fried turkey but this was as close as it gets.

11/27/2014 7:53:08 PM

Turkey is never worth it. It's the worst meat, and you could take the time and effort you put into to it to cook several other meats and get a much better results.

At best, a good turkey is like an average chicken.

Turkey is a bad tradition, and it's worse that people blindly follow it.

11/27/2014 10:04:37 PM

I should clarify- I eat turkey for sammiches all the time.

But cooking the whole bird is a pain in the ass.

My coonass wife offered to cook gumbo next Thanksgiving. And she cooks a mean gumbo.

11/27/2014 11:32:32 PM

Roasted turkey is awesome. Fuck the haters. Not sure about that smoked shit tho...

Turkey sandos for life. That's my word.

11/28/2014 12:17:25 AM

we smoked our turkey. damn good.

and yeah, i eat deli turkey all the time.

we also had lamb...and it was very good

[Edited on November 28, 2014 at 11:21 AM. Reason : d]

11/28/2014 11:19:23 AM

Quote :

"Turkey is a bad tradition, and it's worse that people blindly follow it."

u mad?

11/28/2014 11:25:59 AM

my family cooks turkey about 4 times a year. we love it but aren't blindly following it. we almost got a dry aged roast for this thanksgiving but the butcher ran out and still had turkeys on wednesday.

people are pretty silly eating the same uniform meal nationwide regardless of if they like it or not. thanksgiving should be large meal that the entire family loves. sometimes that has meant we go to a really nice steakhouse.

11/28/2014 11:31:52 AM

^Yeah, no point in eating turkey if you don't like it.

We'll usually have turkey and another meat (ham or lamb maybe) and everybody tends to bring side dishes. Usually it's all fairly traditional, but we all like it too.

11/28/2014 2:41:51 PM

Quote :

"It's the worst meat, and you could take the time and effort you put into to it to cook several other meats and get a much better results."

It takes about 20 minutes to make up a brine and get it and the turkey in a bag/cooler. It takes 5 minutes the next day to take it out, dry it, stuff aromatics up it's asshole and put it in the oven.

I don't know what you're doing, but I suspect it's masturbating.

11/29/2014 7:31:26 AM