...your mind--except I do.

And I've found that a lot of what gets painted as "mind-reading" is really just social skills. I'm happiest in a relationship with a man who has good social skills--the ability to read nonverbal cues, to recognize that human beings are always communicating even when their mouths aren't moving, and to know intuitively what has meaning and what's just noise.

We do this all the time--constantly, in every setting--but, in romantic relationships, suddenly we're supposed to assume we're all social idiots? It's ludicrous.

Also, sex. That type of intimacy has a powerful affect. So people should get to it as quickly as possible. Reveal the flaws after they're intimately attached. Otherwise, they get revealed on date three or four, and I cringe at the thought of sex.

What do y'all think?

8/9/2015 11:37:01 AM

I am in 100% agreement on all points.

"I can't read your mind" = I don't understand simple body language cues.

8/9/2015 11:47:15 AM

I can't read your mind = stop being so obtuse. You are annoying.

8/9/2015 11:48:52 AM

^Are you saying the dopey person who doesnt understand simple body language cues says that,

OR

That the really smart person who knows how to speak body, says that?

8/9/2015 12:10:24 PM

Obviously, the person who obfuscates (or classically pouts in silence) doesn't have very good social or emotional skills themselves. And, if you dig that person and want to be with them, you can help them grow.

But I'm tired of helping people grow, accommodating their blind spots.

"My buddy and I do this thing on YouTube where we review obscure science fiction movies. You probably wouldn't get most of the references, but...[ten minutes of making references I don't get it]...this week's video is only thirty minutes...you wanna come in and watch it?"

"No. Absolutely not."

"Damn. Uhh, I wasn't expecting that. I guess you can be pretty direct. I like that in a woman. "

8/9/2015 12:47:27 PM

I'm in a four year relationship. So my input is most likely pointless

8/9/2015 1:08:58 PM

I feel like the sex thing only works to their advantage. I get intimately attached while they can still see my flaws and decide to leave without being attached.

8/9/2015 1:10:35 PM

^^I've only been in one relationship for that long, and I wasn't a very good girlfriend.

My last relationship was a year before he moved away. He was broke and objectively unattractive in the face, but he had superior social skills, and he was awesome.

I dunno. My friends are trying hard to set me up, and according to them, "former bartender" or "mind reader" are not reasonable qualifications. But I'm realizing I do have a type, and that's my type.

^To some extent, I agree. It's probably why I'm sexless for years at a time--becoming attached in that way is risky. But being sexless makes it that much more important to me. Plus, men can get attached, as well, even if they pretend they don't.

8/9/2015 1:42:14 PM

I agree with the thread title alone. I always go after illiterate mates.

8/9/2015 1:49:23 PM

Is this thread about chomping the beav?

8/9/2015 2:59:40 PM

Is this thread about chomping the beav?

8/9/2015 2:59:40 PM

It's always about that. But it's also me complaining that I'm sexless and hoping that someone with excellent social skills will materialize for sex stuff.

8/9/2015 3:10:25 PM

I have a good track record of materializing for sex stuff.

No problems materializing here.

8/9/2015 3:43:32 PM