I swear to god I can't believe how god damn bad these movies are!

Hayden Christianans performance has to go down as one of the most terrible performances to ever grace the stage or screen. I had heard his performance was straight dumpster fire in this trilogy, (Which I had found surprising because he was absolutely spectacular in 'Jumper').

But the the level of shittyness exceeded my expectations for shittyness ten fold at least. It may have even ruined Jumper for me, seriously.

12/11/2015 11:38:05 PM

Jumper > Star Wars

12/11/2015 11:42:58 PM

Whhat about episodes 4-6?

Jumper > eps. 4 thru 6

12/12/2015 12:38:51 AM

You have no concept of time. Jumper came out in 2008. Episode 3 was in 2005 so of course he refined his talent after 3 big time roles then 3 more years of whatever work he did.

Im assuning the new movie will be much better

12/12/2015 12:42:24 AM

You can't really blame him. George Lucas is an awful director and poor writer when it comes to dialogue. The movie had some absolutely top notch veteran actors; Natalie Portman, Ewan McGregor, Samuel L. Jackson, etc. yet they are all best described as "meh" in those films. Christensen was a rookie and the guy in charge fed him some top notch bullshit.

Lucas selling the franchise off and walking away is the best thing to happen to Star Wars in decades.

12/12/2015 12:59:07 AM

It's not like the acting is all that great in the original trilogy either, come on now. To me, the biggest difference between the original and the prequels is that there are basically no actual Star Wars set pieces in the prequels. Lucas replaced all of that with green screen that has since become incredibly dated.

12/12/2015 6:23:57 AM

Also, the pacing is mind-numblingly slow in the prequels. What is so funny to me is that Lucas was heralded as a genius for the pacing that was used in Star Wars, and it had a a truly revolutionary effect on how future directors would build suspense and lore in sic-fi franchises.

And then Lucas was all, fuck that, I am gonna talk about boring ass political trade disputes now.

12/12/2015 7:18:05 AM

It's all explained in excruciating detail here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?list=PL5919C8DE6F720A2D&v=FxKtZmQgxrI

Now here's the question that's really going to noodle your noggin: how the fuck did episodes 4-6 turn out so great?

12/12/2015 7:46:59 AM

well, he only directed the first one. So, that is a start.

Secondly, he wasn't the legend that he is now when he made the first trilogy, so he was forced to collaborate and operate within the constraints of a more experienced team. You know, he had people like Alec Guinness and such taking on influential, almost producer-esque roles while working with him.

And, given the lack of technology then, he was forced to be creative and use things like stop-motion, models, and actual set pieces instead of just relying on CGI and blue screen.

[Edited on December 12, 2015 at 9:49 AM. Reason : a]

12/12/2015 9:38:21 AM

the only redeeming part of episodes 1-3 is jar jar binks.

12/12/2015 10:50:05 AM

Any of you saying that Hayden Christiansons performance wasnt that bad, watch this 7 second clip and then get back to me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hi5jjXTPtyY


If somebody would like to embed, please do. It is an important piece of evidence.

12/12/2015 11:16:54 AM

Hayden Christensen is probably a decent actor. He's just working with horrible material. I don't know if anyone could've made that line work. And if George had put in the work instead of just crapping out the material, he would've rewritten that scene (and many, many others) or at least made Hayden do another take until he got it right (whatever 'right' means for such terrible dialogue).

12/12/2015 11:22:48 AM

I enjoyed 1 and 3, but 2 was pretty lame. The only real fighting in that episode was right at the end when Yoda said, "The Clone Wars have begun." Then the credits appeared on the screen and the movie ended.

The biggest problem is that the original 3 were so good that it will be hard to ever match that, yet anything that says Star Wars on it sells, so people involved with it will always be eager to do a money grab. They probably should have done like the creators of BTTF who have said no one will ever be allowed to make a remake, or sequel as long as they are alive and they have also put it in their will that no sequels, or remakes can be made after they die.

12/12/2015 11:33:15 AM

Agreed. 2 is by the worst. 3 at least has good plot point ideas even if it generally sux

12/12/2015 2:44:45 PM

I'm not sure if i remember 2 but 1 was really bad to me. The speed racing felt like it lasted an hour.

12/12/2015 3:10:59 PM

1 is awful. well, just the parts with the kid in it. qui-gon is pretty cool.

12/12/2015 3:32:02 PM

They are awful

12/12/2015 4:28:18 PM

best part of the prequels is the gag reel with R2 falling down a bunch

12/12/2015 5:05:13 PM

how does that wacko find a way to mention back to the future in every fucking post he makes?????

12/12/2015 9:47:15 PM

...I've got a bad feeling about this

12/13/2015 11:19:14 AM