or don't. See if I care.


So, my ex and I split at the beginning of this year. We had been dating a while, lived together, and I even bought us a doggy who we both love. When we split up, the doggy came with me. Seeing how the ex and I are still on good terms, and are friends, we have worked out deal where she will come over to my place (or me to hers) just so she can see the dog. I don't really care, and it seemed like a small thing I could do to make a friend happy. The visits used to be once a week, but as schedules have gotten complicated, that has dropped off to maybe once every 3 weeks.

As time has gone on, old EMCE went and got himself another girlfriend. She's awesome. And when we were first dating, I explained this situation to her about my ex. She begrudgingly understood, and 'permitted' this to go on. My girlfriend has been a saint so far. Obviouslys give my girlfriend priority over my ex when it comes down to it, for example only letting my ex come over to see the dog when my girlfriend doesn't want to hang out with me.

But it's awkward, and I'll be the first to admit that. And almost 6 months after my ex and I broke up....and 3 months into my current relationship, it's getting harder and harder to justify hanging out with my ex. I know my girlfriend is secretly (or maybe not so secretly) wishing my ex would figure it out and step out of my life. I'm thinking if I let this drag out too much further, I'll be jeopardizing my current relationship for one that is dead.

As someone that typically keeps exes at arm's length, this is a bit new to me. Fuck, I'd probably be a bit weirded out if my girlfriend saw her ex somewhat regularly. And if my ex had a boyfriend, I'm sure he wouldn't be entirely comfortable with his girlfriend going to hang out with her old partner than happens to have an pretty dick.


Thoughts? Opinions? Prayers?

7/19/2017 1:05:30 PM

I'll say a thought for you during my evening thoughts. I know the good thoughts will summon wizards to solve your problems. You just have to believe and have thoughts too. And hate left-handed people.

7/19/2017 1:08:03 PM

It's a dog. Are you willing to give it up? Then give it to your ex. If you aren't willing to give it up, then tell your ex that all this dog business is over with. She'll get over it, or she won't. If she doesn't, you won't be friends anymore, but you also probably weren't actually friends to begin with in that case.

In thirty years, the dog will be dead. Do you expect to still be friends with your ex? Probably not. You're overthinking this.

7/19/2017 1:11:25 PM

^^ Thanks. I'll take those words to heart.

^ fuck no I'm not giving my dog up. That option has never been on the table. Yeah, the ex is going to be pissed, but I've already come to the conclusion that her emotional well-being isn't necessarily my concern anymore.

[Edited on July 19, 2017 at 1:15 PM. Reason : froshkiller makes me tingly inside when he curses at me without cursing AT me]

7/19/2017 1:11:33 PM

like isn't still coming over to play with the dog after a break-up code for still wanting to fuck anyway

7/19/2017 1:15:41 PM

Is there any way your ex could take the dog for an extended amount of time, a weekend or a few days here and there? That way, you'd only see her when she's picking up or dropping off, and it wouldn't be weird with her sitting in your place for a long time. Neither one of you should have to give up the dog, in my opinion, and there are ways to work around it that will be comfortable for everyone involved.

7/19/2017 1:19:52 PM

heck yeah, potentially free dog sitter

7/19/2017 1:22:33 PM

I've probably never done the whole breakup thing "right" so I'll subscribe to your newsletter.

My suggestion would be try to get a regular 3-way going during the dog visits

7/19/2017 1:22:51 PM

Well, she can't have pets in her apartment. So I couldn't exactly drop the dog off for a weekend. It's either she comes over to my place, or we sneak the dog into hers for a visit...and try to keep his loud ass from barking.

7/19/2017 1:22:58 PM

EMCE's got 99 problems and a bitch is one

7/19/2017 1:25:29 PM

Oh wait, it's a he

7/19/2017 1:26:29 PM

OK, make it so the visit has to be outside.

7/19/2017 1:27:05 PM

SSS, it's just a dog. There is no benefit to further complicating the situation.

7/19/2017 1:27:12 PM

lol dafuq is this?

7/19/2017 1:33:04 PM

Maybe she could pick up the dog and take him to a dog park or something. Minimizing the hang out time between the two of you.

7/19/2017 1:33:34 PM

If she only sees it once a month, going to 0 times a month shouldn't be too hard.

7/19/2017 1:36:22 PM

Have the dog destroyed and put a hit out on the ex-gf. Problem solved.

7/19/2017 1:42:38 PM

Quote :

" I'm sure he wouldn't be entirely comfortable with his girlfriend going to hang out with her old partner than happens to have an pretty dick. "

Answered your own question here. Cut ties completely if you wouldn't honestly be comfortable with it. Don't want anything from the old spoiling the new.

7/19/2017 1:44:29 PM

I ended up saying a thought for you prior to my midday vittles and I was sent a vision. You are to marry both females as your mates, move them to a commune, and procreate profusely. You will dispose of your current belongings and clothes, and limit yourself to technology, fashion, and tools that are of the early 20th century.

7/19/2017 1:47:28 PM

If she cared about the dog more, she'd want to see it more often.

Since she doesn't really care about the dog that much...fuck her. Cut that bitch off.

7/19/2017 1:50:28 PM

Quote :

"There is no benefit to further complicating the situation."

But that's what I do. Certainly you must know that by now.

7/19/2017 1:55:16 PM

what is this, r/Relationships? ditch the Ex entirely

7/19/2017 1:56:56 PM

Quote :

"If she cared about the dog more, she'd want to see it more often. Since she doesn't really care about the dog that much...fuck her. Cut that bitch off."

If it were up to my ex, she would be at my place every Sunday trying to hang out. It's definitely me thats limited the visits, for the most part.

7/19/2017 2:07:44 PM

She wants the D. The O & G are optional.

7/19/2017 2:10:44 PM

Quote :

"She wants the D. The O & G are optional."

this

7/19/2017 2:11:24 PM

In this case, I think that it is a similar situation with kids and custody. You both invested in something, and you both now have responsibility for it. You shouldn't keep her from coming over to see the dog because your new gf might be getting jelly.

Why don't you just suggest that she picks the dog up for the weekend or an extended period like that?

I really don't see the issue here. It is about putting the dog before your relationship. Maybe the dog gets really happy when he sees the ex and taking away that part of its life would be detrimental to its development.

7/19/2017 2:25:25 PM

It's a dog.

7/19/2017 2:34:15 PM

The dog definitely gets super excited when he sees my ex. But....there is no concept, legally, of shared custody over a pet. A pet is not a child.
As far as I'm concerned, since I paid the adoption fee, buy the food, take the dog to the vet, and pay the pet fee for my apartment...it is my dog.

7/19/2017 2:39:10 PM

7/19/2017 2:41:43 PM

It is not about legality, it is about what is best for the animal's development. If he likes seeing you ex, then why take that away? Surely you guys can work out a solution where she still gets to see the dog if she wants.

7/19/2017 2:45:15 PM

It's a dog.

7/19/2017 2:59:27 PM

Have you even asked Griff what he wants?

7/19/2017 3:01:05 PM

Griffin just wants to stick his nose in strange womens' hoohahs when I'm not paying particularly close attention to him in the elevator.

7/19/2017 3:06:45 PM

^^^^ I'm a dog person, but WTF is this shit?

Flip side, if she insists on still wanting to see the dog then tell her ass to train the dog not to bark - then she can keep it over weekends. Actually train the dog not to bark in general. That shit's annoying.

[Edited on July 19, 2017 at 3:20 PM. Reason : ]

7/19/2017 3:20:21 PM

Quote :

" an pretty dick "

also tell her the dog died, and to move on ¯\_(?)_/¯

7/19/2017 3:20:49 PM

Do you see your currently relationship going anywhere? If so, might as well cut your ex off now before it gets any worse. I don't see this situation getting any better with time, unless the dog dies and you obviously don't want that. Do you think she still has feelings for your? Is she using this dog as a rope to somehow hold on to you until your current relationship fails and hopefully will swoop back in and put a broken EMCE back together?

7/19/2017 3:59:54 PM

When me and my ex split she kept the dog some weekends (specifically when she was going to her parents). After about 6 months I killed that because I didn't want to deal with meeting her and having to reopen the wound of our split.

If she wants to see the dog she should pay the pet fee for her place and take it when she wants. Otherwise no coming by to see it.

7/19/2017 4:03:23 PM

purchase her an identical dog that hates her

7/19/2017 4:14:02 PM

Are you actively trying to salvage some sort of friendship with the ex?

If not, I'd say that for all intents and purposes that's your dog, and if the ex isn't going to be a part of your life aside from your pup it's probably time to cut her out completely. Especially if you're looking to progress things further with your new ladyfriend.

7/19/2017 4:17:44 PM

^^


I realize I'm providing no value to you in this thread. Sorry EMCE

7/19/2017 4:38:02 PM

Eh I'm best friends with my ex - I know I'm weird, but I wouldn't have a problem with my ex having a relationship, especially because of an animal.

But again, I'm weird

7/19/2017 5:28:55 PM

White people problems.

7/19/2017 6:29:15 PM

You don't want to give up the dog and if she had really wanted the dog, I believe that she would have gotten an apartment that would allow dogs when you guys split up. So...

I cannot believe that I am saying this, but Frosh is right. It's time to end this shit.

7/19/2017 8:28:41 PM

I commend your courage and vulnerability bringing this sensitive dilemma to our attention. You did the right thing.







That's all I got.

7/19/2017 9:32:47 PM

King Solomon with the answer:

Cut the dog in half!

7/19/2017 9:58:21 PM

Quote :

"I cannot believe that I am saying this, but Frosh is right. It's time to end this shit."

7/20/2017 11:25:48 AM

For once I am gonna agree with FroshKiller on this one

Quote :

"It's a dog."

7/20/2017 11:32:21 AM

yeah, it's your dog. not hers. your intentions were good by letting her visit the dog, but now...fuck that...if it's a problem in your current relationship it isn't worth it for her to keep coming around. jeopardizing your current relationship to keep an ex happy is unnecessary and probably won't end well for any of y'all.

[Edited on July 20, 2017 at 12:23 PM. Reason : plus...it's a dog]

7/20/2017 12:23:35 PM

You guys are some selfish fuckers with this "it's just a dog" crap. If that is the case, then why even bother with it in the first place?

It is a living animal that has emotions. If his ex makes it happy then that should be given priority over some relationship quarrels. Trust me, I have easily found solutions to these problems when it comes to an ex and not being able to completely break off relations after a breakup. You two (and your current gf) need to be adults and think about the dog, and then find a solution. It really isn't that hard to have her pick him up for a weekend, day, or afternoon and then drop him back off.

Not to mention, your gf is being a bit immature by pressuring you into this. You should be in control of your life, not some chick that you are banging. Bitches ain't shit bro.

7/20/2017 1:03:12 PM

would you fucking shut up already, jesus christ

IT'S A DOG WITH THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS YOU MUST HONOR

YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS A JUST WET PLACE TO PUT YOUR DICK, FUCK HER

[Edited on July 20, 2017 at 1:09 PM. Reason : fucking quit life already you idiot]

7/20/2017 1:05:04 PM