Post your favorite penis hacks!

If you get a boner during class, tuck it under your waistband. It hides the boner and feels good.

4/29/2020 12:24:32 PM

Penis Hack!

Freeball and pull your pants way up high! It looks like a moose knuckle and allows others to know whether you're circumcised! No more awkward questions about your foreskin!

4/29/2020 2:44:27 PM

1) put penis in vagina
2)...
3) profit!

4/29/2020 2:53:01 PM

^Nice! I will have to try that one out some day.

4/30/2020 1:24:08 PM

Keep them coming people. I hope to compile these for the Penis Hacks guide that I’m currently writing!

4/30/2020 1:26:31 PM

You can't use my post in your guide unless you pay me royalties.

4/30/2020 2:10:54 PM

penis hack!

tuck your penis between your legs and become someones little sister

4/30/2020 2:29:43 PM

I'm trying to get Henry Winkler (The Fonz) to write the foreword to my book so I sent him my preliminary cover art design...still waiting to hear back, but it would be huge if he gets on board!

4/30/2020 2:46:45 PM

Got any hacks for lengthening the penis? Everything I read online comes up short.

4/30/2020 8:01:49 PM

Yes! It is very simple and best of all, you can do it with items lying around your house! No special equipment needed.

1) Chop your dick off around halfway down the stalk with a kitchen knife.
2) Get a large wooden skewer (the ones you use for kabobs) and jam one end into the base section of your penis.
3) Next, take the detached part of your penis and slap it onto the other end of the skewer.
4) Trim the skewer to obtain the desired penis length (you can adjust it up to 12" inches in total length!).

Here's a how-to infographic that I put together when lengthening mine:



[Edited on April 30, 2020 at 8:32 PM. Reason : .]

4/30/2020 8:31:17 PM

Wow! It really works!

4/30/2020 11:11:59 PM

^^ at what level of flaccidity do I make the cut?

5/1/2020 10:06:03 AM

50% chub works best

5/1/2020 1:05:26 PM

if your penis is only slightly longer and thicker than a roll of Lifesavers when flaccid, don't worry! this doesn't mean you have a small dick.

you might be something called a "grower," whereby your penis undergoes an unusual degree of enlargement when becoming erect. so your erect dick (which is what matters) might be average.

5/9/2020 6:29:11 PM

It's called a shaft you fucking nitwit

5/9/2020 6:50:16 PM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yzI2SYpZSgI

5/10/2020 1:28:28 AM

Penis Hack!

Tired of sweaty stinky swamp nutz? Try this hack, using items found in any home

1. Use a length of twine to tie off your dick n ballz
2. cover, and i mean COVER your whole sack n dick in babby powder (not powdered babby)
3. Wrap your nutz n peen like a mummy using TP


Et voila! Dry fucking sahara desert nutz

5/15/2020 10:59:24 AM

A more effective method would be to just chop off your balls. It’s an instant and permanent cure for those stinky sweaty balls.

This also allows you to cum inside of your grandmother without having to worry about getting her pregnant!

[Edited on May 15, 2020 at 1:38 PM. Reason : .]

5/15/2020 1:37:28 PM