Dear house,
stop being so damn cold, it makes me hurt
Casey

4/13/2005 4:17:23 PM

dear blunt,

when you arrive i'm gonna smoke you worse than a drive by in compton.

your best friend,

josh

4/13/2005 4:27:52 PM

Dear Sucky Weather,

please get the hell out now...Monday was so nice i got sunburn on my shoulders...but now, it's like January again, and I hate you. Bring back your brother so that i can not stay on TWW for hours on end.

4/13/2005 5:25:32 PM

Dear red roses,

Please help me out just a little.

Thanks, Eddie

4/13/2005 5:31:03 PM

dear newport mediums,

ok you were like buy one get one free and until now i was kinda broke and you really dont taste like regular newports at all

regular newports pwn you up and down brent road

4/13/2005 5:32:42 PM

Dear Stanford University,

Don't fuck up my visa, cuz my tickets can't be refunded.
Your friend,

Jerry

4/13/2005 5:36:40 PM

Quote :

"dear internet, 01001001 00100000 01101011 01101110 01101111 01110111 00100000 01100001 01100010 01101111 01110101 01110100 00100000 01010100 01101111 01101110 01111001 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01110000 01101111 01101111 01101100 00100000 01100010 01101111 01111001 00101110 00100000 00100000 01010100 01101001 01101101 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100100 01101001 01100101 00101110 bye "

translate
"I know about tony the pool boy. Time to die."

lol

4/14/2005 1:57:04 AM

Medicine,

You're supposed to make me sleepy. Why aren't you working

~~Kyle

4/14/2005 2:06:46 AM

Dear sleep,
YOU WERE INCREDIBLE LAST NIGHT! THANKS
Robbie

4/14/2005 3:53:37 PM

dear calculus 2 information,
GET IN MY DAMN HEAD BY 12PM!!!
with oodles of love,
emily

4/15/2005 4:14:11 AM

dear cigarette

i cant get to you cause i am glued to the couch like for real, my head is spinning and shit

ps- i'm gonna go to bed

4/15/2005 4:16:08 AM

Dear Dragontales Fruit Snacks,
You sure are yummy
But I don't believe you to be a substitute for breakfast.
Thanks though,
~A~

So....

Dear Bojangles,
Please move from Lillington to BUIES CREEK so that I can enjoy you more often. It is too far to go before work.
I love you so much,
~A~

4/15/2005 9:52:14 AM

Dear Army,

I love you, but then I don't.

Love and hate

PFC Carl Neal Hudson

4/19/2005 1:09:49 PM

Dear refridgerator,

Thank you for making my Miller Lite multiply and letting me find three in there instead of two.

I didn't want to drink my shitty ex's shitty beer.

Much love,
John

5/2/2005 1:06:50 AM

^^^wow, youre in lillington??

5/2/2005 1:07:41 AM

dear gushers,

i never got to have you as a kid because my mom said you weren't healthy

but now that i'm in college i can have you all i want

all my love,
kate

5/2/2005 1:08:02 AM

Dear Dead Rat on My Desk,

I WIN!

<3 Ducksauce + Shoe

5/2/2005 1:13:34 AM

Dear Wireless Keyboard,
I did not know how to repair you, so I replaced you. Please don't get mad and kill yourself if you're not already dead, b/c I plan on using you again.
-Your Master

5/2/2005 1:16:31 AM

Dear ELITE Keyboard,

HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLL YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

5/2/2005 1:17:07 AM

Dear alarm clock,

Please dont startle me too much in the morning. I hate waking up with a near heart attack..

Love,
Tinky

5/2/2005 1:45:22 AM

dear
4th dirt jump @ estees trails i win you lose

dear table top after 4th jump at estees trails
why is it that your kicker to get on there is capable of making me nearly clear you ?
this was a poor design.


dear berm turn...
why is it that you... such a simple concept always fuck me up?

5/2/2005 1:48:17 AM

dear crack,

i love you

5/2/2005 1:48:54 AM

Dear Extra Cool Green Apple Gum:

Why does your cool, apple flavor taste so good but go away so fast?

5/3/2005 11:52:48 AM

Dear ibuprofen,

I can feel you winning the war against my headache. You are a savior. I wish I had consulted with you sooner.

Much love until next time,
John

5/22/2005 12:08:28 AM

Dear beer,

where the hell are you. pls to appear in fridge.

your friend,

skewfield

5/22/2005 12:09:34 AM

Quote :

"Fuck you inanimate object"

-Mitch Hedberg

[Edited on May 22, 2005 at 12:16 AM. Reason : sp?]

5/22/2005 12:11:30 AM

dear mitch hedburg

why did you have to die and leave us all alone

5/22/2005 12:13:05 AM

Dear Mustang,

You are a hell of a lot of fun to drive, and so many people want to talk about you. I appreciate that - it makes me proud to own you.

Axelay

5/22/2005 2:11:19 AM

Dear Itunes,

You make me horny

Your compiler,

Me

5/22/2005 2:12:41 AM

Dear DSM,
I've spent a lot of fucking money on you and what have you done for me in return? You ran for like a month and then shit the bed. I know the mean man I bought you from fucked you up, but it's time to get your ass in gear. If you don't get with the program, I'll be forced to replace you with another motorcycle. I built you to take out motorcycles!

...but I still love you

5/22/2005 2:19:15 AM

Dear Stella Artois,
I know that I said before that bums in the UK drink you,
but personally I really enjoyed drinking a lot of you tonight,
so I think I take back that statement,
you make me feel good.
love,

-ZiP!-

5/22/2005 2:29:35 AM

Hey pillowcase,

where the fuck are you? i gotta go to bed soon. show up, okay?

~DD

5/22/2005 2:31:14 AM

Dear Adderall,

Thank you for being my motivation to get up for work today. Because of you I was able to go out last night and pick up the hottest guy at Crowley's and get invited to his hot tub this afternoon after work. You make me want to clean everything, and you make my nostrils blue. Oh how I love you, Adderall!

Yours,
Kep

6/3/2005 8:11:26 AM

Dear Breakfast Apple

Thank you for supplying me with my morning nutrition. You were so tasty! Each bite from you was crunchy and juicy. I had to tell my office mate how good you were. Time to chomp down on your friend, Breakfast Granola Bar.

Until Monday,
SIG

6/3/2005 8:50:10 AM

Dear prescription-strength Naproxen,

Thank you for being with me today so that I could offer a piece of you to my hot coworker who was in need of pain relief. Together, we rose above the girl who just had over-the-counter ibuprofen.

Until we meet again,
Catherine

6/3/2005 9:00:15 AM

Dear job,

thanks for requiring no more of 3hrs of work this week.
sincerely,
snuw

6/3/2005 9:05:01 AM

Dear Luggage,
Please pack yourself so I can sit and talk on AIM all day.

Love,
Leann

6/3/2005 9:27:51 AM

Dear Leann's luggage,

please don't pack yourself so her lazy ass can't stay on aim all day.
sincerely,
snuw

6/3/2005 9:32:26 AM

hahahahaha

6/3/2005 9:35:17 AM

Dear Right Shoulder,

Please stop hurting so much... I agree that you haven't been paid much attention to lately, but the one time i actually take you out to exercise, you hit me with this sharp pain and it isn't going away...

Sincerely
Devin

6/3/2005 9:37:05 AM

^^jk im soooooo bored

6/3/2005 9:40:40 AM

Dear gel,



FUCK.....YOOOOUUUU!


later

6/3/2005 10:17:08 AM

Dear Pubes

Hope you find my roomate's bed comfortable. Say hi to semen and vomit for me.

6/3/2005 11:03:08 AM

dear paperwork,
please do yourself and turn yourself in to my boss before 4pm so I can get paid.

kthxu,
Misha

6/3/2005 11:15:18 AM

dear new printer at my dad's house

why are you the size of my 37 inch tv? why are you larger than my little brother and my dog combined. if you don't make it as a printer i would just like to suggest you become the model for a new hummer. H3 with built in scanner.

love,
~a good son that sets things up for his dad

6/3/2005 12:14:44 PM

Dear State Park Lake,

Please don't fill up with water anytime soon this summer. I am thoroughly enjoying lifeguarding a lake with no water. Thank you state of North Carolina. Making those budgets count.

Sincerely,
Billy Reed

6/3/2005 12:25:43 PM

Dear Hunger,

GTFO

-Seanzie

6/3/2005 12:28:17 PM

Dear Rice-A-Roni Chicken Flavor

I could eat you all day long. Too bad you are such a bitch to make.

SIG

6/3/2005 12:31:42 PM

Dear GRE,

i'm sick of studying for you. so please take yourself and put my name on it.

thanks,
-Brian-

6/3/2005 12:33:26 PM

Dear scale,
are you lying to me? cmon, +20 lb in the 4 months since i stept on you last?? dont fuck around.

6/3/2005 1:18:47 PM