10

7/2/2008 2:23:46 AM

Jul 2 1881

President James A. Garfield is shot in a train station by Charles Julius Guiteau, a lunatic trying to become ambassador either to Austria or France. Garfield lingers for three months before finally dying.

Jul 2 1937

Attempting to become the first female pilot to circumnavigate the globe in an airplane, Amelia Earhart disappears over the Pacific with her navigator, Fred Noonan.

Jul 2 1942

On page six, the New York Times reports Germany's mass extermination of 700,000 Jews, by use of poison gas.

Jul 2 1947

Mr. and Mrs. Dan Wilmot witness a "large glowing object" zoom across the sky at 400 or 500 miles per hour. The next day, Mac Brazel discovers the wreckage of a flying saucer -- not fragments of an experimental balloon composed of neoprene -- on a remote pasture outside Roswell, New Mexico.

Jul 2 1961

In the tile-covered foyer of his home in Ketchum, Idaho, novelist Ernest Hemingway commits suicide with his favorite shotgun. When the body was later found, "only his chin, mouth, and vestigial scraps of his cheeks were still connected to his body."

Jul 2 1982

UC Berkeley electrical engineering professor Diogenes Angelakos picks up an unattended package in Cory Hall. The pipe bomb hidden inside the parcel explodes, shredding the man's right hand. Coincidentally, Angelakos is present three years later, when the Unabomber claims a second victim in the computer science department, John Hauser.

Jul 2 1982

Vietnam vet Larry Walters climbs aboard an aluminum lawn chair in Southern California, equipped with 42 weather balloons, a CB radio, a parachute, and a pellet gun. During his two-hour voyage from San Pedro to Long Beach, Walters reaches an altitude of 16,000 feet and eventually becomes tangled in some power lines. Walters survives, but receives a $1,500 fine from the FAA.

Jul 2 1990

In Mecca, 1,426 Muslim pilgrims are suffocated and/or crushed to death when panic erupts in an overcrowded pedestrian tunnel. Saudi Arabia opts to bury the victims in a mass grave.

Jul 2 1994

Colombian soccer star Andres Escobar is shot twelve times outside a bar in Bogota, and dies on the spot. Only ten days prior, Escobar had inadvertently scored a goal for the American team in the 1994 World Cup playoffs, resulting in a first-round elimination for Colombia.

Jul 2 1997

The Russian minister of Justice, Valentin Kovalyov, is fired after grainy black-and-white photos of him appear in the tabloid Sovershenno Sekretno. The government official had been secretly filmed in a nightclub sauna with a bevy of young women. No one was wearing clothes.

Jul 2 1998

The eternal flame at the Arc de Triomphe in Paris, which has burned continuously since 1921 to commemorate the dead of World War I, is extinguished by an intoxicated soccer fan with his beer-enriched urine. Mexican national Rodrigo Rafael Ortega is arrested and charged with public drunkenness and offending the dead.

Jul 2 1999

Former U.S. Treasury undersecretary Ron Noble, the man who oversaw his department's inquiry into the Waco siege, is chosen to lead Interpol.

7/2/2008 1:23:23 PM

Jul 3 1905

Russian troops kill 6,000 in Odessa to break a general strike.

Jul 3 1963

Two former secretaries of the Nation of Islam file paternity suits against the head of their church, the honorable Elijah Muhammad. They claimed the prophet had fathered their four children. The allegations eventually cause Malcolm X to quit the NOI.

Jul 3 1971

Jim Morrison is found dead of an apparent heart attack in his Paris apartment bathtub. That's what he wants us to think, anyway.

Jul 3 1987

Vladimir Nikolayev is sentenced to death for killing and eating two people in Novocheboksary, Chuvashia. When police arrested Nikolayev the previous year, they found human meat roasting on the stove, more in the oven, and body parts stashed on his balcony packed in snow.

Jul 3 1988

Mistaking it for a F-14 fighter plane, the American warship USS Vincennes shoots down Iran Air flight 655, killing all 290 people aboard. Despite his country's having recklessly downed a passenger airliner while operating inside Iran's territorial waters, Vice President George Bush declares a month later: "I will never apologize for the United States of America, ever. I don't care what the facts are."

Jul 3 1989

Television actor Jim Backus, known to millions as Thurston Howell III from Gilligan's island, dies in Los Angeles of Parkinson's disease.

7/3/2008 12:39:43 PM

Quote :

"Jul 3 1971 Jim Morrison is found dead of an apparent heart attack in his Paris apartment bathtub. That's what he wants us to think, anyway. "

ppppppffffftttttt

7/3/2008 12:51:56 PM

Jul 4 1054

A supernova suddenly appears in the constellation Taurus. It is so bright that for the first 23 days it is visible during the day. Then it gradually fades away, finally disappearing after a year or so. Today the remnants of this star are the Crab Nebula.

Jul 4 1826

A comatose Thomas Jefferson dies on the fiftieth anniversary of the Declaration of Independence, only a few hours before John Adams also expires.

Jul 4 1961

In the North Atlantic, a leaky pipe drains all of the coolant from the starboard reactor aboard the Soviet submarine K-19. 22 sailors are killed in the resulting nuclear accident.

Jul 4 1976

After receiving an especially bloody beating at the hands of her husband Ike, Tina Turner sneaks out of the Dallas hotel they're staying at while he is asleep. She walks away from their 16-year relationship with only 36 cents in her pocket.

Jul 4 1984

For the first time, Nancy Reagan utters the immortal words: "Just say no."

Jul 4 1987

A court in Lyon, France convicts Klaus Barbie, the Butcher of Lyon, for the deportation of Jews, torture of resistance fighters, and crimes against humanity during World War II. Barbie spends the rest of his life in prison.

7/4/2008 11:32:01 AM

July 4th (wiki)

# 836 - Pactum Sicardi, peace between the Principality of Benevento and the Duchy of Naples
# 993 - Saint Ulrich of Augsburg is canonized.
# 1054 - A supernova is observed by the Chinese, the Arabs and possibly Amerindians near the star ? Tauri. For several months it remains bright enough to be seen during the day. Its remnants form the Crab Nebula.
# 1120 - Jordan II of Capua is anointed as prince after his infant nephew's death.
# 1187 - The Crusades: Battle of Hattin - Saladin defeats Guy of Lusignan, King of Jerusalem.
# 1253 - Battle of West-Capelle: John I of Avesnes defeats Guy of Dampierre.
# 1359 - Francesco II Ordelaffi of Forlì surrenders to the Papal commander Gil de Albornoz.
# 1634 - The city of Trois-Rivières is founded in New France, later to become the Canadian province of Quebec.
# 1636 - City of Providence, Rhode Island forms.
# 1754 - Lt-Col. George Washington surrenders Fort Necessity to French Capt. Louis Coulon de Villiers.
# 1776 - American Independence Day: the United States Declaration of Independence by the Second Continental Congress declaring itself free of British rule.
# 1778 - Forces under George Rogers Clark capture Kaskaskia during the Illinois campaign.
# 1802 - At West Point, New York the United States Military Academy opens.
# 1803 - The Louisiana Purchase is announced to the American people.
# 1810 - The French occupy Amsterdam.
# 1817 - At Rome, New York, United States, construction on the Erie Canal begins.
# 1827 - Slavery is abolished in New York State.
# 1837 - Grand Junction Railway, the world's first long-distance railway, opens between Birmingham and Liverpool.
# 1838 - The Iowa Territory is organized.
# 1840 - The Cunard Line's 700 ton wooden paddle steamer RMS Britannia departs from Liverpool bound for Halifax, Nova Scotia on the first transatlantic crossing with a scheduled end.
# 1845 - Near Concord, Massachusetts, Henry David Thoreau embarks on a two-year experiment in simple living at Walden Pond (see Walden).
# 1855 - In Brooklyn, New York, the first edition of Walt Whitman's book of poems, titled Leaves of Grass, is published.
# 1859 - Austro-Sardinian War: the Battle of Magenta.
# 1862 - Lewis Carroll tells Alice Liddell a story that would grow into Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and its sequels.
# 1863 - American Civil War: Siege of Vicksburg - Vicksburg, Mississippi surrenders to Ulysses S. Grant after 47 days of siege. 150 miles up the Mississippi River, a Confederate Army is repulsed at the Battle of Helena, Arkansas.
# 1865 - Alice's Adventures in Wonderland is published.
# 1881 - In Alabama, the Tuskegee Institute opens.
# 1886 - The people of France offer the Statue of Liberty to the people of the United States.
# 1886 - The first scheduled Canadian transcontinental train arrives in Port Moody, British Columbia.
# 1887 - The founder of Pakistan, Quaid-i-Azam Muhammad Ali Jinnah, joins Sindh-Madrasa-tul-Islam, Karachi.
# 1892 - Western Samoa changes the International Date Line, so that year there were 367 days in this country, with two occurrences of Monday, July 4.
# 1894 - The short-lived Republic of Hawaii is proclaimed by Sanford B. Dole.
# 1910 - African-American boxer Jack Johnson knocks out white boxer Jim Jeffries in a heavyweight boxing match sparking race riots across the United States.
# 1918 - Ottoman sultan Mehmed VI ascends to the throne.
# 1918 - Bolsheviks kill Tsar Nicholas II of Russia and his family (Julian calendar date).
# 1927 - First flight of the Lockheed Vega.
# 1934 - Leo Szilard patents the chain-reaction design for the atomic bomb.
# 1939 - Lou Gehrig, recently diagnosed with Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, tells a crowd at Yankee Stadium that he considers himself "The luckiest man on the face of the earth" as he announces his retirement from major league baseball.
# 1941 - Nazi Germans massacre Polish scientists and writers in the captured Polish city of Lwów.
# 1946 - After 381 years of near-continuous colonial rule, the Philippines is granted full independence by the United States.
# 1947 - The "Indian Independence Bill" is presented before British House of Commons, suggesting bifurcation of British India into two sovereign countries - India and Pakistan.
# 1950 - The first broadcast by Radio Free Europe.
# 1959 - With the admission of Alaska as the 49th U.S. state earlier in the year, the 49-star flag of the United States debuts in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
# 1960 - Due to the post-Independence Day admission of Hawai'i as the 50th U.S. state on August 21, 1959, the 50-star flag of the United States debuts in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania almost ten and a half months later (see Flag Act).
# 1961 - Walt Disney is one of the two main speakers on the Independence Day in The Rebild Hills at Skørping in Denmark
# 1966 - President Lyndon B. Johnson signs the Freedom of Information Act into United States law. The act goes into effect the next year.
# 1966 - The Beatles, in the Phillipines to give two concerts, are accused of 'standing up' Imelda Marcos. Their entourage is beaten up at the airport.
# 1968 - Two teens are killed at Lake Herman Road in California. They were the first (known) victims of the Zodiac Killer.
# 1969 - The Ohio Fireworks Derecho kills 18 Ohioans and destroys over 100 boats on Lake Erie.
# 1976 - Israeli commandos raid Entebbe airport in Uganda, rescuing all but four of the passengers and crew of an Air France jetliner seized by Palestinian terrorists.
# 1982 - Iranian diplomats kidnapping (1982): four Iranian diplomats are kidnapped by Lebanese militia in Lebanon.
# 1987 - In France, former Gestapo chief Klaus Barbie (aka the "Butcher of Lyon") is convicted of crimes against humanity and is sentenced to life imprisonment.
# 1992 - USS George Washington (CVN-73), a Nimitz Class aircraft carrier of the United States Navy is commissioned at Norfolk, Virginia.
# 1993 - Sumitomo Chemical's resin plant in Nihama explodes killing one worker and injuring three others.
# 1997 - NASA's Pathfinder space probe lands on the surface of Mars.
# 2004 - The cornerstone of the Freedom Tower is laid on the site of the World Trade Center in New York City. (This was largely a symbolic event; actual construction would not start for several weeks)
# 2005 - The Deep Impact collider hits the comet Tempel 1.
# 2006 - Space Shuttle program: STS-121 Mission - Space Shuttle Discovery launches at 18:37:55 UTC.
# 2006 - North Korea tests four short-range missiles, one medium-range missile, and a long-range Taepodong-2. The long-range Taepodong-2 reportedly fails in mid-air over the Sea of Japan/East Sea.
# 2007 - The Zaca Fire starts in Santa Barbara, California, becoming the second-largest fire in California history.[

7/4/2008 10:36:54 PM

Jul 5 1946

Louis Reard's latest swimsuit creation, the two-piece Bikini, goes on sale in Paris.

Jul 5 1948

The body of 29-year-old actress Carole Landis is discovered in her home in Brentwood Heights, California. Landis, whose film career had recently stalled, overdosed on Seconal and left behind a suicide note addressed to her mother.

Jul 5 1963

The Catholic Church finally sanctions cremation as an acceptable means of remains disposal. (Code of Canon Law, Can. 1176)

Jul 5 1984

In deciding United States v. Leon, the Supreme Court permits "good faith" exceptions the exclusionary rule. Illegal evidence is now admissible if obtained by the police in "good faith." Justice William Brennan writes, "The Court's victory over the Fourth Amendment is complete."

7/5/2008 12:52:10 PM

Jul 6 1415

Jan Hus is burned at the stake for various heresies by the Council of Constance. Among other things, Hus had incited the citizens of Prague to protest against antipope John XXIII and his policy of granting indulgences.

Jul 6 1944

Fire breaks out at a matinee performance of the Ringling Brothers, Barnum and Baily Circus burning 168 people to death, and injuring an additional 250. The main tent had been waterproofed with wax thinned by gasoline. Said one of the Flying Wallendas, "I can never look down at a crowd again without smelling the flames and the burning flesh."

Jul 6 1945

The Joint Chiefs of Staff approve Operation OVERCAST, intended to "exploit ... chosen rare minds whose continuing intellectual productivity we wish to use." The directive authorizes the immigration of up to 350 German and Austrian specialists, primarily experts in rocketry. Operation OVERCAST is later renamed Project PAPERCLIP.

7/6/2008 7:52:27 PM

^^ my Dad's birthday

7/6/2008 7:53:52 PM

Jul 7 1348

The Black Death makes its first appearance in England.

Jul 7 1665

King Charles II and his entourage flee London, a city suffering the ravages of the black plague. At this point, about 2,000 Londoners are dying weekly.

Jul 7 1942

Himmler gives the go-ahead for sterilization experiments at Auschwitz.

Jul 7 1970

46 people are shot dead in the downtown area during a five-day race riot in Asbury Park, New Jersey.

7/7/2008 12:12:41 PM

Jul 8 1932

Tod Browning's groundbreaking horror movie Freaks, featuring genuine carnival sideshow performers, premieres at the Rialto theater in New York. The film opens to critical outrage, and is later banned by the British government for 30 years.

Jul 8 1976

Former President Richard M. Nixon is disbarred by the New York Bar Association. Nixon attempted to resign voluntarily, as he had from the California and U.S. Supreme Court bars, but New York refused to accept his resignation unless he acknowledged that he had obstructed justice during the Watergate coverup.

Jul 8 1987

Kitty Dukakis, wife of Democratic presidential candidate Governor Michael Dukakis, reveals that she was formerly addicted to amphetamines. Kitty waits until after the November election to acknowledge her raging alcoholism, however.

Jul 8 1997

Michael Kennedy, son of Robert F. Kennedy, publicly apologizes to his children's babysitter, with whom he had a five year relationship starting when she was age 14. The local district attorney declines to press charges, but Kennedy winds up dead in an apparent skiing accident five months later.

7/8/2008 1:57:36 PM

July 11, 2006

jackleg is detoxed and gets home and officially flushes the rest of his stash.

7/8/2008 1:58:44 PM

Jul 9 1952

Musical genius and all-around renaissance man John Tesh is born in Garden City, New York.

Jul 9 1980

Seven faithful are trampled in a stampede during a papal visit to Brazil by John Paul II. Way to go!

Jul 9 1982

Michael Fagan, dressed in jeans and a dirty t-shirt, and bleeding from a fresh cut on his hand, walks into the private bedroom of Queen Elizabeth II while she is asleep and her personal guard out walking her dogs. Fagan had scaled the wall surrounding Buckingham Palace and gained entry without triggering any alarms. The two carry on a 12-minute conversation, while the intruder holds a jagged broken ashtray, before somebody finally apprehends him.

Jul 9 1986

After spending one year and half a million dollars, the Attorney General's Commission on Pornography releases their two-volume, 1960-page final report. In contrast to the 1970 Presidential Commission on Pornography, the report finds that porn causes violent sex crimes and other antisocial activities. Afterwards, one impartial commission member admits: "I, for one, have no hesitation in condemning nearly every specimen of pornography that we have examined in the course of our deliberations as tasteless, offensive, lewd and indecent. According to my values, these materials are themselves immoral, and to the extent that they encourage immoral behavior they exert a corrupting influence on the family and the moral fabric of society."

Jul 9 1995

Disgruntled postal worker William Clark kills his supervisor, in the City of Industry, California.

Jul 9 1997

Mike Tyson banned from boxing for one year, and fined $3M for biting Evander Holyfield's ear off in a mysterious cajun ritual.

Jul 9 1997

Attempting to spring him from the Arizona state prison at Florence, Rebecca Thornton meets her husband Floyd at the perimeter fence with a rifle. There the escape plan goes haywire, and Rebecca shoots her death-row husband after he instructs her: "Shoot me! I'm sorry things went wrong. Shoot me! Shoot me!" Then they are both gunned down by the guards.

Jul 10 1856

Inventor and electromechanical genius Nikola Tesla is born to Serbian parents in what is now Croatia.

Jul 10 1923

Hailstones as heavy as two pounds kill 23 people in Rostov, Russia.

Jul 10 1972

A herd of angry, startled elephants emerges from India's Chandka Forest, and tramples five villages, killing 24 inhabitants.

Jul 10 1984

British customs officials in London open a large wooden crate marked "diplomatic baggage" because of its extremely odd odor. Inside they discover Alhaji Umaru Dikko, Nigeria's former Minister of Transport and Aviation. He had been abducted, drugged, and bound for Nigeria to face trial for embezzlement.

Jul 10 1985

Greenpeace ship Rainbow Warrior is blown up by in Auckland Harbor, killing a photographer. After the New Zealand government determines that French secret agents were responsible, the French Defense Minister resigns and the agents are jailed.

Jul 10 1992

Panamanian dictator Manuel Noriega sentenced to 40 years in prison for eight counts of drug trafficking, money laundering, and racketeering.

7/10/2008 1:15:34 PM

Jul 11 1804

Former Treasury Secretary Alexander Hamilton and sitting Vice President Aaron Burr duel in Weehawken, New Jersey after Hamilton allegedly slandered Burr during a political dinner in New York. Hamilton is shot in the liver and dies the next day. Meanwhile, Burr lives on to finish his term in office and is eventually tried for treason after attempting to raise an army and seize land for himself, either in Mexico or the Louisiana Territory.

Jul 11 1812

The United States invades Canada, in what is actually America's involvement in the Napoleonic world war. (Yes, there were two World Wars before WWI.)

Jul 11 1945

For the first time, Napalm powder is mixed with gasoline and sprayed on live human beings. This feat is achieved by U.S. Army forces against the Japanese on Luzon in the Philippines.

In grand Internet tradition, we now give you the recipe to produce this horrible substance: Take styrofoam, add benzene and gasoline; ignite; pour on [insert ethnic slur here].

Jul 11 1979

The derelict space station Skylab finally returns to Earth, ignominiously breaking into 500 separate fragments which are swallowed by the Indian Ocean. That is, except for the ones which crash into Woorlba Sheep Station, near Balladonia in Western Australia. Shortly thereafter, President Jimmy Carter telephones the prime minister of that country to apologize for scattering NASA litter on his nation.

Jul 11 1994

In the garage of her home in Universal City, California, Shannon Michelle Wilsey commits suicide with a .40 caliber Beretta. Wilsey -- better known as porn superstar Savannah -- had made lots of enemies during her career. Her obituary in Screw magazine runs beneath the headline DING DONG THE BITCH IS DEAD.

Jul 11 1997

Bodybuilder and wannabe actor Jonathan Norman is arrested for trespassing on Steven Spielberg's estate in Malibu, California. Believing that the film director "wanted to be raped," Norman had brought along a kit containing handcuffs, duct tape, nipple clamps, chloroform, and a stun gun.

7/11/2008 9:31:02 PM

Quote :

"Jul 11 1997 Bodybuilder and wannabe actor Jonathan Norman is arrested for trespassing on Steven Spielberg's estate in Malibu, California. Believing that the film director "wanted to be raped," Norman had brought along a kit containing handcuffs, duct tape, nipple clamps, chloroform, and a stun gun."

7/11/2008 9:32:16 PM

Quote :

"Michael Fagan, dressed in jeans and a dirty t-shirt, and bleeding from a fresh cut on his hand, walks into the private bedroom of Queen Elizabeth II while she is asleep and her personal guard out walking her dogs. Fagan had scaled the wall surrounding Buckingham Palace and gained entry without triggering any alarms. The two carry on a 12-minute conversation, while the intruder holds a jagged broken ashtray, before somebody finally apprehends him."

I would love to know the details of that conversation.

7/11/2008 9:37:02 PM

Jul 12 1843

Mormon numero uno Joseph Smith discloses a divine revelation instructing his followers to take multiple wives, in what the LDS Church calls "plural marriage" but everyone else calls polygamy. The Mormons are ultimately forced to disclaim the practice in September 1890.

Jul 12 1979

Bonanno boss Carmine Galante, the "cigar problem", is whacked at Joe and Mary's Restaurant in Brooklyn. Galante dies with a cigar still in his mouth. Almost everyone in the New York mob feared the ruthless crime boss, so the killing was sactioned by the consensus of Paul Castellano, Joe Bonanno, and Santo Trafficante.

Jul 12 1979

It is "Disco Demolition Night" at Chicago's Comiskey Park, where baseball tickets cost only $.98 if the purchaser brings along a disco record for the bonfire. During the second game of the doubleheader, thousands of vinyl LPs fly onto the field, generating enough chaos that the White Sox are forced to forfeit.

Jul 12 1996

Combative TV talk show host Morton Downey Jr., a former board member of the National Smokers Alliance who unfailingly smoked on the air, undergoes lung cancer surgery at Cedars-Sinai in Los Angeles. Shortly thereafter, Downey begins a nationwide anti-smoking crusade.

Jul 12 1997

Having secured his homemade bungee cord to the Lake Accotink Park train trestle in Springfield, Virginia, fast-food worker Eric A. Barcia leaps into the 70 foot drop. A couple of seconds later, he hits the pavement full-force and dies on the spot. During assembly, Barcia had carefully measured the equipment and made certain it was somewhat shorter than 70 feet, yet he neglected to consider the elasticity of his creation.

Jul 13 1793

French revolutionary writer Jean Paul Marat is stabbed to death in his bathtub by Charlotte Corday, as she gives him a list of names to be guillotined. The assassination inspired the famous painting by Jacques Louis David; Corday was executed four days after slaying Marat.

Jul 13 1917

The first appearance of the Blessed Virgin Mary to three young shepherd children in Fatima, Portugal. A later apparition that year was witnessed by 70,000 people in some manner of mass hallucination. The B.V.M. entrusted the children with three prophecies of the coming apolcalypse, the third of which the Vatican retains in a locked wooden box, refusing to reveal it until after 1960. (They don't get around to it until 2000.)

Jul 13 1946

Cheech Marin's birthday. He's actually (gasp) Iranian, and his name is Richard.

Jul 13 1985

President Ronald Reagan has a polyp removed from his colon.

Jul 13 1994

Tonya Harding's ex-husband, Jeff Gillooly, is sentenced in Portland, Oregon, to two years in prison for his role in the attack on Nancy Kerrigan. He serves six months.

7/14/2008 1:14:45 AM

Jul 15 1205

In a letter to the French clergy, Pope Innocent III declares that the Jews are consigned to continual subjugation just for crucifying our Lord and Savior. In the words of the Pope, the Jews "shall not dare raise their neck, bowed under the yoke of perpetual slavery."

Jul 15 1857

During an uprising, the group of British women and children being held by rebels in Chawnpore, India are cut to pieces with knives and hatchets. Then their remains are tossed into a well. When British forces finally retake Chawnpore, the captured rebels are taken back to the house where the slaughter took place. Then they are forced to lick the floors clean, after which they are hanged.

Jul 15 1864

A train containing hundreds of Confederate prisoners through Shohola, PA crashes head on with a coal train. The trains were off schedule because of an escape attempt. 74 people, mostly prisoners, died.

Jul 15 1869

During war with Prussia, French ruler Napoleon III commissions Hippolye Mege Mouries to find a butter substitute. A patent for margarine is issued, it being based on beef fat instead of milk fat. But even with the tactically superior spread, the war is still lost.

Jul 15 1974

During a live broadcast of the Sarasota, Florida morning news program Suncoast Digest, newscaster Chris Chubbuck tells the audience: "In keeping with Channel 40's policy of bringing you the latest in blood and guts, and in living color, you are going to see another first: an attempted suicide." Then she blows her brains out with a .38 revolver.

Jul 15 1997

Fashion designer/fabulous homosexual Gianni Versace is assassinated outside his Miami Beach home by a crazed manwhore.

7/15/2008 4:13:28 AM

Jul 16 1054

The 'Great Schism' between the Western and Eastern churches began over rival claims of universal pre-eminence. (In 1965, 911 years later, Pope Paul VI and Patriarch Athenagoras I met to declare an end to the schism.)

Jul 16 1860

A decree from Emperor Norton I of San Francisco, Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico, dissolves the United States of America.

Jul 16 1917

The Bolsheviks execute the Czar, Czarina, and their children. Contrary to popular mythos, Anastasia did not escape. DNA tests in the 1990's conclude that the woman who was posing as Anastasia was instead a batty old woman.

Jul 16 1927

Industrialist Henry Ford settles a $1 million libel suit brought by labor organizer Aaron Sapiro. Ford's newsweekly, The Dearborn Independent, had accused Sapiro of being part of a conspiracy of "Jewish bankers" to seize control of national wheat production and hand it over to the Communists.

Jul 16 1945

First Atomic Bomb is exploded at Trinity, Alamagordo New Mexico. The exposion yields the equivalent 18,000 tons of TNT.

Jul 16 1964

In 1964, in accepting the Republican presidential nomination in San Francisco, Sen. Barry M. Goldwater said "extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice" and that "moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue."

Jul 16 1973

During the Senate's Watergate hearings, former White House aide Alexander Butterfield reveals that President Nixon has a secret tape recording system with lavalier microphones hidden throughout the Oval Office.

Jul 16 1998

An inattentive deputy sheriff in Lafayette, IN, drives his automobile into the stolen tombstone of actor James Dean. The 400 pound tombstone, which was stolen two days prior from Dean's gravesite at Park Cemetery (and later abandoned on a country road), rips the transmission out of the deputy's vehicle.

We've gone full circle.

7/16/2008 9:30:51 PM

Quote :

" Jul 15 1974 During a live broadcast of the Sarasota, Florida morning news program Suncoast Digest, newscaster Chris Chubbuck tells the audience: "In keeping with Channel 40's policy of bringing you the latest in blood and guts, and in living color, you are going to see another first: an attempted suicide." Then she blows her brains out with a .38 revolver."

OH SNAP!!

7/16/2008 9:39:09 PM

Jul 17 1793

In return for attempting to obviate civil war, Charlotte Corday is publicly executed. Four days prior, she had assassinated influential French radical Jean-Paul Marat by stabbing him in the bathtub. Immediately after slicing it off, the executioner lifts Corday's head out of the guillotine's basket and slaps it on both cheeks.

Jul 17 1917

Britain's King George V issues a royal proclamation changing his family's surname from Hanover to Windsor. Thus, everyone is fooled into believing that a bunch of inbred krauts are really English. Which is convenient, because England just so happens to be at war with Germany.

Jul 17 1918

With counter-revolutionary forces advancing steadily on the city, the Bolsheviks holding captive Czar Nicholas II invite him and his family into the basement for a portrait. The Romanovs and their servants, expecting a photography session, wind up on the business end of a firing squad. Their bodies are dragged outside and buried in an unmarked mass grave.

Jul 17 1936

General Francisco Franco seizes control of the Canary Islands, signaling the start of the three-year Spanish Civil War.

Jul 17 1944

At 10:18 pm, the merchant ship SS E.A. Bryan, packed with 4,606 tons of ammunition, suddenly explodes at the Port Chicago naval base north of Oakland, California. The apocalyptic blast breaks windows in San Francisco, 48 miles away, and the seismic shock is felt as far as Boulder City, Nevada. All 320 personnel on duty, most of them negro ordnance loaders, are killed instantly.

Jul 17 1952

David Hasselhoff's birthday! Yay for David! Yay for Germany! (credits: Revenge of the Cheerleaders)

Jul 17 1955

Disneyland opens in Anaheim, California. In the words of Walt Disney, "That place is my baby, and I would prostitute myself for it."

Jul 17 1968

Premiere of the drug-induced, Big Blue Meanie-infested cartoon Beatle film Yellow Submarine, at the London Pavilion.

Jul 17 1992

Axl Rose is arrested for assault in St Louis, Missouri.

Jul 17 1996

TWA flight 800 explodes off Long Island NY, killing 230 passengers. The explosion, whose cause was not terrorist related, is used as an excuse by the FBI to ask for restrictions on civil liberties.

7/17/2008 12:52:16 PM

Quote :

"Jul 17 1952 David Hasselhoff's birthday! Yay for David! Yay for Germany!"

YAY!

7/17/2008 12:58:32 PM

July 17, 1203 - The Fourth Crusade captures Constantinople by assault. The Byzantine emperor Alexius III Angelus flees from his capital into exile.

The city soon became the seat of the Latin Empire, which lasted until 1261.

[Edited on July 17, 2008 at 1:29 PM. Reason : ]

7/17/2008 1:28:03 PM

Jul 18 64

Nero fiddles while Rome burns.

Jul 18 1290

After having imprisoned and ransomed 3,000 of them in 1287, King Edward I issues an edict expelling all Jews from England. The nation's Jewry, which financed the crusade against the Saracens, had by this time outlived their usefulness as bankers and were given until the end of October to emigrate.

Jul 18 1870

At the end of Vatican I, Catholic popes are proclaimed infallible by chapter four of the papal bull Pastor Aeternus. His declarations on matters of faith are protected from error by the Holy Spirit. In a nutshell: whatever he says, goes. This is an interesting doctrine, considering how often St. Peter is himself contradicted by the Gospels.

Jul 18 1925

Max Amann publishes Mein Kampf ("My Struggle"), the book Adolf Hitler had dictated while under house arrest. The work happens to be just as tedious as its original title, Four and Half Years of Struggle against Lies, Stupidity, and Cowardice.

Jul 18 1966

In Los Angeles, the beaten corpse of Bobby Fuller is found sprawled across the front seat of his mother's Oldsmobile. Fuller, whose band The Bobby Fuller Four released the hit "I Fought The Law," is found to have died from "forced inhalation of gasoline." Technically, Fuller died from huffing... although circumstances point to murder.

Jul 18 1969

Driving home from a party on Chappaquiddick Island, Senator Ted Kennedy's car goes over the side of Dike Bridge and flips over into a pond. Kennedy manages to free himself from the automobile, but his passenger, one Mary Jo Kopechne, drowns. For some reason, Kennedy tells no one about the accident for at least an hour, and waits until the following morning to notify local police.

Jul 18 1984

James Oliver Huberty walks into a crowded McDonald's restaurant in San Ysidro, California and starts shooting. Carrying an Uzi carbine, a 12-gauge shotgun, and a Browning 9mm pistol, Huberty guns down 40 people. 21 of them, mostly children, die from their wounds. A San Diego police sniper finally solves the situation more than an hour later. Ultimately, the McDonald's Corporation opts to bulldoze the franchise and build a community park there.

Jul 18 1984

Movie actor and wannabe boxer Mickey Rourke is arrested for beating his wife. The charges are later dismissed.

Jul 18 1988

Rock and Roll performer / heroin addict Nico wipes out on her bicycle on Ibiza and dies from a brain hemorrage combined with a lack of medical treatment.

7/18/2008 8:12:06 AM

Jul 19 1692

Five Salem witches are hanged for the crime of witchcraft, based primarily on the accusations of little girls who were bewitched. Eventually, the village executes a total of 20 witches.

Jul 19 1937

The Nazis open "Entartete Kunst," the Degenerate Art show, in Munich. The traveling exhibition offers up Expressionism for ridicule, carefully arranged by (offensive) subject. The German youth are not admitted, lest they become tainted.

Jul 19 1952

During a series of UFO sightings in Washington, D.C. occurring over July 13-29, unidentified objects are picked up on D.C.'s National Airport radar system. Sightings in the region are so extensive the Air Force is prompted to hold a press conference. Conveniently, these are all "radar mirages" resulting from "temperature inversions."

Jul 19 1957

Michael Landon stars in his first film, I Was a Teenage Werewolf. He must have been so proud.

Jul 19 1966

Frank Sinatra marries Mia Farrow in Las Vegas. Ava Gardner's famous comment on the union: "Hah! I always knew Frank would end up in bed with a little boy!"

Jul 19 1991

Heavyweight boxer Mike Tyson rapes Desiree Washington, one of the Miss Black America contestants, after a pageant rehearsal. The illicit nookie lands Tyson in prison for three years.

Jul 19 1993

President Clinton unveils the universally-unpopular "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" rule. One person summarizes the policy: "the military now permits gays to remain in the military, provided they don't act like fairies."

7/19/2008 12:48:27 PM

Jul 20 1923

While driving his 1919 Dodge, retired revolutionary Pancho Villa is ambushed and assassinated. But even with 16 gunshot wounds he still manages to kill one of his attackers. Curiously, Villa's head is stolen from his grave three years later and never recovered. Despite persistent rumors, Yale's secret society Skull and Bones denies they possess the artifact.

Jul 20 1944

In an attempt on Hitler's life, a timebomb explodes in the situation room of the Wolf's Lair, killing four Nazi officers but only wounding the Fuhrer. After his close call, Hitler becomes even more paranoid. A massive purge is to follow, resulting in the execution of thousands of officers.

Jul 20 1951

In Jerusalem at the al-Aqsa Mosque, King Abdullah of Jordan is shot three times in the head and chest by Mustapha Shukri Usho, a Palestinian opposed to peace with Israel. Abdullah dies on the spot.

Jul 20 1969

On live television, the world watches as Neil Armstrong steps foot on the Moon. That is, unless it was faked.

Jul 20 1973

In Hong Kong, martial artist Bruce Lee drops into a coma and dies of cerebral edema. He had been experiencing brain problems beginning in May, which included sporadic loss of consciousness. Lee's death transpires shortly before the release of Enter the Dragon, his most successful film.

Jul 20 1994

O.J. Simpson offers a $500,000 reward for information leading to the capture of the Real Killers. To this day progress remains elusive, although Simpson's golf score has improved somewhat.

7/20/2008 2:39:12 PM

Quote :

"Jul 20 1973 In Hong Kong, martial artist Bruce Lee drops into a coma and dies of cerebral edema. He had been experiencing brain problems beginning in May, which included sporadic loss of consciousness. Lee's death transpires shortly before the release of Enter the Dragon, his most successful film."

Bruce Lee was the fucking shiznit.

7/22/2008 2:39:58 AM

what about yesterday and today?

7/22/2008 10:54:10 PM

Jul 21 365

Earthquake destroys the ancient Egyptian city of Alexandria, causing the sea to recede and then re-enter the city with tremendous force. Many of those not killed by collapsing buildings were drowned. Fifty thousand die.

Jul 21 1913

Thirty-five negro inmates roast in their cells when the Oakley Prison Farm in Jackson, Mississippi catches fire.

Jul 21 1919

Two passengers, a mechanic and 10 bank employees are killed in Chicago when a Goodyear blimp, the Winged Foot Express, catches fire and crashes through the roof of the Illinois Trust and Savings Bank.

Jul 21 1925

John Scopes is found guilty of teaching evolution in a Tennessee public school. The jury fines him $100.

Jul 21 1972

In Milwaukee, George Carlin is arrested for obscenity and disorderly conduct for performing his "Seven Dirty Words" routine in front of a group of wheelchair-bound children. He is released after posting $150 bail.

Jul 21 1981

Mark David Chapman is sentenced to 20 years in prison for the shooting of John Lennon. His only response is to read a passage from a J.D. Salinger novel. Chapman currently works as a janitor in Attica State Prison.

Jul 22 1376

The Pied Piper of Hamelin makes off with the town's rats and children.

Jul 22 1587

Roanoke, the colony founded by Sir Walter Raleigh, is found to be missing.

Jul 22 1934

John Dillinger is killed by the FBI at the Biograph Cinema in Chicago. After seeing this picture, many people come to believe that he must have possessed an enormous schlong. Actually, it is his arm in rigor mortis. (A competing theory holds that this is not Dillinger at all, but some patsy chosen because of the FBI's inability to capture the gangster.)

Jul 22 1946

91 people are killed in Jerusalem, when the Jewish terror group Irgun bombs the British administrative headquarters, located in the King David Hotel.

Jul 22 1991

Tracy Edwards escapes from Jeffrey Dahmer's apartment, handcuffs still attached. After being summoned to the scene, Milwaukee police encounter the partial remains of 11 previous victims. Dahmer is ultimately charged with 15 murders.

Jul 22 1994

In court, O.J. pleads "absolutely, 100% not guilty" of savagely killing his ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and her friend Ronald Goldman.

7/22/2008 11:14:04 PM

Quote :

"Jul 22 1587 Roanoke, the colony founded by Sir Walter Raleigh, is found to be missing."

that lady on Cold Case could figure it out.

7/22/2008 11:21:08 PM

Jul 23 1944

The Red Cross is finally allowed to tour the Theresienstadt ghetto, only nine months after their initial request. The Nazis spent the time constructing fake stores, cafes, schools, and flower gardens. Ultimately, the ICRC finds conditions in the camp only moderately acceptable. Following the inspection, the Nazis produce a propaganda film in the "model Jewish settlement." Then they ship most of the cast off to Auschwitz.

Jul 23 1967

After 73 negroes are arrested at a nightclub in Detroit, a race riot breaks out and continues for seven days. 43 people are killed, more than 2,000 injured, and at least 1,400 acts of arson. On a positive note, store looting is perpetrated by both blacks and whites.

Jul 23 1972

Organizational meetings are held at the Rockefeller estate for the Trilateral Commission, a group of powerbrokers representing the U.S., Europe, and Japan. Rockefeller, Jimmy Carter, Walter Mondale, and Zbigniew Brzezinski attend. If you ever wonder who THEY are, it's them.

Jul 23 1982

Vic Morrow is killed filming a stunt sequence for Twilight Zone: The Movie near Valencia, California. Morrow and two child actors are chopped into bits by the main rotor when a helicopter positioned dangerously close to the talent suddenly crashes.

Jul 23 1984



Vanessa Williams, the first black Miss America, relinquishes her crown after Penthouse magazine announced its plans to publish lesbian-themed photos of her in its September issue. Prior to entering the Miss America contest Williams had certified having committed no embarrassing acts of "moral turpitude."

Jul 23 1996

Harry Morgan, Col. Potter on TV's M*A*S*H, is arraigned on charges of spousal abuse. LAPD officers responding to a 911 call at the couple's Brentwood, California home had discovered his wife Barbara bruised and bleeding from her face.

Jul 23 1997

Andrew Cunanan, the homosexual serial killer whose five victims included fashion designer Gianni Versace, is found dead on the houseboat he was squatting in. Self-inflicted gunshot wound.

Jul 24 1704

After a three-day siege, a force of 1,800 English and Dutch troops seizes Gibraltar from Spain. In 1713, the Treaty of Utrecht officially deeds it to Great Britain, who never gives it back.

Jul 24 1915

Almost 800 Western Electric employees and their family members perish when the chartered steamer Eastland rolls over in Chicago harbor. History blames the top-heaviness of the ship, exacerbated (ironically) by the recent addition of lifeboats.

Jul 24 1980

Comedic actor Peter Sellers dies of a heart attack in the Dorchester Hotel, London.

Jul 24 1993

After a game in Los Angeles, New York Mets outfielder Vince Coleman tosses an M-100 firecracker at a crowd of baseball fans in Dodger Stadium's parking lot. The firework injures three children waiting for autographs, including two-year-old Amanda Santos. Coleman spends 200 hours performing community service and the rest of the year not playing professional baseball.

Jul 24 1998

Russell E. Weston Jr., who believed Navy Seals were hiding in his cornfield, kills two cops and wounds a civilian with a .38 at the U.S. Capitol building. It is later revealed that Weston is a schizophrenic who stopped taking his medication. Two days prior to the Capitol shooting, at his grandmother's insistence, Weston shot and killed his family's 25 cats because they had fleas.

Jul 24 1999

Former Guns N' Roses guitarist "Slash" is arrested in West Hollywood for allegedly beating his girlfriend at the Le Parc Hotel five days prior.

Jul 24 2002

By a vote of 420 to 1, James Traficant is expelled from the House of Representatives for a variety of abuses, chiefly: bribery, tax evasion, and racketeering. Traficant himself could not vote on the matter; the sole vote against expulsion came from embattled Congressman Gary Condit. Primarily he will be remembered for his magnificent toupee. At least we think it's a toupee.

7/25/2008 2:50:32 AM

Quote :

"Jul 24 1915 Almost 800 Western Electric employees and their family members perish when the chartered steamer Eastland rolls over in Chicago harbor."

Wow, I wonder if this has anything to do with my great-grandfather...he supposedly came to North Carolina from Illinois because he was peripherally involved in or affected by some big catastrophe with Western Electric, and the stress started affecting his health. The timing is about right, anyway.

7/25/2008 4:18:17 AM

Jul 25 1485

In Toledo, Spain, over 400 dead bodies are charged with heresy and burned in effigy, in a great public spectacle. What a wonderful thing, this Spanish Inquisition.

Jul 25 1917

Margaret Zelle, also known as Mata Hari, is found guilty of spying and is sentenced to death. There is no actual evidence that she is a spy.

Jul 25 1985

Rock Hudson acknowledges he has AIDS.

Jul 25 1990

At a baseball game, actress Rosanne Arnold warbles the Star Spangled Banner, grabs her crotch, and endears herself to an entire nation.

Jul 25 1999

Woodstock '99 festival ends in looting and rioting, leaving 12 trailers burned, towers toppled, and several women raped during the course of the show. About 500 state troopers were needed to quell the mass uprising of peace and love, apparently triggered by overpriced vendors and commercialization.

Jul 25 2000

A right tire explosion on the Concorde causes the plane to crash after takeoff from Charles de Gaulle Airport in Paris, leaving 113 dead. It is the first crash in Concorde's history, and the only supersonic commercial flight to ever crash.

7/25/2008 11:07:45 PM

Quote :

"Jul 25 2000 A right tire explosion on the Concorde causes the plane to crash after takeoff from Charles de Gaulle Airport in Paris, leaving 113 dead. It is the first crash in Concorde's history, and the only supersonic commercial flight to ever crash."

Anyone ever been on a Concorde?

7/25/2008 11:24:40 PM

Jul 26 1826

Schoolmaster Cayetano Ripoll is hanged in Valencia, after uttering his last words: "I die reconciled to God and to man." He is the last person executed by the Spanish Inquisition.

Jul 26 1947

The National Security Council is created.

Jul 26 1984

Serial killer and cannibal Ed Gein dies at the Mendota Mental Health Institute, a home for the criminally insane. Gein inspired the films Psycho and Silence of the Lambs.

Jul 26 1991

Actor Paul Reubens (aka "Pee-wee Herman") is arrested in Sarasota, Florida for jacking off twice with his left hand inside the South Trail XXX Cinema. It was screening the triple feature Catalina Five-O: Tiger Shark, Nancy Nurse, and Turn Up The Heat. Following his masturbatorial debut, Reubens loses his children's television show and product endorsements.

Jul 26 1998

Three spectators are killed by flying debris during the U.S. 500 race at Michigan Speedway. The debris resulted when the car driven by Adrian Fernandez impacted the wall of the raceway, flinging pieces of his suspension into the crowd. Tragically, Fernandez' knees are lightly bruised in the accident and he is unable to complete the race.

7/26/2008 6:54:25 PM

Jul 27 1890

At the Chateau d'Auvers, Vincent van Gogh presses a revolver to his chest and pulls the trigger. Somehow the bullet misses the vital organs, and the painter manages to stumble over to a friend's house. The following night, Van Gogh dies of an infection in the arms of his brother Theo.

Jul 27 1980

Mohammad Reza Shah Pahlavi, the exiled Shah of Iran, dies of lymphatic cancer in Cairo.

Jul 27 1996

During a celebration for the Atlanta Olympics, overfed security guard Richard Jewell notices a suspicious green knapsack in Centennial Park. He immediately alerts police and helps to clear people from the area shortly before the pipe bomb explodes. For his trouble, Jewell becomes the FBI's preliminary suspect and news organizations run wild with the story. Because he didn't do it, numerous media outlets end up paying him large undisclosed settlements. Also, the FBI uses the event as an excuse to lobby for further clampdowns on civil liberties.

Jul 27 2002

A Sukhoi SU-27 fighter crashes and explodes at an air show in the Ukraine, killing 78 and injuring more than 100 others. It is the worst airshow crash in history. The two pilots ejected and survived.

Jul 28 1794

After his Reign of Terror turns against him, Maximilien Robespierre is guillotined in Paris.

Jul 28 1841

James Boulard and Henry Mallin pull the decomposed body of a young woman from the Hudson River near Hoboken, New Jersey. Mary Cecilia Rogers, who worked at a popular cigar store, is initially thought to have been killed in the course of a brutal gang rape, but ultimately it seems more likely that she died from a botched abortion. Years later, novelist Edgar Allen Poe adapts the sensational news story about "The Beautiful Cigar Girl" into the short story "The Mystery of Marie Roget."

Jul 28 1870

Andrew Carr is hanged at Richmond Prison, Dublin. He is dropped from too high, causing his head to separate from the rest of his body -- the greater portion of which twiches for several minutes.

Jul 28 1945

A US Army B-25 bomber crashes into the Empire State Building between the 78th and 79th floors. An engine plunges down an elevator shaft, sparking a fire in the basement. Eleven people in the building are killed, in addition to the three man bomber crew.

Jul 28 1957

A C-124 transport plane carrying three nuclear weapons jettisons its precious cargo into the Atlantic, somewhere east of Delaware and New Jersey. The bombs are never recovered.

[Edited on July 28, 2008 at 1:15 PM. Reason : .]

7/28/2008 1:14:24 PM

you gonna make with the sepuku or what

7/28/2008 1:16:48 PM

I was hoping that everyone would forget about that.

gunzz and I missed a lot of dates in the early days of this thread.

7/28/2008 4:41:55 PM

Jul 29 1921

The Council on Foreign Relations is incorporated in New York City by a group of bankers and other influentials, including John D Rockefeller. The CFR remains a vital component of the New World Order, and is surpassed in importance only by the Trilateral Commission. Now that you have this information, you know too much.

Jul 29 1921

Adolf Hitler is selected as leader of the National Socialist Party.

Jul 29 1941

The Grigglestone Colliery explodes, leaving 20 dead. We have no idea who or where or what this was -- but it did happen, and it bears repeating.

Jul 29 1968

Pope Paul VI issues encyclical Humanae Vitae, prohibiting all unnatural forms of birth control. He thereby answers the age-old question, "Does the Pope spurt in a condom?"

Jul 29 1974

Mama Cass Elliot, a very large part of The Mamas and the Papas, dies in London. Although initial reports ascribe the cause of death to choking on a ham sandwich, in actuality it was a heart attack.

Jul 30 1419

Hussites marching on the Prague Town Hall defenestrate (throw from windows to splatter down below) the Catholic city government, replacing them with a system of four Captains.

Jul 30 1938

In his Dearborn, Michigan office Henry Ford proudly accepts a Nazi medal on his 75th birthday. The Grand Cross of the Order of the German Eagle is the highest award the Reich can bestow on foreigners. The medal arrives with a note of personal greetings from Adolf Hitler. A rabid anti-semite, Ford paid for copies of the racist hoax Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion to be deposited in major U.S. libraries.

Jul 30 1975

Jimmy Hoffa probably dead. God we miss him.

Jul 30 1987

During the annual hajj, Saudi police open fire on a mob of pilgrims protesting America in Mecca. 402 Muslims, including 275 Iranians, are shot and killed during their "Renunciation of Infidels" rally. Iran boycotts the hajj for the next three years.

7/30/2008 1:08:31 PM

Jul 31 1941

Reichsmarschall Hermann Goering issues an order directing Reinhard Heydrich to carry out the final solution to the "Jewish question."

Jul 31 1945

Wearing a stolen army uniform, prisoner John Giles attempts to escape from Alcatraz island by boarding an outbound cargo boat. But instead of San Francisco, the vessel heads for Angel Island, where Giles is promptly captured.

Jul 31 1966

Beatles records are burned in Birmingham, Alabama -- only because John Lennon innocently declared that the band happens to be "more popular than Jesus."

Jul 31 1969

The San Francisco Chronicle, the Examiner, and the Vallejo Times-Herald receive nearly identical letters from the Zodiac Killer. Specific details are given about recent murder scenes, along with the demand that a "cipher" be printed on on the front page of the papers (or else Zodiac will go on a "ram-Page").

Jul 31 1998

Diminutive actor Gary Coleman, former child star of the ABC television sitcom Diff'rent Strokes, is arrested in Hawthorne, California for allegedly battering an autograph seeker in a uniform shop. Coleman, then a security guard at Fox Hills Mall, was shopping for a bulletproof vest.

Jul 31 1999

Police arrest James Donald Ray for fucking two sheep to death at El Capitan High School in Lakeside, California. A previous sexual attack against one of the sheep prompted the police stakeout, which nabs the 38-year-old in flagrante delicto cum ewe.

7/31/2008 1:28:26 PM

Aug 1 1589

King Henri III of France is assassinated by a crazy Jacobin monk. Among his crimes are opposing the Catholic League, and his love of... handsome young men.

Aug 1 1936

Adolf Hitler presides over the opening ceremony of the Olympics. The Chancellor of Germany announces: "I proclaim the games of Berlin, celebrating the eleventh Olympiad of the modern era, to be open." The whole thing makes for a great film by Leni Riefenstahl.

Aug 1 1954

The middle and lower reaches of the Yangtze River overflow, submerging 8 million acres. The floodwaters kill more than 30,000 Chinese and displace 18.9 million others.

Aug 1 1966

Former Eagle Scout and United States Marine Charles Whitman carries a sniper rifle onto University of Texas at Austin. There he climbs to the top of UT tower and begins firing indiscriminately at dozens of people, killing 13. Whitman is finally taken out 96 minutes later by three Austin PD officers.

Aug 1 1971

The Sonny and Cher Comedy Hour debuts on CBS television as a summer replacement show.

Aug 1 1981

Cable music network MTV launches, by airing "Video Killed the Radio Star" by The Buggles, followed by Pat Benatar's "You Better Run." That's right, kids: once upon a time, MTV actually played music videos.

Aug 1 1994

Trading on the NASDAQ stock market is halted for 34 minutes after a squirrel commits suicide by gnawing through a power line near the organization's computer center in Trumbull, Connecticut. Systems in place to perform automatic switchover to standby generators didn't exactly, uh, work.

8/1/2008 10:37:00 PM

Aug 2 1876

Drinking at a saloon in Deadwood, Dakota Territory, Jack McCall notices Wild Bill Hickok playing poker at a corner table. Then he calmly walks over to the table and blows a wide hole in the back of Hickok's head with a .45 revolver. The professional gambler and onetime lawman was holding a pair of Aces and a pair of eights, now known as the "Dead Man's Hand."

Aug 2 1923

President Warren G. Harding dies suddenly at the Palace Hotel in San Francisco. His wife Florence forbids an autopsy, and the President's body is embalmed shortly after death. It is speculated by many that the cause of death, initially reported as "a stroke of apoplexy," was in fact poison administered by the First Lady.

Aug 2 1990

After Kuwait refuses to waive Iraq's war debts, 100,000 Iraqi soldiers stream across the border and seize control of Kuwait City. Their troops outnumbered 5-to-1, the Kuwaitis mount no resistance whatsoever. In so doing, Saddam Hussein precipitates the first Gulf War.

8/2/2008 6:31:42 PM

Aug 3 1950

The U.S. Army knowingly kills hundreds of civilian refugees when Maj. General Hobart R. Gay gives the order to demolish the bridge, including refugees, over the Naktong River at Waegwan, Korea.

Aug 3 1963

Almost a year after the world barely averted World War III during the Cuban Missile Crisis, the Hotline between the Pentagon and the Kremlin goes live. The system consists of two teletype machines, with a full-time communications link routed through London, Copenhagen, Stockholm, and Helsinki.

Aug 3 1966

Comedian and social critic Lenny Bruce dies of a morphine overdose in his Hollywood Hills home, two years after his original obituary was published in The Realist. At the time of his death, Bruce was being maliciously harassed by police and districts attorney in various states for his groundbreaking standup performances, causing great difficulty in finding venues at which to perform.

Aug 3 1973

A fire kills 46 people at the Summerfield Amusement Park on the Isle of Man, United Kingdom.

Aug 3 1996

An angry God makes "Macarena" by Los Del Rio #1 on the pop charts. The accompanying dancing disease afflicts millions before final eradication.

8/3/2008 12:40:49 PM

Aug 4 1892

Someone takes an axe and kills Lizzie Borden's millionaire parents. Andrew receives 10 whacks, and Abby 14. Lizzie is later tried for the murders, but acquitted.

Aug 4 1964

Vietcong torpedo boats launch an unprovoked attack against the U.S.S. Maddox, while the destroyer is patrolling the Gulf of Tonkin. Except that it's only a hoax. Regardless, the Congress responds by passing the Gulf of Tonkin Resolution, authorizing President Johnson "to take all necessary measures to repel any armed attack against the forces of the United States and to prevent further aggression." Which is how we wound up napalming those babies.

Aug 4 1993

Japan finally acknowledges that it forced 200,000 Korean and Chinese "comfort women" to fuck members of its armed forces between 1932 and 1945. Japan apologizes for the "immeasurable pain and incurable psychological wounds" it inflicted by forcing these women to be state whores, but makes no offer to pay reparations.

Aug 4 1994

Howard Stern withdraws his candidacy for governor of New York, ostensibly to avoid complying with the financial disclosure laws.

8/4/2008 3:08:58 AM

neat.

8/4/2008 3:12:48 AM

Aug 5 1962

In her Brentwood, California home, Marilyn Monroe dies in bed, naked, after swallowing an overdose of sleeping pills. Or maybe she's killed by the CIA with a barbiturate enema. Either way, she's dead.

Aug 5 1980

The Osmonds musical group breaks up.

Aug 5 1983

Yankees outfielder Dave Winfield is charged in Toronto with cruelty to animals after fatally beaning a seagull with a baseball.

8/5/2008 12:08:35 PM

Aug 6 1890

Axe murderer William Kemmler becomes the first American executed by the Electric Chair, an invention created primarily to malign alternating current. It takes about four minutes for the electrons to kill the prisoner, by which time the odor of burnt flesh is inescapable. A newspaper headline the following morning reads KEMMLER WESTINGHOUSED, much to the glee of DC power proponent Thomas Edison.

Aug 6 1927

Andrew Warhola is born in Pittsburgh.

Aug 6 1945

At 9:15am, Col. Paul Tibbets releases "Little Boy" over Hiroshima and executes a hard, 159-degree turn. 40 seconds later, the Atomic Bomb detonates, yielding a 12.5 kiloton explosion and a huge, black mushroom cloud. About 45,000 people are killed immediately, and another 200,000 are killed in later years by leukemia and other radiation illnesses.

Aug 6 1970

750 unkempt Yippies show up at Disneyland, hell-bent "to liberate Minnie Mouse, have free rein of the park and infiltrate Tom Sawyer's Island," according to Youth International Party leaflets. Instead, they wind up scuffling with Disney security and other patrons, eventually prompting Anaheim police to close the park early and forcibly eject the dirty longhairs.

8/6/2008 11:46:00 AM

^ Andy Warhola was born in 1928

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andy_worhol

8/6/2008 3:10:50 PM

Aug 7 1882

Ellison Hatfield is stabbed 26 times and shot in the back by Tolbert McCoy and two of his brothers. Two days later, the Hatfield clan captures the three McCoys and executes them by firing squad. Thus begins generations of bloodshed between the families, ultimately causing about 100 casualties.

Aug 7 1953

Eisenhower signs legislation retroactively granting Ohio official statehood for the previous 150 years. In 1803, apparently everyone just assumed that Ohio was a state, even though Congress had never passed legislation to that effect. The nation remained blissfully unaware of this fact until nosy historians began snooping around in preparation for Ohio's sesquicentennial.

Aug 7 1956

A convoy of seven army trucks loaded with dynamite explodes in front of the railway terminal in Cali, Colombia. The downtown district is instantly leveled, killing 1,200 people and injuring thousands more in the process.

Aug 7 1960

Film and television actor David Duchovny is born in New York City. Two of his most popular TV roles include Special Agent Fox Mulder from The X-Files, and transvestite DEA agent Dennis Bryson in three episodes of Twin Peaks (second season, though).

Aug 7 1998

More than 100 are killed and 2,200 injured when the U.S. Embassies in Kenya and Tanzania are simultaneously struck by powerful car bombs. Nairobi is hit particularly hard, with a multitude of charred corpses littering the streets. Three months later, the United States indicts Osama bin Laden and Muhammad Atef in absentia for the attacks.

8/7/2008 3:05:50 AM

Thank jebus for Wikipedia.

8/7/2008 3:12:27 AM