I'm Big Business and i condone the use of page 11.

1/14/2009 11:08:00 AM

why is the water green?

are you interpreting the Valdez oil spill

1/14/2009 11:35:41 AM

it's green becuase she doesn't know how to fucking paint

1/14/2009 11:37:59 AM

^I ♥ you

1/14/2009 11:39:00 AM

Quote :

"is the sun blasting a lazer through the water its trying to hit that submarine, isn't it"

lulz

Quote :

"Tip #1 Paint more submarines Tip #2 Paint fewer trees Tip #3 Include complementary blowjobs with any art purchase"

more lulz

[Edited on January 14, 2009 at 11:44 AM. Reason : rollin']

1/14/2009 11:42:05 AM

^I laughed a little too loud at work after reading that one.

I'm glad Woodfoot is posting again.

1/14/2009 11:43:22 AM

just fighting the good fight

1/14/2009 11:44:23 AM

Bob Ross RIP

1/14/2009 11:45:12 AM

Apparently your sun has the same magnetic affliction as your cherry blossoms, in that it only points straight out from the canvas.

The sun is not God's Flashlight.

1/14/2009 11:55:16 AM

brush strokes?

bitch he used a fucking pallet knife and oils.... not some cheap ass acrylic and a toofbrush

^looks more like God's laser pointer

I usually don't like to be mean, but since i've been taking out all my evilness on here....

the first painting is, at best, amaturish, no one's gonna buy that unless it strikes them, and then, you won't get much, maybe $50? but since your cost of materials was more than that you're gonna be SOL

the sun/laser beam/submarine/boat/mess is almost worse. it's all too blurred together, all too much the same, then there's this huge black cancerlike blob there.... really the paint was better off in the tube

[Edited on January 14, 2009 at 11:58 AM. Reason : s]

1/14/2009 11:55:32 AM

my interpretation is more along the line of God's Goatse.cx

1/14/2009 11:57:43 AM

so that's what the black thing is?

1/14/2009 11:58:58 AM

FYI: in direct sunlight like that, most sails would tend to be slightly translucent, or at least they'd reflect a few photons. You have instead painted a sailboat-shaped black hole.

1/14/2009 12:02:50 PM

Quote :

"you don't understand how light works"

re: sailboat

1/14/2009 12:06:29 PM

looks more like a keyhole....

1/14/2009 12:10:39 PM

Artists portray things in the world around them, so it's important to study how the world works, or at least the characteristics of the part of the world you're portraying. I know you'll likely dismiss that by saying "LOL ABSTRACT" or citing some other artistic movement that you either haven't heard of or don't actually understand, but it's much like the analogy to writing. Great authors break the rules all the time, but it's important to learn the rules so that you know when it's ok to break them. There is a subtle but large distinction between breaking the rules in a way that reveals a skillful craftsman at work and in a way that reveals an uneducated hack bullshitting around.

1/14/2009 12:18:36 PM

NATURE

LOVES

FIBONACCI

1/14/2009 12:20:53 PM

Whats her etsy shop link?

1/14/2009 12:21:20 PM

if you read just half of this thread you will have no trouble shitting on her 'artwork' and not feeling bad about it.


however, shitting on her art would be superfluous.

[Edited on January 14, 2009 at 12:25 PM. Reason : ,]

1/14/2009 12:21:21 PM

^^ http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=6701542

1/14/2009 12:24:45 PM

I remember why I stopped reading this thread....What the fuck is wrong with some of you people? Learn things about some artist. Damnit. And before you call Jackson Pollocks work shit learn to be realistic about your own and try to work REALLY FUCKING hard on yours so that one day your work can be on the level of shit.

I really hate it when people don't put their worth in their art. That is the point it becomes as soulless as paint by number. So if you are just painting to paint then your art will never be worth anything. Not even shit.

1/14/2009 12:31:51 PM

i think there's only one person in this thread that fits that...

wow, one decent photo and one good photo and the rest is... well... sorry, drivel.

1/14/2009 1:42:09 PM

^^I take severe offense to that, especially from you. Didn't think you'd say things like that about someone.

I don't paint just to paint.

1/14/2009 7:18:50 PM

they you are clearly just a moron

1/14/2009 7:22:37 PM

Quote :

"they you are clearly just a moron "

I'm the moron?

1/14/2009 7:23:34 PM

lol

1/14/2009 7:25:04 PM

shit yeah, if you don't paint just to paint and your work comes out that bad? i'd say you have some sort of learning disability, yeah.

1/14/2009 7:26:17 PM

blahblahblah

I'm sorry you have no room to judge with a screen name like that


and HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY elise

1/14/2009 7:28:01 PM

haha with a screen name like what? this is a college message board, i probably have one of the more appropriate screen names on this site.

you have been looking for people to blow their load over art you've barely put any thought into at all.. and if you have put thought it's been bad thought... and when we don't eat it up you get butt hurt.

as an artist myself i am personally offended by how little study you think you can get away with and still come out with decent results.

1/14/2009 7:31:16 PM

Quote :

"is the sun blasting a lazer through the water its trying to hit that submarine, isn't it"

10/10

1/14/2009 7:34:38 PM

looks like a woman hung that shit

1/14/2009 7:37:23 PM

i think it was rocky dennis

1/14/2009 7:38:13 PM

this is my friend Ruth's LOLCAT oilpainting on etsy.

1/14/2009 10:32:04 PM

^ I would be creeped out if I saw that hanging in someone's living room.

Quote :

"if you don't paint just to paint and your work comes out that bad? i'd say you have some sort of learning disability, yeah."

I have a hard time believing that anyone else on here is a much better painter than what has been posted. Just because you think its bad doesn't make Kiwi retarded I know I can't paint any better lol.

1/15/2009 12:33:48 AM

again

its one thing to paint that

we have all dicked around with a medium we're not familiar with and had results we're not proud of

BUT SHE IS SELLING THIS SHIT
AND ASKING FOR PRICES IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD OF $250

1/15/2009 1:00:29 AM

You never know until you try and WHEN I sell that "shit" I will be happy to rub it in your face!

It's not about making the money, it's about opening doors to opportunity.

1/15/2009 1:13:39 AM

thats a very conditional "if-then" statement right there

best of luck at your hackery

1/15/2009 1:26:51 AM

Quote :

"BUT SHE IS SELLING THIS SHIT AND ASKING FOR PRICES IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD OF $250"

I'm definitely not claiming to be better (i dont really like paint and don't have much in it anyways) but I know better than to try to sell that shit....

1/15/2009 9:07:29 AM

Quote :

"You never know until you try and WHEN I sell that "shit" I will be happy to rub it in your face! It's not about making the money, it's about opening doors to opportunity."

It's not about making money, but when you do make money you'll rub it in people's face because you did make money even though that's not what it's about?

What opportunities are you looking for? Do you envision yourself having a gallery? Or do you just want to have paintings pay for your bills?

1/15/2009 9:32:44 AM

"opportunities" for ridicule

ps - you're gonna have to learn how to take and learn from criticism. big hint, that's one way to get free pointers and learn how to improve.... and trust me, there is a lot of room for improvement...

1/15/2009 12:14:00 PM

Oh I know, you guys seem to think I've proclaimed myself the best of the best. If you read the thread you'll see I've not said that once and have actually thanked people for their criticism

However, on the same point, there is a difference between constructive and destructive criticism, 99% of the comments in this thread fall under the latter part and will be ignored or responded to in like.

Opportunity to get my name out there, see if people like my work, see if I should pursue this, lots of reasons.

1/15/2009 12:17:37 PM

that pursuit is gonna be pretty long......

you should probably focus on reality first then move onto color theory then dabble in various stylistic forms before trying to 'strike out on your own'

there's a reason why it works...

1/15/2009 12:20:52 PM

Word, this is a lifetime pursuit of happiness deal.

1/15/2009 12:28:30 PM

Ok, next!



The blues aren't showing right on the picture, they aren't AS painful but still vibrant colors.

Tear me a new one

1/15/2009 12:36:53 PM

Quote :

"Opportunity to get my name out there"

tww would be glad to help others be amused by your work

Quote :

"see if people like my work"

not likely

Quote :

"see if I should pursue this"

not if you want to be successful

Quote :

"lots of reasons."

there's more?

1/15/2009 12:41:33 PM

L

O

FUCKING

L

1/15/2009 12:42:41 PM

lololololol


also, you should be embarrassed to not know some of the basic tenants of artistry that you should. It is as if I as a songwriter didn't know who hank williams was just because i don't play country music. with knowledge comes scope and inspiration to do things outside the normal bounds of style and genre. you don't appear to know any painting that hasn't appeared on a website that caters to wallpaper for your computer monitor.


and none of the seriousness in those few sentences should diminish your perception of how much of a 'vapid cunt' (as someone else in the thread put it) that i think you are, and that others should think you are.

1/15/2009 12:44:52 PM

This thread is fucking hilarious.

I've been avoiding posting in here since I am always labeled the bad guy, but since everyone else seems to have decided to stop babying Kiwi and be honest with her about the shit she produces, I'll say that I agree.

Kiwi, none of the paintings you've posted would have even made it to the glass display next to the main office at my high school. That is some freshman art class shit, and while you might be able to convince some sap to buy it on your etsy shop, that certainly doesn't mean it is good, or art.

The fact that you're still so reluctant to accept criticism shows how little you know or care about what you're doing. You complain about it being "destructive" criticism, but what you're claiming to try and do is create art. You think the art world is full of people that are going to coddle you? If so, you're highly mistaken. Not every bit of criticism is going to make you feel good, and for someone as uneducated as you are, even a comment like "this shit sucks" should mean something to you. The "destructive" criticism that you're so quick to write off as everyone being a dick and hating on you is still criticism that you desperately need to consider.

1/15/2009 12:45:19 PM

well said, you fucking prick.

1/15/2009 12:48:04 PM

I PAINTED JACKSON POLLOCKS OUT OF THE WOMB

1/15/2009 12:49:11 PM