Our office assistant's email signature is, "Be kinder than necessary, for you never know what battles others are facing."

She routinely bullies people, has made several other women cry, talks rudely to our supervisors, and drives away clients because they don't want to deal with her attitude.

11/2/2013 9:18:11 AM

I used to work with someone who posted anything and everything in a signature

quotes, positions they held now and in the past, every phone number they had

I replied with the rhyme of the ancient mariner as my signature, and he finally got the point


*on an unrelated note, I have a friend who works for social services, and she hates getting emails from people who are applying for government assistance, and the email signature reads
"sent from my newer than shit expensive iPhone special edition"
(her words exactly lol)

11/2/2013 9:47:33 AM

Mondays

11/4/2013 4:25:13 PM

Quote :

"I replied with the rhyme of the ancient mariner as my signature, and he finally got the point"

hahahahaha that's awesome

11/4/2013 4:42:48 PM

iPhones are cheap these days.

11/4/2013 5:27:58 PM

some asshole just dumped his dip spitter into the bathroom sink at work, and just left it there.

where's shoot when I need him?

11/7/2013 10:21:01 AM

a year ago you give client a cost table that includes allowances for some things that may likely be present that will increase costs. client tells you not to expect those things and to remove them from the proposal. you push them further and have meetings over the next few weeks where you continue to stress that these are items that we will very likely see that will have additional costs.

now you find those things and submit a change order for them. client denies change order request because those items "should have been identified and included in the base project scope"

11/7/2013 12:53:59 PM

yep. hate that kind of stuff The only thing you can fall back on is good documentation of the original discussions and throw it back over the fence to them.

11/7/2013 12:55:36 PM

that's what i did, it's just very annoying when you have to deal with an angry client because of something that you told them about at the very beginning. and now i'll probably have to deal with an even more annoying audit to justify things.

its the same with any project i've ever been involved in that involves controls. every client always squeezes the controls budget or tries to remove it from the scope entirely, regardless of how much you protest. it backfires every single time, i've never seen it save money in the long run. Doing controls work on the back end of the project always cost a lot more and take a lot longer than working those things out from the very beginning.

11/7/2013 1:05:26 PM

client making stupid requests... that I have to honor.

[Edited on November 7, 2013 at 1:08 PM. Reason : .]

11/7/2013 1:08:03 PM

Quote :

"client making stupid requests... that I have to honor."

I have a client right now who's like this. about 75% of the comments she makes are incorrect and/or misinformed, yet i have to "suck it up" and "deal with it" because the project is for supposedly a friend of my boss. She bombards me with e-mails 3-4 times a day for the past 3 weeks with this shit.

11/7/2013 1:11:07 PM

Something that I notice with a lot of 20 and 30 somethings...If you're on a conference call or in a meeting that is discussing a particular item and you don't know the answer, do not read off all the facts that you do know to try to make yourself look like you know what's going on. Nobody cares whether you know 90% of how something works if you don't have the answer to the particular question at hand. It's annoying when you're the person who does have the answer and you can't get a word in for all the people talking about the slightly related things that they do know.

Example:
- Does anybody know how "item c" works in this scenario?
- I don't know...I know "item a" does so and so and "item b" does blah blah blah, but I don't know how "item c" works.

The older cats don't do this...They'll sit quietly if they don't know the answer and if they're the person asking the question they'll simply say "Does anybody know how item D works? I don't have a full understanding of it." Nobody is going to think less of you for not spewing a bunch of semi-related facts that don't help the goals of the meeting.

11/8/2013 1:27:17 PM

^I have a 'seasoned' coworker who does that exact thing when the spotlight is on him.

11/8/2013 1:51:27 PM

Outside of the workplace, I like sitting quietly and then piping up with the answer when everyone's done talking. It makes me feel special.

11/8/2013 1:58:07 PM

^^ +1

11/8/2013 2:02:28 PM

Trying to listen in on a webinar explaining a lot of technical stuff while our receptionist decides to go on a noise making rampage. A) stop yelling across the office with a question you should already know the answer to. B) not the time to blast your radio and sing along.

Looks like I'll be in the market for some noise cancelling headphones.

11/12/2013 2:16:37 PM

Quote :

"Outside of the workplace, I like sitting quietly and then piping up with the answer when everyone's done talking. It makes me feel special. "

Ha, you could also just speak the answer at a normal level while everyone's chattering, wait for the people immediately surrounding you to acknowledge what you said, then watch as it ripples through the crowd.

11/12/2013 6:31:08 PM

^
I'm a grad student in math

I love listening to people fumble and speculate about questions that I've already figured out

I usually explain the solution as soon as they shut up, but sometimes they keep talking for a minute or two on end...it's awesome.

11/13/2013 12:06:50 AM

working for a 'smaller' company who wants to be 'big time'.

This week I have done:
- Engineering (my actual job)
- department management (stuck with that job)
- project management (our PM's are sucky)
- purchasing (The PA was on vacation)
- accounting/billing....fuck that mess.

11/13/2013 8:01:41 AM

I wish I could respond to clients with,

11/15/2013 9:50:55 AM

Boss just asked me to come into work on Saturday. To do his job. So he could play golf.

11/15/2013 4:19:18 PM

"no"

11/15/2013 10:29:15 PM

Shigellosis

11/15/2013 11:20:57 PM

mouthbreathers

11/15/2013 11:50:33 PM

secretary of 9 years is leaving, voluntarily, for another job. Friday is her last day.

Lady in the office nearest the secretary wants to "take a collection" from the office staff to do a gift card or some such.

I axed "why?" Friend says "because she's been here 9 years!" and "we did it for the other secretary that was laid off last year".

I said to this bitch, "bitch, the other one was laid off. this woman here is CHOOSING TO LEAVE on her own volition for a gainful position at another company, which, presumably, is better for her than what she thinks she's got here."

...


I can't logically support this. Am I an asshole for thinking and/or saying this.

I wish secretary all the best, but it ain't like we're supporting her through some trying times. AND she's getting TWO farewell lunches this week. I think one is enough, let alone two AND a gift card

11/19/2013 4:43:52 PM

It's customary to do something, whether it's a cupcake party or a token gift.

you are celebrating that person doing well for themselves etc.

11/19/2013 4:50:22 PM

They're running some dehumidifiers in our bathrooms, which do a nice job of heating the room up and amplifying the smell of human waste. Yummy!

11/19/2013 4:52:11 PM

Quote :

"Am I an asshole for thinking and/or saying this."

yes, you are an asshole

11/19/2013 4:56:02 PM

^that's rich

11/19/2013 5:00:18 PM

When the mom is out of town the Dad constantly runs behind pushing back my potential leaving time. I'm already here 10 hours a day on business trip weeks. Come on dude!

11/19/2013 6:01:53 PM

I think the farewell lunches should be sufficient.

11/20/2013 12:15:29 AM

gifts, cupcakes, lunches? what the shit?

where I work, people are here one day and then the next... never to be seen/heard from again. it's some freaky shit.

11/20/2013 8:50:58 AM

our Quality Assurance was auditing a study..... which already slows everything down a good deal... then add on top of that the Quality Assurance rep is herself being audited by higher up Quality Assurance to validate her methods

holy fuck what normally takes us a very efficient 2 hours took 8 hours

also getting written up for not putting an expiration date on water is kind of smh

[Edited on November 20, 2013 at 9:04 AM. Reason : .]

11/20/2013 9:03:55 AM

I think it's pretty customary to get someone a token gift if y'all have worked with her for a considerable amount of time. In the case of "here on day and gone the next", then it probably doesn't matter, but nine years I can understand.

How do you determine when water will expire?

11/20/2013 9:09:43 AM

^ you make them happy by making up a random date that means nothing, yep.

11/20/2013 9:13:17 AM

Bob Sigmon he taaalllkkkk aaallll slllloooow liiikkeee with thick country accent and he sounds like he's whining half the time.

So annoying.........

I have to put my headphones on when he gets on the phone with a customer.

[Edited on November 20, 2013 at 10:56 AM. Reason : a]

11/20/2013 10:56:21 AM

dates matter for water because of what can be in the water, that's why RO/DI process water loops are recirculating and anytime they are stopped they have to be flushed and sometimes even sampled first depending on the process.

11/20/2013 10:59:02 AM

^yes, but we only store water temporarily, like in a beaker when we are measuring out 500 mL

and if there is no date on it then there is a write-up, even if the water only stays in there for all of 5 minutes.

also I really hate backstabbing sonsabitches that think that saying to uppermanagement and all of their coworkers that they "hate" someone they work with (yet smile and pretend everything is perfect to the person's face) and think it is professional

[Edited on November 21, 2013 at 8:50 AM. Reason : ..]

11/21/2013 8:49:14 AM

but if there is no date, how does an auditor know that its only temporary?

11/21/2013 9:09:17 AM

because they watch us measure it out and then immediately use it???

I have been trained so I understand the purpose of most everything we do, and I end up spending a large portion of time dedicated to labeling things and cleaning and prepping all so the study is done right, and then i get nailed for not labeling the water that I put into a beaker then into a graduated cylinder and then into a bottle all in front of them.

11/21/2013 9:12:10 AM

What is wrong with old people and not wanting to learn or try to learn things, like how to format a document or how to figure out a problem like columns in excel being pushed to the next page? Why do you need me to come show you, for like the billionth time in 3 years, how to decrease the width of a column?

11/21/2013 11:58:22 AM

Ugh. I bought a brand new microwave to keep in my office this week. Another teacher used it today to make popcorn. Severly burnt popcorn

11/21/2013 12:19:33 PM

People walking in every god damn time I try to dick around on youtube

11/21/2013 12:22:22 PM

Just spent the last 6 hours trying to find $85k that was keeping my project budget from balancing just to find out that the program manager deleted a line that he thought was a duplicate.

11/21/2013 1:13:09 PM

^ but how is he supposed to know that it wasn't a duplicate?

it seems like an honest mistake

11/21/2013 1:29:33 PM

because they have two different contract numbers and are on two different lines, they just happen to have the same contract value and be beside each other in the spreadsheet.

11/21/2013 1:33:04 PM

the red pens NEVER work

11/21/2013 1:44:26 PM

gotta get them G-2 07 pens son

11/21/2013 1:52:31 PM

I have a minifridge of my very own in my office

today, I drilled holes and put a padlock on it so my food and drink will still be there the next day, FML

11/21/2013 1:54:51 PM

lol^

11/21/2013 2:05:50 PM