dont know if anyone else has done this yet...


Moe Sizlac taking the lie detector test:
Police Officer: "Checks out, ok sir you're free to go."
Moe: "Good, cuz i've got a hot date tonight."
Lie Detector Machiene: *buzz!*
M: "a date"
LDM: *buzz*
M: "dinner with friends"
LDM *buzz*
M "dinner alone"
LDM *buzz*
M "watching TV alone"
LDM *buzz*
M "ALRIGHT!..... IM GONNA SIT AT HOME AND OGGLE THE LADIES IN THE VICTORIA'S SECRET CATALOG!"
LDM *buzz*
M ".... sears catalog."
LDM *ding!*
M "now would you unhook this already please! i dont deserve this kind of shabby treatment!"
LDM *buzz*

[Edited on February 14, 2002 at 11:52 AM. Reason : bad spelling!]

2/14/2002 11:51:42 AM

ITS THE PARTY POSSE!!!!!

2/21/2002 7:48:20 PM

Hey you're that drunken posse!

2/21/2002 7:51:20 PM

Here's a sack, you have to supply you're own door knobs.

2/21/2002 8:03:44 PM

I don't believe in nothing no more. I'm going to law school!

2/21/2002 8:05:07 PM

That sounded like a silo falling!

2/21/2002 8:08:08 PM

you're goin to Stanford, you're goin to Stanford

2/21/2002 8:15:10 PM

I'm sure it's been posted, but i didn't feel like reading 12 pages of posts to say:

"Since the dawn of time man has yearned to destroy the sun"

2/21/2002 10:25:27 PM

I dunno, Seth, this thread is a little weak in the Monty quotes.

I pickled the figs myself.

2/21/2002 10:27:43 PM

Ketchup.......catsup
Ketchup.......catsup

2/21/2002 10:28:48 PM

Bart wants to go to Canada:

Homer:"But why would we want to leave America to go to America jr?"

2/21/2002 10:45:01 PM

"Nuke the whales, You don't really believe that do you?" -lisa
"Gotta nuke something.." -milhouse

2/21/2002 10:46:12 PM

milhouse: "go apple! "
bart: "go orange!"
...
ralphie: "go banana!"

2/21/2002 10:47:07 PM

Dude, that was Nelson. They are two completely different characters.

[Edited on February 21, 2002 at 10:47 PM. Reason : PhIsH3r]

2/21/2002 10:47:23 PM

whoops, o well. thats what happens when you havent seen the episode in ages. thx for the update

2/22/2002 4:05:16 AM

Nooo, not you, you did fine.

2/22/2002 8:24:48 AM

ralphie: "mrs. krabapple and principal skinner were in the closet making babies and i saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me."

2/22/2002 11:49:21 AM

^
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

2/22/2002 11:59:16 AM

"Barney and I were discussing politics over a game of backgamman when...."

"homer, its a felony to lie to the FBI"

"we were sitting in barney's car eating packets of mustard, are you happy"

2/22/2002 1:40:36 PM

Mr. Burns - "I told Smithers that his father was killed by savage Amazon women instead of the other way. I hope it didn't effect you in anyway"
Smithers - "It's ok sir, I guess we will never know"

2/24/2002 9:31:09 PM

Lisa: Mr. Hutz, when did you become a schiester(sp?)?

Lionel Hutz: How does a nice little girl like you know a big word like that?

[Edited on March 6, 2002 at 3:07 PM. Reason : foo]

3/6/2002 3:07:22 PM

"new update on the simpson scandal, homer simpson sleeps nude in an oxygen tent because he believes it gives him sexual powers"

or

the following was a dramatization...may not have happened.

3/6/2002 3:17:17 PM

Grrr...no quoting the episode that came on yesterday

I've been into space.
Sure you have.

3/6/2002 3:59:46 PM

He has the evil gene. Hitler had it, Walt Disney had it, and Hugo has it.

3/7/2002 12:12:26 AM

Wow, that's a great one ^


According to Animal Crackers, there is no river here.

3/7/2002 12:15:17 AM

mmmmmmm... pistol whip

3/7/2002 9:39:30 PM

Marge: Homer, God asks for only one hour a week.

Homer: Well he should have made the week one hour longer. Lousy God.

3/12/2002 11:51:58 PM

Sweet sweet can.

3/13/2002 12:00:13 AM

I know this was from tonight, but it was great:

Ned Flanders (aka king of troy): Now, through out history when people see wood, they with think of trojans.


(thats about right i think)

This is the one of the funniest Simpsons i have ever seen!

[Edited on March 17, 2002 at 8:14 PM. Reason : s]

3/17/2002 8:14:31 PM

burns to smithers: RELEASE THE ROBOTIC RICHARD SIMMONS

homer: arghhhhhhhhhhh

[Edited on March 17, 2002 at 8:34 PM. Reason : sp]

3/17/2002 8:32:48 PM

Homer in Burn's kitchen: "One of these things must be a breakfast maker"

3/18/2002 5:44:14 PM

Mr. Burns:

Get me players! Living players!

Scour the National League, the American League, the Negro League!

3/18/2002 5:45:42 PM

Marge: Oh, Homer, don't start stalking people again. It's so illegal. Remember when you were stalking Charles Kuralt because you thought he dug up your garden?

Homer: Well, something did!

3/18/2002 5:55:34 PM

Willy:
lunch lady doris, have you got any grease? yes we do. Well grease me up woman! Okaydokie!

Lunch lady:
MOre testicles mean more Iron!!



Skinner to willy:
i think the punch needs watering down more. dammit skinner, ive watered it down and cant water it down no more!!



Willy to wolf:
Ah, dont feel bad for losin, i was wrestlin back when you were still a pup at your momms tit

3/18/2002 6:16:30 PM

Moe:

It's not so bad Homer. They let you keep the piece they cut out.

Who's that big guy there? Who's that?

3/19/2002 10:48:57 AM

Smithers:

Don't worry sir, we'll thaw you out as soon as they discover a cure for 27 stab wounds in the back.

3/19/2002 4:24:22 PM

COMPU-GLOBAL-HYPER-MEGA-NET

3/19/2002 11:44:29 PM

well sweetie its like the time your cat snowball got run over.....all we have to do is go to the pound and buy you a new jazz man.


flesh eating bacteria inside.

3/20/2002 12:45:52 AM

im leinel hutz shoe repairs and a attorney at law.

3/22/2002 3:46:08 PM

Homer: "AHHH..God, my favorite fictional character."

3/22/2002 3:58:39 PM

^hahaha

3/23/2002 1:31:41 AM

lisa: "dad, dont be so hard on yourself. dont you know that the chinese use the same word for crisis and opportunity."

homer: "CRISISTUNITY!"

3/23/2002 1:32:45 AM

Homer: Aawwww.... There's only one can of beer left and it's Barts.

3/23/2002 2:57:00 PM

^

3/23/2002 3:18:32 PM

Race you to Utah, Millhouse.

Okay!

3/23/2002 4:23:59 PM

Hey great! Write it down and mail it to last week when I might have cared. I've got cartoons to make, kids.

3/23/2002 4:25:32 PM

We must alert the proper authorities!

To the observatory!





It'll burn up in our atmosphere and whatever is left will be no bigger than a chiwauau's (sp) head.

Wow dad! Maybe you're right!

Sure I'm right! And if not, may we be horribly crushed from above somehow.


(you ever notice that when the rocket hits the bridge, the sign goes from "only bridge out of town" to "bridge out")

[Edited on March 23, 2002 at 4:36 PM. Reason : The whole reason why we have elected officials is so that we dont have to think all the time]

3/23/2002 4:29:54 PM

3/23/2002 6:57:11 PM

Homer: That kid's got bosoms!!!!!


Nelson: Hey German boy go back to Germania.

Uter: Please I have come here legally as an exchange student.

Skinner: The only thing we exchanged for you is our national dignity.

3/23/2002 6:59:17 PM

uter

hahahahahahahaha

3/23/2002 7:13:14 PM