People who work in IT and don't know how to type.

Come on people. You use a keyboard for a living.

4/9/2015 10:21:29 AM

pubes on toilets

4/9/2015 11:24:07 AM

gum in the bathroom urinal. Seriously? WTF people, really?

4/9/2015 11:25:25 AM

Week after week, without fail, whenever I get on the phone to take an important call, the lawn crew thinks its the perfect time to swing by my window. This only happens on Thursdays, and never at the same time of day.

4/9/2015 11:32:56 AM

My job is so fucking unbelievable.

I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:
First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.

The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.

But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big fucking dog to work. Every fucking day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single fucking day.

Anyway, I drive these fucktards around in my van and we solve mysteries and shit.

4/9/2015 1:28:45 PM

Damnit you got me Bobby haha

4/9/2015 2:22:54 PM

I thought Bobby was working his family into a funny story because he works from home. Then I was like..."okay...now he's saying some really mean shit about his kids." Then the stoner/great dane part came and I was all...

4/9/2015 2:26:53 PM

nice scarf

4/9/2015 2:28:34 PM

Some overly talkative sales manager was giving a pep talk to a table of about 10 underlings at lunch today. Non stop yammering for about 20 minutes in a quite restaurant. Goddamn I'm glad I'm no longer a part of that world.

4/9/2015 3:52:36 PM

Quote :

"Anyway, I drive these fucktards around in my van and we solve mysteries and shit."

LOL

i fell for it.

4/9/2015 3:57:43 PM

Quote :

"That the guy (yes it was a dude) held 3 different CCIE certs, had worked on a ton of different bleeding-edge infrastructure projects, and was local, were the only things that saved his resume from the trash bin."

Showing up in a hawaiian shirt wasn't the best idea, but honestly…if you have 3 CCIEs plus the other qualifications (and likely the experience to back up the certs), then he can have his pick of the jobs wearing whatever he wants and people will hire him anyway. "If YOU guys don't want me, this other company over here wants to hire me."

4/9/2015 9:38:19 PM

Question:

I recently interviewed with a new prospective employer, and everything went well
(just waiting on background and credit check, which is nothing to worry about at all)

they have told me the date they want me to start, but I would not be able to give 2 weeks if they don't get back to me soon, they know this, and don't seem to care

my current employer has been good to me, so I really don't want to burn a bridge

but the new employer is offering a massive pay raise (almost 40%), so I don't want to lose the opportunity

how do I not piss either of them off?

4/9/2015 11:17:11 PM

Went through the same thing recently and the new employer essentially said most people wait to give two weeks after the background and credit check go through and were fine with waiting for me to do the same. That being said I think it only took about five days for that to be completed.

4/9/2015 11:23:56 PM

Do the 2 weeks notice.

As badly as they want you, it'd be really shitty of them to demand you do anything less, and I'm 100% sure their HR would have a problem with it. They're not going to yank your offer if you tell them you need two weeks.

Quote :

"Showing up in a hawaiian shirt wasn't the best idea, but honestly…if you have 3 CCIEs plus the other qualifications (and likely the experience to back up the certs), then he can have his pick of the jobs wearing whatever he wants and people will hire him anyway. "If YOU guys don't want me, this other company over here wants to hire me.""

That was his mentality for sure. However, he also assumed (incorrectly) that we didn't have anyone else competing for the role, and even for his qualifications this gig was paying a pretty astronomical amount.

[Edited on April 10, 2015 at 9:17 AM. Reason : .]

4/10/2015 9:15:21 AM

Quote :

"As badly as they want you, it'd be really shitty of them to demand you do anything less, and I'm 100% sure their HR would have a problem with it. They're not going to yank your offer if you tell them you need two weeks."

I definitely agree with this. But you don't necessarily know that your current employer will want you to stick around for the full two weeks either. Some places want to escort you out as soon as you hand in your notice, regardless of your relationship with them, it's just policy.

So, I would tell your new job, if they issue an offer "I would like to give my current employer the courtesy of a two week notice. If they do not need me to stay for the full two weeks, I will gladly start on the earlier date."

4/10/2015 9:23:29 AM

Rule #151- Never let owners buy equipment, it will always be wrong and will never fit.

4/10/2015 9:24:49 AM

Quote :

"(just waiting on background and credit check, which is nothing to worry about at all)"

Do you ever worry that the background check will bring up the fact that you were the shit-head who schemed the voucher system??

4/10/2015 9:37:22 AM

^ wondering the same thing.

4/10/2015 9:51:07 AM

oh shit

4/10/2015 9:55:30 AM

not worried about that at all, it has never come up before

and like I have said before, I didn't do the bad things,
I just didn't give a shit the people under me were doing it
(because I was about to graduate anyway)

do you enjoy the online system?

4/13/2015 12:06:44 PM

So if i'm your employer i can trust you to be ethical as long as you're not close to transitioning to some other job.

Yeah, any employer would be lucky to have a guy like you.

4/13/2015 1:22:52 PM

I have taken every job I have had seriously

no need in student government, it was basically a place where you could do what you wanted without any consequences (much like TWW)

and yes my previous employers have all said they were lucky to have me, even after I left

4/13/2015 1:34:10 PM

Coworkers uptight about your smartphone use when everyone has smartphones and uses company wifi.

4/15/2015 9:33:05 PM

just renovated the conference room and installed some kind of cheap POS 1024x768 projector. i don't know how many 10's of dollars they paid for a 1024x768 projector, but it was too much.

4/16/2015 4:03:40 PM

How are recruiters compensated? Sometimes I apply for a position through indeed and an hour or two later I get a call and e-mail. Seems like they're really hungry, because sometimes they'll still send me jobs I don't have adequate experiences for.

4/16/2015 4:21:45 PM

there's a helpful website that has some information on that - http://tinyurl.com/n7we6m6

4/16/2015 4:44:52 PM

three CCIEs? wtf. We get a 10k bonus for earning one of those..lol

Also if co-worker who I trained tells you how to do you job. You don't listen. You text me in the middle of the night. When you can't get me you call the on-call engineer asking your dumb ass question who tells you the same fucking thing your co-worker said to do. You can't act surprised when I call you out on it.

4/18/2015 12:06:18 AM

I'm getting laid off from my job soon, but I am kind of glad because I am sick of all the personal drama being played out over the phone in our break room. For some reason people seem to think it is cool to get on their phone and start yelling "FUCK YOU!" at the person on the other end of the line while everyone else is sitting in the break room. Then sometimes they even start crying. I don't want to hear half the story about someone's personal problems. Then some of those same people were standing around in the break room a few weeks ago when I walked in and the conversation went like this...

"So you wanted the text message to make it look like you were fucking him?

No I didn't want the text message to make it look like I was fucking him."


Note to everyone in the world...talking on the cell phone in public makes you look silly, especially when you are talking about personal issues. It doesn't make you look cool like some people think.

4/18/2015 12:23:32 PM

I'm at the very end of the main hallway, so I have to walk by everybody's office (all the other postdocs' offices, the directors' offices, the main lounge/schmooze area and the auditorium) whenever I want to take a piss. and I have a week bladder & drink lots of water, so I piss like 3-6 times a day. and I'm really awkward/socially challenged/introverted, so it's draining/discomforting to have to potentially interact with like 5 people every time I piss, and also awkward to approach somebody in a long hallway at least once/day

my solution is to just consistently take the back stairs down to floor 2 and piss there. so, I guess the main conflict isn't really an annoyance, except that I look like a fucking weirdo disappearing down the back stairs 5x/day, to anyone who happens to be in the hallway watching.

4/18/2015 1:40:24 PM

^ for a brief period of time I thought you were indicating that you pissed in the stairwell as a solution to avoid restroom-interactions

Nobody cares about you disappearing. They only suspect you disappear to masturbate in your car.

4/18/2015 1:42:51 PM

I ride my bike to work, so masturbation in my car isn't an option. if I were gonna jerk off at work, I'd probably do it in one of the handicapped stalls (which are really capacious and comfy.)

4/18/2015 1:45:07 PM

The sandwich place next to our building is out of bread because they're catering for the Cannabis Cup downtown. Haha.

4/20/2015 1:17:42 PM

Ugh. Someone sent out an email announcing one woman's birthday. Not only are people hitting reply-all to wish her happy birthday, she is hitting reply-all to thank each individual birthday wish.

4/22/2015 1:17:31 PM

god reply all is the bane of human existence.

like seriously it has broken batman's back.

there should be official email policies in place to prevent "reply all Armageddon"

4/22/2015 2:59:59 PM

Yea, but the best is when people reply-all telling people to stop replying-all.

4/22/2015 3:09:20 PM

I always dig epic "Reply-all" arguments. They're pretty rare, but fascinating when they occur.

4/22/2015 3:16:28 PM

Quote :

"god reply all is the bane of human existence. "

My wife's rants about her daily Reply-All experiences as a teacher were hilarious. It always seemed liked she was the only one that got it.

4/22/2015 3:22:37 PM

I work for a very large company, and this distro that I was included in was thousands large. They ended up having to shut down that distro before they crashed exchange.

4/22/2015 3:28:36 PM

^i have a similar story where a lady somehow got access to the "company-all" list and it actually did crash the server, email was down most of a day company wide

the best are people who reply all saying "DONT REPLY ALL" or "PLEASE REMOVE ME FROM THIS LIST"

4/22/2015 6:49:55 PM

Some asshole keeps using my britta without refilling it

4/24/2015 3:00:01 PM

We have one of those big fancy water filtering machines.

4/24/2015 3:01:13 PM

Really hard to eat healthy with a fucking gourmet biscuit shop right next door! Especially on Fried Chicken Friday!

I literally smell fresh made biscuits from 8:30 am to 3pm...ALL. DAY.

4/24/2015 4:54:44 PM

Sure, I'd LOVE to come in and work on Saturday. I don't mind at all that you're freaking out that we're about three weeks behind, and I'm sure it has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that we started actual work on this current release cycle three weeks after the official project plan says we did.

4/25/2015 11:08:33 PM

The whole team getting reamed today for not testing anything they check in, while I meticulously test damned near everything. I mean, some people can't even be bothered to build the project before they check in code. I guess asking them to go the extra mile and run the code (that they didn't build) is just too much. So yeah, I enjoyed getting yelled at for that.

4/30/2015 12:19:39 AM

Working From home makes me hate work more.

4/30/2015 2:11:05 AM

Quote :

"The whole team getting reamed today for not testing anything they check in, while I meticulously test damned near everything. I mean, some people can't even be bothered to build the project before they check in code. I guess asking them to go the extra mile and run the code (that they didn't build) is just too much. So yeah, I enjoyed getting yelled at for that."

Dude that sucks. Blanket group beatdowns about behavior you're individually not engaging in is one of the worst things in business.

I had a manager once who would call in the whole group, then send off the individuals who weren't the problem so he could address the fuckups. He got in trouble a lot with his supervisor for it, because he wasn't treating the team like a 'team'. One of the best managers I ever worked under.

4/30/2015 9:06:43 AM

^hard to tell from that post but the vision I get isn't that great of a method either. There's not usually a need to berate a whole team for truly individual screw-ups (I only say usually because now and then there are times when team members SHOULD have worked together more and not taken a mental stance of "im doing my job and not worrying about what others are doing"). However singling out individuals in a public way isn't always the best either. Instead of calling the entire team in and then sending out those who did not need to be talked to, it seems better to talk to them individually.

[Edited on April 30, 2015 at 9:17 AM. Reason : ]

4/30/2015 9:15:19 AM

It wasn't an every week thing, and it wasn't all the time.

Overall the group did a pretty good job getting their work done, but out of 10-12 there were 2-3 of us who always had our shit together and were a non-source of issues, while the remaining 9-10 were a little younger, greener, and more prone to sinking into periods of laziness.

From a time management perspective, it's a lot easier to address the same problem 9-10 people are having as a group, rather than call individuals in one-by-one and address it. He was never a dick, or mean, or abusive in the way he address issues, he was just matter-of-fact about who needed to make adjustments in their process.

4/30/2015 9:28:56 AM

i got in trouble for taking off points from a contractor's bid qualification because their work email is an aol.com account. we do a lot of electronic documentation and communcation, it's seems reasonable to me to assume that someone with an aol.com email won't be able to keep up.

5/1/2015 10:46:15 AM

Construction. I'm glad that they're building a craftbeer bar beside me, just sucks having to listen to major construction for 6 months...as well as having to fuck with the massive cement and other truck in the parking area behind the building.

5/1/2015 11:18:52 AM