so are mexicans

11/15/2004 3:54:52 AM

this is probably the funniest thing i've ever read

http://www.somethingawful.com/jeffk/gtasaasasasas/index.htm

Here's a sample: Jerry tried palaying thes game once and he kept saying "WHAT" when teh charactars started speaking becuase Jerry dose not undarstand hood getto speeach liek I do because I palay Maddan 2004 over a Xbox Life so I know how to talk street samart.

11/15/2004 6:29:45 AM

omg it can't just be me this is the funniest shit ever

Jerry once tried to eat an entire beehive but had too stop becuase it feel into a pond near a cow and Jerry si afraid of cows evar since teh time we went to teh milkfarm for 6th grade field trip and the cow peed on his shoe and Mr. Denning said "GOSH DAMNIT JERRY WHO PISSED ON YUOR SHOE IT SMELLS LIEK A COW" and teh terriabable truth was too much to bear so Jerry ran away crying and hid behind a stack of hay until teh sun went down and his dad called teh cops on teh school for misappropriation of funds.

[Edited on November 15, 2004 at 6:48 AM. Reason : .]

11/15/2004 6:43:47 AM

Im a doctor hahahahhaa I am just kiding I am not a doctar I am a lover

11/15/2004 10:12:04 AM

THIS GAME IS ABOUT RAP MUSIC


MISSIAN #1: RIDE A BIKE ADN DONT GET SHOT BY PIMPS IN A PINK CAR WFT PINK CAR LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MISSIAN #2: GET A TATTOO OF UWE BOLL ON YOUR RIGHT ARM
MISSAIN #3: WORK OUT IN A GYM LIFTING WAIGHTS UNTIL A BUTTON SAYS "PRESS THIS BUTTON" AND YUO DO SO IT DOES PRESES THAT BUTTON ITS OVER NOW WELCOEM TO FLAVOR COUNTRY
MISSAIN #4: DRIVE TO GET A CHICKEN BUCKET AND SMOEK A BLUNT WATCH out for cops and witches
MISSIAN #4: PRANK CALL 40 PHOEN NUMBARS IN UNDER 40 SECONDS
MISSIAN #5: DISCOVER TEH MYSTARY OF TEH PYRAMIDS
MISSIAN #6: DRIVEBY SHOTTING OF REVENGE FOR LOVE LOST
MISSIAN #7: STEAL A CAR NO WAIT SPRAY PAINT A WALL SO IT SAYS "THE LOST BOYS RULE" ON IT
MISSIAN #8: STEAL A CAR
MISSIAN #9: intermission
MISSIAN #10: I DIDANT GET TO MISSIAN #10 BECUASE JERRY'S FAT WAS BLOCKING TEH TELEVISIAN

11/15/2004 10:14:05 AM

lol

Hey, someone come do the goddamn Zero missions for me

11/15/2004 10:34:49 AM

i can do it

11/15/2004 10:35:13 AM

oh quit crying ^^

which one are you stuck on?

11/15/2004 10:47:47 AM

that link looks promising, but just can't read it due to intentional misspelling

11/15/2004 10:52:43 AM

so you can do two player any time you like?

11/15/2004 11:56:50 AM

fuck 'supply lines'

seriously

11/15/2004 12:04:13 PM

jeff k rules

11/15/2004 12:06:18 PM

i got $9999999999999999 so I hang outside the transfender and steal cars, put nitro on them and hydraulics and then see how awesome I can wreck them in vinewood coming down the mountain

11/15/2004 12:12:44 PM

Zero is fucking exactly like me.


Except David Cross is much cooler.

11/15/2004 12:14:01 PM

Quote :

"fuck 'supply lines' seriously "

Which one is that?

nm, I remember now.....yeah fuck that mission

[Edited on November 15, 2004 at 2:33 PM. Reason : nm]

11/15/2004 2:32:18 PM

which one is the supply lines mission is that the one where you have to fly below radar level

11/15/2004 2:42:41 PM

supply lines is the 2nd mother fucking rc plane mission. i hope i get the satisfaction of killing zero at some point, because he's really starting to piss me off.

11/15/2004 2:46:40 PM

the fly below radar was easy yo, you just had to plot your course of travel before you start goin

11/15/2004 2:46:52 PM

Supply Lines is the Zero mission with the RC plane.
The below the radar mission is called N.O.E. It's pretty easy if you fly directly west from the start, fly along the western coast over the ocean and only fly over land to go hit the checkpoint.

11/15/2004 2:47:41 PM

oh I beat it I was just trying to figure out which mission yall were talking about.

11/15/2004 3:11:33 PM

david cross (zero) is fucking hilarious, his stint on just shoot me as a fake retard was funny as hell

11/15/2004 5:05:54 PM

BEST PART OF THE GAME:

stand on the side of a mountain where there is a road below you.

spawn racecars... rhinos... garbage trucks... etc. and try to make them tumble down the hill into incoming traffic.

11/16/2004 2:54:48 AM

there need to be more missions where you kill people

gee i mean driving to remote locations and shit is fun and all, but there are some really cool missions where you shoot a lot of people and blow a lot of shit up

san fransisco is lacking in that area, the road block mission is pathetic, snipping two fuckers is too easy... just want a challange, and that challenge not be some gay ass mission where you need to drive for 5 minutes without touching anything

11/16/2004 4:47:01 AM

I spent some serious time exploring the area last night. It is just amazing how friggin big this game is.

I know it is frustating that you have to drive for 10 minutes just to get a mission done, but it is quite amazing that the game engine has been stretched this much.

When it comes out on XBox it will be a true treat to see the graphics and sights.

11/16/2004 8:33:08 AM

jetpack rocks

skydiving rocks

weapons codes still wont work for me

11/16/2004 2:33:44 PM

Quote :

"swim to the other cities and drive around w/ 4 stars. Its fun."

except that there aren't any other cars, i had to jack a police bike

too busy driving fast, the blur caused me to not see anything over there at all before swimming back

11/16/2004 2:49:14 PM

I found what i think is a double headed pink dildo in the shower room of one of the police stations

11/16/2004 7:20:10 PM

yep, thats what it is

11/16/2004 7:22:19 PM

the only thing i don't like about this gta is the girlfriend thing. i like the idea, but i don't like the execution. i like the added experience, but i don't like having to be in a certain shape, or showing up at a certain time, and then when successful, only upping your relationship 5%.

and then, the two chicks that don't require ANYTHING are never home (Denise and Millie). I can't continue the casino heist b/c millie's never home for me to date her. gay.

with that said, has anyone been successful with getting millie in the sack? what do i have to do for her to be home? i've read the girlfirend FAQ at gamefaqs.com, but its not much help.

11/16/2004 9:36:11 PM

wear the gimp suit and have the dildo equipped....

works every time

11/17/2004 1:36:14 AM

lol

11/17/2004 1:54:16 AM

possible spoiler...maybe...


























i am on the monster truck mission and damn that thing is fuckin awesome. i drove it straight to a garage and saved it for later. i may get a couple more in some other garages before actually doin the mission. it's cool as hell.

11/17/2004 1:59:12 AM

remedy for all ills: spawn jet pack


Just for the record my game file is un adulterated.

11/17/2004 3:07:11 AM

un adulterated?

11/17/2004 3:17:09 AM

yeah it's just a bunch of kids running around... un adulterated

11/17/2004 8:05:29 AM

Quote :

"Just for the record my game file is un adulterated."

same here, with over $58 million in bank

11/17/2004 12:46:12 PM

can anyone give me directions to Inside Track in San Fiero?

11/17/2004 1:20:07 PM

isn't it on the big fold-out map? not trying to be an ass, because i really don't know, but that should be your best bet.

11/17/2004 6:27:26 PM

i cant find it on the big map for san fierro but it is on the los santos part of the map

11/17/2004 6:44:06 PM

is there a difference between the different inside tracks?

11/17/2004 10:21:11 PM

damn i just got this game this weekend...i wish that i wasnt doing a co-op right now. i can't afford to skip work but i could skip class if i was in school. i havent gotten very far but this is awesome.

11/17/2004 10:55:32 PM

I LIKE TO KILL PEOPLE

11/17/2004 11:08:27 PM

i took over all the gang territiory and maxed out my respect level do i still have to do the other stupid missions and shit
a
r
g

11/17/2004 11:34:26 PM

once you leave san andreas for fierro, gang territory is fixed...do you ever to fight gang wars again?

11/17/2004 11:51:37 PM

speaking of gang wars, we've done all but one vagos territory

we don't see it on the map- anyone know if it's a hard to find location (like a tiny strip, ie ballas near jefferson)?

11/17/2004 11:55:49 PM

how do you know you only have one left?

11/18/2004 12:17:27 AM

once you beat the gang war they become yours so he only has one spot left to start up a gang war i guess

11/18/2004 12:29:38 AM

huh?

11/18/2004 12:49:34 AM

in the stats, under "gangs", it gives you the territories held info. we've got 63, vagos 1, and ballas 0

but we can't seem to find that 1. we could wait around and see which one of our territories gets attacked because gangs attack territories adjacent to them. but we don't really feel like waiting around. i guess we'll have to

11/18/2004 12:56:58 AM

from what I've heard, that last territory is in the upper left corner of the map. near the docks below the boating school.

11/18/2004 1:31:19 AM