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3/26/2010 12:33:57 PM

badminton class

3/28/2010 11:09:23 PM

how is badmiton class a FWP?

3/29/2010 9:13:32 AM

^ in a third world country, the birdie is really a bird

3/29/2010 10:15:53 AM

I have to fart, but I don't want it to make any noise because there are other people in my office area.

3/29/2010 10:16:45 AM

Stolen from FMyLife, but I thought it was hilarious, I may have to make my new hobby spoiling the endings of books:

Quote :

"Today, I borrowed a novel about Sherlock Holmes from the library and detective novels are always my favorite. I turned a few pages to where characters are introduced. On one of the name, apparently someone circled and wrote "He is the murderer" right next to it. FML"

3/29/2010 11:55:29 AM

sammich shop didn't put ranch on my buffalo chicken wrap

3/29/2010 12:47:06 PM

Just got Rick Roll'd by Mark Steyn filling in for Rush Limbaugh.

3/29/2010 12:49:59 PM

my brother has been listening to nothing but sappy love songs for a week.


it's annoying the piss out of me. if i hear "i can't fight this feeling anymore" one more time i'm going to snap.

3/29/2010 12:52:22 PM

I really want a cookie but don't have any. If I buy one at a food place around work, they're gigantic and I only want to eat a portion of it, but know I'll eat the whole thing.

3/29/2010 1:42:34 PM

FUCK DAT I JUST LIVE

3/29/2010 1:44:23 PM

has no job and is broke......oh wait. Not sure these count.

am I doin it rite?

3/29/2010 2:12:03 PM

These TGIFridays Cheese Sticks are not good. But I eat them anyways.

3/29/2010 3:22:32 PM

last night i had a total first world problem

i was trying to watch the ncaa tourney but there was a tornado warning so the weather was on and i had to watch the game on standard definition

it sucked

it was like watching something from 1902

3/29/2010 6:08:21 PM

life is so tough without dvr

mystery mondays only come on disc health which is only on digital cable in gboro so i don't get it in my room

and i have no dvr

and 10 - 11 is too late for me to stay up and watch.

3/29/2010 8:52:18 PM

FWP repeat from page 1:

I was washing a car while at my job at the dealership and my thumbnail caught on something and lifted off the nail bed. and I got dirty soapy water in under it. it hurt so FUCKING bad.

oh yea and now I can't use the trackpad on my blackberry because my thumb is all busted up

3/29/2010 9:42:35 PM

this chick I have been Facebook-stalking has now set her photos to "Private"

3/29/2010 9:44:46 PM

aha so you're Melissa Serrano from california!!

Joie I found the creeper

3/29/2010 10:00:02 PM

I dunno what I'll watch after I finish all the Weeds and Dexter episodes...
Lost is almost done too

3/29/2010 10:07:00 PM

autoplaying internet ads are at least 20 times louder than anything else you're watching/playing

3/30/2010 1:25:12 AM

Got up early to download the new MW2 map pack, hasn't been posted yet. Guess I'll just go to work.

3/30/2010 8:36:45 AM

i have so many pairs of shoes, and so many clothes, that I actually forget what I own. As I was bringing out my sandals and flip flops out for spring/summer a week or so ago, I ran across 2 pairs of shoes I didn't even remember I owned.

3/31/2010 12:14:34 PM

i think i own far more clothes that don't fit me then do :/


working on it though

3/31/2010 1:30:12 PM

My sandwich place didn't have Diet Coke at the fountain machine today

4/1/2010 1:20:19 PM

was out hiding easter eggs in the dark without shoes

stepped in dog shit

4/3/2010 8:45:20 PM

allergies are bothering me

and the pharmacies closed at 6pm

so i couldn't get the pseudo-meth shit

4/3/2010 8:48:10 PM

^ I found out the 6PM on Saturdays thing tonight as well when I went for my ambien refill.

Looks like I'll be getting to sleep the old fashioned way







beer

4/3/2010 8:51:52 PM

My guy friend invited me to accompany him (as a friend) on a 5-day, all-inclusive corporate retreat in. Mexico. I really want to go. Our mutual friends say I can't bc they're pretty sure he will try to put the moves on me.

Such a bummer.

4/3/2010 9:55:45 PM

go anyways.

4/3/2010 10:10:20 PM

Idon't want to lead him on, but I do want a free trip to Mexico. Dammit!

4/3/2010 10:19:03 PM

i gave a friend that same advice when she got a similar invitation

4/3/2010 10:55:24 PM

he's definitely gonna try and get you drunk and naked

duh

although it may depend on how aggressive he is, he may just hope that 5 days in mexico and alcohol will lead to something happening

[Edited on April 3, 2010 at 10:59 PM. Reason : .]

4/3/2010 10:58:08 PM

he's definitely gonna try and get you drunk and naked

4/3/2010 10:59:19 PM

doooo it

just sleep on the couch or something.. i dunno, it'd be crazy to give up that trip though

[Edited on April 3, 2010 at 11:02 PM. Reason : asf]

4/3/2010 11:02:25 PM

I don't think you can do that sort of thing and get away without blowing SOMETHING.

So, yea, if you want his genitals outside your body, you probably shouldn't go.

4/3/2010 11:04:12 PM

I say go

unless he's completely revolting or in that brotherish kind of way, then what's wrong w/ a little drunken nookie in a different country among friends???

4/3/2010 11:06:41 PM

The more I think about it, the more I think it might be a bad idea to go. He really likes me and wants to date me. I love his personality, sense of humor, intelligence, etc. But physically, there's no attraction. He's like a brother to me.

He said it would just be a friendly trip, but I don't really believe him, so I prob shouldn't go at all.

Boooooo!

4/3/2010 11:24:13 PM

just go and give him a handy and then dont return his calls for a month

4/3/2010 11:26:05 PM

LK knows whats up

sorry i missed you at BADA the other night

did Danny at least tell you I said hello?

4/3/2010 11:26:18 PM

shit, i forgot........i think

4/3/2010 11:27:03 PM

hahaha

4/3/2010 11:27:25 PM

A handy? ROFL

That makes me just thinking about it.

Haha, no Mexico then.

4/3/2010 11:32:02 PM

Yes he forgot! Oh well you'll have to let me know next time you might head up that way

but lucy, wise choice if he's like a brother.

4/4/2010 12:14:12 AM

All the food I got at the Bulls game made my jaw hurt while eating the last few bites of the pretzel.

4/4/2010 12:16:02 AM

this imitrex is giving me cotton mouth

^"these pretzels are making me thirsty"
I need to go to bed.

4/4/2010 12:52:27 AM

my tits don't fit into anything

4/4/2010 1:37:32 AM

4/4/2010 1:38:23 AM

*insert dirty joke about jens tits fitting into something here*

4/4/2010 1:38:30 AM

my wife is watching a chick flick on the big screen and I want to play MW2

4/4/2010 1:51:26 AM

set up these problems

4/4/2010 1:57:06 AM