Dear resume,

Please intrigue someone enough to call.

THX,

4nik8r

4/20/2008 10:18:53 PM

Dear hair,
Are you mad at me for the dye job?
I was tired of living life as a blonde.
Please don't fall out.
<3

4/20/2008 10:18:54 PM

dear taillight for my bike,

thank you for being there so i dont get hit by some crazy ass city driver



LunaK

4/20/2008 10:19:55 PM

dear person in my brain that talks to me,

i dont like you too much i dont think

4/20/2008 10:21:02 PM

Dear long term memory,
Please work tonight so I can do uber well on my test tomorrow. K. Thx.

WtchyWmn

4/20/2008 10:21:06 PM

Dear pizza,

Please leave me alone. I do not want to eat you.
You will make me fatter. I do not like you at all.
Go the fuck away. Please do not talk to me.

Erica

4/20/2008 10:21:51 PM

Dear tent,

Plz to dry overnight. You take up way too much space in the sun room.

Thanks,
C

4/20/2008 10:22:11 PM

dear massive pimple on my forehead,

please be gone by tuesday night. thanks a bunch!

your friend forever,

tutu

4/20/2008 10:22:19 PM

Dear Local News,

Please stop making me paranoid.

Kthnx,
Lelacake

4/20/2008 10:28:40 PM

dear hacking cough,

please go away so i can sleep

kthx

luna

4/22/2008 10:53:05 PM

dear June 30,
please get here sooner, that'd be great, yeah

4/22/2008 10:54:23 PM

dear ice cream float,


please be tasty, I was hongry but didn't want to put much effort into this

thanks!

4/22/2008 10:57:40 PM

Dear post #4600,

Please bring me notoriety and awesomeness. I haven't asked for much, and won't ask for much in the future. I think I deserve it, but will leave it up to you. You're the best.

Kindest, warmest, most sincere regards,

d7freestyler

4/22/2008 10:58:37 PM

dear last 1/4 of a red bull,
i have a lot of vodka left.
multiply yourself.

now.

thank you

joie.

4/22/2008 11:00:14 PM

dear beer,
you are almost all gone.
multiply yourself.
but not in the form of urine.
k thx, bye

4/23/2008 12:46:55 AM

dear money,

make babies

kthx

4/23/2008 12:48:15 AM

dear babies,

make money.

i need to pay your child support. bastards.

4/23/2008 12:49:46 AM

dear miller lite,

plz to make the scary things chasing me in my dreams go away. kthx.

Vix

4/23/2008 12:50:11 AM

dear wake up call,

how about showing up tomorrow morning?

wtf were you doing this morning, sleeping in or some shit?

good thing i was cheating on you with the cell phone alarm

<3 wolfy

4/23/2008 12:51:47 AM

dear public restroom

why do you have to be so dirty? it's as though you welcome hairy-old-man urine as some sort of sustenance.

wishing you were disease-free,
federal

4/23/2008 12:57:56 AM

Dear Nebulous Anxiety,
Go away so I can sleep.
Sincerely yours,
Lelacake

4/23/2008 3:35:34 AM

Dear Internal Server Error,

Fuck off!

That is all.

WW

4/23/2008 3:39:23 AM

Dear Kleenex,
Please don't rip apart when I'm climaxing, the keyboard hates it...
-3 of 11

4/23/2008 3:43:59 AM

Dear SPSS,
Why do you take half an hour to configure and load on the school computers that you are already supposed to be installed on? Why doesn't my Unity account remember these settings so I don't have to sit through this procedure every time I use a different computer in the lab?
HALF AN HOUR.
SO I CAN GET ONE GRAPH.
Hugs and kisses,
Furikuchan.

4/23/2008 4:31:17 AM

^ hahah, I hate SPSS. Almost as much as Maple.


Dear clouds,

Please depart today. I need a little sunshine

-C

[Edited on April 23, 2008 at 8:31 AM. Reason : ]

4/23/2008 8:31:12 AM

dear wake up call,

thanks for showing up this morning. the cell phone still beat you. i admit, you're my backup plan

<3 wolfy

4/23/2008 7:35:41 PM

Dear Gym

Lose the coffee shop, its bad enough the Library has a video game room.

Sincerely
-3 of 11

4/23/2008 7:40:53 PM

dear the gnat that landed in my eye and the grease that followed while wiping it out,

please go away and make my eye quit feeling like there's a lump on it

thanks,
schpenxel

4/23/2008 7:42:45 PM

Grandma,

I'm so sorry that my parents let you die in that nursing home. We all knew your time was short after the stroke, you were the strongest person I've ever known and I miss you.

Love,

Parks.

4/23/2008 7:45:10 PM

not inanimate...but...

Dear middle schoolers running up and down the hallway in my hotel,

STOP YOU FUCKING MONGRELS...DO YOU NOT SEE THE "PLEASE DO NOT DISTURB SIGN" OUTSIDE MY DOOR???? this USUALLY indicates that someone is trying to have PEACE and QUIET. fuck you, and fuck your parents for not teaching you how to not slam doors

signed,
your angry 25 yr old that's acting like she's 50 across the hall,
me

5/3/2008 10:07:07 PM

should have stayed at a holiday inn express

5/3/2008 10:09:45 PM

Dear dirty socks,

I've worn you for days because I don't feel like doing laundry. I know it's wrong, but now I don't want any other socks. Marry me?

d7freestyler

P.S. - keep quiet or joie will wash you.

5/3/2008 10:10:24 PM

dude i'm at a homewood suites...i didn't expect this shit here

5/3/2008 10:10:57 PM

are you on a work related trip?

5/3/2008 10:12:20 PM

unfortunately no

5/3/2008 10:20:59 PM

so why arent you OUT PARTYIN???!!1

5/3/2008 10:22:15 PM

Dear Vending Machine outside the Daniels Hall ITECS helpdesk,

Please tell the dim-witted, middle-aged fat man who stocks you that Dr. Pepper is NOT Sprite and should not be dispensed when the Sprite button is selected. You make those of us who do not drink dark sodas very angry when we expect to see a silver&green can of condensating and refreshing goodness but instead throw out an ugly red can of crap totally unworthy of my 65 cents.

Cheers,

Jessie

5/5/2008 5:25:26 PM

Dear pants

I will clean you as soon as the dryer gets hooked up. You do not smell pleasant but you are my cleanest pair.

Thanks

JAG

5/5/2008 5:26:50 PM

^^haha...that sucks, just be thankful it wasnt some diet bull shit

5/5/2008 5:27:55 PM

Dear bull shit,

I had no idea that they made a diet version of you. I may have to try it.

JAG

5/5/2008 5:30:29 PM

Dear HP 10BII calculator,

I know I lost your leather case, and I'm sorry. But I think it's time you get over yourself and come home. I have a final tomorrow that I need your moral and technical support for.

KThanks,

Jessie

5/5/2008 5:33:14 PM

dear guitars, tiki bars, alcohol, and other fun things


thanks, yall keep me entertained and I plan on visiting again soon


-colter

5/5/2008 5:44:20 PM

Dear beer,

Please stop making me do stupid things that could get me into trouble. It's horrible having to have someone tell me what I did the night before because I don't remember. I love you, but this has got to stop.

Your friend, Sean.

5/5/2008 6:00:29 PM

Dear 4:00 tomorrow,

Can you get here a little faster? Thx.

-C

5/5/2008 8:49:43 PM

Dear hormones,

STFU. I'm trying to study. kthx.

-Vix

5/5/2008 9:02:11 PM

Quote :

"Dear bull shit, I had no idea that they made a diet version of you. I may have to try it. JAG"

holy shit that was awesome
thank you for the LOL

5/5/2008 9:05:38 PM

Dear Park,


great water


-poopface

5/5/2008 9:07:38 PM

dear dead bee in my trashcan

please go take ur soul and tell all ur little bee friends not to come into my room

thanks

evl

5/5/2008 9:10:16 PM

dear frig

plz to create more mixers for the liquor i just found

right now i have pepsi and a little bit of milk

this isn't good

thanks,
me

5/5/2008 9:11:19 PM

Dear Mama,

You are appreciated

-2pac

5/5/2008 9:11:27 PM