ThePeter TWW CHAMPION 37709 Posts user info edit post |
Yeah, something came up....I'll be staying late at work today 5/17/2011 12:13:35 PM |
grimx #maketwwgreatagain 32337 Posts user info edit post |
lolol, first entry will be about thepeter 5/17/2011 12:14:08 PM |
BlackJesus Suspended 13089 Posts user info edit post |
I had this argument a few pages back and have concluded that TWW is full of punks. 5/17/2011 12:14:13 PM |
sawahash All American 35321 Posts user info edit post |
confess to me. 5/17/2011 8:48:52 PM |
sawahash All American 35321 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "i fell asleep in my office and someone walked in on me... laying on the floor passed out with my raincoat over my face " |
5/17/2011 9:52:21 PM |
wolfpackgrrr All American 39759 Posts user info edit post |
^ haha I had something similar happen to me awhile back. Thankfully I had locked the door 5/17/2011 9:53:24 PM |
ScubaSteve All American 5523 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "I have a sister that had a baby and doesn't know who the baby daddy is. Had I known she didn't know I would of paid for an abortion or at least tried to convince her to do it. I no longer associate with her. She's the black sheep of the family." |
5/17/2011 10:47:56 PM |
evlbuxmbetty All American 3633 Posts user info edit post |
^
don't give up on your sister, there is a lot of happiness to be had in that relationship, especially with a new life... you could be part of their happiness!! 5/17/2011 10:53:13 PM |
Slave Famous Become Wrath 34079 Posts user info edit post |
ha just saw this
Quote : | ""When I was a freshman in college, my assigned roommate never showed up, so I had the place to myself for the whole semester. Though I'd like to say it was a regular whore house, the truth is that ended up being mainly a jack shack. For me. I didn't have much luck with the ladies. Between my acne and the fact that I was a good 30 pounds overweight, I struggled to have really any interaction at all with them. I might've talked beyond a "hello" with maybe 3-4 girls all year. The furthest I got with any of them was a kiss on the cheek, and that girl stole my wallet.
As you may expect, a nineteen year old boy is going to have a lot of pent up sexual aggression when he's not getting any action. So, several times a day, I locked my door, loaded up my torrents and just beat the living fuck out of my genitals. I've always been a no lube guy, so with that kind of abuse, I had trouble wearing boxer briefs for some time. But no matter how sore and sensitive I got, I pressed on. Day after day, night after night. If I didn't ejaculate 30 times in any given week, it was an upset.
So as a byproduct of all this jerking, I inevitably produced a lot of the white stuff. The love gravy. The creamy goodness. The man chowder. Whatever you want to call it, its messy and can ruin suede blazers. I had to find somewhere to put it! Considered the ol' reliables...tissues, socks, water bottles...but quite frankly they bored me. You see, I like to see the results of my efforts. I like to see the arc of the shot. And any of the aforementioned deprives me of this. I liken it to hitting on a real ball field vs hitting in a batting cage. I want to see where it goes.
So in that moment of transcendence, I happen to glance to my right, where I see the furnace for my room. Its a real piece of shit. And I have probably one of the biggest fans you've ever seen, so I rarely even use the thing. But its got something I can use. Its got a nice flat panel about thigh high, right next to my jerk chair. Probably about eighteen inches by two feet. Its got a nice surface, straight enough that the nut won't pool or run off the side. It'll be a nice target.
Big Day for me. I'm breaking in my new landing strip. I can't recall exactly what spurred me along that time, but I want to say it definitely had something to do with Kobe Tai. It was one of those really intense boners where it actually points slightly upward like a fucked up rim in Carmichael. When I felt the first signs of impending glory, I stood up and turned ninety degrees so I was directly in front of the furnace. Feet shoulder width apart, knees slightly bent. I could've been bracing to cum or playing strong safety and you wouldn't have known the difference. Hips bucking wildly as I furiously churn the final few strokes.
BOOM. My eyes close and my knees buckle. This was going to be a good one. Not one of those bullshit loads where you get distracted and half ass it just to finish before your mom calls you down for dinner. This was Northian. The thing I remember the most about the first rope was just how fast it was. The velocity was just incredible. Were I fortunate enough to have an actual human partner on that occasion, it would probably have left a mark. It splattered down on the furnace surface with a satisfying kerplunk.
I'm not as proud with the rest of the batch. There were a couple decent ones, but most could have been spewed forth by any pubescent 12 year old without a great deal of effort. First one was an obvious A, but the total package grade was only a C+. Bit of a letdown. Nevertheless, my aim was pinpoint, having been nearly perfect save for a stray splatter on the curtains. But fuck those curtains. The important thing was that I had found my new best friend.
In three and a half months, I jacked off more than you probably did your whole college career. Literally nonstop. I skipped classed to jack off. I went to classes then went to the bathroom and jacked off. I would do that thing where you don't even stop jacking after the first nut and keep going straight through to the second. If I didn't answer my phone, it was probably because I was jacking off. It consumed me. It was all I did. I had under a 2.0 GPA. I was out of shape. I had no friends and I couldn't get a bitch. All I had was dirty magazines and sticky fingertips. I was a fucking loser.
But look at me now."" |
5/17/2011 11:02:27 PM |
DalesDeadBug In Pressed Silk 2978 Posts user info edit post |
^^^that's an odd way to handle the situation. everyone is different, but had one of my sisters been in that situation i would be all about helping out and being a part of that child's life BECAUSE there was no father figure. that's blood mang.
[Edited on May 17, 2011 at 11:02 PM. Reason : ] 5/17/2011 11:02:38 PM |
Kiwi All American 38546 Posts user info edit post |
that one about the sister is horrible, shame on you for not supporting her in a time of need. Unless there is more to the story like she was on drugs during the pregnancy or something. We all make mistakes, if we don't have our family who do we have?? 5/17/2011 11:06:13 PM |
evlbuxmbetty All American 3633 Posts user info edit post |
ho-ly shit
[Edited on May 17, 2011 at 11:07 PM. Reason : ^^^] 5/17/2011 11:07:07 PM |
grimx #maketwwgreatagain 32337 Posts user info edit post |
lol! 5/17/2011 11:55:19 PM |
ClassicMixup All American 3877 Posts user info edit post |
haha I really thought that was Slave Famous' confession 5/18/2011 9:34:14 AM |
grimx #maketwwgreatagain 32337 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "so I thought of you last night while I was in bed" |
5/18/2011 9:37:16 AM |
pttyndal WINGS!!!!! 35217 Posts user info edit post |
O.o 5/18/2011 9:38:18 AM |
DivaBaby19 Davidbaby19 45208 Posts user info edit post |
oh dag
I want some confessions like that
or just confessions in general ok 5/18/2011 9:44:49 AM |
grimx #maketwwgreatagain 32337 Posts user info edit post |
i'll tell them to send them to you in the future
] 5/18/2011 9:45:22 AM |
Samwise16 All American 12710 Posts user info edit post |
I, too, would like confessions
Good ones - no fucking around
Quote : | "let's fuck around!
but seriously:
My team has been doing IT pentesting & compliance for a certain part of an unlisted department in an obscure govt agency that is part of a bigger umbrella agency. The other day we were using an ITF to test a monitoring db. A TWWer's name came up. It caught my eye because it's not a common name...after a quick inquiry, I know for a fact it's an active TWWer. They've got some very interesting internet traffic that is being logged." |
[Edited on May 18, 2011 at 9:57 AM. Reason : .]5/18/2011 9:45:55 AM |
grimx #maketwwgreatagain 32337 Posts user info edit post |
glad my name is super common 5/18/2011 9:58:48 AM |
MinkaGrl01
21814 Posts user info edit post |
big brother is out there 5/18/2011 10:00:28 AM |
ThePeter TWW CHAMPION 37709 Posts user info edit post |
0.o 5/18/2011 10:23:30 AM |
arghx Deucefest '04 7584 Posts user info edit post |
Shit. They're on to me. 5/18/2011 11:27:12 AM |
se7entythree YOSHIYOSHI 17377 Posts user info edit post |
wow 5/18/2011 2:31:28 PM |
Slave Famous Become Wrath 34079 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "Two of my coworkers are being let go tomorrow and it's eating me alive inside. They of course don't know anything about it. I can't make eye contact. I hate this but I can't do anything. " |
[Edited on May 18, 2011 at 2:53 PM. Reason : x]5/18/2011 2:40:33 PM |
ScubaSteve All American 5523 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "The baby was the final straw for me with her. She has a long history of screw ups and at 26 I see no chance of her turning it around. Also she is the type that you only see when something is going wrong. With that said I do feel kinda guilty about not taking part in the babies life. I'm still confused on how a person can sleep with people and not know who they slept with?" |
5/18/2011 5:55:07 PM |
pttyndal WINGS!!!!! 35217 Posts user info edit post |
5/18/2011 5:57:35 PM |
Samwise16 All American 12710 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "at work the other day some people were talking about having a small party in the conference room during their lunch hour, but i heard them talking and they didnt invite me cause they think im a dick
i just now finally got the schedule worked out where the conference room and the media room are now unavailable for the entire week during lunch
so, i guess im a dick " |
yikes5/18/2011 6:18:38 PM |
EMCE balls deep 89771 Posts user info edit post |
Aha, goddamn thats some cruel, childish shit 5/18/2011 6:24:24 PM |
BIGswoll187 All American 3729 Posts user info edit post |
damn its some crazy shit going on in here 5/18/2011 6:25:22 PM |
BridgetSPK #1 Sir Purr Fan 31378 Posts user info edit post |
AHAHA
I thought you guys would be more accepting.
[Edited on May 18, 2011 at 6:37 PM. Reason : My bad.] 5/18/2011 6:33:57 PM |
Samwise16 All American 12710 Posts user info edit post |
what
the
fuck 5/18/2011 6:35:01 PM |
ShinAntonio Zinc Saucier 18947 Posts user info edit post |
^ 5/18/2011 6:36:58 PM |
LunaK LOSER :( 23634 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "my s.o. joined a dating site somewhat recently. they act patronizingly whenever i say it bothers me, but really, what good can come from trolling a dating site when you're in a closed relationship??
welp " |
ditto to the
and holy gross ^^^ 5/18/2011 6:38:23 PM |
evlbuxmbetty All American 3633 Posts user info edit post |
taking confessions now! 5/18/2011 8:35:41 PM |
jtw208 5290 Posts user info edit post |
aww what did BridgetSPK post? 5/18/2011 8:46:20 PM |
EMCE balls deep 89771 Posts user info edit post |
she said that she had sex with me about 6 years ago
truly disgusting. 5/18/2011 8:47:17 PM |
evlbuxmbetty All American 3633 Posts user info edit post |
5/18/2011 8:49:23 PM |
jtw208 5290 Posts user info edit post |
i dunno... usually reactions like the ones above are usually only elicited by pictures of bestiality or the like
usually not just text
[Edited on May 18, 2011 at 8:50 PM. Reason : usually] 5/18/2011 8:49:47 PM |
ScubaSteve All American 5523 Posts user info edit post |
hahaha and now we know why this is the PM some one a confession and not post a confession thread 5/18/2011 8:50:05 PM |
Samwise16 All American 12710 Posts user info edit post |
it had to do with feet, blisters, pus, and consumption
take from that what you will 5/18/2011 9:16:31 PM |
LunaK LOSER :( 23634 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "I recently signed up for a dating site, and all of the top recommendations were wolfwebbers. FML. " |
5/18/2011 9:51:17 PM |
evlbuxmbetty All American 3633 Posts user info edit post |
inbox = red
5/18/2011 9:59:26 PM |
Wordsworth All American 2888 Posts user info edit post |
me want 5/18/2011 10:09:32 PM |
Wordsworth All American 2888 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "I pooped in the refrigerator. And I ate the whole wheel of cheese." |
5/19/2011 12:51:27 AM |
chocolatervh All American 22986 Posts user info edit post |
hey i'm up late... maybe i can get a confession now 5/19/2011 1:07:54 AM |
BubbleBobble Super Duper Veteran 114363 Posts user info edit post |
the everybody is asleep web 5/19/2011 1:17:35 AM |
chocolatervh All American 22986 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER
" |
[Edited on May 19, 2011 at 1:21 AM. Reason : oh noez]5/19/2011 1:21:13 AM |
grimx #maketwwgreatagain 32337 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "In my head I was thinking: "If I was walking down the road and one side had wiggers and the other side had niggers - I would choose the niggers"" |
i, too, would choose the fine black gentlemen
Quote : | "Unless I had a purse full of collard greens" |
there was MOAR]5/19/2011 11:43:59 AM |
BridgetSPK #1 Sir Purr Fan 31378 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "A friend of mine got engaged not too long ago. I want to feel happy for her but almost everyone in our mutual circle of friends think she's making a big mistake. The guy is extraordinarily obnoxious, to the point she is constantly embarrassed by him, they fight constantly, and word on the street is she basically bullied the guy into engagement. I think she doesn't want to get married to this guy, she just wants a wedding to keep up with her friends, which is the worst reason to get married imo. We've talked about expressing our concerns to her but I know that would be a friendship breaker. Instead we'll probably keep our thoughts to ourselves and quietly breathe, "I knew it," when they get divorced, and get to listen to what a shitty husband he was the rest of our lives, even though she is much more the instigator than he is. I just hope they don't have kids to ruin in the divorce process." |
5/19/2011 1:54:54 PM |