My cock is friendly

Quote :

"apparently the chapel hill police dept doesn't mind prior marijuana usage. my cop friend said the places he applied were more bothered by poor credit scores than the drugs."

Yeah, I doubt they'd care that much. I mean you hire hackers to catch hackers, why not catch drug users to catch drug users?

[Edited on June 2, 2011 at 10:33 PM. Reason : Thats right, i'm leaving that at the top of the page]

6/2/2011 10:33:41 PM

Don't listen to him, Sam. Z's cock is anything but friendly.

6/2/2011 10:46:38 PM

My cock was featured on care bears.

6/2/2011 10:52:34 PM

I know someone who has smoked weed and is now a cop. Make sure is hasn't been in the last 18 months tho.

6/2/2011 10:55:10 PM

Quote :

"Answer: the latter "

Well then we agree

6/2/2011 10:55:11 PM

Quote :

"I never could tell if one of my exes was circumcised. I wanted to know but thought that would have been an odd thing to ask. "

i'll take more

6/3/2011 11:00:51 AM

Quote :

"Update: I haven't really shoplifted but I did get a free pair of pants. I thought about shoplifting them but I bought them instead, then as I was leaving the store I saw that they came in a different color and ended up exchanging them before I left. I realized shortly afterwards that the sales associate messed up and actually returned them, crediting the money back to my account and giving me free pants. I wore them today to work. and I went to lift something heavy and they split down my ass. At first I was since that were my new pants but then I was since I hadn't spent money on them anyways. "

6/3/2011 1:59:50 PM

Quote :

"I had a dream last night that Courtney Love recommended I walk around with a big ass pink dildo for the "fun" of it. It was like one of those big dick dildos complete with nuts that you usually hit people with. I was like "yo Cort" the nuts are uncomfrotable, wth??" She told me to walk it off to loosen it up. What was weird is I could "feel" it in the dream. "

wtf indeed

Quote :

"while I'm head over heels over one girl, tonight I was reminded why I have feelings for another girl who I'm super, super close with"

I've always thought you could have feelings/be in love with multiple people at a time. The difficulty is when nobody wants to share

6/4/2011 11:47:36 AM

Quote :

"The difficulty is when nobody wants to share "

I-I-I-I just want someone to love me best!

6/4/2011 11:49:06 AM

^^^^ If you have to think about it.....

6/4/2011 1:01:12 PM

[Edited on June 4, 2011 at 3:46 PM. Reason : naw can't share this one]

6/4/2011 3:43:47 PM

Quote :

"A family member recently told me I was starting nesting to get ready to have kids. At the time I laughed and shrugged it off as him messing with me, but I think he was right. Not that I want to have any soon, but I'm starting to think about the "starting a family" side of my life a lot more than I expected to just a few months ago."

6/5/2011 1:00:42 PM

<-----send your confessions

6/6/2011 2:34:07 PM

Quote :

"my libido is out of control i'm probably going to jump on the next halfway decent looking/charming/intelligent/non-greasy/twenty something male who hits on me it must be the heat"

6/6/2011 11:48:49 PM

^SLUT!!!!!!!!!!

6/6/2011 11:49:55 PM

tell her i said

i fit all the criteria except one month past twenty something!

oh and the charming thing prob

also,

<----confessions!

6/6/2011 11:50:22 PM

^^^PM me I fit all that

[Edited on June 6, 2011 at 11:52 PM. Reason : .]

6/6/2011 11:51:26 PM

Quote :

"I secretly keep a running list of all the people that I sleep with. Not to show off, but just so I can keep up with who I have been with. The farther down the list I get the names get more and more less names and more and more "The guy that was from _____ at _____ bar" or just whatever name I decided to call that guy that night, even if it wasn't his real name."

6/6/2011 11:59:05 PM

Quote :

" you can't turn a hoe into a housewife, that guy that married thumper should've known that"

6/7/2011 12:19:54 AM

damn

6/7/2011 12:20:41 AM

thats not a confession, man up and post it

6/7/2011 12:22:46 AM

Yeah, FAI756843, I think you oughta post the name of the "confessor" or delete the "confession."

If somebody wants to anonymously talk shit, they need to buy a new account for an alias just like everybody else does.

6/7/2011 12:29:07 AM

^^

6/7/2011 1:02:57 AM

Quote :

"I wanna holler at nicklepickle."

6/7/2011 3:49:54 AM

Quote :

"I secretly keep a running list of all the people that I sleep with. Not to show off, but just so I can keep up with who I have been with. The farther down the list I get the names get more and more less names and more and more "The guy that was from _____ at _____ bar" or just whatever name I decided to call that guy that night, even if it wasn't his real name."

Female?

6/7/2011 8:36:14 AM

why list that stuff...

i guess i have a good memory so i don't need to.

6/7/2011 8:47:56 AM

or your list is short

6/7/2011 2:15:05 PM

very

6/7/2011 2:17:14 PM

These are always the best:

Quote :

"So there's this little sweets shop on my jogging route. Today, after a long jog, I ran by, only to see a family of 5 big fat fatties eating their respective ice cream cones. They were lined up single file, exiting the shop as I was pacing toward them at high speed. This was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. I simply could not pass it up. I decided, as I quickly approached them, to do the unthinkable. Running toward them, I began licking my chops. Surely, this would go down in ass-hole infamy. The son, completely occupied with his future bout with diabetes, would be my first victim. I stuck my hand out ever so slightly, and swiped the chocolate off of his sugar cone. The mother then turned around, only to witness her strawberry mound fall innocently to the ground. In her horror, she backed into the father, sending his rocky road down his un-tucked Hawaiin shirt. The father turned around and began to shout. He never thought, in a million years, that somebody could be that big of a dick in public. Satisfied, I licked the sweet evidence of success off of my hands, and scurried home. "

6/7/2011 8:29:23 PM

A+++ that shit is hilarious, god knows they were not going to chase you

6/7/2011 8:35:40 PM

post of the year - a hero!

6/7/2011 8:37:37 PM

YAY my first confession pm!

Quote :

"A long time ago, I made a my first thread on t-dub. It was supposed to troll a bunch a people, but it made me look like I was an idiot... Maybe I am, because you can't really troll t-dub..."

[Edited on June 7, 2011 at 9:12 PM. Reason : ^^^ omg BWAHHAHAHA that is friggin awesome!!]

6/7/2011 9:03:34 PM

the ice cream story delivers but i was totally expecting the confessor to say they stole one of the cones and kept on running!! that would have been awesome too but licking the ice cream covered hand was a sweet ending

6/7/2011 10:07:43 PM

Quote :

" Goddamn, thumper is a cold-hearted cunt. eleusis is so much better off without that worthless sack of shit."

6/7/2011 10:12:24 PM

Quote :

"if my ex gf would have never gotten an abortion we would still be together, it was to much for her to deal with and i never forgave her for making me have to pay for it"

6/7/2011 10:36:37 PM

Ice Cream story is awesome.

6/7/2011 10:58:33 PM

I'll take some

6/8/2011 9:04:19 AM

Quote :

"I have two: 1) I had a very sexually explicit dream about my wife's hot 18 year old sister last night. 2) This one is lame, but I really want to know the begonias/sexpencil story. I don't know these people from Adam, nor do I really care what happened, I just don't want to keep wondering what the hell everyone is alluding to. "

6/8/2011 9:11:08 AM

Quote :

"about a year or so ago i was talking to someone on tww through pm's. well, we ended up exchanging gmail chat id's and then exchanged pics and whatnot. we ended up talking about her coming over to my apt but she revealed that she was married and didn't want to risk her husband finding out. after that revelation I stopped contact. I think i still have her gmail email/id and I wonder if it was thumper or not (the tww name was not thumper, i forget what it is )."

6/8/2011 9:14:54 AM

Quote :

"2) This one is lame, but I really want to know the begonias/sexpencil story. I don't know these people from Adam, nor do I really care what happened, I just don't want to keep wondering what the hell everyone is alluding to."

should've sent that one to me, i'd have told you.

6/8/2011 9:16:08 AM

would you tell me?

6/8/2011 9:17:35 AM

YOU --> <--ME

6/8/2011 9:53:47 AM

help me out of this anger at work... send me a confession!

6/8/2011 10:15:18 AM

Quote :

"what to know what happened to sexpencil? http://webapps6.doc.state.nc.us/opi/viewoffender.do?method=view&offenderID=1228396&searchLastName=parris&searchFirstName=carson&listurl=pagelistoffendersearchresults&listpage=1"

6/8/2011 9:54:13 PM

shit got real

6/8/2011 9:56:45 PM

Pretty weak to post that anonymously, but I guess it's public record.

6/8/2011 10:00:27 PM

did he hit because she cheated?

6/8/2011 10:12:55 PM

So all this hush hush because he hit her....wtf this is weak

6/8/2011 10:14:40 PM

Ohhhhhhhhh, my bad, I didn't realize beating the shit out of someone was okay............. carry on tww, carry on.

6/8/2011 10:16:04 PM

goddamn tww will track your shit down

6/8/2011 10:16:43 PM