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9/6/2004 4:11:49 PM

Dear Stapler,

I think you should go on a diet, you are too heavy to be a normal desk stapler.
Also, you should work with me so that I don't have to slam you shut, and don't spit the staples out when I put them in...

Thank you,

~A~

9/6/2004 4:14:16 PM

Dear Subway wrap,

You are a pussy

I can eat you in one bite

9/8/2004 12:53:05 AM

dear chair,

you are not comfy. you make my back hurt and i hate you. i will replace you as soon as possible.


love,
megan

9/8/2004 12:54:03 AM

dear g-unit sneakers,

why aren't you tough like 50 cent?

9/8/2004 1:03:59 AM

dear bed,
you are so soft and awesome. i am going to lay down on you soon.


love always,
megan

9/8/2004 1:05:21 AM

Dear Shower in Bragaw 305,

Why do you keep accumulating 2 in. of water everytime someone takes a shower?

love,
keith



[Edited on September 8, 2004 at 1:06 AM. Reason : ]

9/8/2004 1:05:54 AM

dear computer keypad,

Why are you hard?

Do u take Viagra?

9/8/2004 1:06:57 AM

Dear multiple guns in the corner,

Please stop making me a violent American.
I don't appreciate how you and your friends do this to us.
It's simply not fair.

9/8/2004 1:10:54 AM

dear air conditioning vent,

i love the way you blow cool air on my face while i am sleeping.

thank you and goodnight

~Megan

9/8/2004 1:13:43 AM

Dear Hoover Vacuum,

You give the best blow jobs.

Sincerely,
Haywood Jablome

9/8/2004 2:26:22 AM

^Not even remotely funny. Try again.

9/8/2004 2:36:40 AM

I loled

9/8/2004 8:02:11 AM

Dear Coffee,

Thank you... just... thank you...

Love,
Drew

9/8/2004 8:23:42 AM

Dear TWW,
Thank you for entertaining me at my job which I could accomplish in 15 mins but is spread out over 7.5 hours...
Love,
~A~

9/8/2004 8:55:27 AM

Dear Ronny's attitude,

Why do you feel good about putting other's down?

Why are your ideas of jokes so bad you couldn't even post one?

You have a hell of a brain to be in

9/8/2004 10:35:20 AM

dear $5 bill i found in my pocket

you won't be around very long
believe dat

thanks

9/8/2004 10:44:20 AM

dear launchcast,

you were here for me before tww
and you will be here for me after tww
thanks

-Brian-

9/8/2004 10:47:39 AM

dear small turbo fan

thank you for blowing on me in my sleep so i dont
sweat in my bed since the a/c is shitty upstairs in my room.

<3
Ryan

[Edited on September 8, 2004 at 10:49 AM. Reason : ]

9/8/2004 10:47:52 AM

Dear Highlighter.

I use and abuse you, but yet you point out the important things in life. And that is why I bought you some friends

9/8/2004 1:01:42 PM

^LOL

Dear printer,
I would love it if you would stop eating the paper as it goes through, causing a jam. I will buy you something to eat if you will tell me what you want, but for now please just shoot the paper in blank and out with writing...

Thank you
~A~

9/8/2004 1:54:48 PM

dear class,

please sleep in, i dont want to attend you today

kkthxu

9/8/2004 1:56:54 PM

Dear lighter,
Please come home. I don't know who stole you or where you are, but I'd like to have you back.
Thanks

9/8/2004 1:57:41 PM

Dear HI 264 textbook,

One day I will buy you so I won't fail this class. Why must you be so damned expensive? I should expect an orgasm for how much I must pay for you.

Sincerely,
Kyle

9/8/2004 1:58:37 PM

Dear Rain,
Stop sucking.
-Melissa

9/8/2004 2:00:03 PM

Dear Soap Opera,
Please don't be boring today.
Thanks,
Leann

9/8/2004 2:01:32 PM

dear $5 i found in my pocket

i miss you alredy

9/8/2004 2:05:02 PM

Oh bottle of vodka,
You sho is a shocka,
When you knock me on my ass real propa,

A few shots to get perked,
Then my vision is murked,
its time to become the drunk monster


Love,
Shashank

9/8/2004 2:08:01 PM

Dear neck muscles,
Please stop aching and making me feel crappy.
Leann

9/8/2004 2:15:35 PM

massages are good for that

9/8/2004 2:29:52 PM

dear stupid program. I am so sick of you. You work now. I wish the program that talks to you worked good too so I never had to see either of you again.

9/8/2004 2:34:44 PM

Dear College

I blame you for me being lazy and procrastinating

If I get fired, it is your fault...

P.S. I miss you

9/8/2004 3:25:47 PM

"Dear Apocalypse's Penis,

Someday you may have a chance to be animated, but I sorta doubt it will be anytime soon. OH SNAP.

Goodluck,
[EnderJRD]"

Dear Peen,

Slap EnderGayRD across the face and spit in his eye.

See ya in a bit,
Apocalypse

9/9/2004 9:19:10 PM

^^you are right Woodfoot

9/9/2004 9:24:39 PM

Dear Dildo,

Why can't you feel more like a real penis? Why does sex with you get old so quickly?

9/9/2004 9:27:50 PM

Dear O.E.800,
thank you for yet another wonderful night. You taste much better than the Schlitz I bought by accident. Do I have to work tomorrow? k bye

9/10/2004 1:00:09 AM

Dr. Lifestyles,

I hope you are not holy today

9/10/2004 2:31:20 AM

dear alcohol,
please make tww more entertaining than it really is.

dear liver,
stfu and laugh.

dear ncsusmyles' dildo,
don't feel bad. things could be worse. you could be enderjrd's dick, for example.

9/13/2004 12:23:51 AM

dear snickers bar,


dear god, you are so good. i love you! thanks for ending my hunger!


love,
megan

9/13/2004 12:24:53 AM

dear pitch black mt dew,
i bought you as a joke, but your turned out to be the best thing that happened to me today. will you at least be avaliable til i can get over your novelty?
love until later,
misha

9/13/2004 12:26:01 AM

dear chocolate,
damn you for being a substitute for sex.
DAMN YOU TO HELL!

9/13/2004 12:26:21 AM

dear social psychology book,

why can't you be more entertaining? i hate falling asleep on you while trying to study for my test. please make more of an attempt to keep me entertained. thanks.

-stephanie

9/13/2004 12:26:36 AM

dear computer,

why do you take so long to start up?

love,

incredible

9/13/2004 12:27:17 AM

dear quietly's panties,

wassup dawg

i keep seein' you all over the place

those parties were off the chain

IT'S A SMALL WORLD

kthxbai

9/13/2004 12:29:09 AM

haha miska, you made me laugh

9/13/2004 12:29:13 AM

dear homework,
thank you for educating me.
you've taught me how incredibly stupid i am.
and i've spent thousands of dollars to find this out.
well, you can smother yourself in chocolate and go to hell too.
cya never.

9/13/2004 1:04:28 AM

dear mini-bong,

you hit like a roar and make the w33d so much nicer.
you are better than my bowl because you have water.
you are easier to clean than my bubbler.
and you are small and compact so you can come with me everywhere.
thank you for being the best all around.

9/13/2004 1:09:33 AM

when a stoner talks to his bong, it's nothing out of the ordinary.

9/13/2004 1:10:49 AM

get ready

9/13/2004 1:12:21 AM

99

9/13/2004 1:12:36 AM