No, you don't. Growing up with does not just mean girls who lived in your neighborhood that you then saw a few years later and wanted to bwn. I mean close relationships analagous to living with someone. It's my opinion that a best friend could fall into this category, though the aforementioned research is more like literally living with someone's family, on a kibbutz, etc., not just bitches you went to school with.

[Edited on January 30, 2006 at 2:24 PM. Reason : .]

1/30/2006 2:22:41 PM

oh, i don't have any that were almost like living with someone...just a couple who lived a mile or two away that i hung out with since i was a kid.

1/30/2006 2:26:54 PM

Yeah, my point probably exceeded the science. I'm just guessing if you were really best friends since you were 7 and spent more time with that person than any other peer, it'd be the same thing.

That's the best I can come up with for a friendship between two people who could be attracted to each other -- people who aren't attracted to each other because they feel literally like siblings (and not just "I think of you like a brother because I won't fuck you" rhetoric).

1/30/2006 2:32:50 PM

Yes it's completely possible, and easier as you get older.....
I can count 6 of my own... No relationship physically or anything more than a friendship, they aren't gay, most are married or engaged, and their significant others have no problem with me.

1/30/2006 2:36:33 PM

Does this image help? or needlessly complicate?

(....yes, I'm bored)

1/30/2006 3:17:45 PM

Quote :

"You mean you were lukewarm about the idea the whole time, he pressured you, you caved, then finally got the guts to reject him a couple weeks later. This was then followed up with a typical girl comment of "you are such a guy that I would marry blah blah" or its equivalent "you are going to make some girl really happy someday""

Haha no. It was completely mutual. I've always done the dumping with the guys I've asked out, but this was mutual with the beginning and end. More of an experiment than anything really.

And he is most definitely not gay.

^I think it confuses if it doesn't help. It's not really complicated. I guess the friendship I have with my high school buddy is probably 6. No tension but we really care about each other and what happens in each other's lives.

Basically YES it's possible to have a friendship with a guy or vice versa without tension, even if the other is attractive and hetero. It's just uncommon. I wouldn't say it's rare, but it's not too commonplace either.

[Edited on January 30, 2006 at 3:24 PM. Reason : ]

1/30/2006 3:23:06 PM

can girls tell that you are attracted to them?

1/30/2006 3:24:06 PM

I would say yes a lot of the time I can tell if a guy friend is attracted or not, but it depends on the level of attraction. For example a different guy friend I had in high school I wasn't interested in dating at all, but later I found out that he really wanted to date me. I had figured he might have been interested, but not to the extent he was.

1/30/2006 3:26:10 PM

so there really is a huge variety of opinions on this.... hmmm.... i am surprised ive gotten so many constructive answers...

1/30/2006 6:25:40 PM

i think you look for alot of the qualities in a friend as you would in a mate. and i think there is some amount of tension that is always there, whether u act on it or not is the question. i have a good friend whos attractive, fun, great gal all around and even though we've slept in the same bed plenty of times nothin has ever gone down. we often laugh and joke about how attrative we find each other but could nevere do anythign bc of how much we value the friendship. so are we truly friends or not???

1/30/2006 6:43:55 PM

^^tally up the correlation between people's answers and their gender

i haven't done it...i just kinda have a feeling.

1/30/2006 7:28:30 PM

At least half of my friends are girls, and most of them are not ugly, and I don't want to have a relationship with them, and never have.

So yes, guys and girls can be just friends.

1/30/2006 7:31:38 PM

I am the roommate that he's alluding to in the initial post...

If men and women are friends at some point, like when they break up with a boyfriend/girlfriend, they may find comfort in the arms of that "friend" and it will turn into something more.

If it's possible, over a long enough period of time, it will happen!

1/30/2006 11:48:51 PM

I have best guy friends who I think of as brothers. One of them is my roomate.
They have been just my friends for years- it is possible.

1/30/2006 11:52:31 PM

^ actually they would love to tap that

1/31/2006 12:02:26 AM

^^yeah, he's either a statistical outlier, or you're misreading the situation.

1/31/2006 12:03:39 AM

Girls are so fucking clueless.

1/31/2006 12:44:08 AM

yes, but

Quote :

"always tension"

1/31/2006 12:49:06 AM

yes. I've had a great friend who is a girl since I was in high school, and I'm 24 now, and I"ve never so much as kissed her. I actually have two other really good friends who i've known all my life or almost all my life, and I've never hooked up with them either. wanted to date one of them in 7th grade, and one when I was a freshman in hs, but I never attempted anything

1/31/2006 7:30:18 AM

wanting to date them makes them not "only friends" so you would be part of the no statistic.

For me, if I'm not physically attracted to them, yes. Otherwise, no matter what, taken or not, that idea is going to be in the back of my mind somewhere.

1/31/2006 8:57:09 AM

alright so even if the idea is still in the back of your head, would you say you could maintain the friendship. b/c i can grant you that the idea did not escape me...

1/31/2006 10:43:04 AM

over the long run.... both the short and long run is no

1/31/2006 11:14:20 AM

Depends how strict you're being. Do you mean no sexual thoughts about the person ever? If so, there probably aren't many relationships, even between those of the same sex, that count.

A little tension doesn't prevent something from being a friendship.

1/31/2006 12:11:50 PM

define friends, and can friends kiss and make out sometimes?

I think they can, trust me its HARD. but once you get over that certain bump its awesome. I love my ex bf from hs, it also took as 2 years and us getting together again and breaking up again etc. to gain our friendship.

1/31/2006 12:20:23 PM

^ I consider making out beyond friendship. I guess that depends on how liberal you are in that, but i personally wouldnt just casually make out with someone....

1/31/2006 12:35:59 PM

well i think its fun but doesn't mean we are anything more. I know the girls he dates and vice versa. Its just one of those things where its just fun and cute b/c we were each other's first.

1/31/2006 3:14:01 PM

Yes I think a guy and girl can truly just be friends. I have plenty of very good guy friends that I would never touch and have never touched. I think its just about how you relate to the person.

1/31/2006 3:31:53 PM

^ Wow are girls really that dumb. Just because you have not touched them doesn't mean they would not get with you if they had the chance.

1/31/2006 4:57:56 PM

Quote :

"Pick a guy who does not meet any of the criterion on the above list that you think is your friend. Then ask yourself this question: If you were both alone at his place one night, and you excused yourself to the bathroom and came out naked and asked him to have sex with you would he: 1. Tell you he doesn't want to risk the beautiful friendship you have created with messy physical entanglements. 2. Comply "

1/31/2006 5:07:02 PM

so can bisexuals have any friends?

1/31/2006 5:27:50 PM

I can think of two guys (possibly 3) I'm friends with who i've never been interested in dating that I'm fairly certain has never been interested in dating me either. One is married though.

1/31/2006 5:46:05 PM

yeah, but the guy will entertain thoughts at some point...

1/31/2006 5:49:51 PM

Quote :

"Do you mean no sexual thoughts about the person ever? If so, there probably aren't many relationships, even between those of the same sex, that count"

homosexual thoughts common? I dont believe this

1/31/2006 6:01:47 PM

yea i found that interesting too....^ i am not sure what you guys think of your male friends but damn if i can remember that ever crossing my mind. but in anycase... I dont think that the thought crossing your mind is a crime, if that was the case, there would be a lot of times about a whole array of issues that would of been inapropiate for any number of topics. I think that if you have a brain that thinks the idea pops in your head, its whether or not u act on them.

All that being said, i will once again say the thought has not escaped me.... but if you truly feel that in the long run that is not someone you would see yourself with, i think it is possible to maintain it. at least so far i have seen this to be the case. more or less i posted this to see what kind of opinions people had on this topic.

2/1/2006 2:33:53 AM

Quote :

"alright so even if the idea is still in the back of your head"

where theres a will theres a way

if the idea is there, chances are ur gonna have that tension, until that idea ceases...u wont ever be close and platonic or however its spelled.

2/1/2006 2:38:13 AM

someone beat me to posting this :

Quote :

"Harry:"A man can never be friends with a woman he finds attractive, he always wants to have sex with her." Sally:"That's not true! I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved." Harry:"No, you don't" Sally:"Yes, I do." Harry:"No, you don't" Sally:"You're saying I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?" Harry:"No, I'm saying they all want to have sex with you." Sally:"Well, what if they don't want to have sex with you?" Harry:"It doesn't matter because the sex part is already out there, so the friendship is ultimately doomed, and that is the end of the story." Sally:"So a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?" Harry:"No, you pretty much want to nail them, too.""

2/1/2006 3:22:10 AM