Just be honest with her and explain that you don't have a job and can't afford to pay for her all the time.

I'm old school in that I love paying for my gf. She sometimes complains but you need to know that it makes them feel special. Loved. I guarantee 100% that she's been talking to some of her big mouth friends who don't know how to mind their own fucking business and are telling her how horrible you are.

If you have the money to pay for her you should try to. If you don't let her know why you didn't.

5/6/2006 7:44:52 AM

if you bust a nut more than she gets off (and especially if you bust it on her face), then you ought to be payin (or at least not be a jew over splitting the cost of a $10 meal).

that's how i see it.

[Edited on May 6, 2006 at 7:50 AM. Reason : ;]

5/6/2006 7:50:27 AM

Quote :

"start calling her baby and telling her to cook your dinner and iron your shirts and i bet all of a sudden she will be a progressive women"

good idea. don't act like equal? don't get treated equal.

5/6/2006 7:54:54 AM

if my girlfriend invites me out to dinner, trys to make me pay, and then bitchs about it later in the evening



im getting A2M, bottom line

[Edited on May 6, 2006 at 1:01 PM. Reason : .]

5/6/2006 1:01:09 PM

You should have paid her tab when her friends were with her idiot...

[Edited on May 6, 2006 at 1:18 PM. Reason : asdf]

5/6/2006 1:06:26 PM

I could write a page long response to this thread. Dont feel like it.

The more you pay the more she will expect. The bitching is inevitable if you paid 75% of the time she would expect 90%. Just keep being a cheap ass. Pretend the relationship is a tug of war game and dont give up any more rope than you have to.

As far as her friends and the money thing dont give her friends an oppertunity to talk shit about you. It will make both of your lives simpler. When you are out with them, then would be a good time to pick up that tab (understanding that in the future she will bitch that you only pay when her friends are around)

5/6/2006 1:11:09 PM

I usually pay for everything.

I don't spend more then 40$ on both of us per weekend either.

5/6/2006 4:19:35 PM

Tell her to stop being a gold digging skank. Then backhand her.

Problem erased.

5/6/2006 4:22:58 PM

Quote :

""maybe it was kind of embarrassing for her when you didn't pay for her at O'Charley's in front of her friends and you just made it worse when you embarrassed her again at Quizno's.""

i think that's mostly what's going on, at least in the instances that you specified. i know how it is though, dating someone that never makes an attempt to pay for things and starts to expect everything handed to them. i dated a girl and i would pay for dinner pretty much everytime, once or twice she would offer to pay dinner but never tried to be even handed about it. she would also never drive and throw a fit if i asked her to, and she would also keep track of if i borrowed a dollar or two to get a diet coke at the gas station.

it comes down to being considerate and it doesn't sound like she is.

5/6/2006 5:44:59 PM

Quote :

"she would also keep track of if i borrowed a dollar or two to get a diet coke at the gas station."

that's pretty sad.

5/6/2006 6:04:50 PM

I didn't read anyone else's stuff

As a general rule, always ask to split the tab before the other person orders - like if you order first, go for your wallet to pay for your portion first, otherwise you end up with awkward situations like what you described.

If you really are that broke and it's an issue for you (and it's ok if it is - we've all been broke before), bring your lunch with you, pack a picnic for both of you (points!), or simply switch off who pays so she pays for you some of the time too (just say stuff like "Hey, I got it last time, is it OK if I let you get it this time?" just make sure you ask BEFORE you order.) Asking to split the tab after is tacky and makes you look like a jerk not just to her but everyone else within earshot.


Oh yeah, and the O'Charlies thing ... I don't see that you were obligated, but neither was she - as soon as you sat down you should have told the waiter/ess that you are paying for your own ... so if you didn't do that there's the problem.

[Edited on May 6, 2006 at 6:18 PM. Reason : .]

5/6/2006 6:16:55 PM

Kiwi shut the fuck up

5/6/2006 6:32:52 PM

response to Quinn:

we both keep a mental log, me more than her but we don't make a big deal ab stuff and will talk openly about it, so yea, no biggie man.

5/6/2006 7:03:59 PM

ActOfGod pretty well covered what i was gona say.

5/6/2006 7:07:57 PM

find you a non-golddigging bitch

My gf never gives me shit about not paying for stuff, its when I pay for stuff that she gives me a hard time. She says she doesnt want me to feel like I have to, and I dont feel like I have to so thats why I do it.

5/6/2006 7:12:13 PM

Damn that Sucks, I'm always the sugga mama, but i don't mind it unless its obvious that he is just broke.

5/6/2006 7:18:31 PM

i think this is a good thread, ive had this problem earlier today

something slightly similar, but I got bitched out for it, thank you prep-e

5/6/2006 7:20:21 PM

Up until recently, my guy and I would split most small things, and he would pay for larger things since he had the real job and I was looking for one/was in college. From now on though, we're going dutch on everything since I also have a real job.

As a general rule, whoever has more money should pay for things more. Forget that bullshit about treating your girl, it is antiquated and doesn't belong in a society becoming more egalitarian.

Also, if she's not a total spoiled brat, she should appreciate any thought you direct towards her to make her feel special, whether with better sex, unexpected dinners you have cooked, etc. You don't need to spend any money to show you care. The best times I've had have been cooking good dinners and listening to music at home.

5/6/2006 8:03:25 PM

i only read the first couple lines in the first post

my advice is to dump her.

5/6/2006 8:59:21 PM

wow, i didn't think anyone would respond to this. thanks to everyone that gave their input.

we talked it out last night and she told me that she doesn't expect me to pay all the time or even the majority of the time, the main thing that bothered her was that it just seems like i still treat her just like i did when we were 'just friends,' the quizno's thing made her feel sort of bad that i went out of my way to not pay rather than just cough up the extra $6 to which she would've offered to pay me back anyways. i can see where she's coming from. i guess i just wasn't looking at the bigger picture.

on a side note, maybe it doesn't help my case that she's got some 40-yr old multi-millionare dude trying to hollar at her

5/6/2006 10:24:19 PM

I always make my GF leave the tip. But i normallyalways pay.

5/6/2006 10:52:02 PM

nice. we swap up a lot and the other pays the tip or one will pay for drinks, one for food, etc.

money should NOT be an issue when dating after a couple months or so. this is a good way to find out if you should continue dating this girl, too

5/6/2006 10:56:35 PM

^ makes a good point

5/6/2006 11:22:32 PM

she should've paid at O'Charley's b/c she asked you...one of you should've paid for both at Quizno's

going dutch is tacky. take turns. whomever invites, pays, because until you've been together a really long time you don't know the details of one another's finances and priorities.

5/8/2006 9:01:52 PM

i only read the first couple lines in the first post

my advice is to dump her.

5/8/2006 9:07:18 PM

just hook her up with my ex boyfriend and she will be in love with you

...she'll realize that what you do is good...and there isn't a damn thing wrong with going dutch sometimes

[Edited on May 8, 2006 at 9:28 PM. Reason : ]

5/8/2006 9:26:57 PM

Does she go to Meredith? heh, j/k.

Quote :

"I guarantee 100% that she's been talking to some of her big mouth friends who don't know how to mind their own fucking business and are telling her how horrible you are. "

[Edited on May 8, 2006 at 9:54 PM. Reason : I agree^]

5/8/2006 9:53:55 PM

Quote :

"I guarantee 100% that she's been talking to some of her big mouth friends who don't know how to mind their own fucking business and are telling her how horrible you are."

haha, yeah that would be her roomate.

5/8/2006 10:00:25 PM

rudy wins

5/8/2006 10:07:17 PM

i think it's priceless when people are too poor to afford a $12 tab at quizno's

hint: IF YOURE TOO FUCKING POOR TO AFFORD LUNCH AT QUIZNO'S, THE ONLY PUSSY YOU'LL BE GETTING WILL BE HAD BY DATE RAPING SOROSTITUTES

[Edited on May 8, 2006 at 10:14 PM. Reason : ASDF]

5/8/2006 10:11:54 PM

Quote :

"I think you have the right idea about paying for dates, I mean paying shouldn't be expected but it's just a nice gesture."

i think she should feel appreciative of when you DO pay, and make a point to express that, rather than get upset when you DON'T.

Quote :

"i think its pretty cool that she's that honest with you"

that too. now you should honestly tell her how YOU feel. then, hopefully you can proceed with what i expect is an otherwise happy relationship.

5/8/2006 10:14:41 PM

Quote :

"i think it's priceless when people are too poor to afford a $12 tab at quizno's hint: IF YOURE TOO FUCKING POOR TO AFFORD LUNCH AT QUIZNO'S, THE ONLY PUSSY YOU'LL BE GETTING WILL BE HAD BY DATE RAPING SOROSTITUTES"

we eat lunch together almost every day of every week. do you think YOU could afford to pay for both yourself and someone else every day, while paying for other occasional dates in between as well? if not, than stfu faggot.

5/8/2006 10:25:44 PM

nvm

[Edited on May 8, 2006 at 10:29 PM. Reason : nvm]

5/8/2006 10:28:57 PM

Quote :

"From : UJustWait84 To : prep-e Received : Monday May 8, 2006 at 10:30 PM Subject : yeah... um actually i live in southern california and i drop like $150 on a typical dinner, or around $50 for lunch or brunch it's called getting a real job and spending real money if you want a real relationship i mean for christ sake's, quizno's? are you in high school? "

yeah cause money buys real relationships...

douche bag

5/8/2006 10:49:40 PM

im not gonna read the whole thread, you should be happy i read the first post, but she sounds like an ungrateful brat to me man

5/8/2006 10:58:57 PM

well the $12 you ARENT spending isn't making your girlfriend happy either

maybe i should take her to lunch (and pay for it)

5/8/2006 10:59:33 PM

^^

And because all women are impressed by those $50 lunches. Sometimes I just want a fucking bowl of chili from Mitch's for 5 bucks.

P.S. 12 bucks is a lot to pay for lunch if you work a typical shit job while in college.

5/8/2006 11:00:03 PM

^^i would love to see you try to buy my girl.

[Edited on May 8, 2006 at 11:17 PM. Reason : .]

5/8/2006 11:02:40 PM

SHES OBVIOUSLY PISSED ENOUGH TO MENTION IT THERE WISEGUY

5/8/2006 11:04:22 PM

My dick is bigger because i have more money, yadda yadda.

I mean, arguing about how you would buy someone's girlfriend and pay money to take her out seems kind of high school, IMHO.

Real relationships are based on love and commitment and trust and not on how much money you can drop on dinner.

Prep-E: Don't spoil her and explain how you feel. You obviously care enough to try for an outside opinion. Not all girls want a guy to pay for everything..

[Edited on May 8, 2006 at 11:07 PM. Reason : *]

5/8/2006 11:06:26 PM

exactly

5/8/2006 11:08:09 PM

Quote :

"Real relationships are based on love and commitment and trust and not on how much money you can drop on dinner."

AHAHAHAHAHA. in what world? please to come back to reality.

5/8/2006 11:09:51 PM

or how bout just kicking the ungrateful bitch to the curb and saving your hard earned dollars for someone that appreciates you?

no?

okay, well then just bitch about it on TWW instead

5/8/2006 11:10:28 PM

i usually pay for everything

thats how i roll, not because I feel it is necessary, but because I want to

I usually dont do casual dating,i dont have time for that shit, so if I'm out with someone, it is someone i've decided that I wouldnt mind being around more

[Edited on May 8, 2006 at 11:13 PM. Reason : ,]

5/8/2006 11:11:53 PM

Quote :

"AHAHAHAHAHA. in what world? please to come back to reality."

Abe, please enlighten me as to how many relationships you've had?

In my experience, relationships are based on love and trust and commitment. Maybe that's just because I'm not a stuck up bitch who really cares about money.

[Edited on May 8, 2006 at 11:13 PM. Reason : ......]

5/8/2006 11:11:57 PM

Liu is right

5/8/2006 11:13:08 PM

so basically

brotha's broke and he wants free pussy

let's see how long he can pull this off

methinks: not much longer

5/8/2006 11:13:37 PM

ah....ahaha.......ahahahahaha............

Oh Gargs. When will you have another dating advice thread? I need some help, obviously.

5/8/2006 11:14:11 PM

I am right on matters about love, pawprint.

All you need to do is listen to me without prejudices...I mean I dunno how I have influenced your life, but that hatred isn't working.

5/8/2006 11:15:41 PM

.

[Edited on May 8, 2006 at 11:17 PM. Reason : .]

5/8/2006 11:15:53 PM