if support from a message board is helping you out with a problem like this - you're fucked

11/9/2006 1:54:34 PM

Quote :

"I'm going to refrain from sex until marriage..."

i dont suggest this

11/9/2006 2:07:23 PM

if you hope for a possible reconciliation (even if it doesnt seem likely), dont do the rebound one night stand thing, itll cause more problems...

11/9/2006 2:24:52 PM

the only way to get over this is to take your life to another level. that's spritual, physical and better chicks.

11/9/2006 2:39:40 PM

and coke, b

11/9/2006 2:45:35 PM

no sex till marraige


hahahahah

11/9/2006 2:47:15 PM

easy to say, hard to do! man that sucks dude...buy her a car

11/9/2006 3:09:39 PM

keep it jungle, whatever you do.

11/9/2006 3:36:18 PM

yeah.

11/9/2006 5:39:30 PM

Quote :

"I'm going to refrain from sex until marriage..."

you gotta be there sexually for your woman too, mang

11/9/2006 5:42:56 PM

Quote :

"keep it jungle, whatever you do."

nice touch, babette.

11/9/2006 6:26:46 PM

indeed

11/9/2006 7:25:41 PM

Quote :

"Break-ups suck so much more for guys usually because they have to make a conscious decision to start dating again. Women are approached consistently and it makes it easier I think."

That doesn't apply to everyone.

11/9/2006 8:47:52 PM

wait.... you and lauren broke up? wtf? damn... sorry wade, hopefully things will work out

11/10/2006 12:12:27 AM

being single also means you don't have to go through the hardships of breaking up.

11/10/2006 12:18:38 AM

It will get easier with time. Don't contact her, that will make you start all over on the healing process. After 6 years, you probably don't remember what it was like to be single. In due time, you will find out it is AWESOME. Hang out with your friends, date around but not seriously, relish the feeling of having time alone.

[Edited on November 10, 2006 at 12:46 AM. Reason : be]

11/10/2006 12:46:27 AM

For most guys, there are three basic realizations that contribute to severe depression after a breakup.

Realization (1): A guy realizes he lost a good friend.
Realization (2): A guy realizes it will probably be a while before he finds another girl. Most guys maybe date one or two girls per year.
Realization (3): A guy realizes how much emotional validation he derived from a girl, and now that girl is gone.

*****

IMHO, (1) is totally healthy. If I have a fight with a close friend, then it will drag me down emotionally. (2) and (3) are unhealthy and explain why guys do really lame stuff after a break-up, like: crying, stalking on myspace, calling her repeatedly, and dreaming about her. In fact, these things are less the symptoms of an emotionally healthy guy going through a break-up and more the symptoms of a dork in general.

What should a guy do?

First, he should improve himself so he has plenty of options with girls. To be more blunt, if a guy gets dumped and immediately sleeps with a few other girls, he will basically forget about his ex—regardless of how long they were together. As crass as it may be, that’s just how a guy’s brain is hardwired. The quicker a guy finds other options, the quicker he’ll get over a break-up.

Second, he should improve himself so that his own goals and desires give his life meaning.

Ironically, there is a great deal of interplay between the two. The more options you have, the less emotional validation you’ll receive from being with a woman. You’ll seek out things that really matter—namely, your own pursuits and passions, and not someone else’s. A quality woman will simply be a nice perk in your life. Conversely, once you’re living own life by your own standards, girls will sense this and want to be with you.

View this breakup as a chance to become the man you want to be.


[Edited on November 10, 2006 at 1:04 AM. Reason : edit]

11/10/2006 1:00:30 AM

once you’re living own life by your own standards

^ I think this is why one of my roommates is a ____________.

11/10/2006 1:26:37 AM

even though you we have mutual hate for each other...

6 years, damn.

sorry dude.

i was with someone for 3 years and 5 months (my 2nd and her 1st), and we were soulmates (we both felt that way), but we had to separate because of external circumstances preventing us (other people).

and that was terrible. i ended up losing my job 5 months later because of something i did, which i wouldn't have done had we still been together.

anyway, take care, and i hope it somehow works out.

p.s. me losing my job led me to meeting my new girl, who is my fiancee.

11/10/2006 8:18:17 AM

depressed? don't know what to do? I have the solution

11/10/2006 8:55:52 AM

Quote :

"I'm going to refrain from sex until marriage..."

Unless you're a virgin and had proclaimed that before this breakup, I guaran-damn-tee that you will change your mind once you're over your ex and you and Mr. Hand are getting tired of each other.

11/10/2006 2:52:05 PM

DUDE. all good advice is bullsh!t. i've its in you to try and work this sh!t out do it. if it fails. than it was meant to be, B. just try to relax. anti-depressants do help too.

11/10/2006 3:25:53 PM

why did you use ! to mask the word shit?

11/10/2006 3:32:11 PM

fuck bitches.

11/10/2006 3:43:25 PM

lol

11/10/2006 3:44:43 PM

If you have some good buds that understand, have them take you to Sammys for 2 pitchers and listen to Dupree for a few songs, go to stool pigeons drinking some captain and cokes, then go to Bogarts (after 1:00am no cover) drinking whatever it takes to get you to dance...repeat every weekend, you will get over that shit in a hearbeat

11/10/2006 3:56:49 PM

hearbeat

11/10/2006 3:59:07 PM

Quote :

"If you have some good buds that understand, have them take you to Sammys for 2 pitchers and listen to Dupree for a few songs, go to stool pigeons drinking some captain and cokes, then go to Bogarts (after 1:00am no cover) drinking whatever it takes to get you to dance...repeat every weekend, you will get over that shit in a hearbeat"

throw in some marijuana too.


BTW: when I lived in Raleigh/Durham i didn't know there was THAT much to do in a night.

11/10/2006 4:00:37 PM

Breaking up is hard at first then your like ehh fuck it being single is so much more enjoyable

11/10/2006 4:04:04 PM

haha, did this just move from the lounge to chit chat?

11/10/2006 4:40:37 PM

If i had just lost my girl, going to Sammys,Stool pigeons, & bogarts would leave me even more depressed than i was before.

You got three choices. Either go get high and make yourself feel better, workout to improve your mood, or fuck another girl.

Alcohol is a depressant and will only make you feel worse. Sure when you come down off the high you might feel worse but at least you can snort coke all night instead of having the bar kick you out at 2 AM.

Working out will make you feel better about yourself and has the added bonus of improving your appearance which will be key now that you're about to go slut-hunting for the next few weeks/months in a fairly dry region. Raleigh isnt the desert of sluts but its definitely got a Southwest dry heat feel to it.


Fucking another girl will really take your mind off the old girl for awhile especially if shes got anything worth writing home about. If she doesnt have much to offer at least she can be a nice fuckbuddy until you get your foot in the door with some more acceptable ladies. Also the added bonus of not going out in public with a loaded gun everyday. If you arent getting any your pheremones are gonna be way off and when you talk to girls all they will hear is "I am lonely and pathetic and you should avoid getting naked with me at all costs"


You're probably going to glance right over this list because you're too busy listening to Coldplay on your ipod and thinking about her favorite breakfast cereal. But the faster you pick yourself up and start putting your life as your #1 priority, the faster you'll be able to land a girl that makes your ex jealous and your daddy proud.


If you really feel like you need more detailed advice that has PROVEN results try this thread. http://thewolfweb.com/message_topic.aspx?topic=415095&page=9

[Edited on November 10, 2006 at 6:28 PM. Reason : a]

11/10/2006 6:19:50 PM

^ this is good sh!t right here. worth all the therapy I went too. GG, RALLAAY.

11/10/2006 6:27:55 PM