Well, then, for that matter there are destructive cliques everywhere. That's my point. You can't selectively avoid them.

3/24/2007 12:18:46 PM

I went to Catholic school from 1-8 grade, and then public high school. My public high school seemed a lot less "cliquey" than the private school, although that could simply be a function of middle vs. high school.

There were a fair number of fuck-ups at the Catholic school, and I would say that on a whole, my graduating class there didn't turn out that great -- at least based on the people I've heard about in the last couple of years (teenage mothers, strippers, cokeheads, alcoholics). And from an academic standpoint, a fair number of them are in community college at best.

By contrast, high school was pretty good, I interacted with a much wider range of people. My school, though, was unusual in that it has a special "school-within-a-school" interdisciplinary program where you can take a bunch of AP classes. Because of that, I came into State with about 20 credit hours. Because that program was unique to our school, the county allowed us to have open enrollment -- kids came to the school specifically for academic reasons. To be cynical, it basically let the county get more white kids into our inner-city school without drawing funky districts. Most of the kids in this program were pretty well-rounded -- many of us were honor roll students who also played sports.

Also,

Quote :

"Resources are school-system dependent, not necessarily private-public."

I find it really hard to generalize public vs. private. It really depends on the specific schools you're looking at.

3/24/2007 12:34:26 PM

i went to a public school, but i also had a ton of friends who went to some of the area's private schools. they had just as many cliques as my school did. there wasn't any rivalry or dislike between the cliques at my school though. everyone got along with each other for the most part. i had good friends who were in jrotc, the goth kids, the preppy ones, the athletes, the skaters, the hippies, the blacks, the hispanics, the asians, geeks, etc. no one really gave a fuck. being that like 75% of us were military kids, i think we all grew up exposed to alot of diverse cultures. and alot of kids participated in a wide range of extracurricular activites, and i think that played a big part in everyone getting along.

[Edited on March 24, 2007 at 12:49 PM. Reason : ]

3/24/2007 12:47:01 PM

I'm gonna give my two cents:

It seems like you've basically made up your minds to send them to private school atleast through grade school, with the real question being should you continue to do so in high school. There are going to be cliques at any high school, what your don't want is for them to "get in the way" so-to-speak. Really, I think the only way to do that is to have a student body that is relatively homogeneous, so that the disparity between different groups is smaller.

In the end, it all comes down to your particular set of options. If your choices are Athens Drive or Cary Academy, you pick Cary Academy. But, if the choice is between Enloe and Cardinal Gibbons, maybe you should save your money. It should also depend (to an extent) on what your kid wants.

There's also a big difference between "elite" private schools and the everyday variety. If you can get your kid into somewhere like Deerfield, Choate Rosemary, or Georgetown Prep, and it's practical for them to go then I think it's crazy for them not to.

3/24/2007 12:48:51 PM

My HS was a very good HS in Charlotte and we had tons of AP classes, early work release credit not to mention local colleges that worked with the school to get us early college credits that also applied towards graduation. So it does very much depend on which HS you goto. We also had many different languages offered so you weren't just stuck with Spanish, French or Latin. My HS was also located in mainly white area of south Charlotte however they did bus the two rival neighborhoods from downtown Charlotte to our school as well. The school was still mainly white and we had a Marine for a Principal until he left for a school district job. We had very little problems such as fighting or such until he left but we still had WAY less than anyother public school in Charlotte. I am sure people familiar with Charlotte know now where I went to HS...LOL

3/24/2007 1:03:45 PM

i appreciate everyones comments. really, its all very helpful and interesting to hear various experiences.

Quote :

"Really, I think the only way to [minimize impact of cliques] is to have a student body that is relatively homogeneous, so that the disparity between different groups is smaller. "

oh, man, i disagree. my high school was VERY homogenous. and it was seriously dysfunctional and loaded with stereoytypical cliques.

i unfortunately fell in with the "cool to be stupid" druggie clique. and subsequently wound up wasting a good 10 years of my life. how much of that was my own fault? i dont know. all of it i guess. or none of it. who knows?

i just dont want my kid to do the same. but i know thats going to be totally dependent on us not beign freak parents that he rebells against, and that we give him skills to make his own judgements and think for himself.

i guess im just trying to figure out what impact cliques still play these days, even if I only get anecdotal stories from people here.

3/24/2007 1:05:14 PM

Quote :

"oh, man, i disagree. my high school was VERY homogenous. and it was seriously dysfunctional and loaded with stereoytypical cliques."

heh, obviously if you're at a school full of delinquents, the odds of you being a delinquent are a lot higher. what i had in mind was something like S&M where even though you have potheads, they're smart potheads and the prevailing mindset is still towards academic achievement.

3/24/2007 1:17:24 PM

My high school had really defined cliques, mostly due to the disparities in income and location.

We had about 1/3 of our students coming from the richest neighborhood in town, 1/3 from one of the poorest areas, and the other third from various middle-class areas.

I think really it's ALL about you as parents. If you are good parents and instill good values and morals into your kids, I feel like a GOOD public school is the best way to go. The POTENTIAL of public school is higher than private, but private schools offer the best baseline education.

So basically, just see how your kid grows up and make decisions for him/her as they need to be made. Keep an open mind. Maybe they'll end up wanting to do theatre, or be a mechanic, who knows. I think it's silly and pretty useless to try and make a decision like this now.

3/24/2007 1:27:14 PM

So which is better, private or public, being a blue devil or being part of the wolfpack?

3/24/2007 1:43:11 PM

i absolutely LOVE NC State, and i think its a great school. espeically engineering, A+ would definitely reccommend....

but if i had the 20K/year tuition, i'da seriously thought about going to duke.

since i didnt have the money, and wasnt cool enough for a scholarship, I'll fall back to default and say Fuck Duke.

no way i'da ever gone to Carolina tho.

3/24/2007 1:47:25 PM

Quote :

"As for the NCSSM I really don't dig this idea. One of my exes was a NCSSMer and to me it was just kinda creepy to send your 16 year old off to some school to live in a dorm especially in a not so good part of Durham. To me a 16 year old kid isn't mature enough to handle this. I do think that NCSSM is an awesome school but the only way I would do that is if I lived very close to the school which will never happen...LOL"

Well the idea is that your child is more intellectually advanced and can handle it. A lot of the kids, for example, mainly went there because they ran out of math courses to take at their own high schools. Plus, it's not a college atmosphere- you've still got a lot of rules that keep you on campus at a certain hour (you couldn't leave campus after 8, you had to be on your dorm hall at 10:30, in your room at midnight on week nights). I don't think I was completely immature when I went there, and I started when I was 15. By the time it was over, though, I was much more mature than when I had started there. There are people who can't handle it, and they go home within the first month. I got over homesickness and the awkwardness of meeting new people in about a wee k. It was so much more fun to be somewhere without my parents for once in my life, which was a good stepping stone into college. I think people have a tendency to spaz out and party too hard in college once they finally get away from their parents.

I'd also say that at least 90% of my teachers at NCSSM had their doctorates (including the humanities professors). I could also take fun chemistry electives (Organic, Polymer, etc) that I never could have been offered (even in IB or AP classes) at my old high school. They just had a wider selection of classes to fit the growing needs of its students. In fact, I seriously doubt I would've gone into English as well as ChemE if it hadn't been for a couple really interesting literature classes I took when I was there. I came into NCSU with 30 credit hours, too.

And again, with all those rules and campus security, Durham isn't that bad. The NCSSM campus is close to Duke's, too- there were a lot of fun things to do over there.

Just because you don't think you could handle it doesn't mean it's a "terrible idea" for everyone.

[Edited on March 24, 2007 at 3:00 PM. Reason : .]

3/24/2007 2:53:20 PM

Quote :

"I think really it's ALL about you as parents. If you are good parents and instill good values and morals into your kids, I feel like a GOOD public school is the best way to go."

that's pretty much what i was going to say. The combination of having an amazing single-mother and growing up in a good town (Blowing Rock/Boone) with very good public schools was all my brother and I needed to stay motivated in school and stay out of major trouble.

there are exceptions, but if you are a good parent, give your kids support, read to them when they're young, encourage good behavior, encourage learning, keep lots of books around in your house (i.e. don't make them read - just give them the opportunity to read as much as they want), support good grades (not necessarily reward or bribe good grades, but make it clear you're happy when you see good grades), then your kids hopefully will naturally fall into good crowds. You have to let them know that it's OK to not necessarily "be cool" all the time, to all people. If they find a good group of friends to hang out with who have college and career plans in the future, they should be fine.


and NCSSM is not really a fair comparison to anything. As has been mentioned several times, it's really a unique case, since it's very selective and basically like applying for college to get in. But a good public school can be as good or better, at least socially, emotionally, developmentally, etc than NCSSM. I was accepted to NCSSM in HS, along with my 2 best friends and 2 other people from my class, and we all chose to stay at Watauga. A year later, my brother and 5 other people from his class were also accepted, but again I think all of them, or at least 4 of them, chose to stay because everybody was happy with the environment at watauga.

[Edited on March 24, 2007 at 3:49 PM. Reason : .]

3/24/2007 3:45:19 PM

Quote :

"Those NCSSM fuckers are weird"

Looking at the general population of US, I gladly accept that label.

3/24/2007 4:00:49 PM

^ yeah.
"weird", maybe, but i'd like to see an analysis of NCSSM vs public vs private school students and see what happens to them after high school. College entrants, advanced degrees, and average salaries are surely significantly higher than other students. And they may seem weird to you from the outside, but most of them really enjoy being like that and enjoy each other's company, so surely there is nothing wrong with that.

3/24/2007 4:05:45 PM

Quote :

"hippy nature school"

haha theres one of those in Durham. Its called Carolina Friends. They are about a step away from wearing loin cloths, smoking weed in a circle, and singing kumbayah (sp?)

3/24/2007 4:49:13 PM

I went to public school until my junior year of HS, then transferred to a private school. Both had cliques. I mean, if you really want to get into, even now as a young professional, I am involved in cliques. Cliques are just circles of friends with whom you have a bond/ something in common. Who really cares once you are out of HS?

As far as academics, I found that the academics at my public school HS was much more rigorous than the private HS. My public school divided classes into basic, college prep, and honors. The public school I went to was small, so everyone took all the classes. The difficulty of classes was leveled so that everyone would understand. There were also no number grades or class rankings, so in general, we were less competitive about doing well in school.

Conclusion: I am glad I experienced both public and private school. If I had to do it over again, I would do it the same way. The next best way to do it is all public school. Between the social and academic aspect, I got everything I needed in public schools.

3/24/2007 5:18:11 PM

Quote :

"^ yeah. "weird", maybe, but i'd like to see an analysis of NCSSM vs public vs private school students and see what happens to them after high school. College entrants, advanced degrees, and average salaries are surely significantly higher than other students. And they may seem weird to you from the outside, but most of them really enjoy being like that and enjoy each other's company, so surely there is nothing wrong with that."

i'd be interested to see that as well. but you'd have to compare people who were performing similarly in their sophomore years. ncssm only accepts the smart kids, so it would make sense for them to do well after high school. the elite of other high schools probably did quite well too.

3/24/2007 5:51:09 PM

Quote :

"^ yeah. "weird", maybe, but i'd like to see an analysis of NCSSM vs public vs private school students and see what happens to them after high school. College entrants, advanced degrees, and average salaries are surely significantly higher than other students. And they may seem weird to you from the outside, but most of them really enjoy being like that and enjoy each other's company, so surely there is nothing wrong with that."

I was ranked #2 in my class at my old high school before I left, so I doubt it made much of a difference when I did apply to college. The awkward thing about NCSSM's policy of not ranking students was that many of us felt that colleges wouldn't see the school as such a scholastic achievement, and that perhaps it would've been better to be a stand-out kid at our old school. In any case, I got into 5 of the 8 colleges I applied to (but sadly couldn't afford my first choice even though I got in).

I do know quite a few people from my class ('03) who plan on going to grad school after graduating this Spring, though.

3/24/2007 7:01:59 PM

^^ yeah, good point. It wouldn't be fair to compare the NCSSM students with a general HS population.
I guess you could find people like me and at least 10 others that I know of from my high school who were accepted to NCSSM but declined to go, or you would have to go to other states and find students with similar grades and SAT scores (if you can find other states where students take the SAT in 10th grade....)
either way, weird or not, i'm sure they're doing just fine for themselves. One NCSSM student I knew from my HS (a year older than me) took the opportunity to gain so much extra college credit that he graduated from NCSU with 3 full degrees in completely separate topics (like CSC, French and Psychology or something) in 3 years and works at Google now.

[Edited on March 24, 2007 at 7:04 PM. Reason : .]

^ right, my friend at google was accepted to MIT but decided on NCSU most because of cost.

[Edited on March 24, 2007 at 7:06 PM. Reason : .]

3/24/2007 7:04:01 PM

depends on the size of the school

3/24/2007 7:43:08 PM

I went to private school from pre-K through 12th grade (at a school with about 45 in a class). To answer your original question about "it's cool to be stupid" ... at my school we only had an AP/honors and a college prep track. 100% of grads were accepted to college, so even those who were less academically inclined went to college. However, yes, there were kids who would slack off and had a poor attitude about academics (my sister was one of them in her class!)

The big things to consider would be to compare the schools you're interested in and the local public schools, like was said earlier. (I grew up in rural SC, and public schools weren't an option).

Start looking now and get on any lists possible. (The school I went to has a waiting list for pre-K programs, and as soon as a child is born, some families are getting on admissions list. It's MUCH harder to get into as a child gets older - it's based on testing scores, an applications, interviews, etc. And they accepted no transfers in senior year - even though that's far off for your kids! But every school is different.)

We had cliques, but a lot of these were based on social status and parents' occupations -- basically parents who were of a certain profession socialized together, put their kids in 2-year-old day school together, dance classes together, etc. The kids knew each other from early on and went to school together with a social circle set up and it was VERY hard for new kids to come into the mix. (With 45 kids, about 20 girls, if 5 or 6 are close, they become the ringleaders. Guys had it easier because if a guy was good at sports and attractive, he could come in, get with a ringleader girl, and he would be popular. With so few people, if anyone new came in, the opposite sex was interested. But a new pretty girl would be snubbed and rejected by the other girls, while a new attractive guy would be embraced by the guys -- especially if he was from public school and knew people to get drugs/alcohol from.)

3/24/2007 9:24:28 PM

I went to Enloe as well. I loved everything about it to tell you the truth. The diversity helped me deal with all types of people...I feel like private schools are more like "its cool to have my parents pay for my way into college w/o earning it".

[Edited on March 24, 2007 at 9:26 PM. Reason : www]

3/24/2007 9:24:41 PM

How your kid turns out is more up to you than the school.

In my opinion 1/2 my school was borderline retarded %20 were into real drugs
and %30 were smart and going somewhere in life (public school)

i know those happen to add up to 100% but there are retarded druggies and as well as smart ones etc.

Now my friend's private school didn't have nearly as many kids that are complete idiots as my public school did but... i'd say %60 or more of those kids were into drugs.

and then there are private schools like Charlotte Catholic.... which basically is doing the best it can to be like the fucked up school in "cruel intentions"

3/24/2007 10:03:49 PM

Quote :

"Just because you don't think you could handle it doesn't mean it's a "terrible idea" for everyone."

I never said I couldn't handle it. I have always been mature for my age and could have done well at NCSSM but when my HS offered everything that NCSSM had it doesn't seem like that great of a choice. And I agree that some kids are mature enough to go...my ex being one of them but as a whole I think kids of that age are too immature to do something like that. Hell even most college kids are too young to do that just like you stated with the excessive amount of partying that some do. This again goes back to parents I think though...if you don't let your kid do anything then of course they are gonna go buck wild when away from home. Hell one of my suitemates didn't even know what peaches tasted like or Dr. Pepper or a fuckload of other things because her father was so overprotective he wouldn't let her try new things. She went ape shit and tried all those things and more and also became kinda a SLUT. And I agree that Durham isn't that bad but I wouldn't want my 15 year old there alone. My ex said that people rarely followed the curfews and I have been to Duke's campus and that of NCSSM. He also showed me the neighborhood right next to it that you were never supposed to walk through because you would be mugged or worse and the same went for the park that is not too far from the campus. I also think it is awesome that all their profs had Docs but so did almost all my HS teachers. I wish this would become the norm but alas when our teachers are paid absolutely nothing who would want to add more debt. I really wish that society would change that and pay our teachers a decent salary but that is a whole different thread!

3/24/2007 10:16:51 PM

Quote :

"So basically, just see how your kid grows up and make decisions for him/her as they need to be made. Keep an open mind. Maybe they'll end up wanting to do theatre, or be a mechanic, who knows. I think it's silly and pretty useless to try and make a decision like this now."

3/24/2007 10:24:38 PM

And your wife sounds like a total nerd, by the way.

3/24/2007 10:28:32 PM

^you know you could have just hit the "edit post" button!

3/24/2007 10:56:50 PM

went to private catholic school in charlotte

Every school has their own kinds of cliques. More so the public school system, but a little less in private schools. As far as which clique your child joins, its all up to you as parents. Need to discipline and teach your child the principles you want them to have for the rest of their lives. I knew a ton of kids with wealthy parents who did drugs and did sub par in academics, but I also knew a ton of kids with wealthy parents who did drugs and had stellar grades. And that goes the same for kids who didnt do drugs.

Public or Private, it depends on the parent as to how the kid will grow up to be.

Although I do favor private because of better academics and a lesser clique'ish system.

3/24/2007 11:05:55 PM

If you have the money....private school is the way to go.

I was in public school K-12....but I will be an anomaly at my high school reunion....Nobody went to college.

3/25/2007 2:05:24 AM

Quote :

"I also think it is awesome that all their profs had Docs but so did almost all my HS teachers"

hahaha, wow

I never had a Phd teach me before college.
I had some good teachers cause I took the harder courses mind you, but to the best of my knowledge we never had a doctor at any school I went to, at least while I was there.

Some information about my HS, TW Andrews in High Point NC

Percentage of Students at or Above Grade Level Average
English I Algebra I Algebra II Geometry Biology Chemistry Physical Science Physics Civics&Economics US History

66.3 15.6 29.6 18.6 26.9 29.4 27.5 N/A --- ---

http://www.ncreportcards.org/src/

The only thing about 30% is english lol

Also, some headlines about various things that I've been able to locate with minimal effort, theres much much much much much more.

Quote :

"Robert Lee Clemons Jr., 42, of 5006 Groometown Road in Greensboro, has pleaded not guilty to four felony drug charges, including trafficking more than 400 grams of cocaine. Clemons was a popular teacher and coach at Andrews High School in High Point, "

Quote :

"A third suspect turned herself into police in connection with the Nov. 22 carjacking of an Andrews High School student. Shareka Danielle Ballard, 16, was arrest by High Point police Thursday afternoon. Ballard, of 3708 Westfield St. in High Point, faces felony charges of robbery with a dangerous weapon, attempted kidnapping and conspiracy. Ballard, an Andrews High School student, was being held on $10,000 bond Friday at the Guilford County Jail in High Point."

Quote :

"Videotapes of the Southwest-Andrews high schools' basketball game show two Andrews players throwing a basketball into the stands Wednesday night, setting off a brawl that involved more than 100 spectators."

Quote :

"A third consecutive day of fighting at Andrews High School brought more police to the campus Friday, scaring parents and triggering harsher penalties on future combatants. Two girls were arrested Friday morning after fighting over a boy, bringing the total number of arrests since Wednesday to 11, with more expected. A teacher, an assistant principal and a police officer were assaulted in the week's fights. One student hurt her shoulder. But perhaps the greatest injury was to the..."

3/25/2007 2:13:45 AM

send your kid to private school if you want them to be drug addicts.

rich, bored suburban kids = drug users. trust me, it happens. private school kids are just better liars.

3/25/2007 3:13:53 AM

Yeah private school kids are smart but not any smarter than the top group of public school kids who could have went to private school.

But, some of the dirtiest girls i've ever met went to private school.
and every guy i know that went to private school has at least tried coke.

3/25/2007 8:45:28 AM

go to magnet schools- wiley, martin and enloe are all great public schools.

3/25/2007 9:47:51 AM

That's a good idea, too.

Over where I teach we have Reid Ross and Massey Hill Classical. Basically legal segregation, but given the condition of the traditional schools in the area, I'd send my kids there. Screw principles.

Here's Massey Hill:
http://www.greatschools.net/cgi-bin/nc/other/29

Here's the nearest traditional school:
http://www.greatschools.net/cgi-bin/nc/other/67


Take a look at the demographics, then tell me you wouldn't laugh when the Superintendent can't seem to figure out what's wrong with that school.

3/25/2007 11:21:21 AM

i went to both public and private schools. public in elementary, private middle and first year of high school, then back to public.

private schools may have better teachers, but no cliques? no way. private school was just as cliquey as public school, but you get to add dollar signs to the cliques.

but being in public school gave me more options academically that the private school didn't offer with it being so small. plus, my high school (public) had a distance education learning center where many classes were taught from NCSSM and other magnet schools in NC. private school didn't offer that.

[Edited on March 25, 2007 at 11:31 AM. Reason : ]

3/25/2007 11:25:53 AM

Quote :

"my HS offered everything that NCSSM had it doesn't seem like that great of a choice."

I seriously doubt that. I don't know of any other high schools in NC that taught polymer chemistry. I also don't know of any that had a course in immunology. Or a course solely devoted to the plays of Edward Albee. Or a course on fractals and chaos theory.

The list goes on:
http://ncssm.edu/academics/docs/coursecatalog.pdf

Quote :

"And I agree that Durham isn't that bad but I wouldn't want my 15 year old there alone. My ex said that people rarely followed the curfews and I have been to Duke's campus and that of NCSSM. He also showed me the neighborhood right next to it that you were never supposed to walk through because you would be mugged or worse and the same went for the park that is not too far from the campus."

And my point is that you're really not alone at all, and it's not a "woot! party!" atmosphere. Most of the time, you're too busy doing work to go off campus. Sure, there were people who disobeyed curfew, and they got caught. Honestly, you're giving no credit to teenagers at all- we knew where not to go. And we didn't go there. If people went off campus past curfew, it was usually to eat on 9th street, which was brightly lit and had a bunch of Duke students milling around. Not to cut through Walltown to the park after dark.

And really, you didn't go there, so I have no idea how you could make a complete evaluation.

3/25/2007 12:57:31 PM

i dunno. i knew kids who went to ncssm and ones who could have gone and didn't for various reasons. they've all turned out pretty well.

3/25/2007 1:31:54 PM

^^ agreed

i would have loved to go there and was smart enough to make it in... but...
neither my parents or i knew anything about it.

[Edited on March 25, 2007 at 1:34 PM. Reason : .]

3/25/2007 1:33:49 PM

Quote :

"i dunno. i knew kids who went to ncssm and ones who could have gone and didn't for various reasons. they've all turned out pretty well."

I completely agree- the people that were in the same program at my old high school are doing very well.

But she's making it into a "well it would've been no different for me since my school had everything oh yeah and it's sooooo dangerous" argument. Scores of NCSSMers have gone to school there without ever getting mugged or raped, and I don't think she knows exactly how extensive the course catalog really is, either. I'm not trying to make NCSSM into the best place for everyone to go, but she's shitting on my experience for no reason.

3/25/2007 1:54:51 PM

hahah

I was just looking up the top-100 high schools in the nation; Enloe is #52.

OMG GHETTO

3/25/2007 2:37:22 PM

I'm an Enloe alum (almost 15 years ago). Because everyone (in the honors program) was a good student, I looked very average by comparison to my classmates. However, the teachers were outstanding, and I really enjoyed it. After surviving (even with a lot of B's and C's) in a rigorous program there, college was easy by comparison.

In terms of development of a young person, I think that middle school is the most critical in terms of influence. Private school may well be worth the money at that level, but the diversity of people, classes, and activities at a public high school make it a good choice, provided that it's a decent public school.

3/25/2007 3:05:28 PM

Quote :

"And really, you didn't go there, so I have no idea how you could make a complete evaluation."

I never made a complete evaluation. I am going off of what friends have told me about their experiences. And I am also not shitting on anyones experience. You are the one who attacked me first. I just said that there is no way I would ever send my child there and listed a couple of my reasons. No one in my HS went to NCSSM because there was absolutely no reason to do so when you could get everything you wanted from our HS. Our HS didn't have a few of the courses that you listed but that is why they had partnerships with the colleges in the area and you could take them there for free or a very small fee ($10) depending on the school. And I also didn't say that every kid that went to NCSSM got mugged or anything else but my ex told my about plenty that did and about sneaking out and not getting caught and it wasn't to go eat on 9th street. I also never said it was a party atmosphere I just don't think that MOST kids that age are equipped to deal with a situation like this which my ex told me about plenty of NCSSMers that shouldn't have been there when he was there because of the way they behaved. I would think that MOST kids that are smart enough to get into NCSSM would act like they have some sense and not go into the bad areas or walk around by yourself. But some people have lots of book smarts and not a lick of common sense. To summarize never at anytime did I shit on your experience I would just never send my child to a school like that. And I have never said that no one should go there or that it is a crappy experience. As I said before NCSSM is a great school I just don't think that MOST (not all) kids are not equipped to deal with this at that age...again some 18 year old college kids aren't even equipped for this freedom!!!

3/25/2007 8:47:12 PM

Quote :

"I just said that there is no way I would ever send my child there and listed a couple of my reasons. No one in my HS went to NCSSM because there was absolutely no reason to do so when you could get everything you wanted from our HS. "

On one hand, you talk about how unfortunate it is that some parents are so overprotective, and on the other, you say that you would never send your kids to a school like S&M. You have to remember that the kids at S&M aren't just "sent there." They go there because, for whatever reason, that's what they want and as a parent that's always something you should take into account. I think that simple fact that they want to leave home is a good indicator that they're emotionally ready to do so, and if they're not, that will come to light pretty quickly. But, that aside, the classes that you take at a school are only half of it, the real education comes from from the entire experience. Taken in that light, S&M is as far removed from any day school as Wake Tech is from NC State

3/26/2007 2:36:11 AM

Quote :

"You have to remember that the kids at S&M aren't just "sent there.""

Exactly. In fact, during the application process, they allow you multiple chances to confidentially tell them if it's your desire or your parents' desire that you attend NCSSM.

3/26/2007 6:11:48 AM

Quote :

"But, some of the dirtiest girls i've ever met went to private school. and every guy i know that went to private school has at least tried coke."

ahahahahhahahahahhaha

you must live under a rock

Quote :

"I think really it's ALL about you as parents. If you are good parents and instill good values and morals into your kids,"

clip it a bit more

[Edited on March 26, 2007 at 8:16 AM. Reason : s]

3/26/2007 8:09:36 AM

Ok we must have different opinions of what "overprotective" is because not letting your child try a peach is alot different than from not allowing my 15-16 year old kid goto a school that is miles away from home at such a young age! Just because I child wants to leave home isn't necessarily a good indicator...kids runaway from home all the time! And I realize that there is an application process to all of this all I have said is that I don't agree with this and wouldn't do it with my kids. I know you aren't just sent there then it would be more like a jail and not a learning institution. I also agree that the experience itself not just the classes is what makes NCSSM different. This thread isn't really about NCSSM to begin with. It is about the cliques found in public and private schools and having gone to both I shared my experiences and since his wife had used NCSSM in her debate I just stated MY OPINION on NCSSM in the fact that I wouldn't send my children there. I didn't crap on anyone's experience or anything else because there are kids that can thrive in this situation and I didn't say any different. My ex was one of them and went on to get a ChemE degree from NCSU with a minor in Computer Sci. He isn't using his ChemE degree at all but he is using his Comp. Sci. minor. I never said the NCSSM wasn't right for everyone or anyone I just said that I don't think I could ever do it with my kids.

3/26/2007 10:41:55 AM

Quote :

"Ok we must have different opinions of what "overprotective" is"

I have two siblings, my sister went to a public high school, my brother went to a four-year boarding school, and I went to S&M, each of our own choice. So, yes, this seems very overprotective to me. I'm just trying to keep people open-minded about how they approach their childrens' education.

[Edited on March 26, 2007 at 11:24 AM. Reason : as much as i'd really like to harp on this some more, i'm done]

3/26/2007 11:10:18 AM

I will do everything to further my child's education I just think there are other solutions than NCSSM. To me not letting you child try new things and deprive them of key life experiences is overprotective. Not letting them goto some school miles away from home when you can find what they want elsewhere is not.

3/26/2007 11:17:52 AM

it sounds like OP never went to school and just got his view of schools through too many 80's movies

3/26/2007 1:42:53 PM

Quote :

"To me not letting you child try new things and deprive them of key life experiences is overprotective."

Oh, okay cool. So if your kid wanted to go to NCSSM (a new place where he/she could have more key life experience living away from his/her parents), you'd be okay with it.

Quote :

"Not letting them goto some school miles away from home when you can find what they want elsewhere is not"

You're being so completely contradictory.

[Edited on March 26, 2007 at 3:59 PM. Reason : So confusing.]

3/26/2007 3:58:31 PM