o ya thats smart. then guess what he's going to do as soon as he gets a secured pussy?


now you've screwed up some girls life as well. good job hero.

8/20/2007 11:17:08 PM

Quote :

"o ya thats smart. then guess what he's going to do as soon as he gets a secured pussy? now you've screwed up some girls life as well. good job hero."

stop posting.

8/20/2007 11:19:16 PM

the fact you dont even understand how fucking whipped a kid like this gets, only reinforces my knowledge of how stupid you are.

8/20/2007 11:42:39 PM

Thanks for the good advice so far. All I have done so far is block the cartoons and brought up when he was being rude. It seems to be working and he hasn't watched television all day like he normally does. He went outside for a ten minutes which was more than he has done since he has been here. I haven't done anything about the food yet. All of the drinks we bought are almost gone, so there's only juice left. He wont drink that. We don't really have any junk food, but his grandmother bought him a bunch of ice cream and pizza the other day so he's still stashed up on that. He refuses to eat meals with us but will chow down on ice cream all day long.

Quote :

"does he have a father figure?"

No, and I'm pretty sure that's one of the problems. He never sees his dad and I really don't even know if he's ever met him. As I mentioned before, his mom was a crackhead when he was younger and she lost custody of him. He was in foster care until about a year or two ago when his mom got him back. Since then, they don't have any rules for him and he does whatever the hell he feels like since his mom feels all guilty about the crackhead stuff. I know it has to be hard on him adjusting and all, but I really don't feel like it's a good time to throw every rule out the window.

8/21/2007 12:00:27 AM

sounds like he needs to be loved and wanted. does he go to school or has it not started?

8/21/2007 12:04:28 AM

^^ Sweet, one step at a time and he might keep himself reasonably balanced and normal.

8/21/2007 12:27:56 AM

Wake his ass up at 6:30am (or whenever you get up) by pouring an entire pitcher of ice water on him. I'm serious.

8/21/2007 12:45:14 AM

Enlist him.

8/21/2007 2:02:48 AM

I've been working with 13 year olds for the last 5 years and I gotta tell you...they're almost all whiny, rude, self-centered, and annoying.

However, I agree with some of this advice...mostly the vaccuming at 10am, or just being loud to wake him up. Personally, I'd just turn on all the lights in the living room, turn on my 6am news, and act surprised when he wakes up whining.

Tell him if he drinks your stuff or eats your food, he will have to pay for it.

Take his PSP hostage. If he watches anime all day and sounds this retarded, I doubt he has any upper body strength...you could take him.

8/21/2007 8:25:00 AM

Quote :

"I don't want to seem like I am butting my nose where it doesn't belong b-log but I have considered talking to his mom."

8/21/2007 9:47:36 AM

Quote :

"He was in foster care until about a year or two ago when his mom got him back."

Oh jesus.

On the bright side, though, this is as close to a fresh start as she'll ever get with him, although if it's been a year or two, she's mostly squandered that chance to re-establish herself as an authority figure.


If she feels guilty about the crackhead stuff, ask her whether she wants to deal with these relatively minor problems now, or face the possibility that he'll end up as bad off as she was?

Clearly, she doesn't realize it's a greater disservice to one's kids to let them run completely amok than it is to discipline them.

8/21/2007 9:55:06 AM

Try finding out what his favorite food is and make it for dinner one night. That might make him more likely to eat with you. Then just talk to him and ask how his day was or anything cool happened.

8/21/2007 9:56:13 AM

When I would go to the beach with my parents, I had to sleep on the couch so I would do the same thing as this kid - watch TV for late hours and then pass out. My dad and mom were pretty cool about it where they'd wake up at 7, wake me up, and let me go sleep in their bed. I realize you wouldn't really be solving anything but you'd show him you were "cool" and maybe he'd listen to more shit you'd have to say.

8/21/2007 12:40:54 PM

He doesn't have a favorite food except ice cream and junk food, so we probably couldn't find a meal he would eat. He has a bedroom he can sleep in, but just doesn't do so. His grandma caters to his every need which makes it hard for me to set any rules out. For example, I wont clean his shit up when he leaves candy papers, dirty bowls and glasses, and other crap all over the table, but as soon as she comes in, she cleans up everything.

8/21/2007 5:19:18 PM

is he a fattie?

8/21/2007 5:22:59 PM

actually, no he's pretty damn skinny but he sorta does have developing love handles I would guess because of his diet.

8/21/2007 5:59:46 PM

make him feel bad about his grandma cleaning up after him

8/21/2007 6:02:45 PM

So all hell just broke loose a little while ago. My aunt and I were talking in the living room and Bryan insisted on watching television. He not only had to watch it, but had it at full blast. His grandma warned him like 20 times to turn it down and he wouldn't. So, she took the remotes and unplugged the tv. Bryan, being the ass that he is, went and plugged it back in and started watching tv again. I unplugged it and told him to stop. His grandma explained to him that she hears loud noise at her job all day long and didn't feel like yelling over the television after she got home He then proceeded to tell his grandma that she needed to find another job. I kinda lost my temper and called him stupid and he told me to shut up and retreated under the table in the living room where he sat and pouted for 15 minutes or so. He finally got up and went in his room where he's been since.

8/21/2007 8:23:52 PM

Quote :

"retreated under the table in the living room where he sat and pouted for 15 minutes "

This is all hell breaking loose???? I was expecting violence or property damage. Kids sounds like a huge pussy.


Anyway, does he not have friends or anything? Sounds like he's just pissed off about having to spend time at his boring ass grandmother's house.

[Edited on August 21, 2007 at 8:40 PM. Reason : sdf]

8/21/2007 8:38:22 PM

I'm glad my dad kicked my ass when I was being a little shit. I told him it's his fault that I can't ever be a lawyer because I can't tell a lie with a straight face. When I was a kid I would not be able to swallow, now I can't stop laughing. It's weird.

Anyway, SOMEONE needs to put this kid in his place.

8/21/2007 8:40:43 PM

the best thing to do is to be passive-aggressive and to engage him in power struggles.

8/21/2007 9:28:34 PM

Quote :

"Kids sounds like a huge pussy. "

He is.

8/21/2007 9:53:56 PM

So what? He's your great-nephew? Do you see him coming back to save you from some situation 30 years down the line? Or giving you awesome gifts? Probably not.

Rip the shit a new asshole, who the fuck cares what he thinks of you. You're the adult here.

8/22/2007 12:05:35 AM

I'm telling you -- pitcher of icewater.

8/22/2007 12:15:25 AM

Gozo, step up and be a man
sounds like the kid has your family scared of him

if some little faggot talked shit to my grandma like that...family or not / i would smack him in the face for talking back

it didnt take but one good smack from my dad for me to know that talking shit to him wasnt a good idea, ever

8/22/2007 9:24:05 AM

This sounds like a job for Dr. Phil!

8/22/2007 9:36:14 AM

This sorta sounds like a situation my family is in. My godparents had a daughter who had some emotional problems. Instead of dealing with them, they let her do whatever and she eventually moved into(and was kicked out of) various homeless shelters and birthed a son, who they now raise.

They are doing the EXACT same thing with him. At age 4 when he used to wake up and eat ice cream from the freezer every morning and then left it out to melt, instead of NOT buying ice cream (or better yet, awaking with his ass to ensure he didnt get into trouble) they just bought him Hoodsie Cups so he didn't make a mess. Now he's 7, has no friends, is addicted to video games, and is on adderall for his "ADD". Makes me wanna scream, but my entire family has tried to reason with my godparents but they honestly don't see that they're doing anything wrong. They constantly wonder how me and my brothers grew up to be such "great people".

8/22/2007 10:58:12 AM

glad to see your parents were smart enough to make them your godparents.

thank god they lived till you were 18

8/22/2007 1:27:47 PM

Quote :

"I unplugged it and told him to stop. His grandma explained to him that she hears loud noise at her job all day long and didn't feel like yelling over the television after she got home"

I think you're on the right track with giving him some stern guidance. Does the kid have friends? I'd think he should really have better things to do than hang around the house being a nuisance. Maybe it would help if you include him in a lot of activities that you do if he doesn't really have friends to do this stuff with. It might be a pain to have him around, but it gives you a chance to be a role model that he needs.

Keep in mind that this isn't going to get fixed overnight. He probably hasn't been around anyone in the long term who was responsible and respectful.

[Edited on August 22, 2007 at 1:38 PM. Reason : l]

8/22/2007 1:37:13 PM

cesar milan ftw!

8/22/2007 2:12:23 PM

He's gone. I don't know when he'll be back, though. I didn't outright call him stupid. My aunt and I were talking about the effects of drug abuse on the brain and he said, "Drugs won't hurt my brain" or something stupid like that. She taught him that your brain develops until your 25 so he could still do damage. Being the smartass I am, I told him, "See, there's still hope for you yet." He replied, "I don't get it." "I rest my case." "You need to shutup." Then he proceeded to pout under the table then to his room. I apologized a little while later but told him he doesn't apply himself and shouldn't be respectful to his grandmother.

Ok, a few months ago his mom did ask me to be a father figure for him. I stopped that really soon when I realized she wasn't going to discipline him herself. Yeah, I could be his friend or whatever, but part of being a FF is disciplining. Disciplining doesn't work if his main caretaker undermines me.

It's my theory that most people in society like, even crave, rules. Everytime I asked him to do something he complied. At first he procrastinated but he got better. Kids like rules and structure and schedule. I focused less on disciplining (see the above paragraph) and giving him tasks instead.

[Edited on August 22, 2007 at 2:20 PM. Reason : instead.]

8/22/2007 2:20:25 PM

I think you are on the right path with that. Kids want to please the adults in their lives, but when they don't get any sort of reinforcement for positive behaviors and corrections for negative ones, they cease to try and get that reinforcement. It's also about being consistent. Children need to be able to count on thing sbeing consistent, especially at an age when so many things are changing. They are between baby and young adult at that stage, and it is sometimes difficult to manage that.

As the person in charge (which you are whenever you are in the room), it is important to prove to the child that they are not going to win a confrontation. At first it will be very difficult, and a big part is making sure that the child can see that you are responding to behaviors and those behaviors have consequences. If they feel your decision is arbitrary because you hate them, there is no connection to cause and effect.

If you establish yourself as someone who is not going to allow certain things to happen in your presence, he will stop doing them around you. Once you have made it clear that you are the authority figure and he realizes that he cannot win by berating you, arguing with you, or being annoying and badgering you about an issue, he will stop trying. The only reason he is still oppositional-defiant is because he succeeds. If those techniques didn't get him what he wanted, he would stop and change his behavior.

8/22/2007 4:48:14 PM

Quote :

"take away power cords/batteries put on parental lock on the TV vacuum the living room at 10am take away the PSP (or hide it since you don't really have the authority to take it) change the passwords on the computers"

yep

Quote :

"wake up folks. people can't be changed and are going to do whatever they want to do regardless of what you say or do to them. It has nothing to do with parenting. Just a legend/adult fairy tale. Great parents can have the worst kids and vice versa."

ahahah that's some funny shit, here I thought this was still one of those ages when you can actually change someone. damn that human developmental sciences teacher for lying to us all! damn those text books and thousands of neurological experts!!!!

Quote :

"Dude, I have the key to straighten this kid out. Explain to him about pussy. How great sex is, how much fun it is to get laid, and how every thing he does currently is going to cockblock him for like."

yep

8/24/2007 8:31:43 AM

consistency > severity

8/24/2007 10:11:12 AM

Quote :

"damn that human developmental sciences teacher for lying to us all! damn those text books and thousands of neurological experts!!!! "

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

8/24/2007 7:25:28 PM