jesus god ... our wedding was planned for 175 guests for less than 4k total... expensive != better all the time

9/6/2007 3:24:49 PM

Quote :

"expensive != better all the time "

is anyone saying that it is?

9/6/2007 3:36:25 PM

^^ What kind of wedding and reception was it?

9/6/2007 6:32:03 PM

Thanks to hammster for starting this thread... I had always imagined a wedding with lots of friends and family... people coming out of the woodwork so to speak, but after reading this thread I'm fully open to the idea of eloping if/when the time ever comes. Even if I had a great job, I still wouldn't want to drop 10k on a wedding... and that's a seemingly modest one at that. I have too many toys & would far rather invest in a home than a bunch of flowers that are simply going to wilt. ugh- reality. Best wishes to everyone tying the knot in the near future. I hope everything goes smoothly. (also, someone post some pictures of their hand made stuff... I'd love to see a comparison that isn't done by someone on one of those TV shows )

9/6/2007 11:24:01 PM

9/7/2007 12:06:11 PM

^Thats awesome! I wish I had the guts to do that!!

9/7/2007 3:04:12 PM

Quote :

"How do you plan to get two people to Europe for less than $500?"

We don't. We spent the money we were going to spend on the wedding on our vacation. Actually, we only had to use a fraction of that money.

9/8/2007 6:40:30 AM

I wish I could have done one on the cheap but the wife's parents were paying, in Miami it ended up costing 65k in the end (for about 200) people.

9/8/2007 4:02:57 PM

slightly off topic, but does anyone know anything about using the Park Alumni Center for a wedding reception? I can't find anything on the website.

9/8/2007 8:25:51 PM

I literally just rode by there on my motorcycle and noticed that both the outside & inside would be a perfect place. It was dark, but the outside courtyards seem to have been done very nicely (the two times I have been I've never noticed the outside before ) Probably have to contact the alumni association for more info.

9/8/2007 8:57:30 PM

how are you people paying for all this?

i know my parents dont have tens of thousands to drop on a wedding for me

and i'm sure as hell not going to finance some food people ate a year ago

if someone else wanted to pay for it all, sure i plan a nice pretty wedding but otherwise i just cant justify it

how many of you financed your wedding?

9/9/2007 12:41:04 AM

^we saved for 1/2 and my husband's family matched what we saved, so we paid for nothing with credit (except our dream honeymoon)

9/9/2007 1:05:16 AM

Quote :

"how many of you financed your wedding?"

hopefully no one.

if you can't afford it, you can't afford it.

9/9/2007 12:43:32 PM

Quote :

"slightly off topic, but does anyone know anything about using the Park Alumni Center for a wedding reception? I can't find anything on the website."

call them - you can have one there though

Quote :

"how many of you financed your wedding?"

i think xcchick is the only one to admit to financing her wedding - it's one of the stupidest financial comments on this site - and there are a lot of them

9/9/2007 1:00:05 PM

PAy as you go picking up stuff when you can.

9/9/2007 3:41:03 PM

can't people just have a potluck wedding reception? I think that'd be cool... bride and groom could just provide dessert

9/9/2007 9:10:22 PM

I swear to god. I am going through this now. We have a budget in mind. The average wedding is for 185 people at 28k for everything.

We are paying for everything. However we already have like 1300 in engagement money. We are looking at 125 people with a budget of 10k +/-. We are getting married in Wilmington.

Every time someone hears wedding they get dollar signs in their eyes.

We met with venues and what we see is 4 price categories-

cheap: church (free), parks and frat. organizations (moose, elks, American legion, shrine clubs, etc.)- 700-1000 comes with chairs and tables

moderate: golf clubhouses, houses (900-1300), mid price hotels- with or without chairs and tables

Nice: Ballrooms, art galleries, museums- 1500-2500 Most of the time comes with chairs and tables

Holy crap did you just say that price on the phone: Hilton, Resorts, Etc- 3000+ -tables, chairs, china comes with 5000-9000 food min.



This week we are going to caterers. We are having huge discussions currently about the alcohol. I wanted to pay for like 2 glasses of wine/champagne with dinner and his family is not accepting of this.

Things to note: Soda is a bar tab. or about 2/drink. OMG Most insane thing about this.

Average kind of buffet meal prices we are looking at are:

Food: 18-35 pp (some can go as much as 95 pp)
drink: 12pp water, soda, tea, coffee (like 3-4 dollars hour) (full with cocktails are like 14 pp hour)
Bartender: 25 hr

Mandatory 20% grat.

we were gifted wine for our wedding so we will have to pay for the corking fees. We are also toasting with a champagne cocktail-cheaper.

It is funny to hear people on here talk about not going to wedding with alcohol. We just can't justify spending 14 pp/hour for a full bar and 25 hour for a bartender (1 for every 75 guests) and 20 mandatory grat and tax. + toast. it would almost be our whole wedding budget.

9/9/2007 9:11:18 PM

open bar is ideal

but cash bar is better than no bar

9/10/2007 12:25:25 AM

Actually no bar is better than cash bar. If anything first hour open, after that cash bar.

^^Where you gettin married? We are using the Kenan chapel and halyburton park for the reception.

[Edited on September 10, 2007 at 1:33 PM. Reason : ]

9/10/2007 1:31:35 PM

Quote :

"Actually no bar is better than cash bar."

no way.

9/10/2007 1:34:25 PM

Etiquette wise it is. Its a slap in the face if its cash bar.

9/10/2007 1:38:45 PM

if it's a slap in the face, then you're just an alcoholic in denial. not every social event needs to be celebrated by drinking a bunch of free drinks.

9/10/2007 1:46:51 PM

I am just quoting modern etiqette, not my personal views.

9/10/2007 1:48:52 PM

The Park is too small, but I really like it.......I am getting married at St. Mary's and tentative reception at corporate canvas.

I am so excited. I didn't know i was going to be one of those giggly girls.

[Edited on September 10, 2007 at 2:34 PM. Reason : ^^^^^]

9/10/2007 2:32:17 PM

You cant beat the price tho.

How much is corporate canvas and how many people it hold?

[Edited on September 10, 2007 at 5:07 PM. Reason : kthx]

9/10/2007 5:00:08 PM

^^the real question is: will you have an open bar?

and dude, corporate canvas is awesome. Hopefully they'll have a cool exhibit when you guys have your shindig

9/10/2007 5:03:08 PM

^lol.....give me 6000 and we will. Depends on the caterer this weekend and some stuff. Will at least have wine.

9/10/2007 7:02:21 PM

I got married July 29, 2006..... we went as cheap as possible, but we had exactly what we wanted. We had around 155 guests come.

First, my dress, veil, undergarments - 1300
My husbands' tux - 70 (the tux was free (coupon) just had to pay for the accessory package with the other groomsmen renting thier tuxs from the same place)
wedding bands - 1300
wedding day coordinator (mandated by the church) - 200
church rental - 500 (but tax deductible)
reception space rental - 75 (it was a small private vineyard)
food - 1000 (that included gratuity) - it was a bbq, we went a little less formal so it was cheaper
DJ - 200 (parttime guy that worked on the sheriff's dept)
photographer - 3000
linens - free (borrowed them from the hotel i used to work)
cake - 100 (included set up fee - a local woman who bakes for a restaurant)
set up of reception site - free, my brother
jordan almond favors, bubbles, and greek wedding cookies - grandmother made it all as a gift
invitations - 500
programs - 40, i made them myself and were gorgeous!!!!!!!
florist - 800, 4 huge arrangements, flowers for 5 groomsmen, three sets of grandparents, three sets of parents (my mom, stepdad, dad, stepdad, his mom and dad) and my bouquet and table decorations....but she also helped set up the reception hall and allowed us to borrow a few items like lighted trees to help us save$$$ and also made me a silk arrangement for my bridal photos so that we didn't have to buy flowers for that one setting
preacher - 100
pianist - 350 (our first pianist was going to be 100, but had an emergency at the last moment)
attendant gifts - 5 silver necklaces with sapphire cross and matching earrings (5x10=50 on super sale) and pocket knives for the groomsmen (60)

just make sure that you think of everything and make all the arrangements yourself and you will save money. I know we could have definately done things alittle more cheaper, but we spent money where it was needed and got exactly what we wanted.

9/10/2007 7:56:32 PM

I feel old all these people are younger than me and getting married and I'm not anywhere close to even thinking about meeting somebody to possibly marry.. lol ah well

9/10/2007 7:59:44 PM

^I'm here with you. I'm happy where I am in life... there is absolutely no rush to the alter for us-- hell we just finally moved in together.

9/10/2007 8:13:31 PM

haha I'm still single.. ah well, it'll happen when/if it happens

9/10/2007 8:16:33 PM

Quote :

"slightly off topic, but does anyone know anything about using the Park Alumni Center for a wedding reception? I can't find anything on the website."

All events are run through The State Club http://www.thestateclub.org call Wendy Dorman at 515-0553. I know as of the last newsletter they said they are getting full very quickly. I can attest that the food is excellent and they have setups for both indoor and outdoor events. They also have an overflow area that is covered by a tent setup. I'm not 100% sure but I think you have to be sponsored by a member to have an event there.

9/11/2007 9:34:36 AM

Seriously, weddings and bridal showers can easily be dreadful and dull. People need to realize that your wedding is just another event and most of your guests are not as eager for it as the couple.

I think it is perfectly fine to have only a toast/wine with dinner, if that is all you can budget.

If you are dead set against having drinks, I suggest getting married in the afternoon. The reception is really about your guests and most would prefer a drink with their meal.

I think it is tacky to suggest that your guests and others have drinking problems or want to get sloshed because they prefer to have a drink than tea. If you can't afford it fine, but don't use poor excuses for it.

Cash bars are considered rude. Remember that you cared enough to invite your guests in the first place, they purchased gifts and arranged to attend your wedding. Why are people on here posting such horrible things about their guests on this board?

[Edited on September 11, 2007 at 12:39 PM. Reason : k]

9/11/2007 12:34:13 PM

Quote :

"People need to realize that your wedding is just another event and most of your guests are not as eager for it as the couple. "

of course no one is as eager for it as the couple (well maybe the parents are).

but if you think its just another event, then thats what its going to be...just another event.

i still have friends/family asking me to get married again because they had such a good time.

[Edited on September 11, 2007 at 12:44 PM. Reason : d]

9/11/2007 12:37:45 PM

Quote :

"i still have friends/family asking me to get married again because they had such a good time."

[quote]

yup.... yup.... yup...

9/11/2007 1:28:14 PM

Sober, of course people had fun at your wedding, it seems that your family had a lot of style that benefited your guests. Your RD sounded so awesome and I am sure the reception was along the same lines.

Most weddings are cookie cutter. Your nuptials would have been a relief.

[Edited on September 11, 2007 at 3:10 PM. Reason : k]

9/11/2007 3:07:22 PM

Hindu weddings (particularly with folks from North India) include ceremonies that can last a week leading up to the day of. Generally the girls side pays for most of it. The more affluent the family, the more outrageous the whole affair is. Sometimes, horses and elephants are involved -- don't ask.

My cousin's parents payed $150K for the whole ordeal. there were about 700 people at the main wedding ceremony, and 500 at the reception.

I don't know what the guys' costs are. All I know is i'll be taking a loan against my 401K or Roth IRA, depending on which stocks do well.

9/11/2007 3:22:18 PM

If you're going the traditional route... wouldn't that cost be the responsibility of someone else besides you?

9/11/2007 3:45:39 PM

Quote :

"i'll be taking a loan against my 401K or Roth IRA"

9/11/2007 3:57:06 PM

I'd be down with getting about 10 coolers of booze + Bill Ellis to cater BBQ and fried chicken for myself and 100 of my best friends. Now I just have to find a woman who is down with this and I'll be set.

9/11/2007 4:49:33 PM

^ LOL, the problem isn't finding a woman who's OK with it, the problem is finding a future M-I-L who's OK with it.

9/11/2007 6:49:54 PM

If any MIL_s have a problem with it they better open their checkbook and stretch their writing hand.

9/11/2007 8:37:00 PM

^^^^^ yeah, her parents and mine, but mine aren't ballers and i'll need to step in to have a proper throwdown

9/11/2007 10:37:31 PM

fuck that

9/11/2007 10:40:00 PM

We're aiming for 10k or under and about 150 people. However, we got really lucky b/c the ceremony is on the beach, the preacher is my parent's best friend, and the reception is at the beach club we've been members at for decades. Only $250 and $25 per person for the reception, decorations, and food. We have a bagpiper that was around 200 or something I think, DJ is $500. Photographer is another good family friend, so not sure what we're paying her.

Hard part is going to be finding a ring bearer tux for a 6 month old!

In reference to the techno dance above, instead of the normal father daughter sappy dance my dad and I are swing dancing.

And Wilmington peeps: we're getting married on Wrightsville Beach, rehearsal at the Oceanic and reception at Hanover Seaside Club.


And in response to the bar topic, we're not having one. It's a morning wedding, so we're just serving mimosas.

[Edited on September 12, 2007 at 9:43 PM. Reason : merf]

9/12/2007 9:33:09 PM

This thread makes me want to never get married

9/13/2007 7:07:01 AM

it's a gigantic hassle. The ceremony is all about the couple. The reception is all about your guests, which is what most Americans tend to forget or not even consider.

I always had more fun at my friends' weddings than at my own. But what made it worth it is that two years later, people still tell me how much fun they had at our wedding.

9/13/2007 7:15:18 AM

We've competely changed what we want to do! We are having the ceremony at my old church for about 200 bucks, then having the reception at a place called "Thataways" in Burlington. It has a dance floor, they include a DJ, it has pool tables and TVs and couches and stuff, so I thought that would be fun for the people who didn't want to dance after eating. We are getting Barbeque catered and I think it will be more fun than a sit down fancy dinner.

9/13/2007 10:00:05 AM

My fiance and I are paying for:
Our rings and bands (almost paid off and we're not getting married for over a year)
The wedding ceremony fee (which includes a wedding planner and coordinator, all chairs for the ceremony, wedding night accommodation at the B&B, and some other stuff)
The honeymoon
Invitations and annoucements
and possibly the photographer

My parents are paying for:
My dress and dress stuff (done)
The reception (except alcohol)
Flowers
Cake
and possibly the photographer

His parents are paying for:
The entertainment
All alcohol

Don't have to pay for a preacher, my fiance's dad is ordained. We're not doing programs.

I think it should work out pretty well. No way in hell any of us are financing this. It's called SAVING.

9/13/2007 10:54:09 AM

SAVING? That's crazytalk. Get out of here.

9/13/2007 11:03:18 AM