Quote :

"If you're in engineering don't even try to read the books. Just use em for the problems and homework. Any other reading you do will be a large waste of time. Just pay attention in class and take notes, then take notes of your notes."

this is good advice.. many times i would go through and take notes of my notes as a way of studying for tests...

9/13/2007 1:03:28 PM

Props to Sleik for keeping so much of this stuff. Keep em coming. I'll post a compendium if the thread gets long enough to need it.

9/13/2007 1:26:02 PM

Quote :

"go ahead and dump your HS gf now."

Amen man, staying with my HS gf during my first two years of college was one of the biggest regrets I had about my time at NCSU.

9/13/2007 1:56:52 PM

or you could just stay with the HS chick and still sleep around.

9/13/2007 1:57:30 PM

me and my HS girl kept getting back together when I went back to Charlotte. We split up like 20 times technically. You don't have to necessarily DUMP the girl, just let her know she definitely isn't going to be the only one!

^ Pretty much was he said

[Edited on September 13, 2007 at 1:59 PM. Reason : . ]

9/13/2007 1:58:55 PM

Turn in something for every assignment - It doesn't have to be great, or even good - even if you've blown it off and only have an hour to work on it. Turn something in. Zero's are what kill you. It's easier to make up for a 50 point project then it is to make up for zero points - that way if you do well the next time you've brought the average up to a "C". If you turn nothing in and two straight 100% marks, your average is STILL a 66.

The same is true for tests. Don't leave any question blank - even if you just draw a picture, or write in a formula. If you leave it blank you get zero points. I've ran out of time before and just written in the formulas, with no calculations. You would be amazed at the partial credit you get for doing that, whereas if you leave it blank you don't have a prayer of getting anything.

9/13/2007 2:04:15 PM

oh and regarding relationships...

- leave behind the HS baggage, or otherwise establish some type of non-exclusivity
- if you came to college single (and not in the manner above), DO NOT. DON'T. UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. be seen in any public place on campus, hugged up real cuddly-like with someone you just met two weeks ago. That's just as bad as the first situation, if not worse because then you're seen with this person and it kinda blows your chances of dating around. If you're not trying to date around, pretend you never read this.

9/13/2007 2:07:07 PM

fuck evvvveerrrrrryyyyyything you can get your hands on. [no homo]

9/13/2007 2:07:24 PM

Quote :

"I've ran out of time before and just written in the formulas, with no calculations. You would be amazed at the partial credit you get for doing that, whereas if you leave it blank you don't have a prayer of getting anything."

this has worked countless times on my engineering tests.

9/13/2007 2:15:30 PM

public speaking is part of college and adulthood. just embrace it. Hell I still get nerves speaking but once the first sentance is out its smooth sailing. and remember, the people sitting there listening don't want to be there any more than you do.

9/13/2007 2:18:39 PM

my tips:
1. Don't be caught with alcohol ON CAMPUS you will have to deal with alot of bull shit that will linger for awhile.
2. Be very careful what you put out on facebook / myspace / thewolfweb for the world to see. Information about you can easily be seen by people who you don't want seeing it.
3. Don't let pictures be taken of you in legally questionable situations.
4. DO NOT park near your dorm if you don't have a parking pass, each ticket ranges $40 - $50. If you HAVE to park on campus, park in the parking decks especially the back of the deck off dan allen and reynolds parking deck.
5. Restrict the privacy on your unity account so people won't be able to see your address and other personal contact information by just searching your name on the NCSU directory.
6. You can park at the North Carolina State Employees Credit Union on Hillsborough across from Nelson Hall for free with no risk of being towed after 5:30.
7. All of the convenient stores on hillsborough st. require a minimum of a $3 purchase if you are using a debit/credit card. Very annoying I know.
8. The wolfline bus is a very easy way of getting around campus. Just avoid sitting near anyone who appears to be of foreign descent because their personal hygiene habits are typically VERY POOR. Also this site shows you where any Wolfline bus is at any given time. Its a very useful tool http://ncsu.transloc-inc.com/
9. If anyone begs you for money on Hillsborough immediately ask them if they have money as well. If we all work together and adopt this policy maybe they will go away?

i will add more to this as i think of more things

9/13/2007 2:29:48 PM

Quote :

"Don't be caught with alcohol ON CAMPUS you will have to deal with alot of bull shit that will linger for awhile. "

maybe its changed since i was there, but if you're underage, getting caught on campus was much better then getting caught off. you didn't have to deal with the real police on campus.

9/13/2007 2:34:33 PM

Quote :

"6. You can park at the North Carolina State Employees Credit Union on Hillsborough across from Nelson Hall for free with no risk of being towed after 5:30."

or just park in 80% of the parking spots on campus that stop enforcing after 5

9/13/2007 2:37:42 PM

If you can avoid it, don't come back to campus after drinking off campus. Not only safer and less chance of someone throwing up in your car, but cops patrol near the dorms. Coming back to campus drunk is about the same as drinking on campus.

If you drink in the dorms, keep your doors closed and alcohol out of sight so that patrolling RA's won't come in and won't see your drinks.

9/13/2007 2:42:44 PM

don't catch the flu and pneumonia and develop a 103° temperature during dead week and finals week of your first semester, it sorta sets a bad tone for the rest of your college career

9/13/2007 2:43:29 PM

Quote :

"The wolfline bus is a very easy way of getting around campus. Just avoid sitting near anyone who appears to be of foreign descent because their personal hygiene habits are typically VERY POOR"

So funny and so TRUE. espicially the Avent Ferry and Centinnial Campus busses

9/13/2007 2:48:15 PM

http://vestigial.twosixty.com/dorm.htm

Quote :

"Dorm Life by Prowler What do college dorms and roach motels have in common? The food. Whoever said that college was, "The best days of your life" must have lived off campus. It's no mystery that living in the dorms is the easiest way to test a person's sanity. The rooms are small, the food is lousy and you might end up living with people you would normally avoid. The really ironic part about the dorms is that most people intended on just sleeping in their dorm room, but you can't even do that! I think there is some missing passage in the Bible right after "Thou shall not steal" that said, "Thou shall not sleep no earlier then 3 in the morning when staying in the dorms". And the living quarters are so cramped. My dorm room is so small, on a cold day, a good fart would frost the windows. If you went to an out of state school, then you probably did like I did and packed crap you never used thinking it would get some use when you started college. Now you have even LESS space in your dorm room and you are reminded of this every time you open your closet and see all the clothes you will never wear, taking up valuable real estate. My freshman year of college, I could barely close my closet door because of all the shirts, pants, caps and sneakers that I had in there. Of all the crap that was bulging out of my closet, I wore none of it and bought new clothes. If you learn nothing from college, (which a lot of people don't) just know that when you bury something in the back of your closet it should stay there, it is not to be transferred to your much smaller dorm closet. Getting back to the sleep situation. Like I said in my Top 10 you better get this while you can. When you move into the dorms, you have unwittingly given your soul to a Starbucks coffee consuming vampire cult. And as a member of this brotherhood, your bed will become an extension of your desk. Where you will put extra homework, books, dirty clothes, alcohol, a TV and if your lucky, sheets and a pillow. Another member perk, you are only entitled to three hours of sleep, most of which will take place at your desk, in the library and most commonly, in class. Still don't believe me? As I write this article, the time is 4:39am! Why am I not in bed? Here's the scary part; I don't know! It might have something to do with the guys down the hall playing Everquest and yelling back and fourth to each other, "Use the scroll of protection before the goblin archer rolls 7 on the dice". Or it could be the bastard below me playing "Back that azz up". Don't get me wrong, I like the song, just not at the ass-crack of dawn. Staying up this late will also screw up your eating habits like it did mine. Since I sleep through breakfast, the first thing I usually eat is either a burger or a slice a pizza. But seeing as how the bacon and eggs are just as greasy as the burgers and pizza, it really doesn't matter too much. The cafeteria closes at 11, so I'm stuck living off vending machine fritos and pez for the next 6 hours until I finally go to sleep. Speaking of vending machines, sometimes you would opt to starve instead of hiking to the machine. In order to go to the vending machine, you have to equip yourself accordingly. That consists of wallet, keys, ID card, jacket, snowshoes, campus map and umbrella. Then you get to the vending machine and just as you expected, all that's left are the four day old peanut butter crackers. For those of you that haven't figured it out yet, it's not chunky peanut butter in those crackers, it's worms. But if you can pick the worms out, it's still a pretty good meal at 2 in the morning. Now it's morning... or if you wake up around the same time I do, it's late afternoon. And you realized you're late for class. Now you have to hurry and get ready but no matter how fast you are you WILL be late. But let's backtrack. Let's say by some miracle you do wake up in the morning. You go to take your shower and no matter how hard you try to avoid him, you will ALWAYS run into the guy walking down the hall in his whitey tighties, he waits for you. Showering in the dorms is also quite interesting, especially for guys. Not only do you have to wear sandals to avoid the fungus monsters, but you can't touch the shower walls because you know the guy who showered before you for an hour WASN'T CLEANING HIMSELF! Trust me if the shower tiles were black instead of off-white, there would be evidence of it everywhere. The water has three temperatures; absolute zero, hot, and boiling. And of course if anyone in the Seattle area flushes the toilet, you can expect third degree burns and moments of unconsciousness. Sometimes you have to dodge the walls AND the water. Dorms are one of the few places where it's possible to leave the shower dirtier then when you entered. As I was saying earlier, no matter how hard you try, you WILL be late. One of the contributing factors to this are the dorm elevators. I swear to God, whenever I'm in a rush, not only is one of the elevators broken, but the working elevator has to stop on every floor. Including the second, where some fat cow thinks it's okay to get on and go down one floor because she has laundry. Roll your fat ass down the stairs lady! If you still have time to kill when you get on the elevator, rest assured the elevator will break down in between two floors. Usually with someone who hasn't showered or someone who has a plate of cafeteria food. Either way, the elevator stinks and makes waiting even more unbearable. This is usually a funny situation when you're on the OUTSIDE of the elevator, but it sucks ass when your on the inside. And since the maintenance crew is being paid the big bucks (huge sarcasm there if you didn't pick up on it), you will make it out of the elevator just in time to go back to bed and repeat this process the next day. There is some other unwritten law that states whenever I'm on the elevator some bastard has to get on with a bike, luggage, a huge bag of laundry or anything else that will either hit me or be dropped on my foot. If I'm lucky (which is usually the case) it's some lady and her 5 year old brat. And of course since I'm on the 11th floor and they're getting off on 4, the little ankle biter pushes ALL the buttons between 4 and 11. And the lady smiles at me as if I think it's cute that I have to stop on six more floors before I can get to my room. Yet if I were to drop that little fucker out of my 11 story window, I would be the bad guy. And the mother has the nerve to tell me "Have a nice day" like she hasn't poured enough salt on the wound. Back to dorm food. Did I mentioned it sucked? If I didn't, I am now. Is it me or should their be a law against serving so much chicken?! For lunch there is chicken casserole and grilled chicken sandwiches. For dinner, there is backed chicken backs, chicken tacos and chicken chow mien. And served late night right before they close, chicken strips and chicken burgers. Christ there aren't enough chickens in the world to supply one school with this much poultry. If the food isn't bad enough, the people serving it make it worse. These days students work in the cafeteria. It scares the hell out of me every time I order something and the girl has a grin on her face while she's putting it on a plate. It's either because she knows what's in the food and I'm an idiot to pay money for it or because there is a larger amount of LSD in the food then usual... did I say LSD, I meant MSG, how could I have made that mistake. No wait I did mean LSD. Despite all of this, the most important element that determines whether you live or die in the dorms, is your roommate. I live in a cluster, also known as a suite, which I feel is just a complete misuse of the word. In a cluster, you have 7 other roommates instead of one. Which means the chances of your dorm experience being really shitty, skyrocket. There two types of roommates, the one that is never there and the one that is always there. Contrary to what you might think, having a roommate that is never around is a bad thing. Since he usually returns; drunk, pissed, bleeding, being chased by a large group of people or all of the above. I can't count how many times I've come home late and found some guy I never met, passed out in my bed. Then I find out it's one of my roommate's friends. So I don't feel as bad when I put tapioca pudding in his ears, nose and mouth. The roommate that is always there is about as bad. Since he never leaves, you're his contact to the outside world and he will never ever shut up asking you dumb shit. Don't be surprised to catch him replying to email sent to you or reading letters from your long distance girlfriend. Interesting days are when you come home and find the door locked from the inside. Then you over hear a mad scramble inside and your roommate opens the door like nothing was going on. Which you know is bull since there is no female in the room and the trash can full of wads of tissue. Naturally you'll spend the rest of the night sterilizing your half of the room. Well there is a bright light shinning in my face, which either means the sun is up or it's Judgment Day. Either way I'm going to sleep through it. Just remember, all that packing space being used up by clothes you'll never wear, replace it with food you're going to need. Don't drink water from the tap, don't touch anything and wrap all your stuff in plastic."

9/13/2007 3:24:26 PM

http://vestigial.twosixty.com/dorm2.htm

Quote :

"Dorm Life The Sequel by Prowler YOU GOTTA FIGHT... FOR YOUR RIGHT... TO PAAAAARRRRRTY! You may like the Beastie Boys, but that's because this song didn't wake you up every morning around 4 AM. It's been almost a year since I moved out of the dorms and for some strange reason, I actually miss the chaos. Granted the food is better, I don't have to worry about coming home to a keyboard covered in my roommate's spooge and my shampoo lasts a lot longer; I still miss the dorms. I read over my original rant on Dorm Life and realized how much I left out, which is the reason for this one. First things first, make sure your dorm room doesn't have bunk beds. Regardless of whether or not you're on the top or bottom, nothing good can ever come from sleeping in bunk beds. I know this because I've experienced both. Keep in mind this was a cluster, 8 guys, 4 rooms, 1 lounge and a private bathroom. Of those four rooms, only one room had the bunkbed setup, lucky me. Whether you sleep on the top or the bottom, you're always going to hit your head when you wake up. This is especially true when the motherfucker down the hall is playing the Beastie Boys at 4AM and you jump up looking for your knife to cut his speaker cords. Looking back, I think I prefer the top bunk over the bottom, all things considered. I remember many nights coming home drunk off my ass, trying to climb up the ladder and stepping on my roommate's head in the process. The only downside to this is having a big ass roommate with no sense of humor. Then you have to sleep on the floor after a night of hardcore drinking. And what's the worse that can happen sleeping on the top bunk? You fall off, big deal. Happened to me a few times and nothing's wrong with me. The trick is to put something on the floor before you go to bed that will break your fall. I've found that a pile of laundry works best and seeing as how I only did laundry every other month, I had plenty of cushion. If you're one of those people who insist of doing laundry before the fabric starts to fray, try using a few pair of sneakers or some of your roommates clean clothes. Once again if he's a big ass guy with no sense of humor, I would advise against this. Worse case scenario, your roommate moves your landing cushion while you're asleep and replaces it with his alarm clock, so it's closer to the bed. It's not your fault he overslept and missed his final because you landed on it. Sleeping on the bottom is a disaster waiting to happen. First of all, during the day, your bed is the couch regardless of whether or not you're in it. It's also rather difficult to have sex on the bottom bunk unless your goal is to give the girl a severe concussion. On the positive side, she might develop amnesia, in which case you could kick her out when you're done and not worry about any backlash later, but that's rare. Speaking of having sex in bunk beds, it REALLY sucks on the top bunk... if you're the person trying to sleep on the bottom bunk. One night my roommate asked me if it was alright if he had a friend spend the night in our room. Translation: "I'm going to be screwing some chick, so you're sexiled to the couch tonight." But at the time I was really pissed about something so I didn't answer, I just went to bed. Translation: "Fuck you, I'm going to bed, you and your hoochie screw out in the lounge on the couch." I'm pretty sure you already know where this is going. I don't remember what time it happened, but I woke up to what I thought was an earthquake. It took me all of two seconds to realize what was really going on, he was screwing this chick while I was in the room! Translation: "No fuck YOU, me and my hoochie are going to screw in here and there aint a damn thing you can do about it." Naturally I couldn't go back to sleep and my pride wouldn't let me get up and leave the room and acknowledge the fact that he won. So I'm stuck in the room while they screw, good thing it only lasted a few minutes. How did I get him back? For the next month I opened the windows before going to bed (Keep in mind this is Seattle) and over the course of the night, gradually pulled at his blanket and sheets until they were on the floor. This is something any guy who has ever stayed in the dorms can relate to, loud music. I don't think women have this problem, it seems to be a guy thing. No matter what kind of system you had, as long as it loud, you had a chance to claim dominance over that area of the dorm. I can only assume this is what was going through that asshole's mind whenever he came home and started playing the Beastie Boys as loud as possible. To make matters worse, the stupid fucker would sit up and play video games at 4AM WITH THE DOOR OPEN! Which means I had to hear the Beastie Boys AND John fucking Madden. During this time I only had my laptop so I couldn't compete with his speakers but that changed after the first quarter. My roommate finally brought his stereo from home and it was time for retaliation, revenge and get back. 4 AM, DJ Clue The Professional Part I, Track 1, Ruff Ryders Anthem Remix and we did exactly what the song said; SHUT EM DOWN OPEN UP SHOP! After that I didn't hear a fucking peep out of him until he took his Beastie Boys CD and moved out to join a dry frat. Don't even get started on that. Nevermind, I WILL get started on it. A dry (Non alcoholic) frat?! It makes no sense! That's like me in a good mood. No one would believe it until they witnessed it first hand. The first time I heard someone mention a Dry Frat, I thought it was a frat house recovering from flood damage. Let's examine your typical frat house and it's purpose; To get drunk and get laid. Now in order for these things to take place two elements are required; Beer and women. A dry frat has neither. Instead of having keg parties, a dry frat will have a root beer kegger. You couldn't get a fourth grade girl to go to a root beer kegger, let alone a college girl. So what are you left with? A bunch of guys sitting around, drinking soda and sleeping in one big room... that's not a fraternity, it's a gay porno. But let's get back to the subject of loud music. By the second year, EVERY room in my cluster had a decent stereo system. Instead of one dominate stereo, there was four equally loud stereos. All playing at once in what can best be described as, Musical Diarrhea. We didn't share the same taste in music and it showed. In one room there was; Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting, Blink 182 in another room, Highway To the Danger Zone in another and DMX in mine. It wasn't pretty at all. Eventually the constant visits from the RAs helped us realize that none us even deserved to own stereos and we decided to start playing our music at a respectable level. Can someone explain to me the obsession with white boards? Webbastard's Note: Notce the lack of transition between material? Try and keep up. I never bothered to get one because I thought it was the stupidest thing imaginable. I have a pager, cell phone, voice mail and email, why walk all the way to my room just to leave me a message saying you came by? For the people who own whiteboards, consider youself lucky if you get one or two actual messages before someone steals all your pens. The rest of the time, all you get are things like; "You suck", "Your mother sucks", "Your dog sucks", "You suck your mother while she sucks your sucky dog sucker" (All with illustrations). The girls across the hall took pictures out of an Abercrombie catalog and taped them to our outside door, only they forgot to tell us. Webbastard's Note: Once again, no transition. So all my friends were curious as to why there was a topless white guy with "Jahmal 4 EVA" written on his chest and a big heart around it. I guess that's a lot more creative than using a sharpee to draw a picture of a woman blowing a dog on someone's whiteboard. But come on, the woman was blowing the dog and the dog was smiling, it's funny on so many levels. How did we top their little decoration prank you ask? We stole their shower curtain, simple yet effective. I may have caught hell from my friends because the pictures of Dry Frat boys were taped to my door but at least I could take a hot shower. Speaking of the bathroom, why did I end up with the roommates who insisted on conserving energy at my expense? Living in the dorms, you didn't get an electric bill, but yet they were always turning out lights. I get in the shower and the lights are on, I expect them to be on when I get out. Instead I get in, someone else comes in, uses the toilet and flicks that switch on the way out. Either the water is REALLY loud or my pleas of "Turn the light back on, motherfucker" always seem to fall on deaf ears. That is of course until I step my naked ass out of the shower to do it myself. First year was the worse. I had an 8:30 class so I had to get up while it was still dark outside to take my shower and get ready for class. An unspoken rule in the dorms is that in order to claim your spot in line for the shower, you leave your towel there, simple right? For some reason one of my roommates never understood this concept. He also didn't understand the concept of putting on clothes while waiting for the shower. I get up, head towards the bathroom and I'm stopped by this fat guy sitting in the dark wearing nothing but his whitey tighties telling me he's next in line for the shower. If that wasn't bad enough, it seemed as if his skin was absorbing all the light in the room because he had this creepy radioactive like glow. It was NOT the first thing I wanted to see when I got up in the morning or at any other time during the day."

9/13/2007 3:29:29 PM

^ That guy sounds pathetic.

9/13/2007 3:31:48 PM

^^ awesome

Quote :

"me and my HS girl kept getting back together when I went back to Charlotte. We split up like 20 times technically. You don't have to necessarily DUMP the girl, just let her know she definitely isn't going to be the only one! "

No shit. I got added on facebook by some freshman girl I met the weekend after classes started who was in a relationship w/ her h.s b/f. I swear like every 5-6 days she switches from "single" to "in a relationship."

Make up your fucking mind!!! preferably to break up b.c i'm trying to bwn sweetheart

[Edited on September 13, 2007 at 3:40 PM. Reason : l]

9/13/2007 3:33:14 PM

http://vestigial.twosixty.com/dorm3.htm

Quote :

"I've covered most of the basics about dorm life except for the most important one. The one which will determine whether or not you have a shitty dorm experience; your residential advisor. RAs can be classified in three basic categories: The Drill Sergeant - This RA is on a serious power trip. They thrive on bullying residents because they know if they weren't RAs, they would get the shit kicked out of them for being such pricks. The Drill Sergeant RA will write you up just because they can. They don't let anything slide and are even disliked by their fellow RAs due to their anal retentive methods of doing the job. The Dorm Mother - Despite the name, this type of RA can be male or female. The Dorm Mothers become RAs because they have entirely too much free time and too much energy... which is a rarity in college. Dorm Mothers get their names because they treat their residents like children. They're always around making sure everything is okay, they're always scheduling programs for their residents to attend and they possess a level of cheerfulness which could only be attained by pharmaceutical stimulus. The Politician - Hands down, the best of the three. The Politician doesn't try to bully their residents like the Drill Sergeant and they don't care how their residents are doing. If you don't bother the Politician, the Politician won't bother you. Most of the time, the Politician is only an RA for whatever benefits RAs are offered at that school. Along with being the best of the three, the Politician is also the smartest of the three. The Politician will use the Drill Sergeant to police his or her residents then goes behind the Drill Sergeant's back and sides with the residents. The Politician also has the Dorm Mother schedule all the programs, design the posters, do all the advertising and promotion then takes full credit for everything. Basically the Politician does nothing and comes across as the model RA in the eyes of his or her superiors. This is the kind of RA I was for the two months I was an RA, before getting throwing a huge party, getting durnk and forced to resign. How can you tell what kind of RA you have? Simple. If your RA shows up at your door the day you are moving in to introduce themselves and it seems like they won't ever go away, it's a Dorm Mother. If your RA shows up at your door the first night in the dorms to inform you that your music is too loud, you have a Drill Sergeant. If you're at a party off campus two months into the school term and someone you've never met walks up and introduces themselves as your RA, it's the Politician. The Politician is the easiest to deal with. You have to be a stupidass to get on the Politician's bad side. The easiest way to do this is to put the Politician in a position where they actually have to do work. If you simply have to cause trouble, do it on another RAs floor. That way it's that RA's problem and all the Politician has to do is say, "I'll look into it." My residents didn't seem to comprehend this, even after I flat out told them. During an RA meeting, we were told that a considerable amount of furniture was stolen from a community lounge. Our assumption was that people came from off campus and took it but we were told to keep a lookout for it regardless. After the meeting was over, I pretty much forgot about the missing furniture until a week later when my superiors informed me that all the missing furniture was found in five different rooms on my floor. Now I had to write up all these fucking people because they got caught. You can imagine how pissed I was. I was just as pissed when the custodian woke me up at 9am to inform him that the residents had stopped up the sinks and urinated in them. What the fuck could I do about it at 9 in the morning that I couldn't do when I normally woke up at 1 in the afternoon? Was I supposed to make all my residents piss in cups and compare it to the piss in the sink? Or did they want me to hold a meeting where I would come off looking like a complete idiot because I have to tell a bunch of grown people not to urinate in the sinks. Shit like this will turn the Politician against you. Having the Politician against you is dorm suicide. This means that the Politician and his drunk friends are the ones doing stupid shit and placing the blame on the unsuspecting residents. That is the pinnacle of dorm life, when you can do anything you want and not ever be suspected. I remember throwing partys in my room and leaving empty alcohol bottles in the bathroom and watching the other RAs interrogate my residents while I layed in bed with a hangover. I sometimes pity the Dorm Mothers because they're fighting a losing battle. They want to create an atmosphere where the residents love the RA and most of the time this doesn't happen. Instead they end with residents who hate them for their effort and wish they would just go away. The easiest way to keep the Dorm Mother happy is to treat them like you would your own parents. If you just tolerate them and occasonally tell them what a good job they're doing, you would be surprised at what they will let you get away with. One night some of my friends and a few residents proposed I organize a wet T-shirt contest as one of my floor programs. Naturally my superiors would never let me do something like this, so I did the next best thing. I had my residents get their water guns and bottles of water and I lead a surprise attack on one of the female floors that would rival Pearl Harbor. By the time they figured out what we were up to, they were already wet. When we were finished, all the girls who were unfortunate enough to be at home that night were soaking wet with hard nipples. For a few hours, I knew what it was like to be a God among men, until another RA showed up, then I was mortal again. Luckily this was a Dorm Mother's floor and when she saw what we had done, she let it slide. She was pissed about the fact that her floor looked like Hurricane Harbor but she let it slide nonetheless. Why? Because I made sure that my residents always attended every program she scheduled, complimented her for all her hard work and never gave her any trouble... aside from this time of course. When the Dorm Mother starts to feel neglected and unappreciated, problems start to arrise. When residents start tearing down posters and giving the Dorm Mother a hard time, they might turn into a Drill Sergeant. If you ended up with a Drill Sergeant, all hope is not lost, it is still possible to enjoy dorm life... just not in your room. While Drill Sergeants enjoy giving residents a hard time, if you are not doing anything wrong, they can't do anything to you. For this reason, you should never have parties in your room or attend any parties on your floor because the Drill Sergeant will find out about it. The Drill Sergeant has residents working for him and against you. These residents, much like the Drill Sergeant, are basically pricks. The only difference is that the residents don't have the power of Drill Sergeant, so the only way they can make themselves feel better is by watching the Sergeant in action. My first night on duty as an RA, I had to patrol the halls with a Drill Sergeant. I can't think of many other days that ranked as high on my shit scale as this one did. I didn't mind having to write up six different people on my first patrol, I didn't mind watching the Drill Sergeant hassle a room full of hot females about their loud music, I didn't mind escorting a drifter out of the dorms and off campus in a city notorious for serial killers and I didn't mind missing Smackdown because this anal bastard took three times longer than normal to finish patrolling the floors. What I did mind was watching this stoopass get on his hands and knees and sniff the bottom of every door to be certain that there was no liquor present. Do you know how embarrassing it is to be lookout for a guy bent over sniffing fucking doors?! As residents, you will probably never experience that sort of embarassment but here's a little tip. If your RA is a Drill Sergeant and you suspect he's sniffing for alcohol, simply open the door and kick him in the face as hard as fucking possible! You can lie and say you were in a rush to leave and had no idea he was there. Now you can party in your room all you want because the Drill Sergeant can't smell anything with a broken nose. And for God sakes, if and when the RA knocks on your door and you're throwing a party, please please please oh please don't stand next to the door whispering, "Oh shit, it's the RA! Hide the alcohol... no not there! Put it in the closet! No put it under my bed, no that's Anthony's bed! My bed is the one with blue sheets! Okay good, I'm gonna open the door, everybody act sober." Put yourself in the RA's shoes. Someone calls the duty phone at 3AM to inform you that someone's throwing a party and it's interferring with their sleep. You go to investigate and you hear the afforementioned dialogue on the otherside of the door after you knock on it. Afterwards you hear the sound of bottles clanging and closet doors opening and closing. Meanwhile you're still outside, shaking your head in disbelief because up until this point, you considered these residents to be intellectual. Finally after five minutes of waiting outside, (Which is roughly 12 seconds to someone drunk) the door opens and right away you smell alcohol. The guy who opened the door is leaning up against it, trying his hardest not to fall over or throw up on you. We hate that shit. The only party I ever shut down, I did so because the drunk residents thought they could outsmart the sober RA. Trying to act sober in front of an RA is like trying to pass a police issued sobriety test. If you have to take the test; you already failed. We're just amusing ourselves at your expense before we write you up."

9/13/2007 3:34:52 PM

that long story was brilliant, great entertaining read, 9.5/10

9/13/2007 3:35:17 PM

Go get em Munster!!

9/13/2007 3:35:55 PM

this makes me kinda wish i had gone strait to school instead of takin time off to party my ass off

9/13/2007 3:38:18 PM

if the loser on your hall passes out drunk while puking in the toilet - do not proceed to let him lay there all night, kindly kick his balls until he wakes up and make him go to his room

this will save you from guilt and lots of questions over the following days from your RA and RD as to why they were found there and why there were drawings on him when no one bothered to move his ass.

9/13/2007 3:41:55 PM

DO THE MUNTER ON THAT HO !

9/13/2007 3:43:25 PM

LAFF

9/13/2007 3:43:47 PM

it is ok to scream and run away shouting "SARS!" when one of your good friends tells you that they are sick

this is especially appropriate when you have 1+ exams and/or projects due over the next couple of weeks

9/13/2007 3:48:03 PM

and don't read the stuff about HS relationships and roll your eyes and say "well we're different"

trust us, DUMP him/her or establish this non-exclusivity rule

EVEN IF THEY DO GO HERE and you were HS and middle school and preschool (wtf?) sweethearts mmkkkk?

there are lots of other boobies and guys who hold doors open out there

9/13/2007 3:51:25 PM

Quote :

"That guy sounds pathetic."

9/13/2007 4:05:55 PM

Quote :

"Go get em Munster!!"

I know you are missing this shit Jesse now that you are graduated and doing old man things

9/13/2007 4:08:44 PM

Quote :

"Whoever said that college was, "The best days of your life" must have lived off campus"

That is pure bullshit. I lived in Owen my freshman year and it was EASILY the best year of my college life. It wasn't nearly as bad as he made it sound.

9/13/2007 4:15:32 PM

^^fuck I'M missing that shit

fuck co-op lol

9/13/2007 4:16:31 PM

this is my first year off campus

i already miss campus

i don't miss the dining hall

9/13/2007 4:21:00 PM

Be original. Don't be like Sleik and copy paste.

9/13/2007 4:24:41 PM

Yeah, don't plagiarise your papers. Bad.

9/13/2007 4:34:08 PM

just because she don't say no don't mean its a yes

girls'll get you hemmed up quick

especially if you ain't hot as fuck

9/13/2007 4:35:15 PM

Quote :

"get off the wolfweb now and never come back and don't run thru the brickyard when it rans"

where was this advice my first semester???!?!?!?


thanks alot big bro ... pff

9/13/2007 4:47:08 PM

girls, dont be sluts but give it up if its time

9/13/2007 7:37:22 PM

AND DON'T SIT IN CLASS AND MAKE THAT STUPID WATER DROP NOISE WITH YOUR PENCIL AND YOUR MOUTH!! THIS IS NOT HIGH SCHOOL!! YOUR CLASSES ARE LIKELY NOT ALL FRESHMEN WHO THINK THAT IS FUNNY!!!

9/13/2007 7:42:17 PM

Do laundry, expecially if your in a hall, and hang out in the laundry area, I met some of my best friends while doing laundry and just hanging out and talking to people.

Don't brag about how much you drank last night, only rookies brag...

don't try to outdrink everyone, get a nice buzz or get fucked, but puking as passing out b/c you weren't pacing yourself or trying to be cool isn't cool. Everybody that drinks will learn there limits eventually... Exceptions to this are powerhour/centinial challenge...

it's ok to stop playing a drinking game when you realize your very very bad at it and you don't want to pass out... but don't be a pussy just b/c your loosing and you don't like loosing there is a difference.

For the dudes: be direct if you like a girl, don't become their buddy, don't be chatty, don't try to develop a relationship over IM... ask her what she's doing and hang out... find something basic like freesbie and play.

For the ladies: That guy sitting beside you talking you up in class and being really nice wants to bwn (have sex) he doesn't want to help you with your hw or be your friend... however, you can be evil and use this to your advantage... women have way more power than they think they do.

Welcome to getting older, you will get fat if you don't excersize and eat like shit... and going to the gym 1x a week won't cut it, you NEED 3 days of cardio activity a week. and I know it's hard as hell to find time but the gym is open a LOT.

Do not take cups to a keg party. kegs are expensive and it's rare for the host to make a profit on one... It's fine to take your own alchohol(but be careful) but don't be stealing from other broke college kids.

go to frat Rush, they throw massive after parties after the rush events with shit tons of free booze and sorostitutes... but DO NOT join a frat, you will regret it by your junior year and no longer do shit (not true for everyone, but in general)

Drinking responsibly(well mostly at least) is a LOT of fun... but if you have violent mood swings while drinking(crying, anger issues, etc) then learn that other people will hate you and avoid you.

Your a freshmen, you don't know shit, the sooner you admit this the sooner the learning process can begin... Also you dont' have to be cool, just enjoy yourself, there are SOOO many people at college that you can find people that like teh same stuff as you and are just as cool/dorky/hip as you.

and when you come back as a sophomore... you still don't know shit, but your 1 year up... Don't over estimate your abilities... I nearly fucked myself for life b/c I thought that I could party my ass off for the first 3 weeks of my sophomore year and then catch up right as the test rolled around... 2.33 semesters are GPA KILLERS

DO NOT try to graduate in 3 years... the real world SUCKS... you go to work, you work 8 hours a day when you can't do anything but work... you get an hour for lunch to do your errands, but typically you just want to go to lunch with friends/coworkers so the trip to the bank/post office gets scrubbed... In college you may have a LOT of work to do, but you can wear basketball shorts, a tshirt and flip flops all day every day... As a working stiff you have nothing but the same trap for the next 30-40 years and when your staring down the barrell of nearly the same thing for the next 30-40 years it's very daunting... vs college you may be poor but you have something to look forward to in the immediate future... Money is nice, and it's cool to not be broke and be able to go places, but college is WAY more fun.

If you can, avoid working remedial jobs. I know that everyone needs money, but not working gives you way more time to do schoolwork and then have fun... Co-ops and internships are important so if you can not work for the first 2 years, have more time to study and get better grades you can get a better internship and eventually a better job.

LEARN WHAT THE UNITS MEAN!!! Units are a GREAT way to check problems, and watch for micrometers and meters mixed into the same problem... you MUST covert them both to one or the other...

Disk Golf is free... and awesome...

Your GPA is your key to your first job, don't let it drop below a 3.0... the Top companies hire 3.5+, the decent companies hire 3.0+ and you'll have to take a hack first job if your <<3.0

Take advantage of your easy classes, get A+'s in them they will make a WORLD of difference and act as a buffer later on.

TA's(english speaking) are God's gifts to college students... they are students too and understand what it feels like to not understand... go to the TA office hours when you don't understand something... but go prepaired, have questions, make an effort to learn as much as you can so you can describe exactly what you don't understand to them...

If you get stuck on a problem, go to the next one, get as many done before you go to get help.

Don't let your buddy do all your work for you in a major class... your only screwing yourself out of learning... your in college to learn and learn how to learn.

The remedial BS classes are actually kinda cool to look back on and offer a break from your hardcore classes, don't take them all up front and then take your hard classes your jr/sr/sr+ years...

If you can take 15hours or less, I rolled through on 12hr semesters and Co-ops and had a very wonderful college experience, and did pretty well for myself because of it.

If you come in as a sophomore, and don't need to go to class to pass, go to class anyways, I know SEVERAL BRILLIANT people who came to college and started getting C's b/c they would skip all their classes, and then miss tests b/c they were so used to skipping class... Hell you meet people in your classes, don't skip them.

Seating is not assigned, sit beside the person you WANT to sit beside, introduce yourself and gain a study buddy.

Learn what your doing, and why your doing it in labs, EXPECIALLY in your own major... it's hands on experience... you won't learn anything if you just read directly down the sheet to get out of lab as fast as possible...

Let your curiousity guide you... Curiousity is a wonderful motivator...

I love college...

9/13/2007 8:35:12 PM

you definitely learned a lot of things in college

unfortunately spelling wasn't one of them apparently

9/13/2007 8:50:23 PM

Quote :

"Do not call your self an Engineer or wear an engineering shirt... you havent even matriculated into a department yet! and there is a 50/50 chance you wont graduate as one."

9/13/2007 9:18:40 PM

ATTN: FRESHMEN

TAKE OFF THE LANYARD.

Don't wear the lanyard.

Don't wear the fruity little bags they give you for free during welcome week just because.

Study and understand the map before you have to go somewhere. Please don't repeatedly ask what somebody means when they give you solid directions to somewhere, we are late for class too!

Use and abuse hillsborough street. Eat there! Do business there! For fuck's sake it's your street, and if you don't use it it'll stay crappy.

9/13/2007 9:47:42 PM

Quote :

"Please don't repeatedly ask what somebody means when they give you solid directions to somewhere, we are late for class too!"

9/13/2007 9:53:25 PM

Quote :

"you definitely learned a lot of things in college unfortunately spelling wasn't one of them apparently "

heh, if this was in the lounge I would have put it through word spellcheck before posting it... but I just wrote random things down directly into a post window for 20minutes...

aside from that, I'm an engineer... I've successfully attained one very well paying job and quit to come back for a masters in Electrical engineering... I know how to use MS office... and I know to check spelling when it matters...

TWW doesn't matter (it's just fun)

[Edited on September 13, 2007 at 10:00 PM. Reason : I'll at least check the spelling in my retort... ]

9/13/2007 9:59:33 PM

firefox has spell checking built in.. it's pretty nice, look into it

9/13/2007 10:02:02 PM

another tip for freshman:

Don't be a goddamn spelling/grammar nazi.

9/14/2007 12:27:26 AM

Quote :

"unfortunately spelling wasn't one of them apparently"

your grammar is a bit off there, kiddo

9/14/2007 12:34:30 AM

metcalf hall elevators are not urinals

9/14/2007 12:35:36 AM