two pages of ick?

i rarely poo in public bathrooms...my favorite bathrooms, though, are at work...i have one that's isolated and no one ever uses it...i bring a book or a magazine or a newspaper in and take a 15-minute break every day

[Edited on October 16, 2008 at 8:14 AM. Reason : .]

10/16/2008 8:14:04 AM

watch out for the aids on that 190% germ infested toilet seat

10/16/2008 8:17:52 AM

ouch dude a fucking pineapple?

10/16/2008 8:21:49 AM

i shit at carmichael everyday to save money on TP

for those of you too concerned about dick sizes, please lift up the god damn seats when you piss...do you honestly care/think other guys wanna see you dick...piss in a urinal

10/16/2008 8:46:13 AM

Quote :

"if there are no drops of piss, shit streaks, vomit or errant pubes on the seat it is okay to sit on god damn it"

HAH, I HAVEN'T EVER SEEN A PUBLIC RESTROOM IN SUCH PRISTINE CONDITION. I ALWAYS END UP HAVING TO WIPE THE DRIED PISS STAINS OFF OF EVERYTHING. WATCH OUT FOR YOUR SHIRT TAIL SON, THAT AREA WHERE THE SEAT HINGES ARE CAN COLLECT A POOL OF PISS SON.

OH AND WATCH OUT FOR YOUR BACK TOO SON, IF YOU LEAN BACK YOU MAY GET PISS SPRAY ON THE BACK OF YOUR SHIRT SON.

AND THEN THE ASS OF YOUR PANTS. SOMETIMES THERE IS PISS RUNNING DOWN THE OUTSIDE OF THE BOWL AT THE FRONT, FROM TWO MAIN THINGS. THE FIRST IS WHERE PEOPLE PISS WHILE THEY'RE SHITTING AND THEY FUCK UP AND LET THE PISS GET ALL UP ON THE RIM OF THE BOWL AND IT RUNS OVER TO THE OUTSIDE. THE OTHER IS FROM STREAMS HITTING SHORT OF THE TARGET, THUS RUNNING DOWN THE FRONT OF THE BOWL. THEN IF YOU AREN'T CAREFUL AND YOU LET THE ASS OF YOUR PANTS TOUCH THE OUTSIDE OF THE BOWL YOU COULD END UP WITH A PISS STAIN ON YOUR PANT'S ASS.

[Edited on October 16, 2008 at 9:45 AM. Reason : ]

10/16/2008 9:44:15 AM

This thread brings the lawls.

10/16/2008 9:47:21 AM

Quote :

"...do you pull the part of the toilet paper that is exposed off and throw it away? I always pull at leat 3ft off the roll. i don't want any public bathroom funk on my butt."

i do this when i need toilet paper to blow my nose

i thought i was the only one, though. wow.

10/16/2008 11:00:53 AM

Quote :

"Mr. Joshua takes his shirt off i have no idea why i just remembered him posting that once"

Well yeah, sometimes.

I have no memory of posting that.

10/16/2008 4:08:27 PM

I like to put down a layer or two of tp in the bowl in public restrooms when I crap so I don't get splash attacked, especially when I know I'll have diarrhea.

Also helps if you feel like you'll have a sticky shit and don't want to leave marks in the toilet (definately recommended when visiting friend's house)

[Edited on October 16, 2008 at 4:17 PM. Reason : .]

10/16/2008 4:15:54 PM

if there is a lid, always close it.

toilet water tornadoes and shit.

vicious.

10/16/2008 4:24:11 PM

Quote :

"TOLIET WATER TORNADOS"

10/16/2008 4:36:14 PM

TOLIET

10/16/2008 4:36:44 PM

to-lay

10/16/2008 4:37:08 PM

Quote :

"Charles Gerba, a microbiologist at the University of Arizona"

Ha ha when I worked for Kimberly Clark, I had to do some research and I read a bunch of this dude's stuff. I remember reading that office desks are 100X worse than toilet seat for germs because desks are rarely cleaned.





[Edited on October 16, 2008 at 4:42 PM. Reason : fg]

10/16/2008 4:41:48 PM

we get gloves from you people^

10/16/2008 4:51:56 PM

Bran Muffin ftw.

10/16/2008 5:13:38 PM

bttt

so I'm taking a crap at the Wendy's on Western which if you haven't been is basically a single with a crapper and a urinal and so I go in there and push the button to lock it and I'm pushing out a supreme when the handle turns and that lock just pops right out and in walks construction dude.

Me: Ahh shit, dude, just wait a second
Him: Ah, oh, um
Me: I'll just be a second
Him: *points to urinal* I mean..
Me: DUDE. I'll just be a second.

Note to world: if you walk in on a dude taking a crap in the open, close the fucking door and wait.

/blog

11/3/2008 9:24:25 PM

hahahaha

i avoid public toilets like the plague. the bathrooms at my office are okay, because they're cleaned several times a day and have limited access

but i always use the first few feet of TP to wipe down the seat (and the bottom rim in case my scrote or johnson make contact), then i wipe the immediate floor area with another piece of toilet paper (with my foot) and kick soiled TP behind the toilet. This wipes up any piss spray or pubes that might be on the floor.

i always fold my shirt sleeve up and flush with my foot.

11/3/2008 9:30:56 PM

^^ sorry dog, next time i'll wait.

11/3/2008 9:33:23 PM

you gotta put down a TP landing pad to prevent splashation from the existing liquid in the bowl, assuming the liquid is clear when you take a seat

11/3/2008 9:35:18 PM

yall are some of the biggest pussies ive ever heard of, man up
yes you do need to line the toilet with tp, but throwing away a foot of tp off the top is just beyond ridiculous, if you do this just tear off your penis and turn it cause your man license has been revoked

as far as catching stuff from other people, as long as it doesnt kill you you should be thankful for catching other people's bacteria
thats how your immune system learns how to fight disease,
the way yall do things your immune system will be like sheep in wolves den

11/3/2008 9:40:30 PM

I have some friends that make the most obnoxious loudest noises possible when dropping a turd in public.


"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg"

11/3/2008 10:10:44 PM

ive been at mitch's before and had to take a shit, decided to go to ny pizza and use theirs, mitch's bathroom is a little public

11/3/2008 10:11:20 PM

Quote :

"tp>kleenex>paper towel>crumpled up magazine pages>leaves>pine cones"

FTFY.

11/3/2008 10:36:02 PM

god damn I love to shit

11/3/2008 10:38:26 PM

taking a shit in public makes me realize how much i appreciate my own toilet. its so nice to come home and just go in there and not worry about what's on the seat, floor, etc. its all yours...

11/3/2008 10:48:42 PM

Whenever I take a dump in public restrooms it always smells the same. Whenever I take a dump at home, there are a variety of smells.

I don't like public bathrooms where you have to grab a handle to pull the door open or turn a knob. It's better when you can wash your hands and lean into a door with your shoulder or back and push it open.

11/3/2008 10:55:45 PM

Quote :

"...do you pull the part of the toilet paper that is exposed off and throw it away?"

I usually use that first bit to wipe the seat before sitting.


Two birds, one stone.

11/3/2008 11:07:07 PM

Quote :

"I always pull at leat 3ft off the roll"

are you six years old?

11/3/2008 11:08:09 PM

try taking a shit with no doors and having a dude sit across you and having a conversation, the most awkward part is when you have to wipe

11/3/2008 11:25:58 PM