i could write a story on this

11/23/2008 1:36:46 AM

thanks for sharing!

11/23/2008 1:37:22 AM

lolololol

11/23/2008 1:38:40 AM

look up chad bratske, DE for the colts ... he saved my life

11/23/2008 1:39:09 AM

when i was in your arms

musta been sumthin you sssaaaaaiiiiddddd

[Edited on November 23, 2008 at 1:40 AM. Reason : /.dyutyegcb]

11/23/2008 1:40:22 AM

that's too much work

you should just post the story here

11/23/2008 1:40:50 AM

nopeeee

11/23/2008 1:41:05 AM

the whole story?

11/23/2008 1:41:47 AM

A few years ago my family went to Bermuda. I rented one of those shitty mopeds and when I was trying to turn left out of a parking lot, the clutch stuck. I kept revving it more and more to get it to engage (stupid, I know), and then the damn thing engaged and shot out into the road.

In Bermuda, they drive on the left side, so when I got to the far side of the road, I managed to look left and see a giant dump truck about 10 feet from me. The guy's face was . I looked forward again to see a massive lava rock wall. *Smash* My helmet was thisclose to smashing into the wall, huge gash on my leg, the front "bumper" thing was all bent up around the wheel, which was twisted and undriveable.

11/23/2008 1:51:24 AM

ITT: posts from people that resemble the objective in Paper Football.

11/23/2008 5:02:51 AM

^^fender

11/23/2008 5:04:56 AM

the moment i saw lewoods

I'm Big Business and i approved this message.

11/23/2008 5:14:51 AM

been in 4 motorcycle wrecks (including one where I lost control at about 110 mph, finally got thrown from the bike at about 80-85, and tumbled about 10 times)

fell down a flight of stairs, face-first into the corner of a cinderblock wall (split my forehead to the skull, took 50 stitches or so. can barely see it now). Went into shock, lost my vision, took an ambulance ride.

had a pistol pulled on me

was fumbling around setting up a hand-held GPS one day in a small airplane, not paying attention and not noticing that I was in a substantial descent...came within about 150' of flying into the water. it wasn't THAT close, but close enough that I no longer screw around with setting any stuff like that up on takeoff/departure.

balled up a car one time (took a few minutes to get the door open enough to wriggle my way out). a truck had parked in the middle of the road, just beyond the crest of a hill, on wet pavement. couldn't stop, hit him about about 35 mph. Not really that bad...but the car was a mess.

brought a jet in to land with the nose gear retracted. it finally came down a few seconds before we touched down (and engaged the arresting gear). even if we hadn't, we would've almost certainly been fine...just would've been a rough landing and fucked up the airplane. that actually wasn't scary. Now, being in the backseat of the jet unable to see forward while the pilot up front made his first night landing on the aircraft carrier? That made me uneasy.

[Edited on November 23, 2008 at 9:25 AM. Reason : asdfsad]

[Edited on November 23, 2008 at 9:25 AM. Reason : i've had the ambulance show up for me 2 other times, but declined it.]

11/23/2008 9:24:02 AM

In the past year: 4 IEDs, 1 Hellfire missile, and a few sniper shots.


But then I'm in baghdad so my numbers are skewed.

11/23/2008 9:37:07 AM

fell asleep while driving 3 years ago

got mugged this past summer...

don't know which one brought me closer

11/23/2008 9:44:42 AM

would have died if i hadn't decided to go out on a friday over the summer(almost didn't wanted to go to bed early) i'm a heavy sleeper, and the house burned down, roof collapsed where i would have been sleeping

11/23/2008 10:01:46 AM

in the car wreck i had if i had been wearing my seat belt i would have been pinned between the car and a huge oak tree

11/23/2008 10:27:37 AM

Same as terpball

I got mugged a month ago with two others, and that's got to've been the closest I've been. Instead cost me my cell phone and set of keys (no cash/wallet) as my "get the fu¢k away" tax.

Either frequent roadside near-narcolepsy, drinking 25 y/o Captain Morgan black, or mixing acetaminophen-based allergy meds and lots of booze (not the same night) place distant second, third, and fourth in no order.

11/23/2008 10:37:13 AM

I can't swim very well at all and I went cliff-diving in Wendell

11/23/2008 11:52:43 AM

Wendell has cliffs?

11/23/2008 11:55:19 AM

i had cancer

i made a dumb rookie mistake as a cop that, had things gone differently, i would have been shot n killed quite easily. ill never make that mistake again

11/23/2008 11:59:56 AM

Apparently. I didn't drive but my friends said it was Wendell.

11/23/2008 12:00:20 PM

The first time I ever went into a burning building (training fire with the VFD I was working with) I was on the nozzle. We went to the burning room and as soon as I saw it I froze up because of how beautiful the fire creeping in and out of the walls was. About 1 or 2 seconds after I froze up the floor in the room completely fell out. I imagine if I hadn't frozen up I would have ended up in the basement. At the end of the night I was looking in the basement... there was a huge steel I-beam (maybe 14-16 inches tall) that ran across the bottom of the house. There was so much heat the beam warped and dropped about 3 feet.

Later that year I was fishing with 3 of my friends. Two of my friends were the pushing and shoving physical type friends and one tried to push the other out of the boat. Instead of falling out he grabbed onto the edge of the boat and rolled it over (this boat had characteristics similar to a canoe, very easy to roll over). Those two guys swam with the current towards the shore (only about 75 yards). I stayed with the boat and rolled it back over. The fourth guy swam perpendicular to the current to try to reach the dock which was about 100 yards away. He had on a lot of baggy clothes and didn't make it. As soon as I saw him start to struggle I rushed after him with a life jacket. I got about 10 yards behind him when he went down (I couldn't throw the jacket at him, the wind was blowing into me). As soon as I got over the spot where I thought he was I dove down to try to grab him. Looking back I realized that if I had found him in the water, he definately would have pulled me under as im a strong swimmer but I don't think I could pull myself and him out - the water was about 20-30 feet deep. I probably would have drowned as well..

11/23/2008 12:01:51 PM

When i was 14 a kid was shooting fireworks off. He wasn't paying attention and shot 1 bottle rocket off that was directed at my head i barely dodged that it. Wish i had a slow motion video would have been Matrix style.

11/23/2008 12:04:09 PM

When i was in flight school for the Navy in Corpus Crappy Texas I had an incident. I was on a cross country flight with my instructor and it was a visual flight plan only, meaning that you stay at a lower altitude and you rely only on the visual cues and horizon. I was instrument certified at the time, but this particular flight was a visual flight path only. Well somewhere around Dallas the weather starts getting shitty and cloudy, so we radio Dallas tower to give us a new altitude so we can get an instrument flight plan since its dangerous as fuck to be at a low altitude when you have no visibility. The tower was busy so they told us to circle n hold in a pattern until they could get to us. Well I am in the front seat of the T-34 and my instructor is in the back and im just flying the pattern I was told. I dont remember our exact altitude but it was somewhere around 1000....to low for the weather we were in. Suddenly out of the clouds right in front of us appears one of those huge TV towers. We were literally gonna fly right into the fucking thing. My ass puckered like a raisin but I jammed the stick hard right and we barely avoided hitting it. My instructor then gets on the radio and is yelling at Dallas tower, who had forgotten about us, to give us a new altitude immediately. We then proceeded to climb to a safe altitude for the weather conditions. That was my closest call in a plane so far.

11/23/2008 12:12:29 PM

uhh, if you were flying VFR, why didn't you just climb to however many thousand feet +500 you wanted to begin with?

11/23/2008 6:31:50 PM

allergic reaction to vaccine

boring i know...

11/23/2008 6:35:03 PM

Quote :

"uhh, if you were flying VFR, why didn't you just climb to however many thousand feet +500 you wanted to begin with?"

The cloud cover was really thick, we were trying to stay below it to stick to our VFR plan which is why we were below 1000. For us to get above the clouds required a new altitude clearance so we could go to IFR. Before we could do that we hit some low clouds and, out of no where came our TV tower.

11/23/2008 8:41:25 PM

I was hit by a car on my bike when I was 13. It was in the neighborhood though so the car was only going like 30. I have a cool scar on my leg from it

11/23/2008 8:42:34 PM

Dehydration from the after effects of food poison.....

.... The go-cart wreck and possum stories are more entertaining than that of avoiding death....

Long & Short: Not Close

11/23/2008 8:47:33 PM

I was hit by a car riding a dirtbike with no helmet... broken arm and rib but could've easily been worse.

11/23/2008 8:49:19 PM

Quote :

"^^that house didn't happen to be off bearskin did it?"

Nay, it was in Asheville when I was home during the summer.

11/24/2008 10:27:04 AM

Pneumonia + complications when I was maybe 8 years old.

There are some really lucky people in here. Damn.

11/24/2008 10:33:49 AM

Reading this thread.

11/24/2008 10:39:15 AM

When I was a month or so old...pyloric stenosis...complications from surgery led to a code blue. Mom kicked the doctor after finding out what it was b/c when he got the page for it, he said, "Oh, it's not a big deal." I guess trying to reassure her.

Got t-boned at an intersection (my fault) when a Taurus flew through around 65-70 mph. My truck spun three times in the air off the ground and landing in the ditch. I managed to crawl out of my driver's window. I was fine, but a foot or so closer to the front of the car, I'd be gone. I thought someone in the Taurus was dead.

I think that's it...Other than flipping my go-cart and rolling a few times. Lucky my neck didn't break (no roll cage).

I'm lucky. Mostly with the second one.

11/24/2008 10:45:42 AM

Damn fuck/marry/kill thread...

and i've fallen out of a 20' tree, off the roof of a house and jumped off a 25' cliff on a bike...

not to mention the 20 staples in my head from being hit w/ a quartz rock.

11/24/2008 10:48:18 AM

apparently, when i was a few weeks old i had croup. it was so bad, that my parents rushed me to the hospital where they were told after i almost didn't make it. i was in a little oxygen thingy and errythang.

11/24/2008 10:51:46 AM

1) When I was about seven I got caught by the undertow in Myrtle Beach...got sucked under water for a few seconds, popped back up, was still being pulled out when this big dude grabbed me. Might not have died, but wasn't too confident about my swimming abilities at 7 to be able to get out of a strong current.

2) Skydiving last year and the we had to cut the first parachute when it came out tangled up. Apparently that happens more often then one would think, so I wasn't really close to dying...but I was a lot closer than had the first chute been fine.

3) Was passing a guy on a hiking trail on the cliffs of Cinque Terre, Italy when his dumbass turned to supposedly make more room from me...but I guess he forgot he had a big backpack on and when he turned, his backpack hit me and pushed me off the side...but my foot caught a little ledge and I grabbed some rocks and was able to hold on and climb right back up. But I had a straight drop off onto rocks about a hundred feet down had I not been able to hang on. Had to hold back from punching that guy when I got back up...fucking retard.

That's about it I think. No bad car wrecks or anything like that.

11/24/2008 10:57:06 AM

At the shooting range one day, when the dumbass guy next to me had a problem with his gun. I looked over at him and he had his gun pointing at me, not intentionally, but it was still loaded. I think was jammed or something, so he decided to start hitting the damn thing not realizing it was pointed directly at my chest. I yelled out to him, and he realized what he was doing. He apologized but still the dumbass just about shot me.

11/24/2008 11:01:59 AM

They were planning on me being born dead. The APGAR test is the first test I ever failed.

I hit an 18-wheeler carrying apple pies my senior year of high school. If I had been a second earlier I would have gone under the trailer.

My boss sent me down to the engine room this summer while wearing dress clothes (which by proxy have more fabric than my regular work attire). Lots of moving parts, and if we had hit a wake = no good. Big, loud Detroits. Might not have died, but probably would be infinitely less attractive, lol.

11/24/2008 11:03:24 AM

7-8-07, the gf and I were traveling home from shopping and were 2 cars back (bout half a second in terms of speed/distance) from a 90mph head on collision. two cars, 4 people - 3 DOA, the last died in the hospital.

11/24/2008 11:07:09 AM

Quote :

"As soon as I got over the spot where I thought he was I dove down to try to grab him. Looking back I realized that if I had found him in the water, he definately would have pulled me under as im a strong swimmer but I don't think I could pull myself and him out - the water was about 20-30 feet deep. I probably would have drowned as well.."

Am I reading this right? One of your friends drowned because you guys were grabassing around in a boat?

Not trying to be a dick, but

11/24/2008 11:20:16 AM

I still have glass in my head from that.

[Edited on November 24, 2008 at 7:04 PM. Reason : that's not where I wrecked, just where it sat until it sold]

11/24/2008 7:00:39 PM

When I was a kid I got really sick (Scarlet Fever and some other crazy things) - I got really pale and started losing my hair. The first doctor I went to said I had Leukemia. We got a second opinion, I got put on some meds (suppositories ) and one day I woke up and I was fine like nothing happened.

I've also had a gun to my head when I was robbed and locked in a freezer.

And I had horrible car accident that made the EMT's jaw drop when I walked out of the car (basically) unharmed.

11/24/2008 9:32:08 PM

I got shot in the face with a .44 magnum, but fortunately I'm a Highlander so you know... no biggy.

11/24/2008 9:36:49 PM

I almost got hit by the Wolfline several times.

11/24/2008 9:44:30 PM

cliche of course, but a car wreck. Coming home from Senior Prom at about 6am. No drinking involved, I was just tired from being up for like 24 hours...and had a belly full of chocolate chip pancakes

Its about a 45 minute drive from her dad's house to my parent's house. I made it up the highway portion and finally dozed completely off about 2 miles from my parents neighborhood on back roads. I missed a downhill turn since i was asleep and they think my car was airborne when I hit the frame of the car in between my door and my backseat driver side door (4 door car). Shattered all the windows and I had so many small chunks of glass in my face it was silly. I was wearing glasses and not contacts back then and they think it saved my eyes (my glasses were pitted to all hell). I also hit the local farmer's fence for part of his cow pasture that went right up behind the tree heh.

I apparently got out of the car within 30 minutes or so of when they think I crashed and made it to some old couples house who I scared the hell out of they said, knocking on their door at 630 covered in blood and glass. I couldnt remember my phone # but somehow they finally got it. (Ill have to ask my parents house, I actually forget that part). They called 911 and called my parents.

The thing that creeps me out to this day? I do not remember ANYTHING besides driving home feeling a little tired and then waking up in the hospital the next afternoon.

I get goosebumps still just thinking about it. Luckily I only ended up with a big concussion, several broken ribs and a lot of stitches.

11/24/2008 9:49:22 PM

I was in a car accident where a large truck T-boned my car on my side. Officials on the scene said that I was fortunate that I was only 5 ft tall because my seat was just far enough forward that it saved my life. I do not remember anything about the accident other than being cut out of the car.

I ODed twice. Once, I had my stomach pumped and a long stay in the looney bin.

11/24/2008 10:04:02 PM

OD = Overdosed??

I'm Big Business and i approved this message.

11/24/2008 10:04:44 PM

^^^, ^^ Your stories are better.

I almost got hit by a Cary asshole driving a Beemer while I was walking to work.

[Edited on November 24, 2008 at 10:06 PM. Reason : asdf]

11/24/2008 10:06:14 PM