#2

1/26/2009 6:25:55 PM

When I was a junior in high school this russian kid transfered in as a freshman even though he was only 12 or 13. The kid ran everywhere because apparently teachers in Russia would hit you for being late to class. He ended up in my spanish class (which was taught by my wrestling coach who pretty much let his athletes do whatever they wanted in class).

I finished a quiz, got permission to go to the bathroom, and then sat around junior hall. At some point the russian kid went to the bathroom and walked right past me. He was amazed that I was sitting around and he asked me what I was doing. I told him "If anyone asks, just tell them that I'm taking a huge dump."

He went back to class and apparently coach asked where I was a few minutes later. Having a poor grasp of english, he promptly told the class that I was taking a huge dump. I still laugh about that one.

Later that same russian kid went on to become a national ballroom dancing champion.

1/26/2009 7:00:34 PM

why am i not surprised by any of your actions?

I'm Big Business and i approved this message.

1/26/2009 7:05:26 PM

Quote :

"I snuck out of a middle school dance to drink beer with some guy friends. DJ, my gf at the time, came out and told us to stop so I shook up a beer and sprayed it on her. Then she grabbed my beer and sarcastically told us how cool it was to drink beer. Then her uncle showed up and grounded her after I said something like "No way DJ, we don't drink beer" and ran off. Later her sister killed Heath Ledger."

ahahahahahah

1/26/2009 7:06:05 PM

Quote :

"But the worst thing I ever done - I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa - and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life. "

winner

1/26/2009 7:22:22 PM

Here is one that I laugh about that happened to me.

If you walked about a half mile from my house there was a church with a huge hill. I'm from Maryland so it snows a good bit. When I was little (6-9ish) I would go practice snowboarding over there when my parents were to busy to run me up to Whitetail.

Anyway, one day I am walking to the hill (which is off a pretty busy road) and a person in an oncoming car threw an entire hamburger out of the window and hit me in the face. At the time I was kind of mad. But the rest of the day and since I have just imagined how funny that would be if I were the one in the car.

1/26/2009 7:24:36 PM

in first or second grade i would chase boys on the playground trying to kiss them. when they would try to run away from me i'd tackle them and kiss them all over. lol, not so much mean as it is just kind of funny

also in 8th grade we were taking the final exam for history and this girl that sat next to me was such a bitch to me but tried to copy my answers. so i would write the correct letter (multiple choice) really lightly next to the question and circle the totally wrong answer and show it to her.

i waited until she turned hers in then i went back and changed all my answers to the right ones.

the thing i REALLY got in trouble for was this. my friend had her bike stolen so she made flyers to put up around the neighborhood. my other friend didn't really like her so she convinced me to go around and rip down all the flyers. i agreed then later felt guilty and told my mom. mom made me call the friend and apologize and wouldn't let me see the other friend for 2 months. 2 months is a long time as a kid, and even longer when they live a block away!!

[Edited on January 26, 2009 at 7:50 PM. Reason : dskjf]

1/26/2009 7:48:14 PM

In 5th grade, this was a kid named Trent Douglas, and his mother was killed in a car crash, a single car crash where she was legally drunk at the time of her death

We mocked him mercilessly in school, pinching our throats to emulate a high pitched cryptkeeper voice, calling out "Chris, its me your mommy, I miss you sooooooooooo much" while the rest of us laughed relentlessly and he buried his head in his desk and cried

We invented a game in recess called "Driving Mrs. Douglas", where we had to wear blindfolds and and spin our heads 10 times on a baseball bat till we were dizzy as fuck then run into the soccer goal posts...10 points for direct impact, 5 for a glancing blow

We went to his mother's grave and mooned the headstone so that all of ours asses were pressed against it, then snapped a polaroid, made 30 copies and put a new one on his desk every morning before he came in every day for a month

I dressed as Mrs. Douglas for Halloween...the coup de grace of my costume was one of those axe helmets, the ones that looks like it going through your head, modded into a lampost, just like the very lampost she ran into...I even went trick or treating at the Douglas residence; sadly, no one was home



There were assholes

there were fucking assholes

and then there was Slave Famous and his crew


But I've come a long way since then

1/26/2009 7:53:28 PM

When I was a junior in high school I was in band and played the trombone. We would play at all the little ceremonies leading up to graduation, playing music as the graduates walked in, and later when they walked out. The ceremonies were really long and boring, and often took several hours. The band would sit down on the gym floor while the rest of the student body sat in the bleachers. Many times these were formal events with all the seniors dressing up.

I sat behind this girl named Mary Beth who played the french horn, who happened to be a senior. She broke her leg and was in a cast, walking with metal crutches. Well, I get very bored, and I started looking for something to do. I thought it would be funny to mess with her crutches, so I extended them out fully and put them back under her chair without anyone knowing. In my mind, when the assembly was over, she would find them and we'd all have a little laugh. Well, what actually happened, was she ended up getting an award. When they read her name off I just about crapped myself. She stood up (she was an above average sized girl) and grabbed her crutches, and then instantly realized what I had done. Rather than fix them, she looked back at me and yelled my name, then threw her crutches in my direction. She then proceeded to hop on her one good leg (in her dress) all the way to the podium, get her award, and hop back, all this in front of a student body that was laughing hysterically.

She was so mad at me for the longest time (go figure). The whole school called her "Hoppy" or something for the rest of her time there.

1/26/2009 8:03:38 PM

I got into a fistfight with another girl in elementary school. She was a bully though so I guess she deserved it

I'm sure I did some mean thing to my little sister but I can't think of anything.

1/26/2009 8:24:47 PM

i used to tease boys with gum and make them kiss me to get some.

my neighbor had a crush on me for years, and when i moved away he sent me a letter telling me about his crush and sent me this bracelet. i wrote back to him telling him i hated him and that he was ugly. neither of which were true.

1/26/2009 8:26:11 PM

made fun of the losers, and never picked them for recess football games

1/26/2009 8:26:31 PM

Quote :

"But I've come a long way since then "

orly

1/26/2009 8:27:00 PM

i stole a girl's boyfriend
twice
once in 9th grade then again in 10th grade

1/26/2009 8:32:25 PM

i held my brother down one time and farted bare-ass in his face. Sorry bro...

1/26/2009 8:54:35 PM

^Hahaha my older brother did that shit to me a few times. I always got back at by sneaking into his room when he was asleep and doing the same thing to him though. Brothers can be real assholes to each other.

1/26/2009 10:05:52 PM

I kicked my youngest brother in the face once and made his nose bleed. Then so I wouldn't get in trouble for him bleeding all over the place i grabbed a tampon and told him to put it in his nose so he would bleed everywhere. So the rest of the day my brother was walking around with tampons in his nose

1/26/2009 10:10:26 PM

those ones w/o the plastic applicator thing (OP brand?) make great nose bleed stoppers

just pull the string off and save a little dignity

1/26/2009 10:18:18 PM

Thank god for the humor of poopface's post, b/c Slave Famous's makes me sad for humanity...

[Edited on January 26, 2009 at 10:19 PM. Reason : ]

1/26/2009 10:18:53 PM

I called a kid fat once.

I can't believe some of the things you people did.

Especially Slave Famous. Shame on you. I hope you are making that shit up.

1/26/2009 10:19:52 PM

I was a pretty nice kid, for the most part. I can't think of anything really bad that I did.
I got into a few fights, but I think that's normal.

There was this one girl that I used to pick on in middle school....and a little bit of high school (some of freshman year), cause she was so goddamn ugly.

I ran into her my freshman year of college when I was visiting a friend up at App. She was totally cool, and happy to see me. I apologized, and she just shrugged....
cool girl I guess

1/26/2009 10:24:51 PM

there was this one kid who got picked on a lot in high school...well his senior year he was like 6'5 250 and came out for the football team. The first practice he went after one kid who talked a lot of shit and knocked him out of practice and hurt another kid who quit the next day. He ended up playing division 2 somewhere

1/26/2009 10:31:32 PM

i skipped a bunch to see if Slave Famous had posted yet
i thought he could have come up with something better than that


nothing major for me, but:

(from the elem/middle/high school stories thread)
-In 6th/7th grade, we had this foreign exchange kid from Algeria named Karim and he was a muslim (and an arrogant dick)
At lunch he would also ask the lunchlady if the food had pork in it.
Well one day we made him think something he got had pork in it and he got all scared and was about to cry thinking he had to get his stomach pumped
I guess we finally told him we were joking at some point, before he went to tell a teacher


-threw an optimus prime toy at my sister and knocked one of her teeth crooked


-my friend sold me his little brother's Game Gear for $10 lol, sometime around 1993/94




[Edited on January 26, 2009 at 10:44 PM. Reason : asdfasdf]

1/26/2009 10:40:50 PM

had a friend in high school (freshman year?) who was so into Britney Spears that he had posters and shit. His mom and dad (divorced) both bought tickets to her concert. So another friend and I typed up and mailed a letter saying it was from Britney's management and he had won a contest and had backstage passes. Just bring the letter and they'd check their list and give him passes at the show. Well he's so freaked out that he has to have us go along so it end sup being the three of us and I think some sisters going up there with this 15 yr old guy freaking out the whole way. He gets there and tries to get backstage a bunch and ended up very depressed.

he got a job at the movie theater, got busted by the cops smoking pot, turned gay (we're pretty damn sure), and who knows what else is going on with him now.

1/26/2009 10:44:02 PM

we used to gang up on this girl and just pick on her during our free time, in sunday school...of all places. oopsy. my sunday school teacher sucked?

1/26/2009 10:57:03 PM

Hmmm...I can't think of any particularly 'mean' things, but some fun ones at least:

We had a mentally retarded kid in my Physics class (senior in high school - I know a little late) who abused his special treatment to the extreme. People in my class would hide his Nintendo Power magazine and lunchbox and stuff causing him to flip out and yell and cry.

Sophomore year in high school I was on a church trip to Canada w/ some guys. It was the night before we were going back home (technically early morning of that day) and one dude fell asleep early. The rest of us changed all the clocks and acting like we were packing our bags. We bust up in his room telling him that the bus is pulling out in 5 mins. He starts throwing his junk in his bags and runs out the door before anyone can stop him. We all head to the hotel windows and watch as he runs across the parking lot to the bus at 3:00 am. He tries the door on the bus and leans on the front bumper for about five mins before he realized that he's the only person in the entire parking lot!

In middle school, a bunch of us knew a different retarded kid, who happened to have a little dandruff. We took a trip to SC one time and kept telling him "It doesn't snow in SC!" He never got it.

This past summer I found out that one of my friends looked after another retarded guy and makes him chase his truck in parking lots and hits him with golf balls and stuff. Well, my friend paid said retarded guy $5 to hide in my room butt naked when I get out of the shower. I figured out what was going on right before I went in so when he jumped out from my closet I proceded to whip the piss out of him w/ a curled up towel.

Ah-ha, now I'm starting to remember back further:

In second grade some girl told me to show the teacher my middle finger, so I did - Big time...all up in her face, not knowing what that meant. Got out of that one I think though.

In kindergarten I told a girl I was gonna stab her in the neck, because she told me the same thing.

We used to shoot slugs off the side of my house w/ BB guns. They explode. Makes big mess. Didn't realize the BBs get stuck in the wood exterior. On a similar note, one time I wasn't paying attention and shot my neighbors car door panel with a BB. No real damage though.

It's sad I can only remember these few things. Perhaps I'll remember more soon!

1/26/2009 11:11:47 PM

everybody's probably done this, but...

The class went to the library, and I slipped "Becoming Gay: The Journey to Self-Acceptance" into this kid's bookbag. So the class walks out, and BEEP BEEP BEEP! the sensor goes off, and the kid has to go back. Everybody crowds around and him while he searches his bookbag and finds "Becoming Gay." Even the girls laughed at that...he never lived it down

1/26/2009 11:18:19 PM

Once when I was 7, my parents were leasing out some property they had to a family. They invited the family over for lunch to talk business one day and sent their fat ass daughter and me outside to play. Well, the girl was annoying, a know-it-all, and generally just got on my nerves. My parents had a few chickens out back. So we walked around to the chicken pen and she started bragging about how she knew all about chickens. My parents had just raked all the chicken shit out of the pen and had piled it up in a bag for my dad to mix with soil and make fertilizer. Well, the girl goes up to the bag and says "I know what this is. It's chicken food." I say "yep, you're right and chicken food is really good for you. We should eat some because it tastes great." She agrees so, I grab a handful of dirt off the ground and pretend to eat it. This bitch grabs a huge handful of chicken shit and shoves it in her mouth. She chews it up and swallows and, to my surprise, grabs another handful and shovels it in. She starts talking about how great it tastes and how she could live off of the stuff. I walk away, unable to contain my laughter.

1/26/2009 11:26:16 PM

I once called a girl ugly. I didn't really think she was ugly at the time (in retrospect she was ) I was just following the crowd.

The meanest stuff I did probably was an off the cuff remark that I wasn't even aware was mean.

1/26/2009 11:34:28 PM

one of my favs was to sneak in my older brothers room while he was asleep and put mouse traps beside his bed. he'd wake up, feet would hit the floor, scream, i'd sit in the other room and laugh

1/26/2009 11:39:09 PM

Quote :

"Slave Famous : In 5th grade, this was a kid named Trent Douglas, and his mother was killed in a car crash ... We mocked him mercilessly .... "

Congratulations, S.F.: that truly hurt my soul.

I mean, I'm pretty callous to internet horrors... But I don't think I've ever read anything so vile.

You might not win "most horrible person ever" ... but you're a contender.

hope you're proud.

1/26/2009 11:42:15 PM

For laughs or gasps, I'm your man

I leave everything in between to the rest of you plebes

1/26/2009 11:45:38 PM

Quote :

"so it end sup being the three of us and I think some sisters going up there with this 15 yr old guy freaking out the whole way. He gets there and tries to get backstage a bunch and ended up very depressed. he got a job at the movie theater, got busted by the cops smoking pot, turned gay (we're pretty damn sure), and who knows what else is going on with him now."

big surprise



[Edited on January 26, 2009 at 11:49 PM. Reason : ]

1/26/2009 11:46:00 PM

i killed a stray kitten by throwin it up and down for about an hour

i stopped when i saw it was bleedin from the mouth, petted it and left it

found it the next day dead in a nearby yard

not proud

at the same time one of my friends killed a prayin mantis, and i had heard it was against the law to kill them cuz they were endangered, so i wrapped it in paper towels and buried it

so that kinda evens out the kitten killing

1/26/2009 11:46:11 PM

had a jewish kid in our neighborhood that was "weird" read-gay. (now engaged to girl)

we lived in Lakepark (not the condos) in north raleigh off lead mine rd. Along with lead mine rd. there are areas that were mined for graphite creating a cliff over the creek that ran behind our neighborhood swim club.

well we convince this kid to suck our friends cock. our friend goes and stands in the creek. as the kid starts to approach our friend me and another guy piss all over him from the top of the cliff.



i still feel terrible. but he shouldnt have been trying to be a homo as a kid.

cause their aint much worse than being a "fag" at 12 years old.

1/26/2009 11:46:19 PM

A middle school teacher of mine used to let us have paper ball fights on the day right before a break. I couldn't stand her, so I wrapped a D battery in a piece of paper and chucked it into her head. Suspended of course (after someone ratted me out).

Stuck a guy in the neck with a pencil after he tried picking on me in front of some girl he liked


Convinced a girl to do the whole you show me yours and Ill show you mine bit. Got her to drop her pants while a lot of my friends were hiding in the closet.

1/26/2009 11:46:20 PM

most of the mean things i did as a child were directed toward my little sister. who was mean as hell and extremely conniving at the time.

i told her she had to pay me $1 if she wanted me to play Barbies with her. i couldn't have been more than 5 at the time.

we used to get so pissed at each other that we'd slap each other and eventually grab each others' forearms and dig in with the nails. of course, i had nice strong nails that were always long. she had short, soft ones. i actually drew blood a couple of times.

1/26/2009 11:48:24 PM

Quote :

"I once called a girl ugly. I didn't really think she was ugly at the time (in retrospect she was ) I was just following the crowd. "

I once, in maybe 3rd grade, picked on a girl that was not ugly, but told her she was until she cried. Her mother was a teacher at the school and was not happy. I'm 75% sure a year or so ago, I saw her working at the Red Hot and Blue in North Raleigh, and she recognized me from the name on my CC, but I didn't realize it was her until I saw her name on the receipt after leaving the restaruant. The funny thing is that the guys I was eating with were talking about how hot she was.

1/26/2009 11:49:45 PM

Quote :

"so that kinda evens out the kitten killing"

no. sorry. it doesnt.

(i mean really... hiding someone elses crime "makes up for" bludgeoning a kitten to death?)



but i'm glad to see you're "not proud" of it. remorse is the correct response. i killed an animal once as a kid, in a brutal way, and it disturbs me terribly to think about it still.




[Edited on January 26, 2009 at 11:57 PM. Reason : ]

1/26/2009 11:54:31 PM

the whole bleedin out of the mouth thing still sucks to think about

[Edited on January 26, 2009 at 11:55 PM. Reason : s]

1/26/2009 11:55:26 PM

1st grade catholic school. locked the annoying girl out of the school til she cried


disclaimer: probably not the meanest...first thing i thought of though

[Edited on January 26, 2009 at 11:56 PM. Reason : .]

1/26/2009 11:55:57 PM

For a thread about the meanest thing you ever did

some of y'all are coming kinda light

bring some real drama please

no one gives a shit if you beat up your little brother

1/26/2009 11:57:16 PM

i watched my mommas porno tape and didnt rewind

[Edited on January 26, 2009 at 11:58 PM. Reason : g]

1/26/2009 11:57:56 PM

^^the average person doesn't do things THAT mean.

And something can be not-that-bad and still haunt you psychologically.

[Edited on January 26, 2009 at 11:58 PM. Reason : ]

1/26/2009 11:58:16 PM

at least give me SOMETHING

y'alls "worst of the worst" were like a regular Tuesday for me growing up

surely you all weren't perfect little angels

[Edited on January 27, 2009 at 12:00 AM. Reason : x]

1/27/2009 12:00:01 AM

dude, you've already "won". what you've got was malicious and malevolently hateful beyond anything I've got.

But to tell the truth, I've done some criminal stuff as a teen -- that i aint gonna ever admit on a public forum.

1/27/2009 12:00:21 AM

I know I've won

I just want the race for second to be interesting

1/27/2009 12:01:40 AM

ive done shit that if i would have been caught would have been felonies.

some of it was mean, some of it was indifferent.

i didnt set out to intentionally hurt my victims, but the mind of an addict is a fucked up thing to behold.

1/27/2009 12:04:34 AM

^ you can behold it by watching "trainspotting" or "fear and loathing in las vegas"

1/27/2009 12:06:08 AM

i bodied a nigga son

1/27/2009 12:07:48 AM