2

2/9/2009 10:30:18 PM

unless you were friends before the relationship.... you will NOT be friends post-relationship.

2/9/2009 10:31:37 PM

always found it ridiculous when people couldn't get over shit

nothing that happens in a damn relationship is important enough to be offended/affected for a lifetime over, unless that person killed a family member or your dog or something

2/9/2009 10:32:05 PM

2/9/2009 10:34:54 PM

it was amicable....we've chatted occasionally since the breakup, but he's married now.....


talking to an ex-fiance not such a hot idea on either of our parts

2/9/2009 10:37:35 PM

^^^
It probably depends on temperament, but for me, some things, even if they're just words, are straight-up unforgivable

2/9/2009 11:06:18 PM

i've come close to an "amicable breakup"

there is always some sort of awkwardness when running into each other or reluctance to let go- I imagine it is something that could be aided with time though

2/9/2009 11:10:08 PM

i guess my questions are two fold.

1) how can you go from sexual to nonsexual? i mean with someone that you were really intimate with and still keep up the relationship. that seems odd to me. or maybe i'm overly sexual or something

2) if you are that good of friends still, then why end the relationship? or why not try again if you have matured since?

i'm just confused by all of this.

2/9/2009 11:11:16 PM

Quote :

"1) how can you go from sexual to nonsexual? i mean with someone that you were really intimate with and still keep up the relationship. that seems odd to me. or maybe i'm overly sexual or something"

if you're able to keep up the sexual part then usually that's all there was to it anyway...

sometimes your feelings for someone just change...and when they change you no longer have that sexual feeling for them

Quote :

"2) if you are that good of friends still, then why end the relationship? or why not try again if you have matured since?"

the good friends part usually comes with time...and the maturity makes you realize that you were better off as friends anyway

[Edited on February 9, 2009 at 11:16 PM. Reason : there is a whole lot more to it than that...but that's a broad overview]



[Edited on February 9, 2009 at 11:17 PM. Reason : asdf]

2/9/2009 11:15:36 PM

so how is qntmfred taking it?

2/9/2009 11:16:45 PM

No.

2/9/2009 11:18:49 PM

Quote :

"all mine have ended in... fuck you.. no FUCK YOU!"

2/9/2009 11:20:09 PM

oh shit he knows

2/9/2009 11:20:17 PM

i guess i never really liked anyone i've broken up with that much or something. because afterwards, i just went on my merry way. and i don't even care about keeping up the relationship (like the friends relationship) which i guess suggests that there wasn't much there to begin with (like i said before). i guess i haven't broken up with someone that was actually my friend.

pretty much all we had in common was that we were dating haha

2/9/2009 11:20:33 PM

yeah...that's exactly what i meant with this post

Quote :

"now that i think about it.... a couple of them were my best friends before we dated...we dated...had nasty breakups...then after a few years we were able to be friends again... the ones i didn't know before we got together are the ones i'm not friends with anymore..."

2/9/2009 11:23:31 PM

With one major exception they have all ended pretty amicably. Many of my guy friends are guys that I dated briefly and it never worked out. The not so clean breakups were had by gentlemen i cared for more and even those have come to be good relationships because they are still people i care about.

2/10/2009 12:08:37 AM

Most of my relationships have ended in us remaining friends, though not many right after it happened.

2/10/2009 12:14:49 AM

never

i went crazy last time. like shit the bed and roll around in it crazy.

but we're friends again now.

2/10/2009 12:32:23 AM

Quote :

" 2) if you are that good of friends still, then why end the relationship? or why not try again if you have matured since?"

It's called a break up because it's broken.

Trying multiple times is exhausting... and usually ends the same way.

I have many very good friends that didn't/wouldn't make good partners.... that doesn't mean that I don't genuinely care about them as human beings - It does mean that I will not be sleeping with them.

2/10/2009 12:40:05 AM

Well, there's a little more that seperates a friend from a girlfriend/boyfriend than whether or not you're sleeping together, but otherwise, yeah.


I don't have any exes that I dislike. I have some that I'm friends with, and some that I'm just indifferent about and/or don't have contact with anymore. There are a couple that really had me (rightfully) spooled up at the time, but it's not like I still have any ill will towards them. There isn't any point...I mean, I already broke up with them. That pretty much resolves it--there isn't any point in continuing to worry about it. Sometimes that opens the door to a friendly (but platonic only) relationship.

2/10/2009 1:36:00 AM

Quote :

"billions of people it the world NEXT"

Pretty much. If someone shows me that they lack character, then I am generally done with them. No point in wasting time on someone that has proven themselves to be a shitty person.

2/10/2009 6:08:55 AM

"YOU'RE A FUCKING SELF CENTERED BITCH. HOW DARE YOU NOT WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH ME!!! FUCKING BITCH!"

::backs away slowly....::


does anyone else want to be friends with someone who talks to them like that?

not a mystery!

lol knock knock
who's there
drama llama



[Edited on February 10, 2009 at 7:13 AM. Reason : chris brown riri]

2/10/2009 7:07:51 AM

I'm friends with all of my serious exes except one that I just lost contact with over the years.

After a few months of no contact, I get over the butthurt and have no problems being friends.

I've never been one to hold grudges

2/10/2009 7:11:46 AM

>.<

[Edited on February 10, 2009 at 7:12 AM. Reason : double the fun]

2/10/2009 7:11:46 AM

Quote :

"If someone shows me that they lack character, then I am generally done with them. No point in wasting time on someone that has proven themselves to be a shitty person."

Bingo.

Quote :

"i don't care because i'm mad or something, i'm just totally neutral. i'd talk if i saw them, but if i don't, whatevs."

Same here. I wouldn't avoid my exes if I saw them, but honestly I just don't care enough about them to maintain a friendship. I'm sure at least one of my exes was really hurt by my indifference, but that's life.

Quote :

"you would be surprised at what you can get over once you've distanced yourself from the emotion of the situation... maturity and time can heal a lot of wounds"

Time does help, but if the reason you broke up with the person is because they changed, sometimes rekindling the relationship is kinda pointless. I'm not into the philosophy of making nice for the sake of making nice. It's just a lie.

2/10/2009 7:15:44 AM

all but one was amicable.

cheating skank.

2/10/2009 7:40:34 AM

The only "amicable" break up I had turns out to be the only one I don't talk to anymore.

The other two weren't "nasty", but one person definitely didn't want the break-up, which didn't make it pretty. But I'm now decent friends with both of them. And I'd say we'd probably be better friends if I didn't live far away from both of them. I think its tough to "amicable" right away if you really love the person. It's hard to detach those feelings. But I've just "hung out"/dated a few girls and have became great friends with them immediately afterwards...but there weren't those close feelings that we had to get over.

With the really close relationships you just need to give it some time...and if both are you are over it, then you can get back to trying to be friends.

2/10/2009 8:48:31 AM

some amicable, some not... it's about 50/50

regardless of how the relationship ended, I'm good friends with a handful of exes. it takes time, but my exes are some of my best friends.

2/10/2009 10:40:29 PM

Quote :

"Who's had 'em?"

myself and TennisAngel. She's going to see what Nashville is all about.

2/11/2009 12:18:27 AM

the only way the breakup is amicable is if they follow the words "I'm breaking up with you" with "but we will still have sex pretty often"

At that point, I don't care about the breakup anymore.

I know, I know. I'm shallow and superficial.

2/11/2009 1:34:59 AM

in the past they've all ended with us not talking to each other for awhile.

then after a lot of time slowly talking again.

i think i talk to maybe 4 of them now...

2/11/2009 9:26:53 AM

My ex and I broke up in April of last year, and he finally manned up and admitted to being feeling like a complete jackass for waiting so long to talk to me. Like I would walk up with a group of people, all his friends would say hello, and I'd have to single him out just to get a "hey" out of him. I had breakfast with him and one of our best friends this morning, it wasn't weird or anything.

Quote :

"2) if you are that good of friends still, then why end the relationship? or why not try again if you have matured since?"

I wonder this too. I always thought we were right for each other, we had a great relationship until things got a little rocky at the end. I certainily didn't want the breakup, but now I'm glad it happened. Sometimes I wonder what if we tried again...but then I'm like, "well, that's over and in the past. It happened, it was fun, anyway."

2/11/2009 11:16:24 AM

break up sex is usually AWESOME!!!

2/11/2009 11:22:11 AM

Quote :

"1 truly amicable one"

we still talk and email and meet up every now and then for coffee or food

2/11/2009 12:58:02 PM

I'm cool with all but 1

and that 1 stupid bitch still owes me money

2/11/2009 12:59:32 PM

^^^of course it is cause you both want each other to remember what you're losing!

2/11/2009 7:36:07 PM

never had breakup sex.

2/11/2009 7:40:02 PM

i actually haven't either so i'm just talkin out my ass when i say that

2/11/2009 7:45:44 PM