Quote :

"Lol look if u ain’t like wat u see then u could of said that or just don’t answe. we over the computer. I just wanted to get to know u like a internet buddy. When u said u steel cars I know u don’t cuz if u do that’s lame and eventually ull get caught I gave u more cridet for ya inteligents level imma stoop down to ya level the boy who lookin for a wify on my space talkin about I’m the nigga that u could take home lmao , stupid do u know wat nigga mean ignorant as I can c u r for callin ya self that u the second nigga try to violate u look ight but u to skinny that’s 1 and then u sound like u bearly made it out of high school that’s 2 imma correct u nigga phd in surgury imma stunt on ya ass now I’m 19 no kids 2 job which I’m a nurse lpn if u know the med term for that ,if u don’t ask some one and I work at oldnavy. And I look good and nigga u know it to cuz anit no body ever called me ugly so hold that fuck u slow ass down south niggas its sad son"

hahaha i like how she launched into a diatribe just like she would have in real life. i can almost envision the sassy hand movements

5/16/2009 2:21:19 PM

Quote :

"hi, whats up, so you said disneyland makes you so wet, that you love it, one day i will have my dad get tickets so me and you can go, but i just want to tell you this and it been on my mind last night, that i dream of one day me and what ever lady im with, which i hope it be you, that we go to paris and set on the paris tower and i hold that lady tight so she wont fall and we look at the bright water and see the whole city of paris and then go to out of space and see all the stars and planets, and then walk on the moon, if thats with you, would you like that, its a real dream, please send me a message, bye for now."

5/16/2009 3:11:32 PM

Quote :

"paris tower"

5/18/2009 4:01:32 PM

that one with the retarded guy made me feel horrible, though.

5/18/2009 4:03:12 PM

i dont think ive laughed so fucking hard in my god damn life

10/10

[Edited on May 18, 2009 at 4:39 PM. Reason : infinity?]

5/18/2009 4:39:01 PM

^^ Wow. They took that one down.

6/14/2009 6:17:28 PM

Quote :

"mmmmmm I love suizures "

Hilarity!!!!!!!

6/14/2009 10:59:42 PM

damn i am laughin my ass off. this is some good shit

6/14/2009 11:34:42 PM

Identity used for this conversation:

“GhettoPhresh”

Victim’s name:
Shandrel

Photo:


My message to him:
Tazsmazzles! You wanna go out for a drink some time maybe? We should hit up a club sometime and get to know each other.

His response:
LET ME KNOW WHEN…!

Me:
Never, homopants! lolololololol!

Him:
CUZZ,U GOT ME FUCC’D UP CRIP WHO THA FUCC R YOU,ANY WAY CUZZ.??
AND WHY U GOT THA HOOD ON YOUR PAGE…

Me:
I think you just showed me the keyboard equivalent to stuttering. Try again. This time make sure people can understand what the fuck you’re trying to say, honor roll.

Him:
WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU.DID YOU UNDERSTAND THAT!!I SEE YOU PUTTING THA HOOD IN THA AIR,BUT U AIN’T SAYINY SHIT!!!!


Me:
UR HOOD AINT GUT SHIT ON MY HOOD, U STUPID MOTHERFUCKER. U WOULDNT STEP U 2 SHYT, LITTLE BOY.

Him:
BITCH,U GOT ME FUCCED UP,DON’T EVEN REPLY TRAP,JUS GET OFF MYPAGE,AND STAY OFF THA SET,1ST STREET TO 190,THATS IT THAT ALL,BYE TRAP!!!!

Me:
I fucked your brother.

Him:
so!!

Me:
His dick is tiny just like yours.

Him:
I BET EVERBODY DICC IS TINY 2 UR RAT ASS!!!BUT YOU CAN ALL WAYS PUT IT IN UR MOUTH 2 MAKE IT BIGGER…WHEN U READY CUM 2 COMPTON….WE KNOW HOW 2 TREAT SLUTS LIKE U!!!U WILL HAVE A BALL OR 2….BYE TRAMP!!!!

Me:
Where in Compton? I’ll seriously come down.

Him:
DIS-KELM,I’LL MAKE IT EASY 4 U,THA COMPTON MALL…..

Me:
I’ll be there. I want your dick in my mouth. What time should we meet up?

No response.

Me:
I’m reporting you to myspace so your account gets shut down.

Him:
THATS REAL GOOD CUMING FROM A BITCH THAT TRYING 2 LOOK LIKE A GANG BANGER…GET A LIFE BITCH>>>>AND STAY OFFFFF MY PAGE…!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me:
Whatever. What good are you? I bet you can’t even rap, you dumb, down-syndrome ridden piece of shit.

Him:
ALRITE HERE’S A BAR 4 YOU…SHE’S A SLUT..THAT CAN’T GIVE ME A NUT,SHE’S A SLUT..THAT DON’T DO SHIT,OH NOTHING ASS BITCH,NEED A LIFE REAL QUICK…SHE’S A SLUT.. THAT WANT LEAVE ME ALONE
SHE’S A SLUT…OH NOTHING ASS BROKE DOWN BITCH..YOU NEED A LIFE YOU STUPID ASS TRICK……..THE NEX ONE AIN’T 4 FREE!!!!LOL…………….190NLY BITCH…EAT A DICC TRICK@ FIND SUMBODY ELSE 2 PLAY WITH….C-YA….

Me:
Golly gosh, that’s just awful. Well I bet you don’t even like grape soda.

Him:
I LUV GRAPE SODA,KOOL AID 2

Me:
Send me pictures of you drinking it while robbing a 7-11 of all their menthol Kools.

7/21/2009 2:49:30 PM

Message he sent me:
hey im in LOS ANGELES with shoots starting as low as $100 AND YOU GET THE PIX BACK THE SAME DAY contact me if you are interested…

xxx-xxx-xxxx … YOU SHOULD ALSO LEAVE YOUR CONTACT

My response:
Do you do nudes as well?

Him:
i do it all when are you thinking about

Me:
Sometime in July would be nice. I’m looking for some nude/xxx stuff for my portfolio actually.

Him:
well whats your contact

Me:
Do you also know anybody that would be available to do the shoot with me? Just simple blowjob / facial stuff. MAYBE some vaginal penetration. I haven’t decided yet. Do you know anyone? Would you be interested? I’m really looking to get my portfolio going.
-Lakendra Robinson


Him:
i know some people does their face have to show

Me:
Nope. It’s up to them really. They can wear a clown mask or soemthing if they want.

Him:
well i have someone.. or i can do the pov angle too when are you ready though .. i actually shoot alot of girls in the porn industry

Me:
Oh good. I didn’t want to scare you away before. I’m actually looking to do a shoot with some kinky stuff in there. Like gets some shots with me doing some glass bottom boatride or maybe a Milwaukee MeatRaffle.

Him:
thats a lil out there dont knw who you can get for tht

Me:
Well don’t worry about it. If worse comes to worse and you can’t find anybody I can just bring my ferrets to the shoot. They’re shaved now so cleanup is WAY easier. So what are your rates typically?

Him:
well i have this special till the 1st if you are interested leave me your contact or call me xxx-xxx-xxxx
50 pictures - 1 Outfits (includes 2 images with Master retouching)$100 (IN STUDIO ONLY)

100 pictures - 2 Outfits (includes 4 images with Master retouching)$200 (STUDIO OR ON LOCATION)

150 pictures - 3 Outfits (includes 6 images with Master retouching)$275 (STUDIO OR ON LOCATION)

200 pictures - 4 Outfits (includes 8 images with Master retouching)$350 (STUDIO OR ON LOCATION)

250 pictures - 5 Outfits (includes 10 images with Master retouching)$400 (STUDIO OR ON LOCATION)

and you get all the photos that day on a cd (with any packag

Me:
Dammmmmmmn. That’s not bad. But now I’m thinking I might need help putting the ferrets in mah booty. If I chipped in a bit extra paper do thinks a sista could get a hand wit dat? (or a fist)

Him:
what im not understanding is why wouldnt you just want to go with something simple

Me:
Well I already HAVE the ferrets

Him:
I dont’ think we’ll be able to work together.

Me:
Whatever, virgin.

9/8/2009 9:19:24 AM

Me:
So would you want to meet up sometime and make out? I have a milkcrate full of mousetraps and a fireman’s helmet filled with poptarts. I’m thinking it’s time to play poptrap. You in? Just make sure you’re wearing a baseball uniform.

9/8/2009 10:55:24 PM

Identity used for this conversation:

“HollaDaddy”

Victim’s name:
Denise

Photo:

My Message to her:
sup hot thang? wuts poppin?
Jamal

Her response:
Heyy.. Not much I’m Denise by the way.. What’s uppp

Me:
mah dik now that i looked ur pictures. ur finnnne gurl. so wut u lyke to do for fun?
Holla

Her:
oh well thanks haha..
I like to do lots of stuff like go to the mall go club

Me:
the same mostly. i reaaaally love watching children die. i also spend a couple nights a week helping out at the community center. feels good to do my part.

Her:
you love watching children die????????????


Me:
wut? no. OHHHHH whoops that was a typo. sry
wut do u lyke 2 do furfun? im jus a chill dude mostly. jus tryin 2 make my way in the world. how about u? u seem nyce.

holla

Her:
Well I already told u but pretty much anything I feel like doing.. Me I jus wna be a music producer I love music alot!!!!!

Me:
oh that sounds nyce. r u plannin on goin to school for it?

Her:
Yes i wna transfer to musicians university in LA so I can get in depth education In music n have good hands on practice in it.. What about you?

Me:
I like watching children die.

Her:
what do you mean die?????

Me:
sry my keyboard keeps sticking. i lyke helping them out at tha community center. do my part.

Her:
oh ok!

Me:
yeah… by watching them die.

Her:
by die what do you mean?????

Me:
oops. i mean tutoring.

Her:
oh are you sure tutoring and not die????
how old are you?

Me:
haha of course, silly. I’m 21. How about you?

Her:
okay jus making sure…im 20!

Me:
Oh sounds good.
At any rate, we should definitely meet up and make some kids together. I know how to make chocolate milk so I know I’d make a great dad… until they died at least.

Her:
i dont want kids! im adopting….they died??huh??

Me:
What? Adopting? That’s sick. How could you watch someone else’s baby die?

Her:
yeah im gna adopt…what i never said i like watching sommeone elses baby die? you said you’d “make a great dad..until they died at least” i dont get tht

Me:
sry. i need 2 get a new keyboard. this 1 is messed up.
so how long does it take to go thru skool at musicians institute? i wish i could do something interestin lyke dat

Her:
well depends you could do the summer program or if u jus want a certificate for whatever your studying is shorter than if u plan on getting a bachelors degree there which would be probably 2 to 3 years..it all jus depends on what you’re majoring in and what program you’re gna do..you could do something like tht if you really wanted to..do you go to school?

Me:
oh nice. I was doing some college, but wasnt feelin tha school i was at. need to transfer somewhere else. def need to figure out wut i want 2 do tho.
so u said u lyke music. wut kind of music r u into? i def want 2 no more about u. u seem nyce.

Her:
oh ok..what school were you going to? i like all kinds of music i love underground hip hop r&b rap pop reggae house music pretty much anything from wutang to bob marley chris brown biggie rihanna mmm ill listen to like marilyn manson n the cure stuff like tht too anything thts good.. i love listen to chris brown alot tho he’s my hubby!

Me:
aight gurl aight. that soounds fly. what i lyke 2 listen to though is CHILDREN GETTING FUCKING DEAD.

Her:
im getting creeped out! you like to listen to children getting dead???? im over this…

Me:
how should i start looking for schools? i def want to get going for the fall. education is important to me.

Her:
oh idk depends what youre planning on studying..you know what if u like listening to children die like u said in ur last message i dnt wna talk to you..thts fkn creppy and strange!

Me:
Listen to me very carefully now…

Her:
what?

Me:
I want you to touch yourself for me. And I want you to think of Tom Selleck making out with Charles S Dutton in a haunted house while you do it.

Her:
wtf!!!! yeah no thts fkn weirddd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me:
You’re the one who likes watching children die and you think THAT’S weird?

Her:
i dont like watching children die youre the one tht kept saying it n i kept asking you if thts what you liked doing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i would never like to do something like tht!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me:
What? Now you’re getting me and you confused. I’m the one going to musician’s university to make something of my life and all you talk about is kids having sex with horseclowns and getting doped up in barber shops.

Her:
fuck you you fkn creep !!!!! you have fkn problems….im deleting your ass!

Me:
But I think I’m in love with you. It’s destiny.

4/9/2010 1:44:52 PM

ahaha. well played.

4/9/2010 1:49:43 PM

Mr. Joshua, I ♥ you for introducing me to this. I know I'm [late] but it's a good thing you bttt'd.

4/9/2010 2:01:38 PM

i want my two minutes back for reading that.

4/9/2010 2:13:56 PM

You could have stopped reading at any time. I refuse to refund any more than one minute.

4/9/2010 3:20:10 PM

pls to explain the site.

4/9/2010 3:24:30 PM

fresh gurl... dats so nice....

4/9/2010 3:24:46 PM

^^

Quote :

"There is a huge population of people trying to make themselves look like gangsters and thugs while talking in fabricated words and taking shirtless pictures of themselves in their bathrooms with camera phones. Fat 19-year-old’s with half a dozen children that they dress up like dolls keep trying to talk to me as if I think they are human beings. I’ve decided to go undercover and infiltrate their community by acting as one of their own. This site represents the the results of my experiment."

4/9/2010 3:26:15 PM

u seem nyce

4/9/2010 6:32:11 PM

^ AYY BABII WUTZ YO $IGN!?

4/9/2010 6:40:35 PM

Quote :

"Prove that it wasn’t your girlfriend in the last message by sending me a video of you crushing her face in with a brick."

and

Quote :

" Me: I like watching children die. Her: what do you mean die????? Me: sry my keyboard keeps sticking. i lyke helping them out at tha community center. do my part. Her: oh ok! Me: yeah… by watching them die. Her: by die what do you mean????? Me: oops. i mean tutoring. "

Both had me LOLing all over the place.

4/9/2010 6:58:24 PM

Identity used for this conversation:

“GhettoPhresh”

Victim’s name:
King Beats

Photo:


My message to him:
sup chuchaman. wuts snappin?

His response:
nuthyn much mama juz n da studio puttin n work…watz good wit yu???
**King**

Me:
n da studio? are you a painter?
Lakendra

Him:
hell tu da fuck naw lol..yu aint check out my page n see wat it iz i do???…Imma music producer,and finna b a new music icon this year..I do music mama

Me:
You should take up painting. I just listened to all your music and it sucks.

Him:
yu out yo rabbit azz mind..Your da *1zt* n da history of life who *EVER SAID DAT*..N it muzt not suck all dat bad when the studio im n is a multi dollar recording studio..It muzt not suck all dat bad if im working on projects for the same artist you lliike…Juz watch wat happenz here inna few n you’ll see exactly wat im talkin bout..N if yu still say it suckz your a hata..But eitha way i love it eitha way it goes
**King**


Me:
im jus playin dawg. but a multi dollar studio doesn’t sound too bad. I can usually find a couple dollars in change in mah couch cushuns.
ps. I’m on my period and it looks like mashed up cherries

Him:
thanx ma…lol but damn dat sound good at alll….but get at me weneva…don’t b a stranga
**King**

Some time passes.

Me:
hey im on my period again and it looks like cherries again and i thot of u. u wanna kik it sumtime an get ur red wings?

No response.

Me:
Fine, fuck yourself you piece of shit little dick faggot.

Him:
Bitch shut up n stay da fuck off my page..you on yo period dat soundz liike a nazty azz hoe 2 me…Shitty Boo Boo azz brawd

Me:
HOW DARE YOU CALL ME A BO BOO AZZ BRAWD. No seriously tho, im not on my period ne more if u wanna kik it. where u stay at again? I want u 2 woo with tales of how u think ur a musik producer

Him:
Fuc u

6/24/2010 10:44:32 PM

for your own personal pleasure, this is the only topic in my topics.

when i need the lulz, i bring this thread up.

6/24/2010 10:46:17 PM

Identity used for this conversation:

“GhettoPhresh”

Victim’s name:
J EaZy

Photo:


Message he sent me:
HEY CUTIE!!! JUSS CAME BY 2 SHO SUM LUV GET AT ME WHEN YOU GET THA CHANCE….

My response:
sup playa. how u do? tha name’s lakendra

Him:
nice 2 meehcha Lakendra….im Jarone. so are you in colorado?

Me:
was. im bak in vegas now tho

Him:
so whats good wit u. do u work or skool? bf? hit me bacc

Me:
im jus workin rite now. and nope no bf. how bout u? do u have a bf?


Him:
i work n skool…i go 2 NVU to become a aircraft tech…im single and no kids….u seem real coo Lakendra…whats ur number so we can finish dis convo lata?

Me:
oh nyce. i rode on a airplane once

Him:
yup…so do u have a phone number?

Me:
I never rode on a helicopter tho

Him:
i guess you just gonna ignore me

Me:
im here playa. wassup. so why no helicopters?

Him:
id ASK FOR YO PHONE NUMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and its aircraft….so that includes heli’s too

Me:
lol sorry im stupid.

Him:
SO I GUESS YOU AREN’T GONNA GIVE ME YO NUMBER, RIGHT?

Me:
I’d rather chat online. If we talked on the phone I’m fairly sure you’d figure out that I’m really a dude.

Him:
you a dude? what!!! you don’t look like one

Me:
This is just a fake profile. I’m really a white dude with a sexy beard.

Me:
Did you still want to chat? I still think you’re pretty sexy. RAWR

6/24/2010 10:53:58 PM

trying to decipher this is seriously making me go

6/24/2010 10:59:34 PM

Identity used for this conversation:

“GhettoPhresh”

Victim’s name:
Money Man

Photo:

Message he sent me:
hi whats good with you?

My response:
nuttin much playa. wuts good wit chu?

Him:
im chillen boo.are u single?

Me:
i am single. u?

Him:
yeah im single baby.hit me up k xxx-xxx-xxxx

Me:
wut do u mean hit uup?


Him:
call me

Me:
wuts ur number?
Lakendra

Him:
xxx-xxx-xxxx im devon k boo

Me:
sounds gud. wuts ur number?

Him:
xxx-xxx-xxxx whats yours im devon by the way

Me:
My name’s Lakendra. u sound like fun. we shuld def chill at some point. can i call u?

Him:
yea baby.when u wana chill?

Me:
whenever u want to babe. wuts ur name?

Him:
im devon call me asap

Me:
wuts ur number? i’ll give u a call.

Him:
xxx-xxx-xxxx

Me:
sounds good. when r u free to call?

Him:
now

Me:
mmm i cant wait. wuts ur numbar?

Him:
xxx-xxx-xxxx

Me:
should I call you or should you call me?

Him:
u call me

Me:
ok sounds gud wuts ur #?

Him:
xxx-xxx-xxxx

Me:
sounds good. u free 2nite?

Him:
yup im free whenever baby r u a freak

Me:
aight aight. u shuld call me.

Him:
whats ya number boo

Me:
actually my fones not acceptin incomin calls rite now cuz its fukked up. ill jus call u if dats cool? wuts ur number?

Him:
ok xxx-xxx-xxxx

Me:
wuts ur name so i know who im tawkin 2 sexxi?

Him:
my name is devon baby whats your name beautiful?

Me:
my name’s lakendra, hot thang. can i call u?

Him:
yeah i told u like 10 times call me

Me:
ok i think i hav ur number. wuts ur name tho?

Him:
devon,devon,devon,devon

Me:
im lakendra. ill try givin u a call now b.

Me:
i jus tried ur number but it wasnt workin. r u sure u gave me the rite one?

Him:
yea xxx-xxx-xxxx or xxx-xxx-xxxx

Me:
xxx-xxx-xxxx xxx-xxx-xxxx thas too many numbers. i think a regular phone number is only 9 numbers.

Me:
r u going 2 answer me? I thought u wanted me 2 call you. if u cant figure out how to give out ur number properly, then no pussy 4 u, idiot

5/13/2011 4:31:12 PM

"Ok, what's your number?"

I LOL'd at that

5/13/2011 4:41:45 PM

Somehow black people make this more entertaining than Pikey's fake dating profile

http://brentroad.com/message_topic.aspx?topic=612789

5/13/2011 4:44:32 PM

what is this afro-robe&wizard hat?

5/13/2011 5:40:41 PM

hahahahaha still funny

5/13/2011 6:51:37 PM

hahahahhahaha shit how did i never see this before?

5/13/2011 8:49:40 PM

sooooo funny.... more plz

5/13/2011 10:11:46 PM

^^

This shit is hilar! I need more

[Edited on May 13, 2011 at 10:28 PM. Reason : funnies]

5/13/2011 10:26:34 PM

haha yes I totally missed this

damn good times

5/13/2011 11:07:30 PM

Same here, how did I miss this? Immediately add to my topics. The sammich one from page 1 was gold...I mean "dat sammich shiz be BAK at da furst part be stAIT up chill mama"

5/13/2011 11:34:45 PM

Wow that shyt iz soopidd

5/13/2011 11:41:19 PM

thumbs up!
this one had me rolling

Quote :

"Me: What? Now you’re getting me and you confused. I’m the one going to musician’s university to make something of my life and all you talk about is kids having sex with horseclowns and getting doped up in barber shops."

5/14/2011 12:34:17 AM

So which one is Ryan Harrow?

5/14/2011 1:01:29 AM

entirely new levels of turrible!

5/14/2011 1:21:51 AM

Quote :

"imma give u a ring tomorrow den, cutie. copkillah n me are gunna cum 2 yer house n fuck u hard. then we’s gunna cut up ya face and burn ur house down."

5/14/2011 1:51:22 PM

Identity used for this conversation:

“GhettoPhresh”

Victim’s name:
THUG

Photo:


Message he sent me:
WAT UP SEXY…HJOW U BEEN???

My response:
i been gud. how u been?

Him:
I BEEN OK JUS CHILLIN…BEIN BORED AS FUCK

Me:
ur picture looks hawt. no offens but u look like california

Him:
LMAO…I AM CALIFORNIA

Me:
oh yea? well im da paficic ocean cuz im all ova u rubbin up against ya side


Him:
LOL HELL YEA

Him:
WELL…IF DA PACIFIC OCIAN DNT GOT A SHARK IN IT…THEN CAN CALI GET DA NUMBER???

Me:
I love geography roleplay. If if I were to say I’m Michigan and I’m thirsty for cum, what would your response be, daddi?

Him:
LOL IDK

Me:
The correct answer is smack me around and pull out my hair until I achieve orgasm.

Him:
LOL THAT’LL WORK

Me:
I love it when my pimps cut me with broken bottles and unleash diseased raccoons on me during coitus.

Him:
WOA

Me:
That’s right, California. You ain’t got shit on me.

5/16/2011 3:18:43 PM

LOL THAT'LL WORK

I love this thread

5/16/2011 3:20:31 PM

Quote :

"DA PACIFIC OCIAN"

5/16/2011 3:20:41 PM

site is down

6/10/2011 4:16:06 PM

6/10/2011 4:17:21 PM

ttt, B.

1/3/2012 4:38:29 PM

see what had happon was that i only scanned his topics that were more than 3 pages long

and i missed the gold


[Edited on January 3, 2012 at 4:44 PM. Reason : e]

1/3/2012 4:42:56 PM

lol, I just lost it at the watching children die one

1/3/2012 5:49:18 PM

God this site has me laughing so hard I have trouble catching my breath.

I forgot how much of a master troll artist this guy is...

1/3/2012 6:10:56 PM