2

6/18/2009 2:13:36 PM

If I was a downy I'd get a megaphone and announce everyone's orders like the Old Chicago Bulls Starting lineup

6/18/2009 2:14:18 PM

Hahaha, SUPERBAR

That was the greatest. I was quite sad when it went away.

6/18/2009 2:14:39 PM

Quote :

"Dr. Pepper"

6/18/2009 2:14:40 PM

Quote :

"I stopped at the gas station this morning to buy myself an orange juice. Decided on Everfresh, "pure 100% orange juice" it said, right there on the label. Glass bottle. Looked like good stuff. I used to be a really picky eater. I decided I'd try to get over it, and part of getting over it was learning to love pulp in my orange juice. We all know about pulp. I see some heads nodding out there. Let me tell you the secret about pulp: no one really likes it. No one PREFERS pulp. You ever seen someone turn down pulp-free orange juice? Fuck no you haven't. "Oh, none for me, thanks. I like a little pulp." You can't even SAY that word without feeling a little hate for it. "Pulp." No one turns down pulp-free. They don't make little accessory packs of pulp to pour into your pulp-free. It's not like iced tea, there aren't any pink or blue packets of pulp to pour in there. But pulp does one thing well, and that thing is that pulp tells you your orange juice is natural. Pulp shows you that, fuck, there was an orange involved in the process somewhere along the way. And we've all seen oranges, right? There's pulp in there, oh yeah. That's why you don't eat them, am I right? The only kids you ever saw eating oranges in school were the ones who couldn't afford apples. The kids who got free lunch. They had to settle. But this Everfresh I got, it's got this new thing. Okay, well, I guess it's been a part of oranges for hundreds of years or whatever, but it's new to me. It's new to me in my fucking juice, all right? PIFF. That's right, PIFF. A word—I don't know how they did it, but a word that is somehow even more hateful than pulp. Can you believe that? Say it, you'll wanna choke the guy next to you. PIFF. But this piff, it's that white stuff in the orange. It's the stuff—this is even worse than the pulp, this piff is the stuff that holds the pulp together. It's totally sub-pulp. If there were a caste system in your orange, if this orange that went in my bottle of juice here was India, pulp would be like sudras, and piff would be the fucking Dalit fucking achuta untouchables. Piff...pulp won't even TALK to piff. Pulp avoids eye contact with piff, tries to hurry out of the restaurant before piff sees it and comes over to its table. So I've got this white shit, this PIFF, sitting in this bottle of otherwise delicious (if pulpy) orange juice, and what am I gonna do? I can't drink it, 'cause the piff is touching it, but to throw out a good quarter of a bottle of juice? Maybe I should send it in for a refund. That should go over, shouldn't it? "I'll put up with pulp, but you've gone too far with the piff." Listen to me, this is absurd. This is absurd comedy. Pulp, piff, these nonsense words. These absurd words. Is this thing on? Hello? Hello? PIFF. Have you seen this?"

6/18/2009 2:16:12 PM

FROM THE DEPTHS OF THE ARCTIC, MAIN COURSE

PREMIUM

FIIISH

FILLLEEEEEEEEEEEEETTT

6/18/2009 2:16:55 PM

ewww i hate piff

6/18/2009 2:18:04 PM

i thought it was going to be the picture of the guy with mustard all over him

6/18/2009 2:18:35 PM

PIFF

God I hate piff.

6/18/2009 2:24:53 PM

holy god i love you

[Edited on June 18, 2009 at 2:39 PM. Reason : qntmfred]

6/18/2009 2:35:25 PM

what a pithy story

6/18/2009 2:46:06 PM

Clearly, you were not around for the actual thread.

6/18/2009 2:46:26 PM

hahaha, I had totally forgotten about the SUPERBAR until I read this thread

6/18/2009 3:04:47 PM

I was going to resurrect this thread in order to post a slightly more recent (2012) story about an exchange at Taco Bell, but I find I can't clearly remember the details.

Basically, I went to the drive-thru intending to try one of those horrifying Doritos tacos. I asked the girl over the speaker whether they had Coke Zero, and she said they didn't, so I ordered fuck knows whatever.

When I pulled around, she gave me my food and all that, and she asked me what Coke Zero was. This girl asked me what Coke Zero was.

"Oh, it's like a zero-calorie Coke, tastes better than Diet Coke."

"Wow," she said, "maybe we should get that!"

2/4/2013 7:05:14 AM

Fuck a square burger.

That's what I say.

2/4/2013 11:37:52 AM

I hate how Wendy's changed the price of the JBC to a $1.29 a while ago

2/4/2013 12:12:07 PM

I like getting the extra a square burger gets you over round. I get to nom the corners off.

2/4/2013 12:36:13 PM

I hate the new Wendy's commercials.

"Incoming, hehe!"

2/4/2013 12:37:41 PM

2/4/2013 12:47:58 PM

I'm happy the Cod Fillet is back

I may be the only one, but that sammich is goot!

2/4/2013 12:50:43 PM

what? i've had no idea.

2/4/2013 12:52:08 PM

2/4/2013 12:56:22 PM

Last time I remember going to Wendy's, it was right after a bus of indecisive kids got in line. I just waited patiently, when the teacher paying turned around and noticed me. She said I could go ahead and skip everyone and place my order. So I did. But the kids still stood at the counter, as did the teacher, so I was kinda stuck ordering by leaning around the corner where the cashier was.

So this buck-toothed cashier snorts at me, almost spraying a little spit into the air, "Ha ha. You're funny." And then looks away. I was confused, because I was sure she heard the teacher tell me to go ahead and cut in. "Don't you see there is a line?" Then she turned and walked away. Her face looked pretty confused when I was still there when she returned, as I tried to explain that I was invited to cut in line. Evidently, it's such a rare occurrence for people placing gigantic orders to let others slip between that this person had no comprehension of what could have been happening. Fortunately, the teacher also spoke up and told her she told me to come up and order.

Why she no customer service?

2/4/2013 1:18:01 PM

Because she gets minimum wage and doesn't give a fuck.

2/4/2013 3:40:20 PM

Quote :

"I hate how Wendy's changed the price of the JBC to a $1.29 a while ago "

I hate how they changed the value nuggets from 5 piece to 4 piece

2/4/2013 3:45:37 PM

Yes! Those mutha fuckas!

2/4/2013 3:48:45 PM

Man, we were coming back from the Outer Banks a couple years ago and decided to stop at the Taco Bell. I went up to the counter and placed my order.

Now, most Taco Bells I ever been to, they will call your order number at the counter when your food is ready. Sometimes, they call out what you ordered.

But this lady at this Taco Bell asked for my name. "Why do you need my name?" I asked her.

"So we can call you when your order is ready," she explained.

Fine, okay. "Jonathan," I said.

"How do you spell it?" she asked.

And I'm fuckin' flabbergasted by this. I said, "What difference does it make?"

And she goes, "What?"

And I'm like what difference does it make? You're going to call my name. You're not going to call "Jonathan, J-O-N-A-T-H-A-N." You're just going to say Jonathan. There are four people in the store. What difference does it make?

What the fuck difference did it make?

3/30/2018 9:30:59 AM

they spit in your food

3/30/2018 9:43:51 AM

Impossible. They can't dispense spit from a caulk gun.

3/30/2018 9:52:16 AM

Quote :

""Why do you need my name?" I asked her."

3/30/2018 11:09:18 AM

You can ask a question out of curiosity, my dude. I wasn't aggro about it.

3/30/2018 11:12:12 AM

Just seems like it would be obvious as to why she would ask your name

3/30/2018 11:31:52 AM

It wasn't.

3/30/2018 1:07:34 PM

FYI they ask for your name at Taco Bell now and have for a few years. Just tell them your name is froshkiller.

3/30/2018 1:17:40 PM

It is obvious

and, cool story bro

3/30/2018 1:24:07 PM