POSTED ON THE SECOND PAGE OF A NOOB SEX THREAD

8/31/2009 11:42:47 PM

I don't remember a time when I really got embarrassed having sex. But one time I walked around the corner and grabbed my wife's ass and said one of those things you only say when you don't think anyone but her can hear you, something like "Oh yeah! that ass!" in a kind of weird voice. then I noticed she was on the phone with a headset, with her mom, who hates me and definitely heard it.

8/31/2009 11:57:43 PM

^rofl

9/1/2009 7:15:40 PM

I'm embarrassed to say that I have had sex with a 35 year old woman while being a 25 year old.

9/1/2009 7:41:51 PM

Broke the bf's bed one night when I was on top.

9/1/2009 7:58:25 PM

^ PM sent.

9/1/2009 7:59:52 PM

Quote :

"One time I stuck a finger in my ex's butt. Later she started to suck on it and immediately gagged. And then I remembered where it had been. Good times. "

i liked this one the most, followed by jens post on throwing up on her bfs belly and then khcadwal talking about getting a cup in the middle of sex0r

9/1/2009 8:08:19 PM

the one about getting shit on their chest i think wins

this one:

Quote :

"One of my ex's was on top with my dick in her ass and the pullout left something on my chest. She bare handed it and took off running to the bathroom. "

[Edited on September 1, 2009 at 8:12 PM. Reason : lol]

9/1/2009 8:12:20 PM

you never see shit on a dick when fucking anally in porn but i wondered in real life if that happens

9/1/2009 8:17:26 PM

it can happen

9/1/2009 8:18:05 PM

it never happened

9/1/2009 8:21:55 PM

I personnally am not into entering the exit door.

9/1/2009 8:22:00 PM

it is the sole reason i'm not obsessed with anal porn (unlike most guys)

9/1/2009 8:24:03 PM

Oral sex however yield profits galore for both parties...

9/1/2009 8:26:10 PM

I picked up a prostitute.

9/1/2009 8:27:33 PM

^ Details?

9/1/2009 8:39:17 PM

Quote :

"it is the sole reason i'm not obsessed with anal porn"

i don't particularly care to watch it. watching some chick get gapped is nasty.

but i loved to stick it in there when i could. i've almost forgot what it was like -- my wife won't put up with that shit.

9/1/2009 10:05:47 PM

^^I was driving down the road and this girl waves at me so I pull up next to her honestly thinking she knows me or I know her but I can't make out her face until I get right up next to her. I don't know her and she asks "Can I get a ride?" So I'm like sure because she was pretty cute actually. Then she said "do you have any crack?" to which I replied "No but I have money." and the rest is history.

[Edited on September 1, 2009 at 10:33 PM. Reason : ^^]

9/1/2009 10:33:25 PM

Hahahahaha!

9/1/2009 10:34:22 PM

Quote :

"my wife won't put up with that shit."

Intentional puns is punny.
...Or shitty.

9/1/2009 10:36:41 PM

yeah i too kinda lol'ed at that for the pun aspect of it

9/1/2009 10:37:44 PM

TURBO PUNS.

9/1/2009 10:38:22 PM

.

7/10/2010 2:02:59 AM

7/10/2010 2:04:37 AM

i messed on my favorite sweater

7/10/2010 2:55:11 AM

Quote :

"I'm embarrassed to say that I have had sex with a 35 year old woman while being a 25 year old."

Meh, I banged a 43 year old mayor of a small city that I will conveniently leave the name out of when I was 27. She needed it badz0rs after getting out of an 18 year marriage.

Separate incident:

I guess I was embarrassed when I was having drunk sex and fell asleep with me inside her. We slept like that all night long lawls.

[Edited on July 10, 2010 at 3:34 AM. Reason : .]

7/10/2010 3:34:36 AM

this thread really excludes a LOT of Tdubbers

because it assumes they've had sex more than once

7/10/2010 10:16:40 AM

probably when I brought a girl home and my roommate pounded on my door because he heard screams and assumed that somebody from the party next door had broken in and was using my room, not even bothering to consider that I might be the one who was having sex in my room

but it wasn't that embarrassing, tho...I sorta fall under ^

7/10/2010 1:14:29 PM

My fiancee and I (at the time she was my gf) were having sex after being out partying. Needless to say I was drunk and in the middle of sex I decided to tell her she was hot but it came out as "you are such a hot piece of shit." She looked at my like uh what?! and said just shut up and hurry up. We are getting married in April. haha

7/10/2010 3:47:05 PM

about the only thing I can come up with was this girl I had been sleeping with for a couple of months and I finally going out on a date...we went to see a movie at the Crossroads 20 in Cary. She gave fantastic head, and was always eager to do so. She ended up giving me a blow job during the movie, and took her mouth off of the hose and looked up at me at [i]exactly[i] the wrong time. I came like a fountain all over her face and hair before she could get her mouth back on it and take the rest.

...and, like, we're in a movie theater, you know? We're trying to be at least slightly discrete, and it's not like we have a towel or anything handy. I think I gave her my jacket or something, haha.

7/10/2010 5:24:47 PM