2

6/1/2010 3:07:48 PM

page two requests a more complete view of God's butt.

6/1/2010 3:11:42 PM

it helps if you don't shave your ass using a dirty razor

6/1/2010 3:12:30 PM

^^ dude do you realize how hard it was to take the first pic? I'm in the handicap stall of my work bathroom

6/1/2010 3:15:13 PM

You were in there with your pants down, tapping your foot by the neighboring stall, weren't you?

6/1/2010 3:16:59 PM

wat

6/1/2010 3:17:37 PM

NOTICEABLY WIDE STANCE

[Edited on June 1, 2010 at 3:18 PM. Reason : E]

6/1/2010 3:17:59 PM

^^


[Edited on June 1, 2010 at 3:21 PM. Reason : haha, yeah, gotta have that "wide stance" to take a dump.]

6/1/2010 3:19:46 PM

Quote :

"dude do you realize how hard it was to take the first pic? I'm in the handicap stall of my work bathroom"

moon the mirror.

6/1/2010 3:26:39 PM

and then someone walks in and wont THAT be awkward

6/1/2010 3:42:35 PM

It's not what it looks like! I'm taking a picture of this boil on my ass to post on the internet.

Wait, I mean, it's not like that, either!

Fuck.

6/1/2010 3:44:57 PM

surely you can be discreet.

6/1/2010 3:48:04 PM

O...M....G....

OK....thank you to all who referred patient God to me.

Now not knowing all the details of this 'bump' makes diagnosing and treating a tad difficult so answer some questions for me:

1) Does the bump feel as though it goes deep into your skin?
2) Do you feel like it is like a ball or can you just feel the top of it?
3) Is this a new bump?
4) Does it hurt to touch or does it just hurt when you put pressure on it (like when you sit down)?

6/1/2010 4:44:53 PM

1) It's about a 50mm thick

2) Yes. There's a noticeable mass under the skin.

3) As of 24 hours

4) Is there a difference? It hurts when it gets touched or bumped.

6/1/2010 4:48:10 PM

staph infection.

you need antibiotics.

6/1/2010 4:50:07 PM

How the fuck does that just happen? There was no trauma to the area.

6/1/2010 4:51:09 PM

Sterilize a push-pin...clean the area...lance it...squeeze it. Use channel-locks if you need to.

[Edited on June 1, 2010 at 4:51 PM. Reason : ^ Oh, like we believe THAT.]

6/1/2010 4:51:29 PM

God got a staphy butt

6/1/2010 4:51:48 PM

OK....here's what you should do...and while I respect my colleague (H8R's) opinion I think there is no need to jump to the antibiotics just yet...unless you have other symptoms such as a fever etc....

Now....sometimes things just happen. But before I recommend my treatment I need to know if you are going to be able to take video of it. Preferably in high def but at least not from a cell phone. Will you be able to do this?

6/1/2010 4:53:42 PM

God damn

it's like Optimum and M2c are both waiting with their respective pants down

I feel weird

6/1/2010 4:54:56 PM

Quote :

"Staphylococcal infections should be contagious and can be transmitted from person to person."

http://www.medicinenet.com/staph_infection/article.htm

6/1/2010 4:55:11 PM

))<>((

6/1/2010 4:57:43 PM

^^^ I'm over it. You took too long.

6/1/2010 4:58:39 PM

God...I live for this sort of thing. However, it should be known that there I do not experience any sexual arousal from these types of things so my pants are indeed still up.

6/1/2010 5:03:06 PM

disgusting freaks ITT

6/1/2010 5:03:23 PM

you can call me whatever you want....just as long as you video tape it

6/1/2010 5:04:52 PM

you are manifesting a third cheek

it occurs in 0.00046% of the global population

6/1/2010 5:05:20 PM

hot compress

6/1/2010 5:05:52 PM

You people better not ruin this for me

6/1/2010 5:07:13 PM

i'm with mytwocents on this one

if you fuckers solve this bump in a way that doesn't involve a video camera and something sharp i will hate you forever

6/1/2010 5:12:54 PM

cut it off with a knife

6/1/2010 5:36:45 PM

See a fucking dermatologist.

They'll sterilize the area, lance it, drain it, put a sterile bandage on there, send a sample of the drainage off to a lab for a culture and they'll tell you if you've got anything sketchy going on.

6/1/2010 5:51:19 PM

Sir, we'll have your ass juice analyzed straightaway.

6/1/2010 5:54:02 PM

^^ but that's not nearly as exciting and costs money

6/1/2010 5:59:54 PM

It's an abscess/boil... I had one just under the front of my knee (I noticed it when I was re-insulating the crawl space in the attic, having pressure on my left knee was extremely painful); it actually turned out to be a staph infection. Take a wash cloth and soak it in uncomfortably warm water... then hold that on your butt for a while. That will allow what pus (doesn't seem like it's that much) to surface. Then take a pin or sewing needle and poke the pore or center of the irritation (don't gouge it) and press all the pus out. Put hydrogen peroxide on the open (and partially clean) to get rid of the rest of the pus. Then grab yo'self a band-aid and put some antibiotic ointment on it. Then take painkillers if it actually hurts (enough to cause [user]Black Dog[/user] amounts of weak pain) and actual antibiotics. If it gets bigger, check that shit with your doctor for staph (and MRSA) because that shit can get nasty.

[Edited on June 1, 2010 at 6:08 PM. Reason : ]

6/1/2010 6:08:11 PM

smell the ass juice when it comes out

6/1/2010 7:35:52 PM

Again....I say....the most important thing to remember about ALL OF THIS, is that a MRSA will be the least of your problems if you do any of this without getting it on video. TY

6/1/2010 7:41:18 PM

why doesn't mytwocents just do it for him?

6/1/2010 7:42:42 PM

Cause I'm too far away

6/1/2010 8:11:55 PM

I squeezed it and just clear liquid came out with a little blood. And it hurts like FUCK.

I'll try the hot washcloth. How long do I need to hold it on there for?

6/1/2010 10:46:17 PM

Clear liquid and a little bit of blood means you haven't done anything to the actual 'bump'. Just so you know, a good deal of the pain associated with getting rid of these things has to do with your skin actually splitting when it tears open. Here's what you should do...use the hot compress for a few hours. Then you need to sterilize a needle and penetrate the ACTUAL pocket of puss, not just your skin...

Again, all this is MOOT if no video is taken.

6/2/2010 1:27:41 AM

^

6/2/2010 2:21:32 AM

Quote :

"POCKET OF PUSS"

note, puss != pus

6/2/2010 3:35:06 AM

Don't fuck around with this.

$10 says it's MRSA.

6/2/2010 7:08:58 AM

it's not MRSA

6/2/2010 7:12:56 AM

maybe it's a tumor

6/2/2010 7:50:09 AM

IT'S NOT A TUMAH

6/2/2010 7:54:54 AM

Or maybe karma is literally biting him on the ass.

6/2/2010 7:55:44 AM

Quote :

"Don't pop or you'll leave craters."

Truth. I had a boil on my upper thigh a few years ago and I let it go for a week (thought it was just a bug bite that would go away). Woke up one morning and couldn't bend/move my leg. Went to ER. They lanced it to drain it. They also cleaned the puss out. Now I have a huge crater on my thigh

6/2/2010 7:56:28 AM

Quote :

"All I have here are push pins. I don't want a staph infection! "

it already is a localized staph infection.

thats what pimples are.........staph. staph lives on EVERYONE's skin.

doesnt necessarily mean its MRSA for pete's sake. However if you use a community gym and you didnt sanitize your equipment before using it...........thats a great way to pick up MRSA.


as mentioned hot compresses........as hot as you can stand it. Try adding a fair amount of epsom salt to the hot water.

Keep an eye on it. if it gets larger or you develop a fever... get the to your family doctor. They can lance small boils.


also about 95% of "suspected" spider bites are really staph infections.


if you are going to be brave, dumb, etc and attempt to lance your own boils.............at least go buy some hibiclens to scrub the area down before you poke yourself............and put some polysporin on it when you finish.......

BIG DISCLAIMER
just know that when you squeeze a boil you could be forcing the bacteria DEEPER into your subcutaneous tissue which can lead to a raging cellulitis. That in turn, could lead to septicemia and a nice ICU visit and/or death.

Then again you better hope its not Group A strep!!! Or you will be REALLY sick soon

[Edited on June 2, 2010 at 12:00 PM. Reason : .]


hmm, he hasnt posted in a while..............


this is why folks shouldnt self diagnose http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Necrotizing_fasciitis

[Edited on June 2, 2010 at 12:04 PM. Reason : It was just a little boil!!]

6/2/2010 11:58:08 AM