two pages of explanation

6/13/2010 1:46:02 PM

Quote :

"easy fuck me feed me be nice to me make me laugh done"

6/13/2010 2:09:54 PM

pay attn to me.

/thread

6/13/2010 2:10:19 PM

you'd make a great woman GGMon

6/13/2010 2:11:24 PM

No - I'm good at math and can drive well.

6/13/2010 2:16:46 PM

Quote :

"easy fuck me feed me be nice to me make me laugh done"

deceptively and asininely simplistic. Men are happy with doing #1 yet women make this a chore, largely be leveraging #1 to get men to do #3 while paying for #2 under the false implication that by feeding you and being nice to you we'll get laid. No wonder you get together in little groups and do # 4 all the time.

Besides, women will let a man feed them all day long with no intent of fucking them and fuck the shit out of men who treat them like utter dirt.


Again, we're faced with the misguided notion that women know what they want.

6/13/2010 2:19:25 PM

Quote :

"deceptively and asininely simplistic"

Well as long as we're generalizing genders here, I'd say this (^) about men.

They say they are simple and only want for a few things, but I know plenty who are whiny, manipulative, gossipy, helpless, immature babies ingrained with a ridiculous sense of entitlement

[Edited on June 13, 2010 at 2:32 PM. Reason : actually that sounds like many women too ]

6/13/2010 2:31:25 PM

these are not men.

6/13/2010 2:34:27 PM

Quote :

"deceptively and asininely simplistic."

To say nothing of the fact that "feed me" really translates into "provide for me" which really translates into "buy me shit I don't need."

To a large extent the same applies to "be nice to me."

But I can't blame you girls. If we had something we could use to leverage you into submission, we'd use it. It used to be we had all the money, which outweighed the power of your vaginas. Then we started letting you vote and work and now everything's gone to shit.

6/13/2010 2:44:27 PM

here's some good guidelines:

http://www.menshealth.com/men/sex-relationships/better-sex/what-women-want-from-men/article/65d999edbbbd201099edbbbd2010cfe793cd

I especially likes these:

Quote :

"11. I expect you to call me. 27. I'm very impressed when you ask for my advice. 28. I'm unimpressed with a man who doesn't take the lead. 32. I'm in heaven when you hold my hand. 34. I need to hear how you feel about me. Often. Tell me now. 35. Surprises, especially gifts for moi = more loving. 36. I want to be the best thing that ever happened to you--and for you to recognize this. 39. I like it when you tell me what you're thinking, even if you don't know yourself. 43. A lady should always be greeted with kisses. 44. I like porn. 45. I love holding your bum in the palms of my hands. 47. It's cheating as soon as you're doing something with her that you wouldn't want me to see, hear, read..."

6/13/2010 2:54:15 PM

Quote :

"but I know plenty who are whiny, manipulative, gossipy, helpless, immature babies ingrained with a ridiculous sense of entitlement"

and other men call those guys women . . . with good cause.

Quote :

"I need to hear how you feel about me. Often. Tell me now."

needy . . . go away. In fairness I've dated some very independent women and they are quite awesome.

Quote :

"Surprises, especially gifts for moi = more loving."

I will trade sex for non-monetary gifts that, well, cost money. In other words, I am a whore.

Quote :

"I want to be the best thing that ever happened to you--and for you to recognize this."

I have no real interest in you as a human being, you're mostly a prop in my life to perpetually assuage my insecurities and you'd better be thanking me for the privilege.

6/13/2010 3:04:34 PM

none of those things bother me, knock yourself out being lonely

6/13/2010 3:13:35 PM

Quote :

"I'm very impressed when you ask for my advice"

I know that I routinely make horrible decisions. I need you to blindly put your faith in me now though, to make me feel smart.

Quote :

"I'm unimpressed with a man who doesn't take the lead"

I'm too chickenshit to do things on my own. So, I need you to do things first/for me. After you do these things, don't forget to tell me how brave I am... and how much I'm a 20th century woman capable of standing on my own two...

Quote :

"A lady should always be greeted with kisses"

Be nice to me. Always. Even when I'm a bitch that treats you like shit, and doesn't deserve a goddamn thing.

Quote :

"It's cheating as soon as you're doing something with her that you wouldn't want me to see, hear, read..."

Likewise.

6/13/2010 3:19:03 PM

fuck you all, I'm turning lesbo

6/13/2010 3:25:35 PM

6/13/2010 3:26:44 PM

6/13/2010 3:29:05 PM

^^^ Sometimes, it just makes sense.

6/13/2010 3:30:35 PM

I find this thread to be demeaning towards men, and I would like an apology. Thank you.

6/13/2010 3:39:57 PM

Quote :

"I'm unimpressed with a man who doesn't take the lead"

That way she has no responsibility for the direction that couple goes in, however she does reserve the right to criticize the shit of the dude if it doesn't turn out well.

6/13/2010 3:40:53 PM

That full list is a grand collection of inane bullshit and pointless lies.

Quote :

"11. I expect you to call me."

Quote :

"34. I need to hear how you feel about me. Often. Tell me now."

How fucking needy and paranoid can you get? Jesus Christ.

Quote :

"35. Surprises, especially gifts for moi = more loving. 15. Oral sex is your get-out-of-the-doghouse-free card. Manolo Blahnik shoes also do the trick. 18. Shoes determine whether you're fashionable or not."

This cunt is basically saying that men have to buy love with things, but women are supposed to be loved on their own. Fuckin' A.

Quote :

"17. If I'm not having sex with you, I'm... a.) ...having a fat day. b.) ...not feeling "connected" to you. c.) ...blackmailing you to get something I want."

C makes some sense. As for A and B...fuck you. How does a man wanting to have sex with you not make you think, "Hmm, maybe I'm not as fat as I think?" And as for feeling connected, again, fuck you. That doesn't make any goddamn sense to anybody.

Quote :

"39. I like it when you tell me what you're thinking, even if you don't know yourself. 50. You should know all this and more without my telling you."

There you have it. In short, you should have supernatural fucking powers.

6/13/2010 3:41:55 PM

Quote :

""I'm unimpressed with a man who doesn't take the lead""

no maybe I do every fukin thing and you need to take the lead, cause I'm sick of doing all your shit, I'm not your gd mom.

6/13/2010 3:47:43 PM

u mad

6/13/2010 3:52:23 PM

Quote :

"How fucking needy and paranoid can you get? Jesus Christ."

VERY. you have no idea...

6/13/2010 3:56:29 PM

Every person is different, so we all want different things. Just ask the woman in question what she wants = the answer to your problem.

6/13/2010 4:00:02 PM

i would use that Men's Health article like a daily checklist for begonias

Quote :

"ask the woman in question what she wants"

HAHAHAHAHahahahashashahahahah
AHHAHAAHAHAhahahahaha hahahah hahah uefvurfuwh

[Edited on June 13, 2010 at 4:03 PM. Reason : a]

6/13/2010 4:02:44 PM

Don't bring that logic shit into chit chat

k, thx

6/13/2010 4:02:51 PM

ASKING the real girl would be too easy

We all want to be generalized and talked to like we are dogs.

6/13/2010 4:03:14 PM

Quote :

"37. If I'm not feeling loved, I will start looking...."

In other words, "if you don't meet any of my 50+ criteria at any point in time, I'll fuck another guy, especially if I'm drunk."

6/13/2010 4:03:54 PM

yeah act all indignant about this shit

and then just think about the ridiculous bullshit that would spew from your mouth if your man asked you what do you really want?

6/13/2010 4:04:36 PM

What do you want from me thegoodoctor?

6/13/2010 4:04:55 PM

^ from you I just want the

oh sorry, with that pesky logic out of the way now I can tell you the true story.

I just want you to have big muscles and a nice car, and for me to be your trophy wife. Also don't bother me too much. K thanks.

[Edited on June 13, 2010 at 4:07 PM. Reason : EMCE]

6/13/2010 4:06:30 PM

Aha, back to that "man, a la carte" thing.

If you don't meet 1 of my 10 requirements, ill find another man to meet that one requirement. Don't worry, ill still be with you in the sense that ill let you buy me shit, put a roof over my head, and take me to dinner. I'll just be fucking this other guy...

[Edited on June 13, 2010 at 4:25 PM. Reason : a]

6/13/2010 4:10:25 PM

1. Saying "I love you" immediately before, during, or following sex doesn't count.
I usually say it right after sex anyway

2. Real men drive stick shift.
I hate driving manual cars and usually like to DD if you want to drink so that wouldn't work out so well.

3. I will leave if you lie.
God I hate liars.

4. You are cute in raglan-sleeved T-shirts (two-toned baseball undershirts).
fixed it

5. I'm convinced I'm pregnant and obsess about it for a minimum of 24 to 48 hours before my period, even when I have no rational reason to think so.
This may happen from time to time but if we weren't having sex then I wouldn't be worried about it.

6. I love it when you hug me from behind and whisper in my ear.


7. "Fine" is never an appropriate response when I ask you how I look.
be honest with me

8. Most of the time when I fantasize, it's about you.


9. I'm terrified of becoming my mother, even though I admire her.
I'd hope to become half the person my mother is

10. I get turned on simply seeing that I have an e-mail from you.
little things show you're thinking about me

11. I expect you to call me.
I guess it would suck to never get a phone call from you.

12. Only rock stars are allowed to wear leather pants.
I'd never date anyone that I would have to argue this with.

13. I'm scared of losing my independence.
sometimes. falling in love can be scary

14. I'm more forgiving of you than I really should be.
you make me laugh when I wanna be mad at you

15. Oral sex is your get-out-of-the-doghouse-free card. Manolo Blahnik shoes also do the trick.
oral sex isn't a punishment

16. You did something bad. I seem cool with it. I'm not. (See directly above.)
if I'm upset you'll be able to tell it pretty quick but i might not be out right with it

17. If I'm not having sex with you, I'm... a.) ...having a fat day. b.) ...not feeling "connected" to you. c.) ...blackmailing you to get something I want.
If I'm not feeling sexy then I probably won't want to have sex. If you are only showing me attention because you want sex then I'm going to get irritated. If I warned you earlier that you were annoying me and you kept doing it then I probably won't have sex with you later that night. But usually I'm just tired or sick and don't want to have sex.

18. Shoes determine whether you're fashionable or not.
fuck shoes

19. I own a Debbie Gibson CD, and I'm not afraid to use it.
who?

20. When I compare my flabby tummy to a kangaroo pouch, say nothing.

21. A man I love plans the occasional fancy-schmancy dress-up date and impromptu weekend getaways, and he buys my favorite candy in advance when we're just going to the movies.
sometimes it's nice to be spoiled

22. You look hot in hooded clothing items.

23. You should never tell me what to do.
sometimes you know better than I.

24. If I slept over, you owe me breakfast orgasms.

25. My breasts love much licking and sucking.

26. If you ask me out directly, I will say yes.

27. I'm very impressed when you ask for my advice.
I like to be involved in your life.

28. I'm unimpressed with a man who doesn't take the lead.
I don't wanna be your Mommy and tell you everything to do.

29. When in doubt, go with the shirt that matches your eye color.
I love you eyes.

30. I want to be Madonna.
slut

31. Women get urinary-tract infections easily, so watch (and wash) your fingers.
ew, but I guess it's true...

32. I'm in heaven when you hold my hand.
until it gets sweaty or I need to do something else

33. You're sexy when you're shaving, fixing things, wearing a white T-shirt and jeans, driving, eating a peach, holding a baby.
so true

34. I need to hear how you feel about me. Often. Tell me now.
I need reassurance sometimes.

35. Surprises, especially gifts for moi = more loving.
there are other ways to show you love me.

36. I want to be the best thing that ever happened to you--and for you to recognize this.
I'm going to try and be the best girlfriend I can be and I want you to realize it and not take it for granted.

37. If I'm not feeling loved, I will start looking....
it has happened in the past...

38. Discussion of ex-gf's and ex-bf's should be avoided at all times.
I like to know your history and can accept that there have been others before me.

39. I like it when you tell me what you're thinking, even if you don't know yourself.
I like to be let inside your brain sometimes.

40. Celebrating our anniversary, even if it's only been a few months, earns major bonus points.
Don't be gay or act like its an amazing accomplishment to have dated me for 3 months.

41. I love it when you're sweaty.
I like your stank, boy

42. It's best to consult your gal pals for gift ideas.
only as a last resort. I spend more time with you so you should know what I like.

43. A lady should always be greeted with kisses.
I love your kisses

44. I like porn.


45. I love holding your bum in the palms of my hands.


46. Even nice girls like hushed dirty talk in public.


47. It's cheating as soon as you're doing something with her that you wouldn't want me to see, hear, read...
I'll kill a hoe

48. For the record: I'd rather you break up with me than cheat.
definitely

49. I remember everything about our relationship.
but I'm not going to get angry if you don't

50. You should know all this and more without my telling you.
you know how to make me happy without me having to explicitly say it and that is why I feel in love with you.

6/13/2010 4:15:06 PM

You guys pretend like women are some kind of riddle inside of an enigma, but you're making it more difficult for yourselves.

Ask the woman what they want. If they list off crazy things then you can step out the door right there. If they deviate from what they say they want in the first place, then its not your fault since you already asked and can step out the door at that point.

Easy.

6/13/2010 4:15:21 PM

tldr

6/13/2010 4:16:32 PM

It all boils down, in one way or another, to the same thing: we want attention.

6/13/2010 4:19:01 PM

for some reason this thread got this song in my head (ignore cheesy video)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYi8lA9y_BY
expresssss yourself!

[Edited on June 13, 2010 at 4:21 PM. Reason : .]

6/13/2010 4:21:00 PM

thegoodoctor is everything special to me. I love her, and am going to marry her.

6/13/2010 4:25:08 PM

Quote :

"Ask the woman what they want... ...If they deviate from what they say they want in the first place, then its not your fault"

It's a trap.

Do not listen.

6/13/2010 4:26:11 PM

^^ True.
Also, with the gifts thing? Don't waste your money, but be cute. Cheesy is okay, it means you were at least thinking about her, that's what she wants. Make her happy, you'll get rewarded.

6/13/2010 4:27:08 PM

Also, just as a FYI....

Using sex as a reward or punishment is a very despicable thing to do, which will ultimately end a relationship. It's taking something that should be fun and inherent (in my opinion) in a relationship, and using it as leverage. fuck that.

6/13/2010 4:32:59 PM

well then when i say i'll trade you a blow job for a back rub then YOU should say

"no no no i'll just give you the backrub because i should be doing things like that for you anyway"

mostly the man's fault for letting sex be used as reward or punishment. i don't ever see guys saying "no" to offered sex or sex for exchange of goods/other services. so...unless you're sayin no to the offer, NO WHINING.

[Edited on June 13, 2010 at 4:35 PM. Reason : .]

6/13/2010 4:35:16 PM

EMCE

6/13/2010 4:36:09 PM

You guys both have a point... I agree, sex isn't something that should be used as part of a bargain... if you really need to have trade offs that much, there's something pretty wrong with you guys.
The back rub bit I think goes along with the "be cute" thing. Small favors and such don't have to be monetary. Girls like being touched - that's been made clear.

6/13/2010 4:40:18 PM

^^^To use your example, sure, I would have no problem with that. As long as you also think that you should be giving me random BJ's, cause you should be doing it anyway...

But withholding sex because you didn't get your way, or because you want some earrings is bullshit.


^^

^

6/13/2010 4:40:20 PM

i never withhold, because that just sucks for me, too.

but i don't see what is wrong with using it as a reward. like if you do something extra nice for me you'd get sex anyway but it just might be extra special sex to say "thank you"

6/13/2010 4:41:42 PM

Maybe "reward" was the wrong phrase. I guess I was getting at situations like "I'm not fucking you UNLESS you take me out to dinner"

6/13/2010 4:43:48 PM

Special sex is a myth.

6/13/2010 4:44:03 PM

^^ O I C

yea fuck that.

^ is it? maybe you're living in the wrong world

[Edited on June 13, 2010 at 4:45 PM. Reason : .]

6/13/2010 4:44:49 PM

Quote :

"EXTRA SPECIAL SEX"

6/13/2010 4:44:50 PM