Dave Ramsey says no. Only give money, never loan money.

11/29/2010 10:04:35 AM

^

11/29/2010 10:20:55 AM

Quote :

"350/month minimum cc payment"

11/29/2010 12:53:49 PM

Yeah I can't even imagine how much is owed on those credit cards to have that as a minimum monthly payment.

11/29/2010 1:02:17 PM

Neither a lender nor a borrower be.




Its pretty clear that he can't pay back money he has borrowed

I'm AstralAdvent and i approved this message.

11/29/2010 1:03:02 PM

Quote :

"I can't even imagine how much is owed on those credit cards to have that as a minimum monthly payment."

Quote :

"15k"

11/29/2010 1:29:11 PM

never lend a friend money that you don't expect to get back. might as well just give it to him as a gift or else don't do it.

11/29/2010 2:14:48 PM

I have owed a friend a couple hundred dollars for no less than 48 hours. I felt sick to my stomach until the time I put the owed money back in his hand and felt dirty about it for another few weeks after.

Some people have balls to ask for such things from people they consider a friend. I can't imagine putting myself in a similar position again.

11/29/2010 2:24:40 PM

I totally agree about asking to see a monthly budget.

I've known people that will say that they are so in debt that they can't pay rent, eat, put gas in their car etc but they go out every night drinking and partying.

A girl I know had massive credit card bills and wasn't able to put gas in her car or feed her 2 dogs. I went out and bought her dogs 2 huge bags of the food they eat so that she could at least not worry about them being hungry.

If you are worried about what he might use the money for that you lend him, you can always just pay his rent for him (write the check to the management company) or give him gift cards for grocery stores so that he can buy food. At least you know that your money is going to actually help his situation a little and not going for a round of drinks at a bar.

11/29/2010 2:32:06 PM

You're not his fuckin dad, patronizing him by making him show you his finances is not the right way to approach this situation at all. The right way is:

Quote :

"JUST SAY NO"

11/29/2010 2:42:20 PM

^ Agreed.

11/29/2010 3:21:11 PM

Quote :

"You're not his fuckin dad, patronizing him by making him show you his finances is not the right way to approach this situation at all."

Why not?? If you're lending someone money, being able to request something like that should be one of your rights in that situation. If it scares them away, then that's even better. You have every right to make demands when giving someone a loan, if they won't comply, then they can't have the loan.

11/29/2010 3:38:01 PM

^ Because if you're having to ask a person for that sort of information before you'd give them money, it's best not to give them money at all and let them work it out with a bank.

11/29/2010 3:55:44 PM

Quote :

" HELP ME HELP YOU "

11/29/2010 4:15:57 PM

Quote :

"Because if you're having to ask a person for that sort of information before you'd give them money, it's best not to give them money at all and let them work it out with a bank."

What the hell are they going to work out with a bank?? I'm assuming the debt is credit card debt...and good luck working with them. And banks aren't giving loans to anyone, much less a soon-to-be college graduate with no future job set up and 15k in debt.

Sounds to me like this kid needs to get money from a friend or move back in with his parents after he graduates. If he goes the friend route, whichever friend that lends him some money can ask him for some caveats IMO.

11/29/2010 5:47:59 PM

First off, thanks to everyone for all the input, this has been a lot more helpful and focused than I could have hoped for.

The debt is CC debt.

His parents were doing his tuition, rent, and some living stipend. However, his dad became really sick about 1.5 years ago and had to have a series of surgeries. After the surgeries, he had to stay in another state for treatment and monitoring for several months, so, needless to say it was rather expensive. While the parents have good jobs, the had to take away his monthly payments after ~4 years of college with 1 to go.

From my impressions, it appears he never changed his ways after the rent and stipend stopped arriving just assuming that he would graduate in time to begin paying it off.

11/29/2010 6:41:12 PM

Tell him you'll give him $1100, but to make it work you'll need fifty bucks now

11/29/2010 10:17:29 PM

PArody

Lending a fiend money

11/29/2010 11:54:31 PM

Quote :

"Why not?? If you're lending someone money..."

That's the point. If you need to ask for this stuff to trust someone you call a friend, you're better off just not lending him the cash.

Otherwise, I'll suspect a "Friend borrowed Money and won't pay up" thread in the Lounge anywhere between a few months and a couple years.

11/30/2010 10:37:54 AM

It's not just about trust though. Maybe this friend of his doesn't actually understand how to control his own finances. Having him work out a budget before lending him money also serves the purpose of teaching him how to handle his money.

11/30/2010 2:16:51 PM

He's a senior in college. I don't buy "he doesn't know how to set a budget". You need to let reality hit him, not enable him for another month.

Also, I'd bet $15k that you wouldn't get that $700 back in the next 20 years. And you'd lose your friendship.

11/30/2010 10:16:28 PM

Unless he asked for help managing his finances, which it sounds like he didn't, I'm firmly in the don't patronize him camp. Which means that if you can't trust him implicitly to handle the money responsibly, then you don't lend it.

11/30/2010 10:29:32 PM

Is this friend actually asking you for money? Or was this thread started with the intention of offering help in the form of money without him asking for it?

12/2/2010 8:09:01 AM

Quote :

"He's a senior in college. I don't buy "he doesn't know how to set a budget". You need to let reality hit him, not enable him for another month."

Seriously?? I know tons of people in their 30s who don't know how to set a budget. Some people can handle their money as teenagers, some can't handle it their whole lives.

12/2/2010 8:34:54 AM

people like the OP's friend have to learn the hard way!

Fuck'em all 's my motto-

12/2/2010 8:38:04 AM

Personal finance should be a mandatory class in high school like gym class and drivers ed.

12/2/2010 8:48:29 AM

Parody: Lending a fiend money

12/2/2010 9:06:57 AM

When I had financial trouble I my dad ended up helping me out but even with family there was a lot discussed beforehand. I had to sit down with him and go through all my finances so he knew exactly where I stood and determined how much I reasonably needed to get my head above water and the rest was up to me. He also drew up a basic contract and had me sign it saying that I would in fact pay him back once I got back on my feet. If he is not willing to do these things then he doesnt really need the money as bad as he may claim.

12/2/2010 9:29:57 AM

^And that's a reasonable thing for your dad to do because he is your father. Seeing as the OP is in a very different situation, he/she need to approach this situation without being condescending as fuck, or he/she will just piss him off. He may hold his hat in his hand now and do what's necessary to get the money, but don't think he won't hold a grudge about it.

Just don't do it.

[Edited on December 2, 2010 at 10:22 AM. Reason : ]

12/2/2010 10:22:19 AM

Quote :

"Personal finance should be a mandatory class in high school like gym class and drivers ed. "

1,000,000,000% agreed.

12/2/2010 10:25:27 AM

Quote :

"Personal finance should be a mandatory class in high school like gym class and drivers ed. "

1,000,000,000% agreed.

12/2/2010 10:37:41 AM