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2/11/2011 10:19:26 AM

I need to add all the responses up when I have more time. but either way having sex before or not, i'm doing it. you don't get a repeat on the night.

still shocked at those who didn't!

on friend also said her newly wed friends stole the limo between the wedding and the pics to get it on

2/11/2011 10:37:14 AM

yep, even though we didn't get back to our suite til very late after a busy two days.

2/11/2011 11:49:26 AM

nope, too fucking tired + 6a.m. flight.

more than made up for it immediately after entering our condo in hawaii.

2/11/2011 12:29:11 PM

we'd been living together for a year and a half already. what makes wedding night sex necessary?

but yes, we did. nominally.




[Edited on February 11, 2011 at 12:55 PM. Reason : ]

2/11/2011 12:52:15 PM

Quote :

"the responses in this thread baffle me. i was beyond exhausted but it was happening whether I wanted to or not"

we had an early afternoon wedding so were done earlier than most, but that just made for a super early morning so we were still exhausted. either way, it's your damn wedding day, i don't care if you've done it before or not...

arrive at hotel, sex (while wearing wedding clothes ), bath/jacuzzi together, sex, second dinner, sex, sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep worked well for us

2/11/2011 12:52:56 PM

We'd been having sex with one another for something like 4 years prior to marriage. It just wasn't a priority to do it on our wedding night. Sure, we had intended to do it on our wedding night, but sleep was more important because we had an 8+ hour drive ahead of us the next morning.

2/11/2011 2:06:33 PM

I doubt I would

2/11/2011 2:41:10 PM

My wife originally aired the idea when our daughter was born and it got revived recently when we found that the rear-facing child seat barely fit in her CX-7. The only place a childseat fits without moving the front seat forward is in the center of the backseat, so if we have another kid before the current one faces forward, then we'll have a problem when we need to put all four of us in the car at the same time. The issue doesn't so much concern the need for a third row.

I do think that there are longer and lower options among wagons and even some large sedans that would really be interesting as they tend to have longer wheelbases than the typical crossover, making fitting childseats without having to move the front seats forward possible but I'm sure we won't get anything lower than her current car because she has a joint/knee issue (it's a less-severe case of a disease called ehlers-danlos) that has made the ability to slide directly sideways into the car from standing outside the car her #1 priority.

the reason why I care about it being a fun ride is that whatever we get, it'll be what we go in everywhere. My wife doesn't even ride in my Lincoln, let alone the miata anymore, because she hates dropping down into it and standing up out of it. The "legs-out" seating posture of those two cars also aren't great for her. She doesn't have any difficulty doing it as is necessary in the moment, but it causes her a lot of pain later in the day. So... really.. what we may get to replace her car, if we do, will be one that sits upright at about the current height but also has a long distance from the h-point of the 2nd row to the headrest of the 1st row seats.

I test drove a 2002 LS430, thinking that maybe a soft-enough riding car with upright posture and soft seats might make driving at a lower position more palatable, and there's definitely a longer diagonal distance for a rear-facing childseat to fit, but I haven't shared my experiences of that with my wife yet, since she's said that she wants a 3-row vehicle, even though that doesn't follow necessarily from my above-recited explanation of why we'd look at replacing her cx-7... I think she just assumed we'd need the third row for some reason ... even though it'll be years before we have 3 kids....

Come to think of it... there are a couple of crossovers that I've driven that had unusually far-back 2nd row seating... like the nissan murano... but then that thing is pretty useless for storage behind the 2nd row...

However, even without my personal reasons for shopping for a van, I am intrigued by the minivan, because, like a 2-seat mid-engined coupe or a work-spec pickup, it is a vehicle where accomodation for passengers is never a half-assed attempt. With a sedan or a 2+2 or a wagon, sometimes vehicles are capable of being reviewed without catching that the shape makes the headroom or ingress/egress from the vehicle a PITA, which begs the question of whether such accomodation should have been offered at all! I like vehicles that, if they CAN do something, they do that list of things WELL and don't try to do anything else with low scrutiny. I mean, doesn't it offend your senses that +2 seats were even offered in the vanquish or the evora? Why bother? and if not bother, then why have the room to even have half-assed it? How much weight and footprint could have been saved there?

Btw, one of the amusing things that occurred to me when we were at carmax this past weekend looking at vans and crossovers and wagons is that... if we needed the third row for any reason, only a vehicle with an aisle to get back there is going to work because nobody is going to bother to both remove the rear-facing childseat AND remove the LATCH-mounted seat base in a vehicle that needs to collapse/fold the 2nd row seat to gain access to the third row.

The original minivans had this figured out... there was a wide bench in the back and an offset bench in the middle, so you could have two childseats in the second row but the entire back row would be accessible without having to get around the 2nd row occupants. Even better, it meant a fairly long legroom for at least one seat in the third row. But this arrangement seems to have dissolved since the mid-90s when every minivan added a driver's side sliding door.

There was probably a lot of weight that could have been saved if the driver's side sliding door had never become a necessary feature...

One of my favorite wacky kit cars was a thing call the Brubaker box, which was a sort of micro-van -thing based on a vw beetle, and it had ... ONE door (and the hatch on the back). The door was on the passenger side, where a sliding door would fit on a minivan, and every passenger could get in through that door. brilliant. Nobody remembers that the last minivan to get a driver's side sliding door, the Ford Freestar, was the highest performing in crash tests.

2/11/2011 2:56:02 PM

We fucked more then once, its tradition. How are "you people" too tired? Not like you were doing manual labor for 12 hours. Christ.

Quote :

"After taking out my wife's 5 billion hair pins"

+ 1

[Edited on February 11, 2011 at 3:07 PM. Reason : asd]

2/11/2011 2:58:33 PM

I guess some of us have had enough sex in our lives that there's no sense of urgency to force it after 14 hours of wedding related shit when we've got the next 50 years or whatever to continue smashing guts whenever we want.

2/11/2011 3:22:23 PM

^this. we'd been together for almost 8 years prior to that anyway. plus glacier national park is way more special than rocky mount.

2/11/2011 4:55:04 PM

OMG 14 hours - again, your not working as a roofer. What is wrong with you people.

2/11/2011 10:30:09 PM

have you done this before?

2/11/2011 10:31:47 PM

did you wear a white dress? That is a tradition. Fucking on your wedding night is tradition.

2/11/2011 10:45:23 PM

A study I located found that 1 out of 4 couples don't have sex on their wedding night.

That really can't be surprising. No one saves sex for their wedding night any more and most couples hang around for festivities after the wedding instead of leaving early.

Traditions change. It also use to be tradition to hang the bloody bed sheets out to display your wife was a virgin on your wedding night.

2/11/2011 11:01:22 PM

^^that is the dumbest response ever lol

2/11/2011 11:03:36 PM

Quote :

"BLOODY BED SHEETS"

2/11/2011 11:26:22 PM

I am getting married in june and I don't care what it takes, there will be long awaited sex on that night

2/11/2011 11:34:15 PM

long awaited?

2/12/2011 12:50:55 PM

I figured we would both be too tired to consummate the marriage on the wedding night but it happened. The hubby had been begging for weeks that I wouldn't deny him the big night. I don't remember much other than it not lasting too insanely long and us crashing immediately afterward.

2/12/2011 12:59:23 PM

I love how the woman folk pick and choose the traditions that suit em.

2/12/2011 1:11:28 PM

Quote :

"I am getting married in june and I don't care what it takes, there will be long awaited sex on that night "

virgin sex?!?!

2/12/2011 1:12:09 PM

You wife will never look hotter then on her wedding night, how do you not toss it in her?

2/12/2011 1:15:59 PM

Why are you so riled up about this? What is the big damn deal if someone scrumps on their wedding night or not?


PS. Not everyone wears a white dress.

2/12/2011 1:21:10 PM

did not sex0r on the wedding night. the groom had an allergic reaction to champagne.

2/12/2011 1:24:03 PM

^^ that is true. i don't want a stark white dress

and if/when i get married i'm just gonna go with the flow. if that involves, sex, fine if not, fine whatever as long as we both have fun and our guests have fun and everyone is happy!

[Edited on February 12, 2011 at 1:28 PM. Reason : .]

2/12/2011 1:24:53 PM

there are a bunch of lazy bums in this thread.

2/12/2011 1:27:44 PM

I, too, fucked thumper on her wedding night.


trash.

2/12/2011 1:32:32 PM

Quote :

"did not sex0r on the wedding night. the groom had an allergic reaction to champagne."

The only legit reason I've seen so far. I understand being tired. but the drunk part not so much.

2/12/2011 1:41:57 PM

there are a bunch of lazy bums in this thread.

This is a tough one. Sorta yea I guess I did. To me it felt more like rape and no I didn’t orgasm. She had no interest and made every effort to get out of it, ultimately she agreed and laid there like a side of beef (how sexy huh?).

On our honeymoon we did have sex but it was less than exciting. I was rejected a lot by my new wife. I guess the signs were there, now, sex, is likely to be the final (and only) nail in the coffin of our marriage. Its kinda sad actually, we actually do love one another. Some damage can’t be undone. How does one get over being sexually rejected on their wedding night and on a honeymoon in Bora Bora?

There is a long history behind this and in the end, it is a HUGE problem in our relationship. Here we are eight years later and it is still an issue in our marriage. I notice that most of the people who say “no, its not important” are women. My advice is this. Even if he says it’s not important, IT IS! NEVER ever ever underestimate how important this is to men. For him to not have sex that night is emasculating. Is this what you want to do your new husband? I did more than my 50% of the planning for HER big day, and my big night was considered disposable. (Its her day and HIS night) Yes, the attitude your wife has on the importance of pleasing sexually her new husband (and him pleasing her) on the night of their wedding is a very good indicator of the life to come. We can deny this all we want in an effort to be female politically correct, but that does not change the reality of it. Sex is the glue that emotionally holds a couple together and keeps a man involved. What does it say if there is no emotional glue used on the biggest emotional day in a couples life? It does not have to be great sex but it does need to be meaningful sex.

[Edited on February 12, 2011 at 2:10 PM. Reason : jj]

2/12/2011 1:58:48 PM

Your last sentence is what bothers me the most. To me, fucking for the sake of fucking on the wedding night does NOT equal meaningful. That equals just doing something because you feel like that's the way it has to be done. And obviously it's not emasculating for all men because not only have numerous men in this thread mentioned they were tired, but my fiance' basically said the same thing kadwackle said (just go with the flow, if we're tired - that's fine, if we're not - let the games begin).

And this:

Quote :

"Sex is the glue that emotionally holds a couple together and keeps a man involved."

If sex is the only thing that would keep a man involved in his relationship, I feel like he needs to move on. Holy shit. Yes, sex and intimacy in general are very important, but if that's truly the only reason you stick around I seriously feel sorry for your marriage. Serious question here: what would you do if something physically happened to your wife where you literally couldn't have sex for a very long time? Are you saying something like that would ruin your marriage?

2/12/2011 4:10:08 PM

yea that would be horrible like if your wife got injured or sick and couldn't have sex for awhile. i mean then what? the man just ditches her? i mean i feel like that does happen a lot though.

anyway...even if sex IS the glue, not having sex on your wedding night doesn't mean the relationship is void of sex. i dunno. i'd picture my perfect evening as having a blast at the reception and the after partying with our friends. maybe sex (like quickie bathroom or limo sex) could be snuck in...but i'm not going to plan my whole night around it and i don't think my current bf would want to either (if we got married).

Quote :

"For him to not have sex that night is emasculating. Is this what you want to do your new husband?"

i don't see this. at all. and second of all you're making it seem like the men that didn't have sex on their wedding night were rejected by their wives. maybe THEY were too tired/drunk/whatever.

and is a wedding REALLY the biggest emotional day of a couples life? i don't know. i mean i know it is a big deal and a big deal for the relationship (i guess...but most people i know who have gotten married were really comfortable the entire day and it wasn't some big scary thing), but LOTS of people go through way more emotional days together as a couple. birth of child comes to mind. but pre and post wedding...there are going to be BIG emotional events in a relationship. i dunno...i feel as though the wedding wouldn't be the biggest. but i might have a different take on marriage than a lot of people?!

[Edited on February 12, 2011 at 4:22 PM. Reason : .]

2/12/2011 4:19:30 PM

Seems like GGMon has some serious issues going on. I obviously don't know much about your marriage, but if you're saying it's suffering because you felt rejected during the wedding night/honeymoon, I feel like that warrants some therapy or something. Honestly, if I was in Bora Bora I can't say I would want to spend all day every day having sex. Maybe she wanted to get out and see the sights?..


^ Completely agree. I feel like the birth of a child would be much more emotional than the wedding day. Or what if you found out your spouse had some crazy disease? Yes the wedding is a very important day, but I wouldn't go so far as to say the most emotional day of a couple's time together, even if they don't have kids in the future.

[Edited on February 12, 2011 at 4:26 PM. Reason : .]

2/12/2011 4:24:33 PM

that post by GGMon is the most retarded post i've seen today.

2/12/2011 4:24:48 PM

Quote :

"is a wedding REALLY the biggest emotional day of a couples life?"

it's the biggest clusterfuck of a day in a couple's life. We spent a lot of money and put a lot of effort into doing things just to keep family members happy. If we had it to do all over again, we would have just gone to Vegas with some friends and spent all of 10 minutes in a chapel. It was a lot of stress for a day that neither of us really got to enjoy.

It does make you appreciate going to other people's weddings though, since you can actually relax and enjoy those.

2/12/2011 4:29:29 PM

^ yea that is what i feel like...but i would really rather not have my wedding be a stressful clusterfuck, though i'm sure a quasi clusterfuck is unavoidable. i know some couples that had fun at their own weddings...i wonder what their secret was. probably getting drunk and not giving a shit, if i had to guess.

destination weddings also seem fun. i knew someone that went on a cruise. though i dunno if i could be stuck on a boat with my fam for a week. my friends, yes. fam might have to stay behind

i just don't get people who turn weddings into heavy shit, like new year's eve style. it is usually bridezillas that do this (or, GGMon, who seems pretty bridezillaish). i'm always like, "THIS IS GOING TO BE THE BEST NYE EVER" and then, once again, i find myself sitting on a bench trying to find my friends next to some stranger puking his guts out like "fml how did this happen. AGAIN." i would hate for my wedding to be like that. i know other people know what i mean. anyone? anyone? haha



[Edited on February 12, 2011 at 4:39 PM. Reason : .]

2/12/2011 4:36:56 PM

If we had to do it all over again, the only family that would have gotten invited to a destination wedding is my sister.

2/12/2011 4:40:01 PM

lol, if you guys haven't learned to Google large blocks of text by now, you never will... especially when being trolled.

2/12/2011 5:41:32 PM

Quote :

"i know some couples that had fun at their own weddings...i wonder what their secret was. probably getting drunk and not giving a shit, if i had to guess."

Repeat after me..."As long as the chapel and reception hall aren't on fire, today is going to kick ass."

I can honestly say I enjoyed planning our wedding and it was never really all that stressful aside from the guestlist. Then again, I love doing this kind of stuff so I'm definitely not the norm. I enjoyed every moment of our wedding day b/c anything that wasn't done by the day before the wedding it wasn't going to get done and no one was going to notice that it wasn't there...I seriously stopped caring about all the details as soon as I had tied the last ribbon on the program, and just spent the rest of the week/weekend enjoying time w/ my soon-to-be and the friends and family that traveled to be there.

We had a day of coordinator/director which probably helped for that...Justin nor I (nor our family or bridal party) had to worry about setting anything up or taking anything down. So that was a huge stress reliever.

The wedding day? I had probably 3-4 drinks total and those were b4 the ceremony and during the ride to the reception. I TRIED to drink at the reception...but I was on the dance floor the WHOLE time and every time I sat my drink down it got picked up by someone else. *shrug* No biggie. Seriously...best day ever.

And it is pretty emotional day even if it's stress free. There's a lot of nerves and anxiety leading up to the "I do" even w/o the planning part. The sleep after our wedding day was probably the best sleep ever

2/12/2011 6:07:30 PM

hahahaha

well done, GGMon!

2/12/2011 6:08:11 PM

I had sex on my wedding night. But we held off for a month before so we both we definitely ready for it. Even though I was tired, it was great sex.

2/12/2011 7:06:09 PM

Al the girls worried ITT. Just spread on your wedding night, all will be good.

Plus,that post came from divorce360 message board. Got you all in a lather.

[Edited on February 12, 2011 at 7:20 PM. Reason : opop]

2/12/2011 7:16:20 PM

I don't know why, but I can't help but think GGMon has an ugly wife.

I'd still fuck her though.

2/12/2011 7:18:34 PM

Shes ok - thin with nice tits mos def.

EMCE - it would be my honor.

2/12/2011 7:25:11 PM

I see. Well, I can admit when I'm wrong... and apparently I was wrong.

My apologies, sir. I stand corrected.

2/12/2011 7:30:58 PM

Quote :

"If sex is the only thing that would keep a man involved in his relationship, I feel like he needs to move on. "

Oh yes, most men are married so we can hear you talk about your purses, or your intelligent political takes.

check your head.

2/12/2011 7:57:45 PM

last 4 posts are creepy and wrong

2/12/2011 8:00:13 PM

Holy shit, no. I've never been that exhausted in my entire life. We didn't get home until late and had to be up in the morning the next day. I got it in at the hotel, though.

2/12/2011 8:46:40 PM

no but i hooked up with your mom on your wedding night

I'm AstralAdvent and i approved this message.

2/12/2011 8:53:30 PM