I recently figured out a way to avoid the infamous splash. I got the idea while putting frozen blueberries in my cereal bowl. The first time I put the blueberries they splashed all over and left blue stains on the counter, I was like this has to stop. So then I thought what if I put the cereal in first to disperse the surface tension and then put the blueberries. The idea worked like a charm.. The next time I was in a public toilet I was like wait a minute what if I put some TP in the bowl first maybe I can avoid the splash and voila! I had solved the problem! based on trial and error I have calculated the exact amount of TP needed to avoid a squat splash!

10/4/2011 9:22:19 PM

GOOD THINKING.

10/4/2011 11:34:27 PM

^^That is what we in the industry call putting down the runway. I like to think of it as an aircraft carrier but instead of landing planes, it's shit.

10/5/2011 12:13:05 AM

Which is even harder!

10/5/2011 12:14:37 AM

I ball toilet paper and wipe the seat even if it looks dry.

Because fuck that shit I'm not wiping your piss off my ass.

10/5/2011 12:26:29 AM

F: None of the above

Reason: I avoid shitting in public toilets like the plague.

10/5/2011 6:45:21 AM

^ in this case "6inch grip on an 8 inch turd"

You must get some serious full turd skid marks by the time you get home.

10/5/2011 7:58:15 AM