Taking time off

8/16/2011 2:33:55 PM

"It's working as designed"
"I cannot reproduce the issue"
"Let's refactor the design"
"It works fine on my machine"
"Did you get latest?"

8/16/2011 2:39:27 PM

Not specific to the work environment, but I'm tired of hearing overuse of:

"and what-not"

"and what have you"

8/16/2011 2:45:20 PM

"The build works internally"

8/16/2011 2:45:22 PM

I'll take that as an action

8/16/2011 2:51:35 PM

ACTION NEEDED: PLEASE RESPOND BY COB TODAY

8/16/2011 2:56:53 PM

The "Orchestration layer" handles that

8/16/2011 2:59:39 PM

Quote :

""It's working as designed" "I cannot reproduce the issue" "It works fine on my machine" "

how would you state the same thing without using those phrases? Those don't strike me as cliched jargon at all.

8/16/2011 3:44:40 PM

HAHA fuck yea "Action item"

8/16/2011 3:46:01 PM

"Ball in Court"

8/16/2011 3:55:30 PM

Certain Devs I know repeat these phrases regularly without any thought or proof. They immediately dismiss issues before investigating with these phrases in order to minimize their workload and slow down the Dev cycle (self-interest).

"It's working as designed"

Literal Translation: That's not a bug. In fact, your 'bug' is really an enhancement on the current system. Good/Bad/True, it's still Closed.

"I cannot reproduce the issue"

Literal Translation: The 'provided steps' did not show the reported issue. That doesn't mean it's not an issue, but 'Closed' anyway.

"It works fine on my machine"

Literal Translation: It's an environmental problem, not the software, Closed.

I'm guilty of it too, but much less so than others.

[Edited on August 16, 2011 at 4:19 PM. Reason : -]

8/16/2011 4:17:10 PM

Quote :

"They immediately dismiss issues before investigating with these phrases in order to minimize their workload and slow down the Dev cycle"

unlikely

it's more likely that the shitty bug report doesn't have enough information to reproduce the issue because testers are lazy and their lives suck


[Edited on August 16, 2011 at 4:20 PM. Reason : ']

8/16/2011 4:19:55 PM

On several occasions, I have followed the exact same steps and fixed the issue in like 5 minutes. So it's true in my world.

8/16/2011 4:23:36 PM

herding cats

8/16/2011 4:29:19 PM

It bugs the shit out of me when people use 'ask' and 'spend' as nouns.


It's a customer REQUEST. NOT a customer ASK.
It's a customer BUDGET. NOT a customer SPEND.

10/7/2011 11:23:23 AM

please find attached file.

10/7/2011 11:37:11 AM

"Semper Gumby"

"To caveat off what he/she just said." <----That one pisses me off the most because they don't even know the definition of the word!

10/7/2011 11:58:05 AM

motherfuckers here don't understand shit when it comes to pluralizing acronyms and when to use apostrophes or not.

10/7/2011 11:59:14 AM

one of my managers just speaks in jargon so it makes it seem as if he's actually doing his work, when he's really not doing shit.

He always starts meeting with "ok we need to assess the problem, collaborate on a solution, and put the solutions into action.

Half the time the meetings aren't even about a problem, so we're all sitting there like WAT?

10/7/2011 12:07:02 PM

Quote :

"ACTION NEEDED: PLEASE RESPOND BY COB TODAY"

especially if they're sent at 4:45pm and later. I'm like "mofo I'm gone already, lawl"

10/7/2011 2:25:00 PM

OMG

can't stand it when people just stop by with "so, how's it goin?"

had a manager come by every 45 minutes asking me that shit at one job

he didn't last long

10/7/2011 2:32:15 PM

Quote :

"speaking in acronyms. I could probably build a logical sentence out of nothing but acronyms."

lol my last job was like this. But it was so ingrained in the work culture there you started doing it yourself without even realizing it

"AJET needs some ALTs and JTEs to come to the CLAIR conference to share ideas with MOFA."

FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

10/7/2011 2:46:53 PM

^^ reminds me of this past sunday's dilbert:



replace the first three frames with him asking 'how's it going?'

10/7/2011 3:32:10 PM

Quote :

""keep him hard" "use your mouth""

Mr.Joshua wins again

10/7/2011 4:04:56 PM

I hear the phrase "fire drill" a lot - basically needing something yesterday but I asking for it today.

10/7/2011 4:18:40 PM

I can't stand:

Ping
Due diligence
Net-Net
Deliverable
Sharpen the saw

10/7/2011 4:37:36 PM

"blocking and tackling"

Once we finish this up it's just blocking and tackling.

"chop some wood"

Lots of others as I work in finance hell. I've actually got a 10 page PDF that gets circulated of banker cliches.

10/7/2011 5:02:16 PM