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9/25/2011 10:23:43 PM

I have an excellent story about grinding.

One time I was throwing a kegger at my place. The party was bumping. We had all types of people in the hizzy - fratdaddies, sorostitutes, gun-toting hip gangster wannabes, scientologists, insecure dysfunctional actresses, wake tech students, and one guy who was playing Super Mario Bros. 3.

I was sitting on the couch next to my girlfriend when this random chick danced her way over and proceeded to give me for free what I normally pay $25 for. When the song ended, she kept dancing but stood up to dance in front of me. My girlfriend grabbed her by the arm and pulled her down between us. I expected her to give her a stern talking-to, but instead she took her hand, placed it on my boner, and said "he likes it! he really likes it!"

She then grabbed my arm and dragged both of us down the hallway to our bedroom. Friends, as you all know, what goes up must come down.

My girlfriend and this random chick started doing cocaine on the blow mirror that we keep in our room.

Have any of you ever gotten a boner and found yourself with 2 chicks in your room? No way I was holding this in for long.

So I went in the bathroom and brought myself back down to Earth.

Then I took a shit. I'm a man so this took 25 minutes, which was plenty of time for the refractory period to end.

I walked back into the bedroom. They were both still there. I did the only thing that I could do in a situation like this. I fucked both of the girls in their asses and demanded payment from the random chick for the cocaine she had used.

9/26/2011 3:22:40 AM

9/26/2011 8:18:42 AM

This thread is surprisingly great. I've never gotten a boner grinding, but I think it's because I'm mortified by what I know are terrible dance skills. I'm talking about my lack of skills.

Also

Quote :

"i let them know ahead of time its gonna be unfulfilling"

9/26/2011 8:54:28 AM

how does one dance like a jackhammer?

9/26/2011 9:02:44 AM

Quote :

"I was in Peru with NCSU study abroad, at the only nightclub in Aguas Calientes. I was happily sitting by myself, enjoying my rum and coke, watching the people dance and rejoicing that I no longer had dysentery. Suddenly one of the cuter girls in our group slides into the seat beside me and throws an arm around me. I'm confused but happy until she explains that she's over here pretending like she's with me, because some creepy guy on the dance floor kept poking her with a boner while she was grinding on him. I had always thought that was sort of the point, but I'm not much of a dancer so what do I know? Our local fixer, a dude named Javier who spoke about two words of English and had a face covered in scars from far fights, came over and asked how we were doing. The girl spoke virtually no Spanish that I could tell, so it was left to me to explain, "That dude over there keeps poking her with his boner," or something to that effect in Spanish. He considered and said, "Tell her if it happens again I will break a bottle over his head." Then he went over and escorted the offender outside, where I assume he beat the living shit out of him. Too long, did not read. [Edited on September 25, 2011 at 3:14 PM. Reason : ten years of spanish for "ese tipo le toca con su ereccion muchas veces" or something like that]"

grumpyGOP for mod

9/26/2011 9:09:00 AM

i seriously want an entire book full of tww'ers discussing this topic in about 1-3 paragraphs

9/26/2011 9:12:38 AM

The one thing I never understood about certain males trying to grind on you is why the F they think there is a snowball's chance in hell of impressing you when a) they are a major creeper and have been standing by themselves or with equally creepy friends just watching all the girls, b) don't have much to work with anyway, and c) can't dance to save their lives. Oh, and just a word of advice: if you try to do this while you're at a gay bar, it WILL creep out the straight females and you will not be chosen for grinding over a fun gay man who can actually dance


Also, I'll admit occasionally when I have had a bit too much to drink I will try to ya know, stir something up in the fiance's pants but for the most part, you can dance without feeling or giving boners

For example, once I danced with this guy who was in fact just an amazing dancer - and come to think of it, we didn't grind once. Plus, he was POLITE and wasn't a fucking weirdo

[Edited on September 26, 2011 at 9:26 AM. Reason : ps, he was not gay]

9/26/2011 9:26:48 AM

I've never enjoyed dancing on any level.

9/26/2011 9:30:17 AM

I just wish more people would realize there are other levels of dancing besides "let's act like I'm ramming it into your butt"

Oh and sidebar: I learned how to Dougie this weekend and I'm pretty excited about it

9/26/2011 9:34:00 AM

those other levels of dancing suck, too.

It's just an obligation i'm forced into doing at weddings and shit.

9/26/2011 9:35:27 AM

I understand where you're coming from, I'm pretty sure my fiance' feels the same way

The only thing he can do is the basic "side to side" move... a la Kevin James in Hitch

9/26/2011 9:36:42 AM

Obviously I'm not that into the gay bar scene, but why the hell would a dude be looking to hook up with a chick at a gay bar?

9/26/2011 9:38:24 AM

Beats me

I have seen it every time I have gone to Legends (which is like.. twice.) - each time there was a guy standing by himself, in the corner, waiting to see a straight female dancing by herself.. then he would swoop in and try to dance. The guy I distinctly remember tried dancing with myself and friends, then with almost every girl in the place and was extremely sketchy. I just don't understand it. How is that going to impress or turn on a girl?


OH THAT'S RIGHT IT DOESN'T

9/26/2011 9:42:14 AM

My friends used to call this 'the sneak attack'. We calculated its odds of working and eventually resulting in some sort of hookup are about 1 in 18. The guy is basically playing the odds and 'putting his feelers out' so to speak for a female who is drunk enough to recognize and not be creeped out enough to reciprocate. That's why guys sit back and look like a creeper for so long while scoping out the girls on the dance floor to see who gets drunk enough. Then they see if youre dtf by poking you. Rinse and repeat until it works.

9/26/2011 9:55:52 AM

Quote :

"I've never enjoyed dancing on any level."

There is a small percentage of people who are hopeless when it comes to dancing but in most cases it can be taught with the proper methods. I'm not a professional dance instructor but I've taught a lot of moves to people, guys and girls. It has to be done methodically and repetitively. Most of that Footloose shit doesn't work unless you are part of the small percentage of people who can pick things up fast. I'm actually a really slow learner, which is why I am good at teaching it.

Also, I don't think women are inherently better at dancing than men. There is just less social taboo for them to get out there in a social setting (bar whatever) and they aren't required to do any leading in dances that require a partner.

9/26/2011 10:59:58 AM

I feel like I'm an okay dancer. But, judging by the reactions on people's faces, I'm really horrible. So all my moves quickly devolve into me being like, "AHA, just kidding..." Unless I'm with a friend who really wants to dance....then I'll suck it up and humiliate myself if they need company.

9/26/2011 11:15:26 AM

9/26/2011 11:18:43 AM

^AHA, I would need to videotape myself to confirm, but I'm pretty sure that's what I'm working with.

And people really do stop dancing and just stare at you. And you have to act like you were doing joke moves trying to be funny, hoping someone will play along and laugh at your physical "comedy."

BUT I FEEL LIKE I'M DOING REALLY GOOD!

(Not to exaggerate...this has only happened twice in small group situations. I haven't brought a whole club to a screeching halt or anything.)

[Edited on September 26, 2011 at 11:33 AM. Reason : I'VE GOT SO MUCH HEART!]

9/26/2011 11:27:53 AM

women like to feel my heavy hanger bouncin around the ass crack

you cant just stand there, you gotta stand there and pull your shirt up

[Edited on September 26, 2011 at 11:28 AM. Reason : f]

9/26/2011 11:28:29 AM

i used to have the nick name "the Grind King" because i was always grinding on chicks on the dance floor AND THEY LIKED IT!!!

9/26/2011 11:34:17 AM

Too much insecurity ITT.

I dance how I want to because it makes me feel good, not to fulfill others' expectations on socially acceptable ways to dance. So many people are afraid of "looking stupid" on the dance floor. I typically like clubs that play electronica because people just dance by themselves and freestyle / free express and not worry about any social barriers or pressures.

9/26/2011 12:00:58 PM

^Yes!

9/26/2011 12:04:58 PM

One of the coolest things is when you can get out on a dance floor and the whole place just clears on its. And it's just you up there showing off... it's attention-whoreish but it's pretty sweet. And then people come up and challenge you to a dance-off.

9/26/2011 12:11:15 PM

I usually just do whatever I feel like when on the dance floor. A lot of the time I probably look like an idiot and everyone thinks I'm wasted, but I'm just trying to have a good time. I think it is kind of hard to know if you are a good dancer or not. I did win a booty shaking contest, but my competition was wasted and didn't have an ass, so that wasn't really fair. I have participated in spur of the moment dance-offs and they are probably the most fun. I've also taken jazz, ballet, tap, and gymnastics growing up. I miss dancing.

9/26/2011 12:20:55 PM

^^^^

9/26/2011 12:43:47 PM

here's a selection of what is in the works for the first dance at our wedding.

this is how i get down.

9/26/2011 12:58:16 PM

where's my invite yo?

9/26/2011 12:58:54 PM

...That is someone's daughter.

9/26/2011 12:59:12 PM

i would like to be spun around like that by pshoes

just kidding i lie

9/26/2011 12:59:54 PM

Quote :

""that type near you touches her with his erection many times" (IIRC aquel is used for someone near neither speaker nor listener) "

True enough, although how one defines "near" is at issue. The guy couldn't have been more than twenty feet away, and I was pointing. Either way, Javier got the fucking point, OK?

And yes, this was with the Villa-Garcias, in 2005.

[Edited on September 26, 2011 at 2:02 PM. Reason : and that almost certainly wasn't what I actually said, it was six years ago]

9/26/2011 2:02:14 PM